Best insult comebacks

[Not G. Ivingname]

Curb stomp. That shuts them the fuck up.
Or,"Sticks and stones may break my bones but so will your Mom if she climbs on top."
But really, there's no comeback better than violence. Mmmmmm violence.

I think Yakko could make a comeback that could prove that wrong.

 

[Nouw]

"Fuck you!"

"Anytime, anywhere"

Cookie for who knows its from.

 

[THEMANWHOIS]

*snip*

Douche: Why don't you go suck a cock like your mom? You should have been aborted.

Me: Yeah, well you're the load your mom should have swallowed.


He didn't respond after that. That's my favorite insult to use on X-Box Live when people annoy me, along with "the best of you dribbled down your mom's leg".

That's all we really needed from that story. But gracias nonetheless.

Mine... hmmm... I'm more of an essay person, not a speak in class kind of person, so I'm not good on the spot. It'd probably sound something like, "Yeah? Yeah?... Well... FUCK YOU THEN!"

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Curb stomp. That shuts them the fuck up.
Or,"Sticks and stones may break my bones but so will your Mom if she climbs on top."
But really, there's no comeback better than violence. Mmmmmm violence.

I think Yakko could make a comeback that could prove that wrong.

And go.

 

[Dok Zombie]

In a similar theme to some previous posts...

Me: *Generic "I fucked your mother" joke.*
You: My mother's dead.
Me: I know, why do you think I needed the spade?

 

[Dok Zombie]

"Fuck you!"

"Anytime, anywhere"

Cookie for who knows its from.

Also, Aliens.

 

[Maltyz]

"Go fuck yourself"
"I dont need to, Ive got your mom"
"My moms dead"
"...Huh...Well that explains why shes been so limp lately"

Wahaha! I picture your avatar saying that!

 

[Aur0ra145]

If the person insulting you is from the south...

"This coming from a person whose compatriots are people dumb enough to reenact a war they lost..."

 

[Just_A_Glitch]

*snip*

Douche: Why don't you go suck a cock like your mom? You should have been aborted.

Me: Yeah, well you're the load your mom should have swallowed.


He didn't respond after that. That's my favorite insult to use on X-Box Live when people annoy me, along with "the best of you dribbled down your mom's leg".

That's all we really needed from that story. But gracias nonetheless.

Mine... hmmm... I'm more of an essay person, not a speak in class kind of person, so I'm not good on the spot. It'd probably sound something like, "Yeah? Yeah?... Well... FUCK YOU THEN!"

Yeah, you're probably right, but I'm an author at heart, and I love to tell a story.

BTW, I've used your insult too. Its surprisingly effective at times.

 

[SecondmateFlint]

I usually just use the "it takes one to know one" approach.

Surprisingly...it works?

 

[Composer]

"Fuck you"
"Which position?"

i love it
im going to use this the next chance i get

 

[BlindMessiah94]

What Jimmy Carr did to this heckler.

<spoiler=Might be a little NSFW><youtube=1ioBZ5fNJO8>

Haha, thanks that made me laugh.

 

[Marter]

What Jimmy Carr did to this heckler.

<spoiler=Might be a little NSFW><youtube=1ioBZ5fNJO8>

Haha, thanks that made me laugh.

Your welcome. I thought it was quite fitting for this thread.

 

[Maltyz]

I know you are but what am I?

 

[pwnzerstick]

Another one I like is "Go suck a dick"
"Sorry your mom's not my type"

 

[snow]

Guybrush: "You fight like a Dairy Farmer..."
Pirate: "How appropriate, you fight like a Cow."

 

[Reaper195]

Dick: *Give any kind of insult*
Me: Yeah? Well you're a block of cheese.

Not a great comeback, but dumb enough to confuse people, leaving plenty of time to walk away....or punch them in the nuts/boobs.

 

[Nouw]

"Fuck you!"

"Anytime, anywhere"

Cookie for who knows its from.

Also, Aliens.

Spoiler: Here is your cookie

 

[AnalogSet]

My personal favorite,

Them: You're a pussy!
Me: You are what you eat

 

[Schwenkdawg]

i like the one from XKCD:
"yo did you hear about x?"
"nah man, I'm really not that into pokemon"