Bisexuality doesn't exist

[hailfire]

it's a scale, there is no such thing as "completely gay" or "completely straight". however some people are close enough to one end of the scale that they can be classified as such.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

I'm sure you didn't mean it like this, but your comment highlights a very common female stereotype of bisexuality.

Well...yeah. That was the point. I did intend to highlight it, because I was citing it as a real and unfortunate reason for the creation of a damaging stereotype. Because he's a guy, he just as the 'luck' that he doesn't have to deal with that, too.

People frequently treat female bisexuality as anything from a phase to desperation because of the misconception that all females can just- I dunno- flip a gay switch and suddenly make out. It trivialises an innate part of many women's lives; something which they cannot change about themselves becomes views as a 'phase' or an inability to choose (NB- I'm well aware that bi guys have the same problem about being accused of being 'on the fence' too, I was mentioning that specifically in relation to- but not exclusively to- the female stereotype).

Guys being considered the be 'on the fence' is a different issue than girls being considered, for lack of a better term, 'college lesbians.' They're both damaging in their own way.

Additionally, that whole 'drunken sorority' bi stereotype really emphasises the belief that bi girls are by definition promiscuous, which just makes me really sad.

Part of the problem is that it isn't so much a stereotype as it is a mislabeling, and then a stereotype by association. Same reason for the stereotype about gays being promiscuous: you see the ones that are, and you don't see the ones that aren't, both for obvious reasons. Most gay guys I know are the sort that you'd only realize are gay through conversation, probably around the point they mention having a boyfriend, and the lack of parts where they mention liking sex with ladies.

As you may have guessed, I am both female and bi and for me dating has been difficult at times because a couple of my dates were convinced that I was going to be flighty or even cheat on them with someone of the opposite sex. I have never done anything like that, but at the same time trying to start a relationship with someone without making them aware of a key fact about me feels like lying. I can only speak from the experience of me and my friends in similar situations, but basically those sorts of flippant bi female stereotypes can be incredibly damaging.

Yep. It seems like a really obvious lesson to be learned, but a lot of people don't really acknowledged that the application of stereotypes is, by nature, damaging. Ironically, it's just sort of assumed to be a bad thing that only happens with other people.

 

[fatmrbunko]

i think you guys are just greedy but either way thats what you are i dont see why anyone would pretend to be bi when theyre gay though or when theyre straight unless their parents want grandchildren or something in which case you need only lie to them

 

[Virmire]

It is foolish to call something like this non-existant. It is done, and thus it is.

 

[LilithSlave]

i think you guys are just greedy

Is a person who doesn't care what race they date greedy?

Why have more things in the way of who date than less? It's not like being bisexual means you want to have more sex.

Bisexuality is just saying "I don't care as much about what gender I date as heterosexuals and homosexuals". Or at least that's often what it means. There's nothing greedy about not being picky about what someone was born as. It's the personality and choices one makes that should count in why you are attracted to them, not what they look like.

 

[Char-Nobyl]

I do not take it personally. It is just annoying to have to hear the same thing all the time and has to give an explanation.

No, I mean what was the supposed implication that came with you taking it personally. I don't doubt your statement, but the "You know what it means when you take it personal, riiiiight?" thing didn't compute.

The same thing happened when I was traveling around europe. I always had to explain where I was from, and people would Always say "oh but you don't look Italian" when I said I am Italian and south American. Don't even get me started on how they reacted when I said I was from Sweden (I was born and raised here so saying I'm Italian or whatever feels weird).

Wait...what? So wait, hang on: where were your parents born and raised, for the most part?

Worst was in Germany where an old man said In German "he's as Swedish as I'm African" in condescending manner. I didn't exactly feel comfortable having to give him my family's history lesson. Well at least it was fun when i responded in German and he was mortified that I had understood his incredibly rude remark.

As funny as the end of that sounds, even I'm a bit confused about your ethnic background myself. (For the purposes of the next statement, I'm just going to replace 'South American' with...'Peru.' I full well realize that South America has quite a few different parts to it, and since you didn't specifically which you've got ancestry from, I'll just pick the one that fits with most people I know.)

From what you've said, you're a Peruano-Italian who was born in Sweden and proficiently speaks German. In all honesty, I can see why an elderly German man would be confused. If you don't phrase it carefully, it's downright baffling to someone whose just met you.

 

[Layzor]

Well from experiance, 95% of "bisexuals" i know are just doing it for attention, oh look at me i kissed someone of the same sex im so cool, give me attention.

But speaking as a pansexual with quite a few actual bisexual friends, yes bisexuality is a real thing, its not just for people who cant make their mind up or are in denial.

You fuck pans? gross.

 

[Lerasai]

You see this bicycle? It doesn't exist. It's actually a greedy and indecisive unicycle. Or perhaps it's a tricycle in denial.

But it sure as hell isn't a bicycle.

This might be my favorite forum post in the history of ever.

OT: This is the reason I'm not exactly comfortable yet with telling everyone I know about being pansexual. It's an awful feeling when others don't take something about you that you may struggle with seriously or they believe you're being dishonest with them or yourself. I'm always afraid that I'll admit something to someone I care about that took me a long time to admit to myself and they will just laugh at me.

People just have an incessant need to categorize each other without exception. They say that a bisexual person is lying because they want attention or they're "not brave enough" to admit to being strictly one way or the other and even if they do believe bisexuality exists they see all bisexuals as promiscuous.

What's weird is that this isn't just limited to sexuality. Even when we're kids we have to like one specific color or prefer one food over all others. Or it's what is your favorite sport, what is your favorite genre of music, etc. and if you answer with something vague or complicated the other person gets annoyed. No one seems to be willing to accept that people just aren't simple, motivations aren't simple, sexuality isn't simple, life isn't simple. But, isn't it great that it isn't?

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

Well from experiance, 95% of "bisexuals" i know are just doing it for attention, oh look at me i kissed someone of the same sex im so cool, give me attention.

But speaking as a pansexual with quite a few actual bisexual friends, yes bisexuality is a real thing, its not just for people who cant make their mind up or are in denial.

You fuck pans? gross.

Hey dont knock it til you've tried it. Whats so gross about it as long as you give them a wash afterwards?

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

bisexuality only exists if you believe in it. Like voodoo, or gingers

anyway, im glad this was an justified angry rant and not a pile of ignorance

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Bisexual = straight and gay at the same time.

It's right there in the name, BIsexual, just like BIlingual means you speak two languages.

 

[[Fallacy]]

You see this bicycle? It doesn't exist. It's actually a greedy and indecisive unicycle. Or perhaps it's a tricycle in denial.

But it sure as hell isn't a bicycle.

Made my night :')

I've never really felt that any person's sexuality can be dumbed down to such simple and 'stone-set' categories as the aforementioned 'gay, straight, bi'.

Perhaps people are sceptical of bisexuality given it seems a common trend recently to openly oneself bi just for the sake of attention, or the phrase I'm sick of hearing coined "I'm bi when drunk."

I was extremely annoyed when I told somebody that I 'supposed I'd be called bisexual' (since 'pansexual' tends to prompt a further fifteen minutes of explanation) and he later on proceeded to genuinely say use the words "Wait, you would get into a relationship with a guy OR a girl? Haha that's not what bi-curious means!"

 

[DrFecka]

You see this bicycle? It doesn't exist. It's actually a greedy and indecisive unicycle. Or perhaps it's a tricycle in denial.

But it sure as hell isn't a bicycle.

You sir, are made of win. As a straight person, I think they're either really dickish, or really uninformed. Bisexuality is a real thing and doesn't just mean you can't decide.

 

[Mcupobob]

I don't even know man. With the all the different sexualities most of which I'm starting to think are just being made up on the spot. I think the human race is just gonna one day break out into a massive orgy.

 

[Saviordd1]

Do what I do when people say that to me.
I can sleep with a guy or a girl and be happy, I'm pretty sure that makes me bi

 

[Sidiron]

I must say that bisexuality does exist, however part of the problem is that we humans like nice and clear cut labels in life where most things are strange shades of grey. Sexuality is one of these such things hence why cleverer people than I have said that it is a scale/continuum.

I am a bisexual male and obviously biased but I concur with the previous posters that "Greedy", "Undecided", "Attention seeking" and many of these other judgements are really insulting and derogative especially when we have enough problems with the religious and intolerant telling us it is immoral and abhorant.

Yet all these teenagers "being bisexual" like the previous generations were "Emo" or "Punks" tends to undermine the rest of us, especially for those who are already looking for reasons to dismiss and abuse.

Kudos to the Escapist Forum users for the intelligent and sensible comments which is a fresh change on the internet.

 

[Sparcrypt]

"oooooh why are you getting so upset huh? :3 You know what it means when you take it personal riiiiight?"

How is it NOT personal?

Thats like me coming up to you and calling you a fag, then telling you to not get upset and not to take it personally... I've just insulted you.. personally. How ELSE does one take these things? They're talking about a very personal issue, to that person.

People who say that are stupid, hit them with a bat :/.

OT: you may be just confused for now and pick a side later (whichever). Or you may stay bi forever. Either way, at this point in your life you are attracted to both sexes, therefore you are bisexual in my opinion, regardless of who you are sleeping with this second.

 

[LilithSlave]

I suppose it's because, for many people on the internet, "u maaaaaaad?" is some kind of insult.

It's also only allowed to be used in a politically incorrect fashion.

What a wonderful internet.