Black & White Monster Penis Almost Got Peter Molyneux Knifed

[Endocrom]

(looks at watch) Is it that time already?

I can't believe it's PeterMolyneuxDrumsUpPublicity o'clock

 

[Antari]

Hes either going to get locked up and they'll throw away the key .... or he'll make millions. Probably the later ... All Hail Lord British!

 

[Jezzascmezza]

The person who thought of the title for this thread deserves the Nobel prize.

 

[LGC Pominator]

How is it that Molyneux can do the most dickish things, create so many half done games and yet still be the single most likeable person in the games industry? (aside from Sage Merill of course!)

It isn't exactly like he tries to be a cool guy, yet everything he seems to do seems to land somewhere between humorous sophisticated dicking around and stargazing naivete', and still seems to make him seem like the sort of guy you would have a drink with

In fact that's my new goal for this decade, have a drink with Peter Molyneux just to see if I can actually remember my crippling hatred for the failures in most of the things he has done whilst holding a conversation with the guy

 

[Callate]

...So Peter Molyneux needs an editor with a knife at hand to keep out his more ridiculous ideas? Maybe to stand behind him at PR conferences...?

All kidding aside, I actually kind of admire Molyneux. He often promises more than he delivers, but he's one of the few people remaining in the business who can honestly lay claim to having brought genres of games into being. He promises more than he can deliver, frequently, but at least he aims for the stars rather than churning out endless sepia-colored cash-ins.

 

[Raziel_Likes_Souls]

Wow. I wonder how he'd react to this?

That's fucking hilarious, though.

 

[Gudrests]

Molyneux, you crazy bastard!

I have to try the B&W games. Should I start with 2?

You can play either first...not like they have ANY connection between the two besides your helpers...but #2 is easier to work and understand and the army system make it alot easier/harder... (depending on you "aim")

 

[Bernzz]

...the fuck?

An interesting story, I guess, but..

...what.

 

[Giest4life]

Well, the name of the studio is "Lionhead."

 

[Lullabye]

Wow, i read this article thinking it was about the new pokemon games........ :|

Good, so it wasn't just me....

OT:
Peter Molyneux called a giant, morphing monster ape penis beautiful.
WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.

 

[SeanTheSheep]

Read Molyneux's parts out to the next person you see.
I promise you, when they let you out of prison, I will pay you £5

 

[Diddy_Mao]

...spending your work day painstakingly rendering a monster tallywhacker would probably drive most people insane."

This is one of the things that I kept thinking about when my friends and I would talk about the visual style of the Watchmen movie.

Dr. Manhattan is entirely CGI, that means that some poor artist had to spend at least a couple of days drafting, programming and animating his glowing blue wang.
No matter what the project is you don't go home after a day of dingus programing and really feel good about your life choices.

Anyway, as much as it pains me to say I can kinda relate to what Mr. Malyneux is saying here. Sometimes, as an artist you get a weird bug up your ass to include something in your design, and come hell or high water you are going to include it in your final draft.
The problem is that if you're working as part of a design team, sometimes you're the only one on board your little party wagon and nobody else is coming along.
And yes if you keep pushing for the unpopular option someone is eventually going to threaten to shank you.

 

[DayDark]

I love Peter Molyneux!

I imagine his the kind of guy who in the creative process of making a game, simply opens all mental borders and goes insane. Nobody can doubt his vision.

 

[John Funk]

If this is true, I think I know exactly why that artist would go crazy.

It's not the part about modeling an ape wang. Trust me, computer professionals get asked to do that kind of shit every day.

It's not that Molyneux was a taskmaster or crazy guy to work for.

No, what made the guy allegedly threaten Peter with a knife was most likely that the artist knew for a solid fact that the wang and it's morphing paths would NEVER make it to a shipping game. This meant that any time spent modeling the penis was time spent on something that would not even make it to a portfolio. Working any significant time on stuff that will never be published, seen, or even reused really pisses creatives and programmers off. After the second or third request to tweak the dynamics of the penis as it goes from semi to full erect, suspecting this ridiculous bit of crap is probably just fueling some weird masturbation mechanic for Peter Populous, I would probably have brought up a stabbing as well. With perhaps some flaying and roasting thrown in for good measure.

Really gang. Don't fuck with your creatives. They will likely leave. And they just might end up making a better product.

Really?

Do you actually know how much stuff gets created for a videogame that never sees the light of day? An artist can still include something in his/her portfolio even if it never makes it into the final product, you know.

If you're the type to get snippy over something you've worked on never actually being released, than you shouldn't be in the videogame industry. It's just how thinks work.

 

[SimuLord]

"It just goes to show you just how rubbish I am as a designer, really."

All I can say to this, Mr. Molyneux, is "AND HOW."

 

[SaintWaldo]

If this is true, I think I know exactly why that artist would go crazy.

It's not the part about modeling an ape wang. Trust me, computer professionals get asked to do that kind of shit every day.

It's not that Molyneux was a taskmaster or crazy guy to work for.

No, what made the guy allegedly threaten Peter with a knife was most likely that the artist knew for a solid fact that the wang and it's morphing paths would NEVER make it to a shipping game. This meant that any time spent modeling the penis was time spent on something that would not even make it to a portfolio. Working any significant time on stuff that will never be published, seen, or even reused really pisses creatives and programmers off. After the second or third request to tweak the dynamics of the penis as it goes from semi to full erect, suspecting this ridiculous bit of crap is probably just fueling some weird masturbation mechanic for Peter Populous, I would probably have brought up a stabbing as well. With perhaps some flaying and roasting thrown in for good measure.

Really gang. Don't fuck with your creatives. They will likely leave. And they just might end up making a better product.

Really?

Do you actually know how much stuff gets created for a videogame that never sees the light of day? An artist can still include something in his/her portfolio even if it never makes it into the final product, you know.

If you're the type to get snippy over something you've worked on never actually being released, than you shouldn't be in the videogame industry. It's just how thinks work.

I'm just painting a picture that makes the creative's side sound reasonable. If you're the type to get snippy over pointing out that this was way beyond the normal, "this will never get released but I can use a portfolio bit, at least," that creatives deal with, then you shouldn't be reading comments. It's just how things work.

 

[John Funk]

If this is true, I think I know exactly why that artist would go crazy.

It's not the part about modeling an ape wang. Trust me, computer professionals get asked to do that kind of shit every day.

It's not that Molyneux was a taskmaster or crazy guy to work for.

No, what made the guy allegedly threaten Peter with a knife was most likely that the artist knew for a solid fact that the wang and it's morphing paths would NEVER make it to a shipping game. This meant that any time spent modeling the penis was time spent on something that would not even make it to a portfolio. Working any significant time on stuff that will never be published, seen, or even reused really pisses creatives and programmers off. After the second or third request to tweak the dynamics of the penis as it goes from semi to full erect, suspecting this ridiculous bit of crap is probably just fueling some weird masturbation mechanic for Peter Populous, I would probably have brought up a stabbing as well. With perhaps some flaying and roasting thrown in for good measure.

Really gang. Don't fuck with your creatives. They will likely leave. And they just might end up making a better product.

Really?

Do you actually know how much stuff gets created for a videogame that never sees the light of day? An artist can still include something in his/her portfolio even if it never makes it into the final product, you know.

If you're the type to get snippy over something you've worked on never actually being released, than you shouldn't be in the videogame industry. It's just how thinks work.

I'm just painting a picture that makes the creative's side sound reasonable. If you're the type to get snippy over pointing out that this was way beyond the normal, "this will never get released but I can use a portfolio bit, at least," that creatives deal with, then you shouldn't be reading comments. It's just how things work.

Sorry, I should have been clear. The "if you're the type to get snippy, etc" bit was directed at a hypothetical artist/programmer/whoever whose work didn't make it into a final game, not you.

 

[SaintWaldo]

Sorry, I should have been clear. The "if you're the type to get snippy, etc" bit was directed at a hypothetical artist/programmer/whoever whose work didn't make it into a final game, not you.

Thanks for the target assist, I accept the apology. Views stated, air clear, ways parted.

 

[mrtenk]

Hm. Now I know why his parents named him Peter.

BAZING!