I heard on the news today that americans are boycotting scottish products due to the release of Abdel Baset al-Megrahi. I want to hear your views and also keep these in mind.
TLR many of the things you take for granted are scottish inventions. The next time the high and mighty americans want to look tough through boycotting, make sure you boycott all our inventions and national products.
EDIT: I take the news with a pinch of salt - many americans I have know or met seemed reasonable!
Road Travel
The pneumatic tyre, tarmac and the two stroke engine are all Scottish inventions and as such should be avoided. Unfortunately it is best if you don't cycle either as that was also invented by a Scotsman. For the time being please walk instead.
Television
Set down the remote control, unhook the cable and turn off the television set as its inventor was born in Helensburgh. I know it might be difficult, but think about all the time you will have free to do other things, just make sure you walk to them.
Communication
I urge you to please get the word out about this site and the Boycott, but do not telephone your loved ones or write to them (best to avoid postcards, fax & radio as well).
Bridges
Please do not use any of America's suspension bridges as their construction is due to another Scottish invention.
If you do have a suspension bridge in your area please consider contacting your local government official and demand its removal.
Finger Printing
Any American citizen convicted using finger print evidence should be pardoned immediately.
Medical
Moms to be, cancel that ultrasound. Kid taken a tumble down the stairs? Am sure they'll be ok, just ensure they don't have an MRI.
All diabetes sufferers should immediately cease all use of Insulin (its ok, you wouldn't have been able to inject it anyway)
If you are currently taking any of the following (or any other beta blocker) dispose of them;
* acebutolol
* bisoprolol
* esmolol
* propranolol
* atenolol
* labetalol
* carvedilol
* metoprolol
* nebivolol
and you'll have to find an alternative treatment for that unfortunate bout of syphilis
Cold beer
Remove all beverages from the fridge, a cooler will have to do. Just remember that every warm beer is bringing us one step closer to Scotland relenting. A reduction in liquid consumption might be a good thing as every patriotic American should remove the flush toilet from their bathroom.
Sport
While enjoying your warm FREEDOM? beer please petition your local government official to begin disbanding the American PGA (remember not to use the telephone, post, radio, fax or a computer - perhaps their office is within walking distance?) also you should urge Lance Armstrong to be a true all American and give up cycling.
The pneumatic tyre, tarmac and the two stroke engine are all Scottish inventions and as such should be avoided. Unfortunately it is best if you don't cycle either as that was also invented by a Scotsman. For the time being please walk instead.
Television
Set down the remote control, unhook the cable and turn off the television set as its inventor was born in Helensburgh. I know it might be difficult, but think about all the time you will have free to do other things, just make sure you walk to them.
Communication
I urge you to please get the word out about this site and the Boycott, but do not telephone your loved ones or write to them (best to avoid postcards, fax & radio as well).
Bridges
Please do not use any of America's suspension bridges as their construction is due to another Scottish invention.
If you do have a suspension bridge in your area please consider contacting your local government official and demand its removal.
Finger Printing
Any American citizen convicted using finger print evidence should be pardoned immediately.
Medical
Moms to be, cancel that ultrasound. Kid taken a tumble down the stairs? Am sure they'll be ok, just ensure they don't have an MRI.
All diabetes sufferers should immediately cease all use of Insulin (its ok, you wouldn't have been able to inject it anyway)
If you are currently taking any of the following (or any other beta blocker) dispose of them;
* acebutolol
* bisoprolol
* esmolol
* propranolol
* atenolol
* labetalol
* carvedilol
* metoprolol
* nebivolol
and you'll have to find an alternative treatment for that unfortunate bout of syphilis
Cold beer
Remove all beverages from the fridge, a cooler will have to do. Just remember that every warm beer is bringing us one step closer to Scotland relenting. A reduction in liquid consumption might be a good thing as every patriotic American should remove the flush toilet from their bathroom.
Sport
While enjoying your warm FREEDOM? beer please petition your local government official to begin disbanding the American PGA (remember not to use the telephone, post, radio, fax or a computer - perhaps their office is within walking distance?) also you should urge Lance Armstrong to be a true all American and give up cycling.
TLR many of the things you take for granted are scottish inventions. The next time the high and mighty americans want to look tough through boycotting, make sure you boycott all our inventions and national products.
EDIT: I take the news with a pinch of salt - many americans I have know or met seemed reasonable!