British Engineers Design Anti-Pirate Laser

[For.I.Am.Mad]

Ever see Black Hawk Down? If only they had green lasers.

 

[v3n0mat3]

I just wish other countries and private industries would ball up and finally let armed guards and other means of self-defense aboard vessels. What better way to deter them then to fight them with superior weapons? Somalian pirates have no real way of getting much more than the kinds of weapons they already have. And the way I see it: A 25mm cannon is far greater than a Laser that annoys them. They'll come back. With greater numbers. Though a laser effective range of 1km is nothing to scoff at.

 

[icame]

I got dissapointed when I read the non-lethal bit

 

[w00tage]

Up the wattage a bit and let them cut the boats in half. That would discourage the pirates pretty well too...

Why aren't shipping companies just using javelins? $75,000 is peanuts to them.

Because firing lethal ordinance at specs on the horizon is a great idea in a intensively used fishing zone with some busy trade lanes between them!

The reason the pirates get withing boarding range so often is because there's no way to differentiate between somebody selling fresh fish because foreign ships generally have no warlords on them to take your catch and murder you for not giving it freely and somebody after your random until they either point a trout* or a gun in your face.

*example because I don't know what they actually catch off the Horn of Africa.

Hey, once the other boat starts opening fire or throwing grappling hooks, then they can cut the boat in half.. That way they don't accidently hurt any innocents...

The problem is that by the time they're close enough to see the guns and RPGs they have pointed at you - they have guns and RPGs pointed at you. And RPGs are anti-TANK weapons. One hit and all of your passengers and crew are heading for the lifeboats, which is not an improvement over the "hostage on your own ship with all the passengers locked in the cabins" situation.

 

[Assassin Xaero]

Between this and the last bullet storm thing, the News Room has been hilarious today...

 

[Harkwell]

Non-lethal? I don't get equiping ships with non-lethal weapons when your enemies have rocket launchers.
Pirate 1: Hey! I can't see anything!
Pirate 2: Well, just shoot the rocket at the center of the light.
Pirate 1: Oh... I knew that.
Pirate 3: ARRRRG!

 

[Sovvolf]

Isn't this like the equivalent of shining a laser pen in someone's eye until you annoy them enough to leave?

Personally, I'd just have a few armed navy men on the boats just in case the shit gets real. That being said, Somalian pirates aren't the brainiest of the bunch, they've managed to perform acts as stupid as firing on naval ships full of well armed and well trained Marines thinking that it was a civilian ship.

So I don't think you'r going to be able to do much to deter them other than firing back.

 

[fanklok]

And here I thought they had invented an orbital doom laser that would shoot software pirates. That's way more awesome.

 

[v3n0mat3]

I just wish other countries and private industries would ball up and finally let armed guards and other means of self-defense aboard vessels. What better way to deter them then to fight them with superior weapons? Somalian pirates have no real way of getting much more than the kinds of weapons they already have. And the way I see it: A 25mm cannon is far greater than a Laser that annoys them. They'll come back. With greater numbers. Though a laser effective range of 1km is nothing to scoff at.

Wait we dont all have armed gaurds to fight them off ? Why ?!

Some countries (like China, Iran, Japan, etc. etc.) don't let weapons aboard ships when they enter a harbor. That and some companies just don't want to pay for the insurance costs for guards.

 

[zombie711]

whoa whoa whoa whoa, were the hecks my lazer cannon?

 

[Danik93]

and this is why pirates are better then ninjas, do you see anyone making an anti ninja laser?

Ninjas are better than Pirates... why? everybody nows it's useless to try to build a ninja laser... you can't see them anyway. Pirates are easy targets!

 

[Monshroud]

Up the wattage a bit and let them cut the boats in half. That would discourage the pirates pretty well too...

Why aren't shipping companies just using javelins? $75,000 is peanuts to them.

Because firing lethal ordinance at specs on the horizon is a great idea in a intensively used fishing zone with some busy trade lanes between them!

The reason the pirates get withing boarding range so often is because there's no way to differentiate between somebody selling fresh fish because foreign ships generally have no warlords on them to take your catch and murder you for not giving it freely and somebody after your random until they either point a trout* or a gun in your face.

*example because I don't know what they actually catch off the Horn of Africa.

Hey, once the other boat starts opening fire or throwing grappling hooks, then they can cut the boat in half.. That way they don't accidently hurt any innocents...

The problem is that by the time they're close enough to see the guns and RPGs they have pointed at you - they have guns and RPGs pointed at you. And RPGs are anti-TANK weapons. One hit and all of your passengers and crew are heading for the lifeboats, which is not an improvement over the "hostage on your own ship with all the passengers locked in the cabins" situation.

Well you forget, if the Pirate use their weapons and start killing people, then the Militaries of the world get involved again, and the last time that happened it didn't turn out well for the pirates. Pirates are using the threat of violence rather than violence because there are people with much bigger guns out there, who don't bother asking for ransom, they just kill you.

Besides if one side uses the RPG and the other uses the laser, at least you can all go down together. Also depending on the type of ship being attacked, most of them can stay afloat and keep moving with a big hole in them, while the skiffs tend to become aquarium decoration.

 

[Twilight_guy]

If you get a red one of these Superman would be powerless.

This just seem corny, they really think an annoying laser is going to ward off pirates? I think they'll ignore it.

 

[General BrEeZy]

Green Sun, sounds like a wicked Band Name!

 

[badgersprite]

LASERS

Yes, I know there was important stuff going on in this article but LASERS

I sincerely hope the Brits' next step is to fight the war on crime with lightsabers.

 

[MGlBlaze]

And so the Brittish continue their proud history of fighting pirates.

 

[Woodsey]

"Of course, the beam could easily be overcome by simply wearing the right color of safety goggles, but I can't imagine those are easy to find in Somalia."

Unless, of course, the pirates have just raided a ship importing the coloured goggles required to remain unaffected by the laser.

Of course, then you're in "teh shit".

 

[Thyunda]

So.. rather then use the smart solution- use relatively cheap old merchant gunboats from WW2 that could be refurbished and give a pirate who points so much as a crowbar with so much explosive shell that they would be shitting shrapnel for weeks if they weren't obliterated, they instead decide to stick a big laser pointer on the end.

Really britain? This isn't that cool. If I wanted to build a Giant laser pointer I could.

Hell, the laser pointer itself is probably worth plenty of money. I can already see the headline "Giant laser pointer stolen by pirates- actual worth estimated to be higher then that of goods and lives on ship."

I mean seriously? Why not put a fucking sign that says "Rob me I'm incredibly wealthy" over the ships while your at it, and carpet bomb the area with pound notes. I will go with my relatively inexpensive utilize old ships designed to kill things and transport things.

Also, if your a damn fisherman, and start paddling up towards the deck of a huge ship while inside pirate infested waters, you deserve to be blown to hell. Your stupid might be contagious.

Thought I'd fix that for you. Also, you'll find that the laser works in a completely different way than you're implying. If the laser has the effect the Sun does, the pirates can't even look in the direction of the boat. It's fairly difficult to aim at a target if the target is as bright as the Sun.

And your opinion on killing fishermen is rather...uneducated. What if your boat gets caught out at sea, and you have an injured crewman? It's only sensible to get the attention of a passing ship, especially a cargo vessel with huge crew numbers, since they're more likely to have qualified first aiders or working radio equipment.
But, nope, your opinion - kill them. Aren't you a ray of sunshine?

 

[michael_ab]

there are already other devices made for this, although they have a much more limited range. theres an audio one, essentially screaming at them using directional sound, again a "deterrant". then they actually have one that shoots microwaves at them, if we were to combine all three we would have a device that could have full sensory depraviation within the lowest distance (the microwave)

 

[theriddlen]

Hahaha! Yeah, i see will happen.
Pirates get annoyed, board the laser ship, take all of the crew as hostages and mount the laser on their ship (or acquire the boarded one). Good job, now the non-pirates will get blinded and pirate's job will be even easier!