Can we talk about the "friend zone" and "nice guys" for a moment?

cobra_ky

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Adultism said:
But don't always assume that all guys are like that. Its just like how we sometimes judge certain women who look like they put out much. But some guys don't do that often.
This is also a really shitty thing that guys do, btw.
 

Darius Brogan

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cobra_ky said:
Adultism said:
But don't always assume that all guys are like that. Its just like how we sometimes judge certain women who look like they put out much. But some guys don't do that often.
This is also a really shitty thing that guys do, btw.
There are a lot of shitty things guys do, and there's an equal amount of shitty things girls do.

In fact, most of them are the same things.

There's a lot of shitty things people do.
 

tobyornottoby

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blackrave said:
Eventually I realized that she simply seeks someone to dump her emotions on
That's why status of "The Nice Guy" isn't worth it
If you're only doing it to pursue a relationship then yeah, no.
 

tobyornottoby

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Jimbo1212 said:
True, but all that means is that these people make bad decisions due to the volatile emotional state. That is a reason, but not a justification.
Not necessarily bad decisions if one decision leads to both the higher ups and lower downs. It becomes a choice then, depending on your preferences which you're more inclined towards.

Jimbo1212 said:
Here is the issue;
Many guys I know who call themselves "nice guys" are utter tramps and as you say, live on the moto of letting themselves go as they are a "nice guy".
But they are not "nice guys". They are immature and some what weak, and these are the type of people I am specifically not talking about.

When I say someone is a nice guy, I mean just that; a guy who is friendly, intelligent, average to good looking, fashionable, in shape etc - a nice guy.

How fat women have stolen the word "curvy" to now describe being fat, pussies have stolen the phrase "nice guy".
Yeah that's true, one of the difficulties in this discussion is differentiating between nice guys and "Nice Guys".

Jimbo1212 said:
Ok, what is the difference in purpose? This is what I don't understand.
What I look for in a gf is someone who is attractive, ambitious, nice etc. This never changes. I don't change what I want or have different types.
So how does bf material differ from marriage material?
At it's core, it goes back to wanting someone who's strong and dominant to have kids with and someone who's reliable to settle down with.
 

BrionJames

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I agree, if someone was just being friends with you to get close to you in hopes to get involved in a romantic relationship, whoever refuses the advances, isn't a bastard/asshole/*****. However, saying, "I wish I could find a guy like you.", is pretty goddam misleading. Please try to communicate clearly your feelings, "I wish I could find a guy who has the specific traits I'm looking for." is quite clear on what your trying to state. Paying compliments and complaining about your love life are two things that should never be mojo'd up into the same sentence
 

xXAsherahXx

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You'll have to remind me why it isn't irritating to be in the friend zone. It sucks. I don't break communication but it still blows.
 

Bobby Carless

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Hmm, its a very interesting discussion and I'd like to offer my two cents on the issues. Having been friendzoned before, I can sympathize and understand why it happens, but the reasons for the frustration of the dudes is simple.

We've always been told that "if you put effort in, you get dividends", which is why when a guy gets friendzoned after putting so much 'investment' in (doing her favours, talking on the phone, fb, etc) it can be really frustrating to feel like you've been wasting your time. The fact that some girls are masters of the mixed message doesn't help.

That's why I chase after three girls at a time these days (I'm a uni student), if I get friendzoned by one of them... not the end of the world. Backups! Besides, its not cheating if I'm not in a relationship, right?

Nice guys? Bet they don't get laid very much, but they probably have longer lasting relationships when they do.
 

azzair

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I've never been friend-zoned and I'm a nice guy... I don't really get the problem tbh. If you like a girl and she doesn't like you back, well to bad. You move on. This doesn't mean you have to stop being her friend... not at all.

However, "I'd like someone like you"????
Now, that does not make sense... at all... and comparing us to shoes?
What is it about the guy you like but don't like at the same time? Is he not ripped enough? Is he not smart enough?
Meh, I'm sure you have your reason. But you have to understand, saying this to someone who you know likes you must be VERY frustrating. It gives them hope that someday you'll come around even if you never do. It's basically dragging him along the ride with no possible happy ending for him...

Guys who complain about the friend-zone are pathetic. Girls who string guys along by saying things like, "I hope I find someone like you," are bitches.
That's the way I see it.
 

Insanely Asinine

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Grey Day for Elcia said:
Isn't there a thread about this exact topic every week?

Ugh.
Yes there is and it will always end the same. That being the us.vs.them mentality. So they can hate someone and something without trying to fix the said problem. Complaining about the problem and not searching for a solution.
 

Grey Day for Elcia

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Ace Verret said:
Grey Day for Elcia said:
Isn't there a thread about this exact topic every week?

Ugh.
Yes there is and it will always end the same. That being the us.vs.them mentality. So they can hate someone and something without trying to fix the said problem. Complaining about the problem and not searching for a solution.
The worst part is the self described "nice guys" basically say this in every thread: "I was nice to her and she won't let me have sex with her. I wasted my time." You ever seen a supposed nice guy actually behave like a real friend? Lol.
 

Insanely Asinine

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Grey Day for Elcia said:
Ace Verret said:
Grey Day for Elcia said:
Isn't there a thread about this exact topic every week?

Ugh.
Yes there is and it will always end the same. That being the us.vs.them mentality. So they can hate someone and something without trying to fix the said problem. Complaining about the problem and not searching for a solution.
The worst part is the self described "nice guys" basically say this in every thread: "I was nice to her and she won't let me have sex with her. I wasted my time." You ever seen a supposed nice guy actually behave like a real friend? Lol.
I say let them complain, let them whine, let them think they are in the right. Why because they will eventually be forced to learn. What they learn is up for interpretation. If they don't learn. Good, they will die alone.
 

Simeon Ivanov

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I'm tired of this whole "Friendzone" thing. Guys are starting to sound like women - "That selfish *****! How DARE she not like me? All women are bitches!" ...

Enough, you whiny douchebags! No one wants to listen to your problems! Be a man and move on with your life
 

Uncreation

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Ugh, this whole mess again. The way i dealt whith this once and for all was to just stop pursuing romantic relationships with other people. It's just not worth it for me. Now i just go on with my life, and try to live it as well as i can and just do my own things (work, hobbies, my own happiness, etc.) without bothering with getting a girlfriend. If one comes along, then it's even better, if not, then that's ok as well. I'm not going to go through the whole horror of trying to find a mate.
Seems like i am a bit late to the party though... Oh, well, no big deal, threads like these are a dime a dozen. :)
 

dragonburner

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Feb 21, 2009
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Well I understand that a girl can just not like you, but you still sort of selfishly wish you did and I think that is ok. It's not wrong to want things you can't have. It's also fair to like someone who is your friend. Just becoming friends in order for it to become a relationship is a shallow thing to do, but if you develop feelings for your friend, requited or otherwise, that's fine.
 

blackrave

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tobyornottoby said:
blackrave said:
Eventually I realized that she simply seeks someone to dump her emotions on
That's why status of "The Nice Guy" isn't worth it
If you're only doing it to pursue a relationship then yeah, no.
It's not worth it even if you pursue her happiness