Coloured men don't cheat - *UPDATED* 29/10/11

[SonOfVoorhees]

Apart from being wrong and racist comment, is this her naive opinion based on religious views? Islamic religion is very popular in Arab or African countries. But this also wouldn't stop cheating, its all down to the persons morals or feelings. Yes they have different views and beliefs on family issues but doesn't mean they all are. Arab men are known to be tough on woman and their place in the kitchen and less tolerant on womans rights based on culture and religion. African men, depending on where they are from, can still kill, rape and cheat as well as any other person as well as a high chance they have aids....Africa is a cess pit of HIV. These comments i wrote are generalizations based on fact.....not something i would used to judge a person just because they happen to be born there.

Yes some men cheat. Some may just be nice to you to sleep with you. Or maybe they just saw your relationship as a casual thing and you took it more seriously. Either way i think its the type of men you chose to date as the reason you seem to keep picking "cheaters". If you date an arsehole.....dont be surprised if he acts like one.

 

[Nimcha]

I have a feeling your sister is trying to justify a fetish she doesn't understand or something.

Hah, I had the exact same thought. She probably just has a preference but doesn't know for what reason, so she makes one up.

 

[The-Epicly-Named-Man]

It should be obvious that any form of generalisation through ethnic or racial grouping is always, inevitably wrong

 

[Tsaba]

maybe your sister should listen to this little thing called rap music, they glorify the crap out of cheating, I'm just saying what everyone else already knows. I think those that do cheat are dogs of men though.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Studies and statistics mean nothing to the individual...

And besides, here in Britain, the stereotype goes that black youths in hoodies are delinquents... but that goes for whites and Asians... It's not exclusively black males, nor is it female...

I don't think it's a matter of race that determines if they are going to be a delinquent, because black, white, asian, male, females have the capacity to act as stupidly as each other.

I suggest you watch Either Kidulthood, Adulthood, Shank or Sket. You can just watch the trailers, it gives a hard hitting reality check on the crime conducted by young people in London. And if you are observant, you will realize that while there are black cast members, there also a lot of white members.

I certainly don't think that it's anything to do with race, I think it's to do with genes, and the way that they where brought up that defines people. Which is unfortunate for the black community in Britain, because a high number of them are brought up in poverty, or dangerous societies. I know this sort of deviates from the point, but it gives the message I want to bring across... It's nothing to do with race...

 

[Custard_Angel]

Here you go:

Tiger Woods.

Bam. Shut down in 2 words.

Not only did he abuse his position as a husband, he abused his position as a father, a sportsperson and a public figure.

 

[Kavic86]

Here is more evidence to the case she is a few tree's short of a forest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBIJKmcsGQE

 

[JohnDoey]

That is Single most idiotic thing anyone has ever uttered.

 

[Amplify]

Just to clarify a little, I care about her and want the best for her but personally I do think she's a fool for her little policy. I'm not even 100% sure if that is her "true" reason for it but it's the one I've gotten out of her.

Now, I'd like to hopefully talk some sense into her if at all possible. I know she trusts what I say but this is primarily because she knows that I don't say anything on a whim, I always check my facts and if at all possible back up what I say with evidence of some kind.

Mind you; this is a woman who married a guy from Algeria so that he could get into the country, had two daughters with him who spent a decade there most of that time with her daughters and learning Arabic while their father lived in England, came back to England, divorced him, went through a dozen different (muslims? Islamic? unsure of the proper term here) and black guys in the space of a month that she brought back to my living room (which is when I first asked about her dating habits), went back to the first guy and now sees him again on and off. OhgodIdon'tevenknow.

But in short I need something I can say or show to her to back my words up, I've yet to give her a response on the matter because I didn't actually know for sure if it was true or not without hard evidence to back it up. If I don't have the facts, I won't speak.

*snip*

What the hell got her to think this?
People cheat on their partner, color has nothing to do with it.

I wish I knew, it may be she had some sort of a bad relationship experience when she was younger but I've never pried too deeply into that.

I have seen many episodes of Maury Povich and Jerry Springer that would disagree with this assertion.

That's really more my mother's specialty than mine, but is there any good particular clip or episode of it you could recommend on youtube?

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

I'd think the increased HIV/AIDS rates in blacks would paint a different picture, honestly.

I mean, there's no one reason HIV gets spread, so you cant attribute it all to sex, but one of the MAJOR causes of the prevalence of HIV in blacks in the States is sex. And if you think they're all getting it from monogamous partnerships, you're damn naive.

"You" being in the general sense, not "you" specifically.

It's hard to say this stuff without risking coming off as racist. Which is ironic, because I get called "PC" all the time on here from people who don't understand what Political Correctness actually is. So apparently I'm both overly defensive of minorities and racist. Or whatever.

Anyway, whatever the evangelicals are telling you, you don't get HIV just for being a sinner. If all black people (or even all black men) were monogamous, it would be a HUGE inhibitor to the spread of HIV. Not a preventative, since it's still possible for the spread through sex, and there's always drug use, etc., but it would cut out one of the MAJOR risk factors.

I don't know about any other racial background. I've never looked into the fidelity of people by colour, and I don't really care to. Blacks are at the highest risk for HIV infections out of any "racial" group in this country, and I'd be curious to see what her rebuttal is to that alone.

I mean, the only response I can think of is that "they all use drugs," and that's racist, stupid, and just plain wrong.

HIV rates is a good point, I'll have to point that out to her when I do talk to her about this. Of course I'll need to check a few facts first but yeah.

...Wow. "Coloured?" Really? You couldn't think of anything better to name this topic?

It's a direct quote of her words, not mine. Hence the title.

To be honest, I think it's garbage she's feeding you to mask the fact that she believes that colored people have BBCs and she just wants some. Make sense to me. "I like them big, but I don't want you to know that, so I'll just say that colored people don't cheat! That seems much more appropriate!"

It could well be, but that's what I have to work with here and I can't really say any differently unless I can prove otherwise.

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

Ask your sister (no offence please please) did she made it with EVERY black male on the Earth ?
Just curious.

I spent a month where most of the time if I went to my kitchen, I was likely to pass by her on the couch with a huge black guy with dreadlocks, a guy complete with bling who could have told me he was 50 Cent and I'd probably have believed him, an extra straight out of "Don't mess with the Zohan", etc. Sure feels like it.

its like saying white men will not seal your bike

Ok yeah, you got a chuckle out of me there.

Don't state things as fact unless there is actually a valid reason to believe that is is a fact.

Which is exactly why I'm looking for evidence to refute her right now. I didn't want to tell her before as it'd just be my opinion rather than a fact and I'm definitely not an expert on the matter.

*snip*

Honestly, you don't need statistics to prove her wrong. Her argument is basically that all (or even most) white men will cheat while men of other races will never cheat. Or in other words, 100% of white men cheat while 100% of other men never cheat.

Such a statement of certainty about the whole of diverse populations is complete nonsense on the face of it. If she actually believes this then she is unquestionably an idiot, and frankly, you have no need to even try to prove her wrong. Either challenge her to prove what she says has any validity, or simply wait for her to be (almost inevitably) proven wrong.

But if you really want evidence, then how about something fairly recent that I'm sure she's probably heard about: Tiger Woods. Enough said.

She took / let her daughters be taken to Algeria for over a decade of their childhood so that they could "learn Arabic", I really don't need evidence that she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. However, she's my sister and I do care about her so if I can talk her out of being an idiot then fantastic. Tiger Woods is a great example though, I'd forgotten about him so thanks for that.

Question! The hell do you care? No, really. So she only wants to date colored men, what's the problem? Do you really think showing her a bunch of stats and proof is going to do anything other than get her to respond "Way to be racists, asshole!"

Because she will listen to what I say when she won't even listen to our mother or anybody else, If I can persuade some sense into her life then fantastic but this subject in particular I'm not qualified to talk to anybody about unless I get some of the facts first. I'd rather try and talk her out of it than see her get hurt at some point down the line because of it.

Also please... don't use the word coloured. Like the word 'half-caste' a lot of people still use it because they've been brought up using it like it's not a problem, but it gets a lot of people's backs up. After all, you're not pure white and colourless, are you? You're pinky orange. (Unless you're an albino, perhaps, but you get my point.) Some black and Asian people might not mind, or use it themselves, but the ones who do mind REALLY mind.

I'll try to if possible, it's just the title was a direct quote. 'half-caste' though is one I've never heard of before, primarily due to having always previously steered clear of the topic of racism and political-correctness like the plague.

----------------------

That's what I have to reply to from the first page at least, felt I should post this much before I consider making it any longer.

 

[DanielDeFig]

Let's talk a little bit about the continent of Africa (Almost entirely 'coloured'), and a (relatively) recent revelation that "outsiders" made, while working to combat HIV/AIDS.

I spent a lot of my childhood in Africa, so I came across lots of stories from there. A recent one, when I was visiting my parents in Kenya, was about a recent discovery that shed some light on the unusually fast transmission spread of the virus, compared to "western" countries. Basically, most African countries have a mainly Christian population, and therefore the people there are mainly monogamous (Despite the prevalence of polygamy in most pre-colonial African traditions). Despite this however, almost everyone in these communities has a "spare wheel". A spare wheel is the term used for having an affair on the side, alongside your "official" relationship. Also, it seems like it was a "everyone knows" situations, so whether an individual was open a bout their non-official relationship or not, everybody eventually found out.(Whether they knew who specifically or not. A spouse will notice when their partner goes out at strange time and/or comes up with strange/ridiculous excuses)
The interesting thing about these spare wheels was partly that unlike in western culture, where people who have affairs, have several temporary ones, while these "Spare wheels" were long-lasting relationships. The main problem was the consequence of EVERYONE having a "Spare wheel", as it meant the spread of the HIV virus could spread to a whole town within a few nights.

Aside from this interesting side-story involving HIV/AIDS awareness, my main point remains: Whether a person is faithful or not, has NOTHING to do with the colour of their skin. NOTHING!!!! Each person is different.
Yes, some cultures are more religious than others. Yes, some religions/cultures demand more faithfulness than others. Guess what? These Christian African countries I was referring to, are VERY religious (without being extremists. They still usually believe the Bible is fact). But that doesn't stop them from openly defying that very strong cultural/religious pressure to stay monogamous.

 

[The Bandit]

I got the idea that it's a bit of a culture amongst young black and Asian guys to see women, particularly white women who their parents may not approve of, as meat, especially due to the portrayal of women in hip-hop culture, which is primarily followed by young black people and a lot of young Asian people.

White consumers make up a larger majority of rap album sales than black consumers.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

I can't wait for her to find out that she is wrong... I also like that she is calling you a cheater, assuming you too are white. Unless, it is specifically men and whiteness that creates the infidelity magic. Oh wait...

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I just cover all my bases by not trusting anyone. It's a ridiculous assumption that someones race will affect their fidelity.

Oddly I find myself attracted to bad guys becuase I know what they are like and I won't be dissapointed. Such ridiculous logic from my hormones and brain there.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

That is a direct quote from my (white English) sister as to the reason why she only dates Arabic, African & similar men. She is adamant that white men are going to cheat on their spouse / partner while coloured men will not.

How true is this statement to you, fellow escapists? If it turns out to be true, fine. If it's untrue, then I'll have evidence I can present to her as a result of this thread.


So I ask you all:
Do you have any surveys or statistics or studies or similar that show how often relationships with coloured men end due to infidelity? Alternately do you have any stories from a friend where a coloured guy was caught cheating or similar?

Alternately escapist girls; do you have any personal stories where a coloured guy was caught cheating on you or similar?


Thanks for any replies, everybody.

Tell her to expect all men to cheat, cause I have friends of the colured side who was known to cheat and knock girls up and leave. It's a man thing

 

[beniki]

Some people have just very odd beliefs that they hold true, no matter what. I knew a guy that would argue against anyone that black people could run faster because they had an extra leg muscle.

Not really. Kenyans can keep up their initial burst of speed longer because of increased lung capacity though. They live at higher altitudes than most people so their lungs adapt. A lot of athletes spend time in pressure tanks now to get the same effect. Interestingly enough, higher altitude also means thinner air, which is the reason why so many jumping records were broken at the 1968 Mexico Olympics.

But I digress.

Your sister be tripping.

 

[Toaster Hunter]

Generalizations like that are just plain stupid. Just mention Tiger Woods and move on.

 

[Daveman]

Why doesn't she just not date dickheads?

 

[Blunderboy]

When are people going to realize that nothing is ever true of every member of a race/religion/country?

Not true.

Every black person is black and every white person is white, right?

Shallow differences, but differences nontheless.

You were saying?

 

[ultimateownage]

Just wait until she gets cheated on.

 

[repeating integers]

Generalizations like that are just plain stupid. Just mention Tiger Woods and move on.

Yeah, I wonder how she'd react if you mentioned that guy.

Has she just had bad experiences with white boyfriends or something?