Consenting to Sex

[TheJim]

Also, to the guy banging on about "Before you have sex get consent and a signed document and a third party witness on a video"

You must have extremely boring sex if you are being genuinely serious.

Just sayin'

And to those of you who think I'm an arsehole for anything I've said, I'm just being honest. I realise how my post about wanting to have sex with loads of girls may make me seem like a dick, but I always make it perfectly clear that I'm not looking for commitment before engaging in anything, so it's all good, clean fun and no one gets hurt.

 

[TheJim]

Keep thinking of new things to say. When I get involved with something my mind goes into overdrive and I get really passionate about anything I have a strong opinion on.

But yeah, believe it or not, in some ways I'm quite old fashioned. For example, I have had sex with my girlfriend while unbelievably fucked out of my skull sort of drunk (on a boat in Greence haha) and her perfectly sober. While I remember it and also remember definitely wanting it, if it had been the other way around, with her drunk and me sober, it would have felt far too weird and I wouldn't have done it. That's how many people think, but it is, in reality, double standards, and to factor that way of thinking into legislation is very unfair.

 

[b3nn3tt]

Luckily, the way it works in the UK justice system is that the person making the accusation has to prove it, rather than the defendant having to DISPROVE it. There can be no conviction if there is reasonable doubt.

While it is very difficult to convict somebody of rape, due to the lack of reasonable doubt etc, the accusation itself is often more than enough to seriously damage somebody's reputation, possibly costing them friends and their job. Now, if the accusation was true, then this is all well and good, but very often people are falsely acused of rape, and that can seriously damage someone's life

The fact is, that because it is so difficult to prove rape, many people assume that if somebody goes free, it is because rape couldn't be proved, rather than that they are innocent

 

[astrav1]

The way I see it, it is the persons fault that they are drunk, if they regret it later then too bad for their stupid ass.

Of course I myself would never do anything of the sort. It's too ungentlemanly.

 

[TheJim]

Yeah, they made the decision to be drunk. Not to have sex. It's definitely rape, and they shouldn't be punished in such a horrific way for going a bit overboard on the drink.

Imagine you forgot to lock your house. Do you therefore DESERVE to be burgled?

 

[Arawn.Chernobog]

...like I stated above you'd have to be a really desperate bastard to do someone clearly drunk or incapacitated (and it's basically borderline rape) but it's also the drunk's fault for being a bloody idiot and getting themselves pissed in the first place.

Excuse me, "basically borderline?" What's borderline about having sex with someone who is clearly confused or unconscious? It may be irresponsible to get that drunk, but that does NOT make it "the drunk's fault" that he or (let's face it, we really mean) she got raped. That's like saying it's partly your fault you got mugged because you shouldn't have been in that part of town late at night--no, you shouldn't have been there, but you didn't mug yourself. Any rape, including the rape of someone whose judgement is impaired, is the fault of the rapist, plain & simple. Some people have a messed-up sense of blame distribution.

But I agree on one point--how could someone be so desperate to rape a drunk person? People are so much more attractive when they can move & figure out what's going on around them.

Wow mate, read the full post ;]

I'm not saying it's the drunk's fault that said drunk was abused, I'm saying it's the drunk's fault that he/she got drunk in the first place, the abuser is fully responsible for the sexual harassment succeeding that scenario.

Two lessons kids:
1 - Don't get yourself pissed, it's not fun and it doesn't make you more charming or attractive;
2 - Don't try to bone people that are pissed, it's rape.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Yeah, they made the decision to be drunk. Not to have sex. It's definitely rape, and they shouldn't be punished in such a horrific way for going a bit overboard on the drink.

Imagine you forgot to lock your house. Do you therefore DESERVE to be burgled?

If someone decides to get that drunk, I'm sorry, but they should be held responsible for their own actions. If they consent to sex while under the influence, it should not be considered rape. You might think it is a bad thing for someone to do, but no one forced them to get drunk and no one forced them to have sex.

In short, if someone takes advantage of someone while under the influence they are a jerk but not a rapist in my eyes.

As for your question, it's a completely different issue. You don't deserve to be burgled, because you haven't given permission for someone to take your stuff. If you left your house unlocked and said to someone "yes, you can take my stuff" then you can't complain when they take your stuff. It's the same thing here: if you agree to have sex with someone, then you can't complain when they have sex with you (unless you change your mind part way through).

 

[TheJim]

Yeah, snip

If someone decides to get that drunk, I'm sorry, but they should be held responsible for their own actions. If they consent to sex while under the influence, it should not be considered rape. You might think it is a bad thing for someone to do, but no one forced them to get drunk and no one forced them to have sex.

In short, if someone takes advantage of someone while under the influence they are a jerk but not a rapist in my eyes.

As for your question, it's a completely different issue. You don't deserve to be burgled, because you haven't given permission for someone to take your stuff. If you left your house unlocked and said to someone "yes, you can take my stuff" then you can't complain when they take your stuff. It's the same thing here: if you agree to have sex with someone, then you can't complain when they have sex with you (unless you change your mind part way through).

Dude that was the EXACT point i was making, if they were TOO DRUNK TO GIVE CONSENT.