Corupt a wish foundation.

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but then Superman reverse rotates the earth again and you end up back where you started and incomplete assignment on the due date.


I wish time would go by a bit faster

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, by "a little" faster, you made monday into tuesday, wednesday into august, and september the end of the world!
(cookie for who knows where that is from)

I wish i had the powers to alter anything's form.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but you turn all metal into guns and they fire 10 rounds at you and you die like RoboCop.


I wish i had all the money in the world

 

[oppp7]

Ok but it's in Monopoly money.
I wish I, along with every other living being, was sent to Hell to be tortured in the worst possible way for all eternity.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, it just so happens that god got bored and waged war on hell, god wins and steals everything to be his play toy.

I wish i could meet anyone anytime anywhere.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but then a glitch happens and you end up meeting a completely insane Charles Manson and Bill Moseley both fully armed and you're in a room full of deathtraps.

I wish people stopped getting worked up over extremely petty things

 

[oppp7]

Ok, but everything is in red now.
I wish for a garage.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, a glitch happens and you end up meeting a ramsquid and you die.

I wish i never asked for piano lessons.

 

[oppp7]

You now asked for beluga lessons.

I wish I had a knife.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but the blade is extremely dull and rusty and breaks when you try and stab your first victim.

I wish i had fur.

 

[oppp7]

Ok but it's too long.
I wish for a pitchfork.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but you trip over a rock trying to scoop a bale of straw and end up poking out your eyes.

I wish for steel-lined dental floss

 

[oppp7]

You cut your gums.

I wish for an ant.

 

[Rah-Gashapon]

Granted, the ant is poisonous and calls for the entire nest and they bite you.

I wish for a mansion.

 

[oppp7]

It burned down.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted, you end up wishing you could divide by zero and are thus sucked through a black hole into an negative dimension for all eternity.

I wish for all my enemies to be vaporized.

 

[oppp7]

And you inhale their ashes, making you cough violently.
I wish for gold.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

You end up melting it in a fire, turning them into golden genitals and then you break those.

I wish for new hats

 

[oppp7]

Ok, but it's an overdone joke.

Speaking of which, I wish for a Weegee.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Granted but the Weegee ends up breaking your skin and you bleed to death.


I wish for more comfortable elastic in my underwear