Could you be attracted to a bisexual?

Burnswell

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Bisexual doesn't mean "not monogamous" so if that's what you're looking for there's no conflict. The whole idea of labels for sexual types gets a bit ridiculous anyway. What percentage of the population do you actually find yourself attracted to? I find perhaps a subsection of the opposite sex actually attractive, in a having a emotional reaction to them way as opposed to knowing what attractive is supposed to mean culturally. If I only find 5% of women actually appealing (which is still a lot of people) and found no men appealing, does that mean I'm 97.5% asexual or am I heterosexual?

Sorry, in short bisexuality doesn't have any effect on a relationship. It's if your partner wants an open relationship that is the issue which you seem to be assuming, and this is where it's important that you communicate what kind of exclusivity you are looking for.
Bisexual people get happily married to one person all the time and stay entirely monogomous, just like hetero people.

The question sounds similar to saying "my partner said he/she likes both skinny and fat people, should I go out with them?"
It's not about needing both, its about not caring about that part of a potential partner.
 

CloudAtlas

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Yes, but I'm a guy,
cthulhuspawn82 said:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot")
That's how I remember the general opinion to be as well, and I'm afraid that for all my tolerance, I'm not much different.
 

Darken12

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It would be highly hypocritical of me to say no, considering I am one.

Having said that, my best friend IS prejudiced against bisexuals, and he's gay (it's one of those touchy issues every friendship has). I've slowly been making him understand that no, bisexuals are not any likelier to cheat on you just because they're bisexual, and yes, most bisexuals are perfectly fine with settling into long-term monogamy with a single partner, and no, they will not necessarily push for threesomes with members of the opposite gender, and no, not all bisexuals are douchebags who pretend they're straight and will be ashamed of you or put their social status before you, and aaaaaargh [incoherent gargling with rage].

It's a slow process.

But believe me, biphobia and prejudice exist everywhere, even among people who are supposed to accept us as kindred spirits.
 

trollnystan

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Dec 27, 2010
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cthulhuspawn82 said:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot")
CloudAtlas said:
Yes, but I'm a guy,
cthulhuspawn82 said:
That's how I remember the general opinion to be as well, and I'm afraid that for all my tolerance, I'm not much different.
The question that the OP put to us was if we would date a bisexual, NOT if we'd be ok with said bisexual cheating on us with a member of their own gender (if we're straight) or opposite (if we're gay).

I, a straight female, think guy-on-guy action is pretty darn hot, but that doesn't mean I'd be ok with my fella cheating on me with another guy. If we had an open relationship that would be different but I doubt I could have one of those.
 

Boris Goodenough

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I think I already am, although she's not very interested in trying that side of herself out.

Captcha: it is enough
 

Wintermute_v1legacy

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Could I be attracted to a b... what? From a straight male perspective, is that even a question?

The answer is yes actually, that's a question. A friend of mine is bisexual, she's had adventures on both sides, but she's been with this guy for 2 years or so now, and he doesn't like the idea of seeing her with another woman. HE'S TOTALLY GAY, RIGHT?

Anyway, as for me, if my hypothetical bisexual girlfriend told me she wanted to reenact that sexy scene from Black Swan, I wouldn't object.
 

Trueflame

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Why would that be a problem? The only scenario where I would have an issue with it is if I was going out with this person for a while, and then she suddenly revealed that she may be bisexual, as that would either mean that she kept that from me initially, or is unhappy with me and looking to pursue other interests. Those two scenarios aside, I can't imagine ever having a problem with it. If anything, that would be a desirable factor.
 

Zantos

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Lieju said:
I'm quite tired of being told to 'grow up and get a boyfriend', or 'why would you choose to be gay?'
Just thinking about a friend of mine, he has the most fantastic answer to 'Why would you choose to be gay?'. After years of trying to explain the usual 'It isn't a choice. Why are you so against people being happy?' he now simply answers 'It's like a hard mode for life. The enemies are more difficult, but you get loads more exp for it.'. He says it completely deadpan, the first time I heard it I sprayed an entire mouthful of lager out of my nose.

OT: Another of the straight white male brigade coming in to ruin this party with our vehement interest in women and only women. I'm going to give this a no, with a but. I'm monogamous, I only enter into monogamous relationships, it's something that gets established right at the beginning to ensure there's no misunderstandings later on. So after that, if she's straight or bi doesn't really come into aside from the occasional 'She's hot.' 'Totally.'. So it really doesn't make any tangible difference as far as I'm concerned. The but was an occurrence where my girlfriend at the time told me she was bi. She decided to do it by waiting til we both had a bit to drink then saying "I want to have sex with *female friend*". Man of the world today me would have probably said "What a coincidence, me too! But let's not." However 17 year old first relationship me just got upset. So, yeah, phrasing.
 

JemothSkarii

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Nov 9, 2010
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Well, I'm dating a pansexual so...sure? I guess? I'm pretty sure this falls into it. As long as she doesn't go flirting to other girls/guys and talking about them 24/7 (unlike my ex, who was also a pansexual, but in hindsight I think it was for 'I live in Texas so LOOK AT ME' factor...no offense to Texans, memory says that you guys are rather anti gay...).

In fact I've never dated a straight girl...huh...so yeah I'm cool with it. Though in my experience they generally go crazy or start to crave others attentions. This one's been 9 months though, so I've got high hopes.
 

CloudAtlas

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trollnystan said:
The question that the OP put to us was if we would date a bisexual, NOT if we'd be ok with said bisexual cheating on us with a member of their own gender (if we're straight) or opposite (if we're gay).
My intention was not to make suggestions about cheating. Just saying that, on balance, if you ask men how they'd find it if their girlfriend was bisexual, they'd probably entertain this thought more positively than if you ask women about boyfriends.
 

JemothSkarii

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cthulhuspawn82 said:
I think males are more likely to respond positively on this because of the "two girls are hot" mentality. I don't believe girls think that way (i.e. "two guys would be hot") they are more of a monogamous bunch.

The only way I could imagine it making someone uncomfortable is if it makes you feel as if you alone cant fully satisfy your partner. Once again, that's not a problem for guys. Guys think thier girlfriend being with another girl is hot. A girl probably wouldn't think her boyfriend with another guy was hot, she would probably be angry at him for cheating on her.
No, no...I dated a girl who would go on and on about how hot she found two guys together being to the point that she wanted me to roleplay doing things with another guy and also trying to get in a three way relationship with her and another guy (I was the 'first' guy so to speak). Never EVER again...not in a million years for a billion dollars. Plus two girls going at it is just meh to me...probably because I'm demisexual.
 

Galletea

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Sep 27, 2008
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Generally it doesn't matter, since it isn't something you have to make a big statement about. If you're with someone, you're going to be faithful to them, so being bisexual won't make a difference one bit. If anything it just means you can eye up the totty together. If you find yourself with someone who you are wary of revealing your full sexuality to, then maybe something is amiss in the relationship.
 

Dimitriov

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May 24, 2010
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I could certainly be attracted to a bisexual woman, but the idea itself doesn't jive well with me. I am a man, if I am dating a girl then yeah I don't want to be wondering if she's checking out other women...
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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Years ago I dated a bisexual guy, he made it known he was bi by bringing up whenever he could. He slipped up by saying how he thought gay sex seemed disgusting and he'd never do it and how he didn't see the appeal to men. I reminded him of his 'bisexuality' and he was like 'oh yeah I am!'

What a weirdo LOL. I've met so many people like that. The only problem I have with dating a bi would be the stupid niggling thought at the back of my head, "what if he's actually gay but saying he's bi and using me to appease his parents/he isn't ready to say he's gay?!"

It's stupid but that's how my daft brain works. Doesn't help I've known people who have actually done that >.<
 

EstrogenicMuscle

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Well, I am a bisexual myself, so why wouldn't I?

Honestly I think bisexuals get far too horrible of a reputation. I can't stand how many straight and gay people say "don't date a bisexual". Why? It isn't like we're any more likely to engage in infidelity. Having more options is always a good thing in who you date. It doesn't mean you'll date more people or that you'll cheat. It merely means you're more open to dating a wider variety of people than heterosexuals or homosexuals.

Me, I'll never understand heterosexuality or homosexuality. To me, limiting who you date by gender makes as much sense as limiting who you date by race. When someone expects me to make a decision between dating men or women, it feels like someone is telling me I can only date black people or white people or Asian people? Why should I have to choose to only date one race of people for the rest of my life when they are all good options with great personalities? People of all races are worth dating. Just the same, people of all genders are worth dating. Both men and women can be great people and have great personalities.

In fact, as a bisexual, with the racial example, that's exactly how I tend to relate and see heterosexuals and homosexuals. I can never understand it quite, but I just have to accept it exist. Whenever I talk to a heterosexual or homosexual and they share their sexuality with me, it feels like I'm talking to an Asian fetishist. It is very clearly they're enthusiastic about being attracted to who they're attracted to, but I can't help but think how sad it is to have such a limited dating pool. Like there's suddenly this nice black woman or Asian man, but they have anything to do with them. I don't get it. I don't get people having this tiny field of who they're attracted to.

But even as someone who doesn't have heterosexuality or homosexuality, I don't try to restrict them or tell them they are wrong for preferring men or women. So why must we be told to "pick a side"? Or that "bisexuals should only date bisexuals". Why? Why should bisexuals only date bisexuals? It sounds bitter.
 

Legion

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Oct 2, 2008
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I don't see how it is different to dating a heterosexual or homosexual.

Some people seem to be concerned that a larger amount of potential partners means they are more likely to cheat, but that is just idiotic. It makes as much sense as claiming that somebody preferring brunettes is more likely to cheat if they are surrounded by them on a daily basis.

I think I'd prefer to know their sexuality early on in the relationship though, although that's mainly due to my dislike of surprises.

Aramis Night said:
Unfortunately some women try to use it as an excuse to fool around. Every time they bring up how they are attracted to both men and women and should be allowed to have one of each because they are bi, I bring up how I'm attracted to both brunettes and redheads and should go get one of each... just before I dump her.
Admittedly this is something I hear about every now and again as well. The whole "It doesn't count as cheating if it's with another girl/guy". The idea that infidelity only matters if the cheating relationship is a heterosexual one. Very odd indeed.

Lieju said:
I'm quite tired of being told to 'grow up and get a boyfriend', or 'why would you choose to be gay?'
It worries me that there are still people like that. Thankfully I haven't met any myself.

Instead I come across people who say "Bisexuals are greedy". What concerns me is that I don't think all of the people saying it were joking.

EeveeElectro said:
What a weirdo LOL. I've met so many people like that. The only problem I have with dating a bi would be the stupid niggling thought at the back of my head, "what if he's actually gay but saying he's bi and using me to appease his parents/he isn't ready to say he's gay?!"

It's stupid but that's how my daft brain works. Doesn't help I've known people who have actually done that >.<
A friend of mine in school did that to an extent. They claimed to be bisexual as a way of getting us used to the idea that he liked guys, and then later came out as gay. He said a female bisexual friend of his advised him to do so, as it would make people more comfortable.

Not that it did, none of us cared in the slightest.
 

CriticalMiss

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Lesbian here and I don't really like it, I've tried dating girls who were in to guys too but I always had the feeling that one day she might start gawking at boys or say 'Isn't he fit? Phwoar!'. Possibly whilst drinking diet coke in an elevator with her coworkers. But that's all a 'problem' with me rather than with bisexuals, I'd just rather avoid the awkwardness that I would create in such situations and stick with girls-who-like-girls.

Hopefully you don't all hate me now.
 

SoulSalmon

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Sep 27, 2010
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Straight male here (represent the majority y'all!) and I'm actually in love with a bisexual so yes, I'm not entirely sure why it would be an issue...
Before I met her my answer would still be yes, heck young-teenage-pervert me probably would have found it a turn-on.

It's weird to think about where my personal limits are though, I look at this question and think "pfft, how could that EVER be a problem?" before thinking to myself: "I wouldn't be able to date someone who changed their gender through surgery..." and yet there are people who would say the same things about that scenario, that it shouldn't even be a question.

Not sure where I was going with that, but food for thought I guess.