Could You Date A Transexual?

[Chromatic Aberration]

I think this thread exemplifies perfectly what a long way the transgender community still has to go to achieve some widespread public acceptance. Really, the amount of misinterpretations of scientific terminology in an effort to rationalize one's own phobias or searing hostility in here is rather staggering. In fact so much, that I think there is something more at work than a simple mistaken overgeneralizations based on limited evidence resulting in disgust. Fortunately for me, somebody in this thread did already hint at a very nice theory as to why this is:

I can't help but wonder if some of the more visceral responses in this thread aren't motivated by a thorough understanding of biology and are more the case of people being afraid of catching the gay.

Seemingly the pure idea that something exists that transcends the usual gender and sex boundaries perceived by the vast majority of people provides a real thread to their identity - otherwise they wouldn't have reacted like they did, making these constructions in an attempt to validate and protect their self. It really begs the question, though, why so many people identify so strongly with a quantity that should at least a priori have no intrinsic value apart from the pragmatic. Perhaps this is one of those few examples where actual social role models do still largely shape perception - a remnant or a sign of a patriarchic structure if you like. Definitely an interesting question to ponder...

OT: I don't have any quarrels if I have at least some attraction and I really enjoy the character.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

To me it's all the same "Shemale", "Ladyboy", "Tranny"- they are ALL disgusting.

Sorry but ladyboy is the preferred term used by the Thai ladyboy trans subculture.

that's fine OVER THERE, here not so much.

plus over there, being trans is a business and as you said a subculture... it's completely fetishisized over there... I am not someone's fetish! I am a woman.

 

[dragonswarrior]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

This is an awesome post. Please sir, take these plus one internets. You've earned them.

 

[Myndnix]

I could indeed. Absolutely no qualms with it.
Pansexuality works wonders for questions like this.

 

[speakstrg17]

No I could not, why? Many reasons

1. Children- Adopting wouldn't be the same for me
2. The more than likely manly like traits being left around would be to nasty
3. The thought that this dude is a man, always has been, and always will be

Bleh, No thank you

 

[NemotheElvenPanda]

I need to be with a guy that has all the associated biological reproductive systems of a fully mature male. Although I'll consider a woman that transitions to be a man like a brother (and vice-versa) I couldn't date him.

 

[axlryder]

Yes and no. Yes because psychologically I couldn't care less and there's no real difference anyway. No because I've only ever seen about 3 transsexual woman that I haven't felt look masculine in some way, and that is just a huge turn off for me. Even Bailey Jay, who is definitely hot, has a forehead that is pretty indicative of a masculine skeletal structure (thus the usual bangs). She also has kind of an obvious voice.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

Pansexuality works wonders for questions like this.

it sure does doesn't it

 

[TheSpyIsASpyWDZ]

Shallow or not, the only way I would date a transsexual is if they were attractive enough. This does not apply to any other sexuality... But I'd have no problems being friends with a transsexual, attractive to me or not.

 

[NoeL]

I would happily date a transsexual that looked anything like the following:

Ellery Sweet
Sapphire Young
Elle Simons
Bailey Jay
Lady Gaga (lol jk)

Granted, they have all had extensive surgery to look more feminine, and you could make the argument they're not actually transsexuals since they're all happy to keep their knob (except for maybe Elle, I really don't know much about her)... but still, you can't deny they're hot.

That said, dating is more than just physical attraction. If we don't click on an emotional level also it's not going to work. I only know one transsexual (MtoF) and he's a grating moron that has made his transgenderism the sole focus of his life - he never introduces himself as a man, always a trans man. He can't make a Facebook post without mentioning it in some way. He can't apply for a job or a room for rent without asking if it's "trans friendly". It's embarrassing.


EDIT:

Gender reassignment surgery is scary as fuck - I respect the hell out of anyone who does that to themselves. It speaks to how wrong they must feel in their bodies to literally have their sex organs sliced apart and reassembled.

I also cannot fault my female friend who is too freaked out by mental images of said surgery to enjoy a sexual encounter with a post-op transsexual (she has no problem having sex with pre-op transsexuals).

I'm the same as your friend there. Despite being heterosexual, I'd rather sleep with a girl that had a penis than a girl that had a surgically-made vagina. The surgery freaks me out. Hell, I have trouble sleeping with girls while they're on their period because the blood makes me queasy.

 

[The Material Sheep]

If they don't look like a mutilated man then yes. It's something I truly sympathize with, I really do, but the science is just not there yet to make every transsexual passable as their new gender.

I've always had a theory about it, where transsexuals have a similar peak to the uncanny valley. There's cross dressers at the cartoonish, and then transsexuals who actually had physical traits or characteristic of the other gender before hand (facial/body structure) that can easily pass for the other gender afterwards. However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance. You don't register female/male when you see them. You take a subconscious note of person who for all intents and purposes is a surgically scarred human being.

Ehh meh... I don't know. That's just my incredibly uneducated theory on the matter. Sorry if I offend, it's not my intention.

 

[00slash00]

threads like this do wonders to point out how far we are from equality (ya know, if the fact that in most of america you can be fired just for being trans, or gay for that matter, wasnt indication enough). as a whole, i consider the people on this site to be pretty liberal or left leaning. but the amount of comments implying that trans people are gross or that they are just playing dress up, is depressing, revolting, and beyond ignorant. *sigh* id like to think we had come further than this by now

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance.

I get that.. that's me actually...hehe but ya I understand people wanting a feminine looking trans girl if they were to pursue one... i see it differently since I AM one, but i think it's refreshing to see people say they would..under certain conditions.

 

[The Material Sheep]

However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance.

I get that.. that's me actually...hehe but ya I understand people wanting a feminine looking trans girl if they were to pursue one... i see it differently since I AM one, but i think it's refreshing to see people say they would..under certain conditions.

I'm so sorry if I offend. I really am. Just trying to give as honest an explanation as I can of my personal feelings.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance.

I get that.. that's me actually...hehe but ya I understand people wanting a feminine looking trans girl if they were to pursue one... i see it differently since I AM one, but i think it's refreshing to see people say they would..under certain conditions.

I'm so sorry if I offend. I really am. Just trying to give as honest an explanation as I can of my personal feelings.

no no.. i'm not offended... I love who and what I am..took me a long time to get to this point..i don't care if i don't look like "the ideal woman" my wife loves me, i get hit on a lot, and I LOVE being the girl I am!

 

[The Material Sheep]

However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance.

I get that.. that's me actually...hehe but ya I understand people wanting a feminine looking trans girl if they were to pursue one... i see it differently since I AM one, but i think it's refreshing to see people say they would..under certain conditions.

I'm so sorry if I offend. I really am. Just trying to give as honest an explanation as I can of my personal feelings.

no no.. i'm not offended... I love who and what I am..took me a long time to get to this point..i don't care if i don't look like "the ideal woman" my wife loves me, i get hit on a lot, and I LOVE being the girl I am!

Fuck yeah! No worries then. Good to see people with a proud self image.

 

[Beautiful Tragedy]

However, then there are the unfortunate ones who fall in the valley where when you look at them, there is just something off about their appearance.

I get that.. that's me actually...hehe but ya I understand people wanting a feminine looking trans girl if they were to pursue one... i see it differently since I AM one, but i think it's refreshing to see people say they would..under certain conditions.

I'm so sorry if I offend. I really am. Just trying to give as honest an explanation as I can of my personal feelings.

no no.. i'm not offended... I love who and what I am..took me a long time to get to this point..i don't care if i don't look like "the ideal woman" my wife loves me, i get hit on a lot, and I LOVE being the girl I am!

Fuck yeah! No worries then. Good to see people with a proud self image.

Damn skippy hippy! Life is too short and too much fun to worry about small stuff... I just wanna live, love and laugh every day

 

[a ginger491]

I had a friend who recently decided to come out to me of all people about being transgender. I was supportive and respected his feelings, and helped him get over his jitters towards telling his parents the next day, but the whole experience was really odd for me. I think it was just the pressure of being the first one he came out and that any kind of feminine traits he ever exhibited had completely flown over my head. It will be super awkward if and when he gets a sex change though.
As far as dating a transgender/transsexual person goes, as long as they a pre op transgender female or a transsexual male I think I would be able to date them provided I was both physically and mentally attracted to them. I think girls that with more masculine personality traits are kinda hot anyway, so that could be a plus as long as they don't want to put anything in my butt.

 

[axlryder]

threads like this do wonders to point out how far we are from equality (ya know, if the fact that in most of america you can be fired just for being trans, or gay for that matter, wasnt indication enough). as a whole, i consider the people on this site to be pretty liberal or left leaning. but the amount of comments implying that trans people are gross or that they are just playing dress up, is depressing, revolting, and beyond ignorant. *sigh* id like to think we had come further than this by now

Trans people are in a special situation, and thus society will inevitably take far longer to accept them than other minority groups.

 

[LetalisK]

I probably wouldn't. Just not my cup of tea, really. I wish them luck, though.