Could You Date A Transexual?

[Smolderin]

That's fine. I'll concede on the point I shouldn't have brought science into it, but it doesn't change anything. If you want to get technical and say that I am homophobic, alright....So what if I am? Does that make me a bad person? An ignorant person? Uneducated? Am I wrong to say that I will never have a romantic relationship with a Transexual? I don't think I am. It's just who I am as a person. It's how I grew up. I'll say it here so people don't get confused, I have nothing against Transexuals of any kind, hell, if your one I will befriend you if are interests are common enough. But I am not going to date you, cause it goes against my standards (it has nothing to do with high or low standards...so don't confuse me saying that dating a Transexual means I am lowering my standards, that is not what I am saying here).

Okay. **nods**

I know several transsexuals, so I found your comment that they weren't "medically" their gender to be offensive. Your personal preferences are fine, so long as you aren't saying anyone elses are wrong (which the medical comment seemed to imply).

On a similar note, I know a woman who would not date a transsexual because she is sickened by the thought of genital mutilation. She has no problem with transsexuals as friends, but she couldn't have sex with one because she wouldn't be able to think about anything but the surgery done to them (which is really quite terrifying - I couldn't imagine having anyone do that to my vagina).

Gender reassignment surgery is scary as fuck - I respect the hell out of anyone who does that to themselves. It speaks to how wrong they must feel in their bodies to literally have their sex organs sliced apart and reassembled.

I also cannot fault my female friend who is too freaked out by mental images of said surgery to enjoy a sexual encounter with a post-op transsexual (she has no problem having sex with pre-op transsexuals).

We all have our preferences. You don't have to like what I like - but I ask that you respect the rights of others to like it.

But of course, I respect everyone's right to live life the way they want to. Maybe in some cases I might disagree with it but I am not going to come out and tell you that you are wrong for living life a certain way. There is no wrong choice in this matter as far as I'm concerned, you either can or you can't. I can't cause of personal preference (should have said that a long time ago...would have probably spared me the backlash) and there really isn't any simpler reason.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

That's actually one thing I don't take issue with in regards to what he said. If he doesn't want to have sex with someone for their past, that's his prerogative. I don't see him being scared of being gay, you're making assumptions on that.

**pause**

You're right, I am.

It makes sense from the context, but that is entirely an assumption.

There are other reasonable possibilities. He could be like the woman I know and the thought of the surgery freaks him out (which is one reason I mentioned her in my reply to him).

Or he could really want children from his own DNA, which would be difficult with a transsexual partner.

Or something entirely different.

I jumped to a logical conclusion, but as you say, it was still a leap away from the facts.

Edit: Edited previous post to remove my assumption. However, since it brought up an interesting point, I'm copy/pasting the rest of my thoughts here.

It occurs to me - there should really be a proper term for "gay hating" that doesn't mean "gay fearing" since they aren't necessarily the same thing. Hating women has it's own term (misogyny) so why not hating gay people? We don't call misogynists "gynophobic".

If misogyny is woman hating (miso for hating, gyny for woman) then would it be misohomo? misogay?

Yeah... latin is failing me.

 

[WieldsOblivion]

(speaking as a straight girl here) if someone was born a girl and transitioned into a guy, yeah I'd date them if I liked 'em like that. I personally believe they were born a guy, just in the wrong body. If that's who they feel they are (and who they physically are post op of course) then they'd be a guy to me. So no problemo.

 

[Danglybits]

It would be very difficult, if not, impossible and awkward if I knew beforehand...I don't really have a fetish for this.

how fortunate that one does not need a fetish to follow through.

True but it's not something I'd enjoy sexually. Still, that said would like to have a child one day[footnote]Some distant mystical future[/footnote].

Well said. The hemming and hawing is almost as irritating and offensive as the word, 'tranny' and all of the mindset that goes with it.

 

[Danglybits]

even if i could be initially fooled into being in a relationship

....I'm not even completely sure what to say here.

medically speaking, YOU ARE A MALE

Please don't besmirch medicine to try and defend your feelings on the matter. Medically speaking, a MTF transsexual is not male. I'm not saying you have to want to date or even like transsexuals, but don't hide behind "medicine" to cover YOUR issues with it. That's akin to saying "scientifically speaking, the negro is an inferior species" to explain why you'd never date a black person.

You can't just slap "science!" on your phobias, sorry.

Well said, 'medically speaking' is a shit work around. Especially if you don't do chromosomal testing on everyone you date to make sure they only have two sex chromosomes and aren't XXY or XYY.

 

[Karoshi]

I could date a transsexual if he looked and acted like a guy. I don't think I'd care about his past gender, although it might complicate things. As long he has a great personality, it would be worth sticking for.

As for krazykidd, wow, that's the point at which I back away slowly and wish Escapist had an ignore button.

Edit:

Yes.

Dangly, do yourself a favour and elaborate on that ^^ . Otherwise the mods will give you a warning for this post. Escapist has something like a minimum words policy which doesn't take single words as an answer.

 

[StarsintheBlood]

I probably could. I don't like the notion that we HAVE to love the bodies we were born in, and if they relate to being a different gender, then it's theirs to change and I respect that. I'm an asexual, so their genitals don't really sway me either way.

 

[D Moness]

As for krazykidd, wow, that's the point at which I back away slowly and wish Escapist had an ignore button.

The escapist has an ignore button (i should know my list if filled with a lot of people).
left click when the mousepointer is on the nick and select ignore.

 

[Karoshi]

As for krazykidd, wow, that's the point at which I back away slowly and wish Escapist had an ignore button.

The escapist has an ignore button (i should know my list if filled with a lot of people).
left click when the mousepointer is on the nick and select ignore.

Great, thanks! Escapist thought of everything, haha

 

[Assassin Xaero]

No. I'd like to have a family some day, and can't do that with some "girl" who was born with a penis. Not to mention the paranoid involved since I've had two male pedophiles come after me and now another guy who we assume has/had a crush on me is getting pissed at me for no real reason and acting like... well... a pissed off ex girlfriend.

 

[Hjalmar Fryklund]

It occurs to me - there should really be a proper term for "gay hating" that doesn't mean "gay fearing" since they aren't necessarily the same thing. Hating women has it's own term (misogyny) so why not hating gay people? We don't call misogynists "gynophobic".

If misogyny is woman hating (miso for hating, gyny for woman) then would it be misohomo? misogay?

Yeah... latin is failing me.

Something in the way of "homoodia" and "homoodic" I would guess. It more or less translates into "homohatred" and "homohating" respectively. Though it is up for debate whenether it should be spelt with two O´s or only one.

As for krazykidd, wow, that's the point at which I back away slowly and wish Escapist had an ignore button.

There is. Just click on his profile name and a list with options will pop up. The Ignore button is right there.

EDIT: Nevermind, someone beat me to it.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Something in the way of "homoodia" or "homoodic".

Sounds like a race of cheerful arthropods from Dark Crystal.

 

[pffh]

I guess for me, it'd depend on the craftmanship of the surgeon who turned him into a her.

If I could snag a tranny that was as finely sculpted as Poison, then I probably wouldn't care. I'll go for it.

But, I don't think we've come that far yet.
Most trannies are so obviously trannies that it would just put me off.

please don't use that word..it's horrible slang and hurtful. thanks

from one t-girl to another, there are worse words for us. Shemale for example. Ladyboy. I pick my battles. Tranny isn't that bad in comparison, so I let others use that to describe me if they must.

To me it's all the same "Shemale", "Ladyboy", "Tranny"- they are ALL disgusting.

Sorry but ladyboy is the preferred term used by the Thai ladyboy trans subculture.

 

[Schizocorpse]

I'd wish him or her the best and move on. You might technically and legally have become the other gender, but it'd never feel like it to me.

 

[Hjalmar Fryklund]

Something in the way of "homoodia" or "homoodic".

Sounds like a race of cheerful arthropods from Dark Crystal.

Was there actually a race with a name like that or is it just a referential joke?
[sub]I'm a dumb young man who has no grasp on adventure games from the early eighties, you see. [/sub]

CAPTCHA: bond, james bond

You forgot to capitalize, captcha!

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Was there actually a race with a name like that or is it just a referential joke?

[sub]I'm a dumb young man who has no grasp on adventure games from the early eighties, you see. [/sub]

Just a referential joke. I find the words themselves amusing to the ear.

And Dark Crystal was a movie! You're aging me, dude. Stop it right now.

 

[Hjalmar Fryklund]

Was there actually a race with a name like that or is it just a referential joke?

[sub]I'm a dumb young man who has no grasp on adventure games from the early eighties, you see. [/sub]

Just a referential joke. I find the words themselves amusing to the ear.

And Dark Crystal was a movie!

There was actually a computer game based on it. It was made in 1983. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dark_Crystal_%28video_game%29]

You're aging me, dude. Stop it right now.

Nope. I still have to offer you a few cigarettes first! They will turn you all wrinkly...*evil chuckle*

EDIT: It bears repeating that the level of homophobia and transphobia on display in this thread is absolutely disgusting.

 

[Innegativeion]

I am about 80% sure that I would be okay with dating a MtoF trans. I mean, as long as I find them attractive, both mentally and physically, the fuck do I care what they were born as? Be a bit weird at first if our relationship is physical, me not being much of a fan of penis and all, and post-op vag is a bit...off...but hey, what's a relationship without obstacles to overcome? If I care enough about them, I'll get over myself eventually. And if I really care about them, then I doubt it will be a problem in the first place.

Seconded. All matter is transitive, and so too flesh. Human genitals are all made of the same STUFF. Only difference is the way the STUFF is arranged.

Also, contrary to popular belief, chromosomes only tell your proteins how to build your body, and in the case of sex, that process is essentially done after puberty. They're just instructions, and don't magically make you male or female. Any sex-based effects they have on your body other than genitals can be suppressed by medication anyway.

 

[Treblaine]

Surely the question should be *would* you date a transsexual, as I don't think anything stops a "could".

I mean I couldn't date Napoleon because he's been dead for over a century.

And after that, it's simply a matter of if I like what I see, it's a matter of taking things step by step. I couldn't rule anything out simply because they were born with a penis, it would be how they are today and now and in the future.

EDIT: since this is supposed to be escapist forum, considering the prospect of PERFECT sex change procedures, even down to the DNA level, then to me that eliminated all initial reservations. My only possible worry is that, well, the transforming isn't exactly perfect, I mean I totally respect that they want to be a woman because they feel that they fundamentally are... but respect also to what people are looking for in a partner.

 

[Candidus]

Perhaps if she was post-op when we met, and not distinguishable from a person born a woman- in particular the genetalia...

I just don't think I could get past the presence of a penis. I dislike that appendage when it isn't my own, to the extent that I don't want to see it in drawings or in pornography (so straight porn is out).