Court Gives Zombies Constitutional Rights

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

All we want from you is our rights...we're not unreasonable...

 

[IceWarm]

I don't give no fuck! If a real zombie is lunging at me I have every right to shoot it in self defense. I'll even shoot it twice(double tap) to make sure it is really dead. If you thought Columbus was bad as being a shut-in...I'm him, only in real life, and I don't hook up with Emma Stone...fuck!

 

[Chaos-Spider]

lol omg zombie rights haha what next womens right



that was a joke please dont flame me

Can I borrow your time machine? it seems to be working.

OT: does this mean that we could see legalized zombie politicians and sex workers at some point in the future if they don't already exist?

Edit: If they do come up with ac soy brain alternative and can market it to a wider audience the zombies will have an instant moral victory as all, or at least a vast number of people will have turned into zombies without a single one being dead.

Now we just need to wait for the world to run out of oil and arable land before cannibalism becomes a diet and lifestyle choice.

That's why I plan on moving to Mars.

So will you be establishing the martian colony as a last refuge for the human race from the zombie horde, or are you going to use it as a nefarious space fortress from which to control your zombie and/or alien army as you plan for world domination?

If its the later I would reccomend using Celphones in your scheme for planetary conquest as they are apparently a weapon of mass destruction.

OT: someone having sex in an elevator and getting pregnant from it is not adequate grounds for a lawsuit. Why are Americans so weird about these things, don't they make enough money of the media sex they already produce in mass quantities?

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

They do NOT deserve money for being arrested. This is why our legal system sucks. We hand out money like candy.

 

[Sovvolf]

Bystander: "Shoot the Zombie"
Police: "Sorry I can't do any think, me stopping the zombie would violate the zombies constitutionally protect right"
Bystander: "WHAT IF IT BITES ME!!!?"
Police: "Then the zombie will be arrested and it will be up to you to press charges on the zombie".

 

[Meggiepants]

I am appalled, appalled I tell you, at the lack of compassion for zombies on this thread! Have none of you seen Fido? Zombies can be cute and cuddly. Billy Connolly proves it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fido_(film)

Great film btw, if you have never seen it.

 

[ucciolord1]

I like these protesters, but I'm still waiting for a foolproof, instantaneous "Zombie-Test-o-matic" to tell whether the people I'm shooting are actual Zombies or just cool college kids.

 

[ma55ter_fett]

Yea well the cops in the twin cities arn't exactly known for there tollerance of protesters.

take the 2008 republican national convention for example.

we are a crazy breed in minnesota, zero tolerance for zombies.

 

[HTID Raver]

... looks like its time to open the gunsafe

 

[paragon1]

lol omg zombie rights haha what next womens right



that was a joke please dont flame me

Can I borrow your time machine? it seems to be working.

OT: does this mean that we could see legalized zombie politicians and sex workers at some point in the future if they don't already exist?

Edit: If they do come up with ac soy brain alternative and can market it to a wider audience the zombies will have an instant moral victory as all, or at least a vast number of people will have turned into zombies without a single one being dead.

Now we just need to wait for the world to run out of oil and arable land before cannibalism becomes a diet and lifestyle choice.

That's why I plan on moving to Mars.

So will you be establishing the martian colony as a last refuge for the human race from the zombie horde, or are you going to use it as a nefarious space fortress from which to control your zombie and/or alien army as you plan for world domination?

If its the later I would reccomend using Celphones in your scheme for planetary conquest as they are apparently a weapon of mass destruction.

OT: someone having sex in an elevator and getting pregnant from it is not adequate grounds for a lawsuit. Why are Americans so weird about these things, don't they make enough money of the media sex they already produce in mass quantities?

Both really.

 

[man-man]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD
why does EVERYBODY diserve rights?
dont tell me you havent seen a person who did something evil(like a baby rapist and puppy eater) who is protected by law and given nothing more than a fugging WARNING.
thats why this world need a harsh dictator who makes people "disappear" if they wave thier rights.

in the event of a zombie apocolypse, there ARE going to be hippie PETA douche type people who will do anything for zomibie rights, and THEY are the people who I will kill first, ill leave the zombie killing to you untill im done with them.
I think ill lock them in a room and tie them up and release a SINGLE zombie in that room, and laugh as they say things like "I respect your right to eat me" inbetween thier screems.^_^

EDIT
I dont care if thats extremely sadistic and psycho, if that happens Im gonna laugh my ass of, and possably video tape it

Locked in a room with a zombie, I think even PETA-class douches would abandon their morals fairly quickly. In the hypothetical case, I'd expect one of two responses - mental breakdown or fighting for their life. Hell, they could even win - if enough of them choose to fight then the zombie is, after all, only a human with the safety off. The zombie might seem stronger if they're recently deceased and not too decomposed (as they wouldn't hold back due to pain) but it's still only got human muscles to work with.

As for why everyone should have rights, that's because any legal system can make mistakes. Even if your harsh dictator was trying to be fair and benevolent in their dispensation of justice they'd still have the potential for error. So everyone gets the right to defend themselves, the right to a fair trial, the right (maybe) to appeal. No exceptions.

I would probably allow a zombie-exception though. Braindead murderous cannibals are quite hard to mistake for normal humans. And if they were actively trying to eat your brain, I think you'd be covered under self-defence for killing them.

 

[Sjakie]

If little children in the Mall got scared of these guys, they should have been asked to leave, because that would just be cruel to children. If they were asked to do that and refused then they should have been arrested.

But for the rest: very creative protest, i applaud that and just that.


constitutional rights are a joke, they dont exist.

just check: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_American_internment

or if you dont like reading, watch:

[youtube=4F1Lq1uFcAE

 

[Low Key]

Yea well the cops in the twin cities arn't exactly known for there tollerance of protesters.

take the 2008 republican national convention for example.

we are a crazy breed in minnesota, zero tolerance for zombies.

I'm under the impression that most of them got what they deserved.

Now northside MPLS and E-block cops, hell yeah! They'll bust anyone for anything, and they'll beat people just for the heck of it. The precincts there have a $500 million budget just for lawsuits. Well, perhaps not that much, but it's a lot.

 

[BonsaiK]

I'm not going to get eaten just because some college kids hate the mall.

Now you know why the bulk of George A. Romero's "Dawn Of The Dead" is set in a shopping mall.

Romero was making a direct and deliberate correlation between 'zombies' and the people who go to shopping malls to window-shop, covet and buy things mindlessly as a form of self-therapy or self-fulfillment. Society has already been overrun by zombies - perfectly legal ones. Romero, and by extension, these kids, were just helpfully pointing that out, just in case you were already a bit too zombified to notice.

 

[robinkom]

Next will be Constitutional rights for Androids/Robots. That's not a joke. We're coming closer and closer to the creation of the first real Artificial Intelligence.

They just might want their own parking space next to the Handicap spots. (Now THAT part was a joke.)

 

[Trifixion]

What! This is terrible! If we start giving zombies rights then eventually we'll get a PETA-esque group trying to give them more!

Or at least to stop calling them "zombies" or "undead" and instead use the politically correct term "Life Impoverished."