Court Gives Zombies Constitutional Rights

[AboveUp]

Oh, come on! All they want to do is eat our brains! They're not unreasonable, I mean none of them are gonna eat our eyes.
We might be at an impasse here, maybe we should compromise. I say we open up the door and they'll all come inside and eat our brains.

 

[LilGherkin]

I love living in Minneapolis for this story alone.

 

[Skooterz]

that is epically retarded. ZOMBIE KILLING IS NOT GENOCIDE! PICK UP YOUR PITCHFORKS AND CRICKET BATS.

 

[SimuLord]

It's only a matter of time before PeTA issues a statement saying they've made some great advances in soy brain alternatives (followed by someone else saying "I knew it! PeTA have soy for brains!")

 

[Chaos-Spider]

lol omg zombie rights haha what next womens right



that was a joke please dont flame me

Can I borrow your time machine? it seems to be working.

OT: does this mean that we could see legalized zombie politicians and sex workers at some point in the future if they don't already exist?

Edit: If they do come up with ac soy brain alternative and can market it to a wider audience the zombies will have an instant moral victory as all, or at least a vast number of people will have turned into zombies without a single one being dead.

Now we just need to wait for the world to run out of oil and arable land before cannibalism becomes a diet and lifestyle choice.

 

[teisjm]

how hard can this be, seriously?

If they we're cos-playing zombies, they must've kileld someone and eaten their brains, hence murder, canibalism and genral psycho charges.

If the didn't eat any brians and just walked around, not even trheatening or trying to eat brains face charges, then they deserve a night or two for not living into their characters proberbly.

On a more serious note, i think this i s retarded, give them the damn money and stop arresting people for dressing up, it's not teh dark age anymore.

 

[paragon1]

They were dressed as zombie's? IN A MALL? They should thank those officers. They probably saved the protesters' lives. Just imagine if they'd set-up near a Gamestop. *shudders*

 

[paragon1]

lol omg zombie rights haha what next womens right



that was a joke please dont flame me

Can I borrow your time machine? it seems to be working.

OT: does this mean that we could see legalized zombie politicians and sex workers at some point in the future if they don't already exist?

Edit: If they do come up with ac soy brain alternative and can market it to a wider audience the zombies will have an instant moral victory as all, or at least a vast number of people will have turned into zombies without a single one being dead.

Now we just need to wait for the world to run out of oil and arable land before cannibalism becomes a diet and lifestyle choice.

That's why I plan on moving to Mars.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Words cannot describe what I'm feeling right now.

A bit of hilarity, a bit of cynicism, a bit of wondering why, a bit of overhanging doom.

 

[crystalsnow]

Hurray! Now all we have to worry about is giving rights to people who actually exist!

 

[DragonsAteMyMarbles]

Yay for freedom of brains!
Erm.
Expression.
Expression is what I meant.

 

[dont_blink]

This is only the beginging... soon my brother's shall rise from there undead slumber to-


Er i mean, who else enjoys partakeing in all sort's of 100% living, breathing human things?

sorry to hear about your brother, man

concept=lost

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

As long as they are not part of the group of zombies that refused to recognise the social stigma of surviving on human flesh. Cookie to whoever gets that reference.

 

[Canid117]

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD
why does EVERYBODY diserve rights?
dont tell me you havent seen a person who did something evil(like a baby rapist and puppy eater) who is protected by law and given nothing more than a fugging WARNING.
thats why this world need a harsh dictator who makes people "disappear" if they wave thier rights.

in the event of a zombie apocolypse, there ARE going to be hippie PETA douche type people who will do anything for zomibie rights, and THEY are the people who I will kill first, ill leave the zombie killing to you untill im done with them.
I think ill lock them in a room and tie them up and release a SINGLE zombie in that room, and laugh as they say things like "I respect your right to eat me" inbetween thier screems.^_^

EDIT
I dont care if thats extremely sadistic and psycho, if that happens Im gonna laugh my ass of, and possably video tape it

You are gloriously retarded do you know that?

why?
because I have allowed my world view to descende to the deapths of madness in order to figure a TRUE non-bias view upon the injustices of this world, and have realised that the only true way to obtain the sociaties view of "good" is to propose methods to an extreme method, such as dealing in absoloute?
because if so than your statment, in itself, is an injustice and therefore, you are a hippocrite.
QED
I WIN

No its is because your writing is the most atrocious I have ever seen on the internet. That and your Hobbes for dumbasses statements are really funny to laugh at.

 

[Jinx_Dragon]

The court was wrong here. /snip

I disagree... malls are not able to discriminate in any way shape or form because they are public access. If any private property is opened to the public it has to follow the same rules as public owned land. This means the likes of malls can not discriminate even if they are private owned and many civil right cases point to this fact. The worse the mall can do is ask a person to leave, and then seek arrest after a period of time long enough for people to leave the property has passed. Even then they can get sued if the only reason for asking them to leave is appearance.

While this does mean we need more information before we can say the courts are wrong, such as what behaviour they where undertaking and if they had been asked to leave? The fact that the courts, which know all this legal junk, ruled in favour of the protesters suggests the mall didn't do it 'by the books.' That they had no grounds to ask the protesters to leave, or failed to do so, and hence the zombies had not commited any crime when the police arrested them.

Also on public property you don't need permits, as long as your not impeding the flow of traffic. Even if you are there is a lee way in which you can stop a person before moving out of their way. I remember this because it is measured in parts of a second, which I found strange, but for the life of me can't remember just how long you have to get out of a persons way. In any case the worse the mall could do is ask them to leave and it comes back to the above mentioned fact the courts, which know all this better then I, ruled in favour of the zombies.

Hence it isn't hard for me to side with the zombies on this one, the courts did.

 

[Therumancer]

The court was wrong here. /snip

I disagree... malls are not able to discriminate in any way shape or form because they are public access. If any private property is opened to the public it has to follow the same rules as public owned land. This means the likes of malls can not discriminate even if they are private owned and many civil right cases point to this fact. The worse the mall can do is ask a person to leave, and then seek arrest after a period of time long enough for people to leave the property has passed. Even then they can get sued if the only reason for asking them to leave is appearance.

While this does mean we need more information before we can say the courts are wrong, such as what behaviour they where undertaking and if they had been asked to leave? The fact that the courts, which know all this legal junk, ruled in favour of the protesters suggests the mall didn't do it 'by the books.' That they had no grounds to ask the protesters to leave, or failed to do so, and hence the zombies had not commited any crime when the police arrested them.

Also on public property you don't need permits, as long as your not impeding the flow of traffic. Even if you are there is a lee way in which you can stop a person before moving out of their way. I remember this because it is measured in parts of a second, which I found strange, but for the life of me can't remember just how long you have to get out of a persons way. In any case the worse the mall could do is ask them to leave and it comes back to the above mentioned fact the courts, which know all this better then I, ruled in favour of the zombies.

Hence it isn't hard for me to side with the zombies on this one, the courts did.

The reason is quite simple, because if you permit this you also have to permit politicians, religious groups, and everyone else to also use your mall as a place to circulate propaganda. Something a mall owner does not want because it's going to drive away customers both whom do not want to be harassed, and might disagree with who is there. Never mind what the businesses renting space might think.

In this case the court apparently did side with them, which is why I am saying they are wrong. Malls have always had the right to post and enforce no solicitation and loitering laws, or at least they have locally. This also goes for shopping centers and the like.

You might say that's not fair, BUT you'd rapidly change your tune if you were getting pestered by 30 differant groups running around the mall screaming at you and handing out political fliers.

Guaranteed, when someone tries to exploit that precedent in the area it's going to be interesting.

 

[insectoid]

So now Zombies have legal rights? We're so screwed.

 

[qbanknight]

funniest story i've read all day, I needed that

 

[viciouspen]

Yup
One step closer to the zombie apocalypse.
I'm going to shake my head and stockpile more ammo and A12s.