Critical Miss: #28

Moriarty70

Canucklehead
Dec 24, 2008
498
0
0
Great just what we need. More space marines to remind folks like Marcus Pheonix that they aren't special little flowers, make them all emo and cut themselves with their chainsaw bayonets...

Never mind that's a great idea. Besides all this stuff is just a knockoff of epic European poetry anyways.
 

OctalLord

New member
May 20, 2010
242
0
0
The next question I have is. What are we going to do with all the MMO trolls making fun of teh Spesh Marines for being a all-man-group... Oh right rip their faces off with a chainsword. Fun times.
 

itf cho

Custom title? Bah! oh wait...
Jul 8, 2010
269
0
0
Onyx Oblivion said:
itf cho said:
Onyx Oblivion said:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.
I must be missing something... But what in blazes does Danny Glover and Lethal Weapon have to do with this comic strip??? That aside, I liked this one.
Read the text outside of the strip itself...
Ah-hah - Thanks.
 

zacobar

The Last Crunkbender
Aug 11, 2009
31
0
0
Sisters of Battle can wear power armour and use bolters. But humans can too, Guard officers use boltpistols and 'normal' inqusitors wear power armour. The difference is just that stuff is not as good as the Astartes persay. Marines are genetically enhanced and wear a special body suit to fully interact with all the systems of the power armour. Humans of both genders will also wear a body suit and have some implants so they can actually move in the suit but cannot use all of its features.

Because of that, most of the Marine features are not built in. Like helmets (sometimes) HUDs, increased speed and strength and the ability to survive in a vacumn. However it is still a nearly invincible suit of Adamantium and Ceramite.

So you can tell I'm a fanboy, so I loved the Gellar field reference. And I can see that problem happening among, you know, idiots ... which can be a lot of MMO players.

ONLY IN DEATH DOES DUTY END! FOR THE EMPEROR!
 

Canadian Briton

New member
May 1, 2010
643
0
0
DTWolfwood said:
P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?
Nope space marines go through rigorous training and genetic modification to the point that they are hardly human anymore (they still look relatively human) Sisters of battle do not go through genetic modification (they might go through good training though nowhere on the level of space marines).
 

Katherine Kerensky

Why, or Why Not?
Mar 27, 2009
7,744
0
0
Betancore said:
-All Hail Britannia Snip-
True, but then every time I read about the Sisters of Battle I always think they make up for everything they're lacking by being overly zealous about purification. And stuff.
The source of their power is their faith. Whereas the Astartes rely mostly on tech, the Sororitas rely on tech, and their unbreakable faith.
And it does the job >.> They get little miracles granted by the Emperor, or various saints >.>
They are zealous, because if they keep believing, then their prayers are answered >.>
Plus, a prerequisite to join them is to be a pyromaniac.
>.>
<.<
 
Aug 25, 2009
4,611
0
0
Always nice to see something that's being parodied in a webcomic being ENACTED ENTIRELY BY THE PEOPLE IN THE FORUMS.

Seriously, this exact same thing happens every single time Yahtzee insults a fanbase as well, it's tedious to the extreme.
 

zacobar

The Last Crunkbender
Aug 11, 2009
31
0
0
Well the Marine rely on faith too but yeah, Sisters do pray and get special Emperor magic.
 

ironduke88

New member
Mar 20, 2010
129
0
0
I have a feeling that is going to be a serious problem. I personally love the 40K Fluff, it makes great books and is a fun universe to write in. Now I am not a huge fanboy (well maybe a little bit) but I will not be happy at any attempt to rewrite the lore so that space marines can be female, this isn't me being sexist or anything, it just doesn't work (God forbid that they make one of the lost legions an all female legion). In the same vein as you can't have male sisters of battle. All orks are asexual so they are not a problem.

I just want to role my aplha+ psykic inquistor with the power to dissolve entire cities with the power of my mind (although knowing my luck that won't be a playable faction neither will the grey knights, nor any of the officio assassinorum and I severely doubt I'll get a chance to play as a titan princeps).
 

DTWolfwood

Better than Vash!
Oct 20, 2009
3,716
0
0
Canadian Briton said:
DTWolfwood said:
P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?
Nope space marines go through rigorous training and genetic modification to the point that they are hardly human anymore (they still look relatively human) Sisters of battle do not go through genetic modification (they might go through good training though nowhere on the level of space marines).
well regardless of the lore, i remember they have the same stats as Space Marines. Plus they share the same power armors ^-^ just one set actually has breast behind the breast(shape) plate. XD
 

Gildan Bladeborn

New member
Aug 11, 2009
3,044
0
0
Onyx Oblivion said:
That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...
Space Marines in 40K aren't just marines, in space - they're genetically modified superhumans, modeled after the genetic template of the Emperor himself. The augmentation process requires that it be started young, like no older than 14, if there's going to be any real chance of success, and the process renders marines functionally immortal (in that they don't die of old age, whether they would if given enough time is unknown because marines tend to die violently). Space Marines are pretty much a separate species, only they can't procreate. So no, there are no female marines.

As others have pointed out, there's an entire faction of power armor wearing religious fanatics that's exclusively female, and women can certainly be in the guard, the inquisition, assassins, etc, so it's not like guys get to do all the fighting. There just aren't any female marines, and most 40K fans think that suggesting there could be is every bit as stupid as trying to gin up something like say... male amazonian warriors; there are some things you just do not do.

DTWolfwood said:
Plus i think the Orks would have a problem. I think they just pop out of the ground cause for the life of me i've never read about a female ork.

P.S. Don't the Sisters of Battle have the same 2 hitpoints all Space marines have and the same firing accuracy with Bolters? and the fact they can use Bolters not as Heavy weapons mean they are Space Marines?
That's because there aren't any - in the old old fluff there were, but Games Workshop revised the orks to be partly fungal organisms who reproduce via spores (the details are actually quite fascinating, as the same spores that produce orks also produce all the other orkoid forms - they're essentially their own traveling hard to root out ecosystem). So all orks look male, but are actually asexual. I suggest any ladies inclined to roll one up can deal with it.

As for stats meaning equality, table top stats have relatively little to nothing to do with the actual fluff - it's a game, and games need to be balanced. In-universe they're just a fanatical order of warrior-nuns wearing power armor and burning stuff; marines have the Black Carapace, they don't wear armor so much as it becomes an extension of their very body. Also they're superhuman even without the armor, and the Sororitas are normal non-augmented women for the most part.

crotalidian said:
Well the sisters of battle are around and I'm sure they can shoehorn some all female orders into the Marines this is the 40 thousandth century surely equal rights have permitted the induction of females

Also aren't the Eldar a matriarchal society? plenty of ladeez for the game
No no no no no no no no no no no a thousand times NO. They cannot shoehorn them in because they do not exist, the process by which Space Marines are created doesn't work on women.

The idea that we actually need to have female marines to balance things out is silly - a female Calidus assassin is far more deadly than a single marine, women can kick ass with the best of them in 40K.

And no, the Eldar are not a matriarchal society. Most of the various 'roles' you'd find Eldar in are open to males or females, but even they have their own exclusive factions - Howling Banshees anyone?

Danzaivar said:
You know, I think just having Sisters of Battle and classing them as female space marines might actually cause more problems (I.e. Beserk fanboyism) than just allowing female space marines.
I rather doubt that - in table top terms their stats are all but identical, I really don't see 40K fans making a stink about the Adepta Sororitas being functionally like marines (for the most part, there should be obvious factional differences but the baseline stats could be mostly the same and we probably wouldn't care). Allowing female space marines will definitely cause an uproar, because most fans are going to see that as changing things for no damn reason - it's not like you can't find women in literally any other imperial organization!

BiscuitTrouser said:
I dont realy see the issue here, they could get away with combining these factions into "servants of the emperor" and letting people roll space marines or battle sisters. Basically same thing different name. And whats in a name.
Considering I find that entire notion heretical, no they could bloody well not. You can make battle sisters just as good in-game terms as marines, and fanatical 40K fans won't care (I should know, I am a fanatical 40K fan). You CANNOT slap them together and call them two parts of "Servants of the Emperor" - Space Marine chapters and Battle Sister orders are not the same thing at all. True, both organizations serve the Emperor, but the Sororitas are the militant arm of the Ecclesiarchy, and the Astartes are an independent imperial organization in their own right, beholden to no one save the Emperor himself (in theory, in actual practice they have to play nice with others because they rely on the Mechanicus and whatnot). You could create an in-game category called that with clear explanation that the two possible selections are not in fact part of the same group, but actually combining them is grounds for being declared Excommunicate Traitorus, just like adding in female marines would be.

ironduke88 said:
I just want to role my aplha+ psykic inquistor with the power to dissolve entire cities with the power of my mind (although knowing my luck that won't be a playable faction).
Not to burst your bubble, but even supposing the Inquisition is a playable faction, the human mind doesn't seem to be able to handle psychic potential past Beta while remaining sane; essentially all Alpha level psykers are nutjobs, and Alpha+ psykers even more so. Not really going to find them as inquisitors for that reason.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
5,718
0
0
Seems like Cory Rydell and Grey Carter are fans of Scroobius Pip, kudos to you cool cats.
 

BiscuitTrouser

Elite Member
May 19, 2008
2,860
0
41
Onyx Oblivion said:
But if you judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover...that's a good thing. Danny Glover was funny. And he's getting too old for this shit.

That said, so the lore of 40K really does have no females in the marines? I don't follow the series, so...
It does but they arnt literally "space marines". Imagine a warrior priest thats a space marine in all but name reserved only for females. I dont realy see the issue here, they could get away with combining these factions into "servants of the emperor" and letting people roll space marines or battle sisters. Basically same thing different name. And whats in a name.

Warhammer online had no female orks. no one complained there. It was as it was.

I hate being that guy but the comic forgot about sororitas. There are female space marines. They just are not called space marines. Battle sisters. Basically no difference
 

Dhatz

New member
Aug 18, 2009
302
0
0
only 40K game I care about is warhammer: space marines. and what RockPaperShotgun.com commented on it ultramarines are genetically altered supermales who are castrated. I don't give a care about the rest as long as it's a reckless disregard of cover system.
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
5,034
0
0
Put in Sisters of Battle as a functional equivalent of Space Marines. Problem solved. Also, please note that I said "functional equivalent", meaning that I know they are different lore-wise, but are generally on the same side and have roughly the same stats in TT, so it could be used as a workaround for the male-only SM problem.

If there was something to ***** about, then it might as well be the lack of female Chosen in Warhammer Online. The official response was that it wasn't in line with the lore, but the problem is that it IS in line with the lore. Heck, I have a Warhammer book containing a female Chosen (the first Gotrek & Felix book), so it's pretty much completely by the lore.
 

Not-here-anymore

In brightest day...
Nov 18, 2009
3,028
0
0
DTWolfwood said:
Plus i think the Orks would have a problem. I think they just pop out of the ground cause for the life of me i've never read about a female ork.
Actually, they do! There are a few references to them leaving behind ork spores, and the spores becoming new orks. (I don't know if that's been retconned somewhere along the line, I saw that years ago) They really do just pop out of the ground! Orks are plants!

Why would people go space marine? The emperor is just boring. And induced a new dark age, causing technophobia to sweep the imperium to the point that all machinery is venerated as a holy artifact.

Are tau playable? For the greater good? [sub]The greater good...[/sub]
I'd probably go for them or Eldar, if I end up playing a 40K MMO.