Critical Miss: Conan the Barbarian
- Thread starter The Wooster
- Start date
I see what you did there... you're talking about boobs.The_root_of_all_evil said:
I reserve judgement until I actually see the movie but undoubtedly nothing is going to replace the gloriously cheesy old Conan movie. That movie has a legend all its own.
Hot water, good dentishtry, and shoft lavatory paper.Grey Carter said:
To be fair, though, what's a hollywood studio director to do? How's he going to stay above minimum wage? Heaven knows they don't have the creativity over there to do something fresh and new! Oh, no... Remakes are almost the only recourse they have. /sarcasm
I'm shocked that the answer wasn't "Musclebound men in loincloths as the main characters in fantasy action movies making a comeback."(not that they ever really went out of style)! That and Butt Popcorn.
And yet it might work. Certainly not if the character's written the same way as Arnie's, but other than that...Zachary Amaranth said:
I'm inclined to agree. I like the guy and hope he does a good job in the role. It's just that, like so many others, I'm used to the Terminator as Conan.Cain_Zeros said:
To be fair, he/she isn't the only one making that mistake.The Human Torch said:It's buttered popcorn, you muppet.Grouchy Imp said:
I think the artist did it on purpose.
Susan Arendt said:Sovvolf said:Susan Arendt said:Sovvolf said:Susan Arendt said:Isn't that the one where Conan fights the mirror monster? if so DO,... NOT,... SEE!
It does, at least, have some decent eye candy. It's pretty to look at in places.
Are we talking about the set design or that fact that Arnie was still in his physical prime at this point and the flab hadn't started to creep in just yet
Set design and scenery. The effects are definitely weak, but there's some pretty decent glitz in there. I never thought Arnold was even slightly attractive.
I think I know why!
Either,
1. You have had a sixth sense that tells you if a guy will become a cheating idiot who won't use protection.
or
2. A leading man in a movie shouldn't have larger breasts than the women in the film.
Howard created the Hyborian Age over the span of some 4 years: Tolkien was working on Middle-earth for more or less his entire adult life. Of course there's going to be a difference in degree, but I think if Howard lived beyond 1936 and decided to dedicate the rest of his life to Conan (unlikely given how he wrote, but let's go with it) I'm sure he would've created something comparable to Tolkien's creation.dimensional said:
It does look more faithful in that Conan is not enslaved, put to work on a wheel for 20 years, forced into pit-fighting, trained by samurais and freed by his owner in this version. Plus Jason looks more like Conan than Arnold did. It's like saying a rock 99 miles away is closer to you than a rock 100 miles away.w00tage said:
You still seem to have missed the cynical commentary on civilized arrogance and entitlement, the hollowness of the "noble savage" myth and the reality of barbarism, the degenerative effect of stagnating cultures, the futility of man's works in the vastness of existence, and countless other meta-commentaries that are just as present as the film's ideas about hippies, military discipline, eastern mysticism, bushido, man being built by being destroyed and so forth.Falseprophet said:
Somehow I think we've had this conversation before, though.
The thing is, that alleged formula (which only describes a fraction of the Conan stories) could easily apply to every other Sword-and-Sorcery hero in existence. Evidently there's something in Howard's stories beyond the simplistic formula you put forward here, otherwise the tales of Ator, Elak, Brak, Jongor and Thongor would be just as popular as Conan.
Well, I saw the trailer and it looks a hell of a lot better than Conan the Barbarian could ever hope to be. As for those that doubt Drogo being able to do a good Conan, rewatch the series, specially the scene where he shows who the fuck is the boss and then come back to me.
That face she's making at the end. That was my face to some of the new movies coming out when I was last at the theater.
She ran out of space on the bucket to draw it on. Although I think she probably chuckled when she realised what she had done, but I doubt that it was done purposely.Imp Emissary said:To be fair, he/she isn't the only one making that mistake.The Human Torch said:It's buttered popcorn, you muppet.Grouchy Imp said:
I think the artist did it on purpose.
They referenced each others work in their own stories, like easter eggs.rossatdi said:
If the movie is indeed closer to the books, then by that alone it will be a better movie than the 80s ones.
Hmmmm....Maybe, but its not like this is the artist's first comic. I find it hard to believe that anyone would have made a mistake that simple.The Human Torch said:She ran out of space on the bucket to draw it on. Although I think she probably chuckled when she realised what she had done, but I doubt that it was done purposely.Imp Emissary said:To be fair, he/she isn't the only one making that mistake.The Human Torch said:It's buttered popcorn, you muppet.Grouchy Imp said:
I think the artist did it on purpose.
Maybe it was a mistake at first, but I think it was planed. It fits with the rest of the comic saying you're not going to have a good time watching this movie.
Like when all the people in that last one said that the strawberry smoothies were bullshit, and the smothies were all drawn brown.
I mean, what could be worse than Butt Popcorn at a bad movie?