Criticize Your All Time Favorite Game...HARSHLY

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Drops a Sweet Katana

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Minecraft - Minecraft is not at all friendly to the CPU, especially when you have mods like Optifine which can increase the render distance. Enchanting and using anvils are both needlessly tedious because of experience. Add to that, enchanting is RANDOM and doesn't tell you what enchantments you're going to get. Add to THAT, you can't unenchant stuff. This means that more often than not, you will spend 30 levels on experience to enchant your diamond sword and end up with something like Sharpness II or Knockback II which could have been obtained by using second tier enchantments which cost HALF AS MUCH! This is why I never use it in survival.

Gal Civ 2 - The combat essentially boils down to a numbers game as opposed to any kind of strategy. It really does detract from an otherwise spectacular game.

Human Revolution - The boss fights were GOD-FUCKING-AWFUL and deteract from the game as a whole. There's no option to use hacking, stealth or social skills that you had acquired earlier on. Instead, each boss fight involves exploiting some stupid gimmick in a tight arena like throwing exploding barrels and gas cannisters, or shooting cooling systems to electrocute them.

Mass Effect - Texture pop-ins were incredibly irritating, especially in conversations. The combat was clunky. There was not variety in the weapons, literally just a palette swap, name change and stat change. The uncharted worlds were not terribly good and were essentially just random heightmaps with one ground texture and a few assets thrown around for objectives. The skill tree, if you can it that, was filled with small stats boosts that weren't noticeable.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Daystar Clarion said:
Okami.

It's already a rather long game, it wasn't really necessary to have a room devoted to fighting all the bosses again to pad it out -_-


...

...

That's all I can think of :D
I can think of how I hated Issun walking me through the entire game (specially while replaying it), explaining everything and generally behaving like Captain Obvious while denying me a single solitary moment of intelligent thought; I also hated how the Celestial Brush techniques weren't as rich and diverse as I woul've liked them to be, and how some were hardly ever recognized when I drew them, too. The boss rush in the end wasn't so bad, but I didn't like the sudden inclusion of futuristic elements in the game (the Ark, Yami).
 

Baron von Blitztank

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MediEvil:
Fuck the platforming in this game and HARD! One walk in the wrong direction and you've lost a health bar! How great that this game has not one, but TWO levels of thin walkways with instant death sludge and bombs in chests which explode and launch you uncontrollably halfway across the map!
Then we have the Ant Caves. One very large dull maze-like area with only one type of enemy to fight (who constantly respawn) and two flavours of "collect the thing" side missions. Better yet, you can barely see shit in those tunnels and they all look the same, all culminating in a tedious boss fight which drags on forever!
The final boss is just completely unchallenging. Three fights of different varieties and all of them suck! First one is running around zapping dudes, draining your health until they kill the other dudes (and it isn't explained as to why you can't just run around and blast fuckers with the flaming longbow like they owe you money). Even better that they have ZERO strategy other than to stand infront of the bad guys and hit them like a beginners match of Street Fighter. The final two fights boil down to "Wait for shield to drop and hit shit" and by this stage you'll have so many health bottles that you'll just be shitting green ether wherever you go.

And that is my favourite game of all time!
 

Knight Captain Kerr

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Fallout: New Vegas:
- Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs.
-Lookswise the engine hasn't dated well.
-Some skills just aren't worth it.
-Vats isn't good.
-Lack of J.E Sawyer mod on ps3. It looks like it adds a lot to the game.
-Quite a bit of cut content due to publisher deadlines.
-Character customization leaves something to be desired.

Morrowind:
-Escorting NPCs. "Hey wait for me! Hey wait for me! Hey wait for me! Hey wait for me! Hey wait for me! Hey wait for me!"
-Using magic is like trying to fly a 747. It might be good if you know how to use it but I'm terrible with it. For me it is the same with Daggerfall and Arena. I'm better off just using long blade and marksman.
-Cliff racers.
-Dreugh and slaughterfish, the cliff racers of the sea.
-You are so slow at the start. Boots of Blinding Speed really are a must have.
-The fourth and fifth trial quests.
-Fargoth.
-Hair and face options are terrible.
 

Spitfire

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The Longest Journey

- Gameplay is simply atrocious, and the graphics could seriously do with a face-lift.


Homeworld

- Some of the in-game cutscenes are really uninspired. I mean, a dialogue scene, where one ship orbits the other, in order to show that the pilots are conversing? Really guys, that was the best that you could come up with?

- Let me get this straight. You got every element of 3D navigation right, but you didn't include camera movement, otherwise one of the most basic features of RTS games?

- The ending credits song is completely out of place.


Mass Effect

- Planets that don't have story-critical missions are boring as hell.

- The main plot is full of contrivances and plot holes, and many of the minor characters are badly written.
 

Lola Lazerface

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Nov 26, 2012
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Red Dead Redemption so fucking much.

The writing is overall stellar... except for a number of profoundly embarrassing missteps. Some scenes will have wonderfully subtle symbolism and/or subtext going, which Houser then proceeds to skullfuck completely. An example is the scene in which Marston (after the player has traveled on horseback for dozens of hours) sits in a car with the agents that have pressured him into going after his former partners, and there's a strong contrast between the characters as they represent not only different eras but, more importantly, the bitter transition between them. Then the car breaks down, and the whole fucking scene goes Three Stooges in a heartbeat. I felt like Houser was reaching through my screen, grabbing me by the hair to pull my face up against the magic people box and yelling "HEY SHITHEAD. YOU SEE THE POINT, RIGHT? THIS IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO CONVEY, YOU DUMB FUCK. LOOK AT IT. LOOK".

At other points the fuckups felt more timid and half-assed, such as the inclusion of Seth the necrophiliac:
"Let's include some comic relief Old West caricature so as to compensate for the mouthbreathers' confusion every time characters get philosophical." "But this is a mature game goddammit, so we're not actually going to make him funny because that would ruin the atmosphere." The compromise was easily the worst option of the three or so.


And I still love RDR to death.
 

Ljs1121

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Majora's Mask.

The camera has a tendency to dissolve upon itself, the movement is incredibly sloppy (even more so when wearing transformation masks or the Bunny Hood), the game is pretty short, and the whole 3-day thing gets very old after the first few cycles.

That being said, it is still an absolutely amazing game in my opinion.
 

Platypus540

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May 11, 2011
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Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War OR Ace Combat 5: Squadron Leader (in Europe)

Disclaimer: This is an incredibly good game, phenomenal gameplay and story (also pleasantly surprisingly anti-war for a game where you play as a soldier), legitimately useful AI wingmen, I cared about the characters, truly stunning soundtrack, lots of levels and unlockables, and extremely good graphics (for the time). If you have a PS2, then you absolutely MUST buy this game.




But the criticism:
About 50% of the story-relevant dialogue (i.e. anything other than "Fox two!" or "Engaging!") ranges from cheesy to cringe-worthy. This is because they sort of half-assed the translation from Japanese to English, and it really takes away from the experience sometimes.

There are no checkpoints, which usually isn't an issue, but most boss/precision-flying missions have a non-bossfight part first, and if you die in the boss fight, you still have to replay the entire level. This can get really annoying, especially on higher difficulties.

Some of the levels are just really annoyingly designed. For example, a bossfight in which you must fly only inside a canyon system, though the enemies can fly over the walls to get behind you or escape.

Several story threads that explain a lot of the politics and why the war started are only explained in a prequel game released a few years later (Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War).
 

Platypus540

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bug_of_war said:
-snip for wall o' text-
Nice to see someone else who actually liked the ending, although I do intend to give extended cut a go, I'd rather have some more closure in the end.

By the way, to make spoiler tags type [spo iler] and end them with [/spoi ler], just without the spaces. To change the text type [spo iler= blahblahblah] for the first, then end the same way.
 

bug_of_war

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Platypus540 said:
bug_of_war said:
Nice to see someone else who actually liked the ending, although I do intend to give extended cut a go, I'd rather have some more closure in the end.

By the way, to make spoiler tags type [spo iler] and end them with [/spoi ler], just without the spaces. To change the text type [spo iler= blahblahblah] for the first, then end the same way.
Cheers dude. And looking back at my post, the extended cut isn't that bad, I just got pissed at the dude for being a neckbeard and crying over something without actually giving reasons (Which is basically why the internet was made but hey...).
 

Hemlet

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Jul 31, 2009
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Jet Force Gemini: That Fetch Quest. Yes, THAT fetch quest. If you've played through to the end, you know the one I'm talking about. Fuck that fetch quest.

Morrowind: It's possible to get filthy rich and stupidly powerful within an hour of starting the game.

D&D: Finding a time frame to be able to actually play is a giant pain in the dick,

Evochron Mercenary: The heavily anticipated expansion released today, soo...

-Terrain Walkers are a novelty at best; it still isn't worth it to head down to a planet, even if it is cool that you can.

-Combat was already difficult to learn, now the AI is so hyper-aggressive that they will accelerate to ludicrous speed just so they can spam more missiles at you.

-While it is better in the long run that the AI has been improved, it is VERY aggravating to have to re-learn combat all over again, as the old "strafe and murder" tactic simply does not work anymore.

-Weapons burn through way more energy than they used to, meaning even a solitary target will take one or two passes unless you're managing your energy very well.

-The sheer number of enemies in some areas combined with the new AI mean that some of the Warzones are actually easier than regular space!

-The ships don't handle quite as tightly as they used to. Yes it makes it feel like you're actually steering a spaceship now, but it bugs me that it takes even longer to turn, even with a relatively agile frame.

-Stations have been redesigned so that you have to jump in at either a very odd angle or at the 180 degree heading, which is counter-intuitive because every gate pops you out at the 0 heading.

-You now have to confirm selling things when you left click on them in your inventory, by clicking "ok" in a completely separate window.

-The last two points combined legitimately piss me right the fuck off. I can deal with all the other parts, but the last two make it so that trading is an even slower process, and not for a good reason. It's one thing for travel time to sometimes take a bit, it's another thing entirely when the game is actively trying to waste my time by making me arbitrarily adjust my heading, and then either: slow down to eliminate unwanted drift, jump, and miss the hangar entrance because the angle was off OR sit at the 180 degree heading and wait until I've drifted far enough away from the last jumpgate to activate my jump drive. After either of those, THEN I get to click on my items and then "ok" over and over and over again to sell them? NO. BAD DEVELOPER. BAD. NO. I don't care if the hangars look way better now, the time required to do a full trade run has been effectively doubled for no other reason than baffling design and menu shenanigans.

-The Weapons Lab forces most of the weapons (even some of the more powerful ones) strictly into "something to use until I collect the materials I want" status.

-Weapon impacts seem to shake you around even more now. Combined with hyper-aggressive, swarm-tactic loving, and now very very accurate enemies, and you'll often find yourself in situations where your HUD is completely unreadable because of all the shaking.

-Capital Ships either no longer drop machine parts or metal when they're destroyed, or they're very reluctant to, which is damn unfortunate because machine parts and metal are both needed to build anything in the Weapons Lab.

-Counter measures are less effective, the shield recharger has officially been demoted to "not worth using", and the afterburner overdrive has been made even MORE useless than it was before.
 

Zeles

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Oct 3, 2009
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Alright. Let's do this.

Kingdom Hearts 2
-Aeris's voice actor is horrible.
-The tutorial is overly long.
-The second trip to worlds are usually padding
-The story never moves forward in Disney Worlds
-I never felt like Donald and Goofy ever really helped me in combat
-The thing that counts how many drive forms to anti form was invisible.

Fallout New Vegas
-All the crashing
-The strip wasn't really that big
-It sort of pushes you really hard to the east route to Vegas
-The Legion is pretty much just blatantly evil. The first time the game wants you to see them is in Nipton, which just eliminated any question in my mind that I would side with them.

Bastion
-It got really hard to see your targets sometimes
-No backtracking
-No saved games
-The challenges were really tough
 

Madara XIII

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Ljs1121 said:
Majora's Mask.

The camera has a tendency to dissolve upon itself, the movement is incredibly sloppy (even more so when wearing transformation masks or the Bunny Hood), the game is pretty short, and the whole 3-day thing gets very old after the first few cycles.

That being said, it is still an absolutely amazing game in my opinion.
I personally think there were also some serious slowdowns at some points in the game with the bunny hood. Especially in terms of Combat.

I think the biggest Problem I saw this with was Odalwa whenever the screen was swamped with enemies
 

dangoball

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Jun 20, 2011
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No one mentioned Baldur's Gate yet? Then here I go!

Baldur's Gate 2
I can talk about this one without spoiler tags, right? Right.

You know I love you, BG2. I love even Anomen, that arrogant prick most of my female characters romanced. But there are some things about you that I really hate. Like:

- Lack of thief NPC! Imoen? Can't improve her thieving skills and can't keep up with traps and locks after Spellhold. Nalia is even worse than Imoen and an annoying ***** to boot. Yoshimo? That fucker goes and gets himself permanently killed halfway through the game. Jan Jensen? Oh god, no more! No more turnips! He was funny on first two or three playthroughs, but is he a pain in the ass! And I don't want to play thief again! I want to try others fun stuff, like monk! (thank you Shadowkeeper for letting me make Imoen a working thief)
- I die and game over? Why? And don't tell me it's because I lose that spark of Bhaal. Imoen deserves a discount at church for reviving, as Sarevok points out, and still has enough Bhaal essence to bring that mean son-of-a-god back to life.
- Beholers Lair in Underdark. You either have Shield of Balduran and Aerie can solo that place, or you don't and your party is fucked if you don't rest after every encounter.
- New party member at the beginning of ToB? Fuck you, I have my six! Why did you have to make Sarevok so awesome to make me want to go through SoA with a party of five?
- oh and fucking long duration on crowd control spells like Chaos, waiting for my fighter to stop trying to kill my mage for two minutes after the encounter is over gets really annoying.
- Not importing Xan from the first game. I mean, seriously, that guy was awesome! And he's even in the tutorial party...



Ken_J said:
Bastion

- The combat is repetitive
- Enemies are the types that are annoyingly difficult or difficulty annoying
- Half the weapons you get will just take up space in favor of the Pike and Hammer for Melee and Pistols and Carbine for range.
- Sometimes the screen get so cluttered you have no idea were to go.

But that Presentation, MMmmm! so good.
I'll have to disagree with you on those weapons. Preferences and opinions, you see ;) I never used Hammer or Pistols much and with all ten idols active you need some DoT (machete, fire bellows, breaker's bow) to prevent regeneration and musket is plain fun if you don't use all idols. Carbine is one of the best weapons, though, and mortar is completely useless in my opinion.
 

epidemia

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Nov 24, 2012
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Shadow of the colossus is so fucking boring, most of the time all you do is ride the horse around and theres literally nothing else to do but look at the scenery.

One of the first things I noticed about Dark souls is how awkward it is. Lets not even delve into the atrocious camera controls. I dont think Ive ever seen such a lifeless and dull main character in a videogame in my life. No matter how much time you spend on the character creation screen you will always get a generic shell of a person devoid of anything remotely resembling personality. And what the serious fuck is up with that animation that plays when you try to use an unusable item?
 

corneth

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Zeles said:
Alright. Let's do this.

Bastion
-No backtracking
-No saved games
These two really got to me. Multiple save slots and backtracking should be mandatory requirements in a game. Still really like it though.
 

laggyteabag

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Halo: Combat Evolved
- Too much backtracking, basically playing the first half of the game again, just with Flood enemies too
- The ghost wont hurt people when you drive into them, instead it drives THROUGH them... WTF
- The Library is boring as hell
- Anniversary edition has horrible frame rate issues when in Anniversary mode
- Pistol was WAAAAAYY too overpowered
- All of the interesting weapons and vehicles exploded after you killed the enemy holding it, eg Energy Sword, Fuel Rod gun, Wraith Tank

Honourable mention Mass Effect
- Gunplay is boring as hell
- Classes are indistinguishable, and boring to play
- AI partners are stupid, walking into combat and getting gunned down quickly
- Mako handles like a drunk elephant, and cannot drive over a slight bump without flipping
- DLC is boring as hell
- Most main quest hubs are boring to play in
- Armour looks awful and hilarious
- Film Grain by default
 

Glover09

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This may take some time as I have a few favorites.

NES:
RC Pro Am- No checkpoints, cheap as hell, and resets upgrades after collecting 'NINTENDO'.
Rad Racer 2- No saves or codes, hard after Level 1, sounds get annoying quickly.

SNES:
Battleship- Classic game was boring, FUCK YOU SUBMARINES!
Donkey Kong Country- Giant Bee Boss, go die in a fire!

PS1:
WWF Games- The graphics. Dear god, my eyes still bleed.
Gran Turismo- Physics a bit off, music sucked.
Jarrett & Labonte (US Race Driver)- VERY repetitive, fairly easy if you could stay on track.

PS2:
Kingdom Hearts- Story along the lines of a rejected movie, boring space runs.
Kingdom Hearts 2- KH1 writer kept his job apparently, over-the-top attack moves, rediculously overpowered team attacks, Xemnas's FUCKING LAZER KILL SPHERE!
Burnout 3- Repitition gets blatant after 2 lap of tour.
GT3- No Racing Modifications.
GT4- No Racing modifications, points are useless, AI driver is crap 80% of the time with equal equipment.
WWE Crush Hour- Fun concept is about as entertaining to watch as actual wrestling this side of 2004.
NFS Underground 2- Rewards rediculousness.
GTA San Andreas- I don't want these clingy, useless women you refer to as 'girlfriends'. Possible reason I stay single.
SW Battlefront 2- Hoth can be way too easy, Space IS way too easy, AI is dumb as hell, Request to the Emperor, Please eliminate Polis Massa from existence.
Warship Gunner 2- Story is hard to follow, text-box dialogue, various jumps in difficulty, various jumps in enemy quality.

PS3:
Burnout Paradise- More fun driving and crashing than actually racing.
Brids of Steel- Targeting system needs LOTS of work.
Race Driver GRID- Bring online back, needed more events.
Dirt series- More events, more distinction, less Gymkhana.
Midnight Club LA- boring to infuriating in 3.8 seconds.
 

Ljs1121

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Madara XIII said:
Ljs1121 said:
Majora's Mask.

The camera has a tendency to dissolve upon itself, the movement is incredibly sloppy (even more so when wearing transformation masks or the Bunny Hood), the game is pretty short, and the whole 3-day thing gets very old after the first few cycles.

That being said, it is still an absolutely amazing game in my opinion.
I personally think there were also some serious slowdowns at some points in the game with the bunny hood. Especially in terms of Combat.

I think the biggest Problem I saw this with was Odalwa whenever the screen was swamped with enemies
Oh, yes, I completely forgot about the slowdowns somehow.

At certain points, it was almost unplayable. I distinctly remember Clock Town and Woodfall in particular making my game explode.
 

alphamalet

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Nonomori said:
I only agree with "color pallet is very limited". Wander can endure the majority of falls, and you can jump and grab Agro. But maybe that's because this is one of the few games that I learned to play very well.

A few more:

-The fifteenth colossus is quite buggy.
-Time attack has inconsistent difficulty.
-Radar for fruits and lizards are quite inaccurate.
-So much pop-in.
I think is a far better critique than the previous poster, but I have to ask, how is the 15th colossus bugged? In my 10+ play throughs I never ran into any issues.