Holy shit. This guy is so totally unjustified in doing this.
People are saying that you need to have a "Don't be a brat" talk with your kids and teach them a lesson. Instead of this bullshit macho bravado parenting fantasy you could just do it the hard way and raise your damn kids well in the first place instead of doing something dramatic, over the top and childish like this that only breeds hatred in your kid for you. You think his daughter saw this and went "Oh, wow, yeah, I see how I was wrong and ungrateful, I'll try and be better from now on!"? Fuck no! She probably freaked out that her dad was such a gun-toting neanderthal.
Things like this don't teach anyone anything, it just breeds lament and distrust between parent and child - Especially since the dad CLEARLY went behind his daughter's back on this. He "came by" her facebook post after admitting he was an IT expert? Things like this do not help your kid trust you! A lying, conniving parent who pulls of scare tactics like this is not going to do any good.
I especially like the way he insinuates she was being rebellious and looking for attention as he unloads into her laptop to make a point - He couldn't be more of a hypocrite! Why the hell do you think she's like that if this guy is her dad?
If my parents ever caught me making a bitchy, bratty post like this they'd probably just sit me down and tell me it was a shitty thing to do and ask what the hell was I thinking.
Besides, any good parent would know that if the girl's bitching about her parents on facebook where they can't see it, it's because she wants to be cool in front of her friends. Damn it, it's all stemming from insecurity which this whole damn event is just going to aggravate. These things aren't easy with teenage girls, life is pretty tough when you're part of the group of people that most frequently experiences depression! (Not that I am one, but it's true)
My point is that this doesn't teach a lesson. Okay, maybe it teaches "Don't fuck with your dad, missy." But who does that help? Well done, you've intimidated your teenage daughter. You should get a fucking medal. It doesn't let the kid know why what she did was wrong, it doesn't help the parents understand their kid and more importantly, it just broadens the gap between parents and kids. Is this the man she'd go to with a problem? Is this the dad she seeks comfort from, she'd tell a secret to, she'd confide in? No, this is the just the jerk-off who used an actual firearm to intimidate his daughter.
I'm no fan of guns but I see their necessity in certain situations and as the OP said, they are a tool, not a toy. This childish brand of coercion tactics is not the appropriate usage of a live firearm.
It actually worries how many people consider this to be a liable parenting tactic. It's not because it scares the girl, yes she was mostly in the wrong here, this is not a liable parenting tactic because it
doesn't fucking help. She is more than likely just going to end up trying to get back at her parents at some point, or being too scared to do so and harboring fear and resentment for them on some level for years.
I guarantee that one day this guy will be sitting alone in an old house or retirement home with his gun wondering why the hell his kids never call, and damn straight, too.
I hate bratty kids as much as anyone else, probably more than most (not a kid person), but I hate idiotic parents who care more about looking cool than doing the right thing even moreso.
Ramzal said:
If you can't get a point across to your kid with your own voice and reasoning, and you KNOW they are in the wrong then you have failed your child as a parent. If you need to use a weapon to prove a point to that child after that you have failed harder because of showing your kids a lack of restraint, and showing you have all the power because you gave birth to them and you hold that weapon. There is nothing that will come of this but resentment. And I wouldn't blame Hanna.
Taking away the laptop or selling it would have been fine enough. Use of a weapon is not acceptable parenting for TEACHING A CHILD A LESSON.
Exactly right. I totally agree with what you're saying in this thread.
JoesshittyOs said:
He was never careless with the weapon, he wasn't using it violently towards any person, and he was safe with it the entire time.
From a psychological standpoint, he basically used the gun to threaten his daughter, so he sort of did use it towards someone.
I'm not saying that the exact circumstance he used the weapon in is the worst thing - I don't even think that's what the OP is talking about. Rather, this circumstance demonstrates how flippantly the man uses a gun. It demonstrates a mindset I find very, very worrying. If this is what the guy will do in a premeditated manner when he's pissed about something his little girl did, who knows how far he'll go if it's an act of passion? Throw a small amount of alcohol in there, and what are the limits? How do we know that in a heated argument he won't whip this shit out and blast a hole in the ceiling out of anger?
Like I said, if this is what people will do in a calm, calculated manner with guns (use it as a scare tactic because their daughter said something rude) then it's a pretty scary indication of what people would do with guns when they aren't calm or calculated. It's even more worrying how many people see this as justified an logical.
