Daily Mail-o-matic

[Professor James]

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

Just use this and it generates a potential headline from the daily mail. Post your favorites, mine was WILL THE INTERNET INFECT YOUR PENSION WITH AIDS?

 

[Kopikatsu]

IS YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL GIVING YOUR MORTGAGE CANCER?

Absolutely. Too many liberals spoils my investment.

 

[hazabaza1]

COULD RIP-OFF BRITAIN RIP OFF THE ROYAL FAMILY?
Couldn't make this shit up. Except that The Daily Mail does.

 

[Catfood220]

Not sure this could come up with anything more alarmist than The Daily Mail already does. But lets give it a go.

"HAVE THE FRENCH GIVEN BRITAIN'S SWANS DIABETES"

I stand corrected.

 

[Weaver]

Mine says "ARE IMMIGRANTS HURTING THE CHURCH?"
We don't have the daily mail here, but from what I know of them that seems like exactly something they would print.

Also, just because it's really funny
"WILL TWITTER HAVE SEX WITH CLIFF RICHARD?"

 

[zidine100]

WILL YOBS HAVE SEX WITH YOUR CHILDREN?

Well will they?

 

[Platypus540]

I liked "WILL CANCER GIVE YOU CANCER?" myself, and "WILL TEENAGE SEX CAUSE DIABETES?" because that seems like something they'd actually print.

 

[Charli]

HAVE HOODIES HAD SEX WITH HOUSE PRICES?



I DON'T KNOW I'M SCARED. D:

 

[lacktheknack]

COULD LESBIANS KILL HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

Well... they could...

IS DUMBING-DOWN IMPREGNATING HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

Yes, without a doubt. This thing likes hard-working families.

WILL PAEDOPHILES CHEAT COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?

Uh...

WILL WORKING MOTHERS TURN THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY GAY?

This is one of those rare generators where every single result I get is gold.

ARE HOODIES GIVING THE QUEEN SWINE FLU?

WILL MUSLIMS MAKE YOUR CHILDREN OBESE?

WILL FERAL CHILDREN IMPREGNATE HOME OWNERS?

 

[Reincarnatedwolfgod]

WILL LESBIANS TURN COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY GAY?
... that is just ridiculous

IS FILTH ON TELEVISION GIVING YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?
it probably is to some extent

 

[idarkphoenixi]

ARE CHAVS MOLESTING ENGLAND?

ARE MUSLIMS MOLESTING YOUR PETS?

WILL THE UNEMPLOYED INFECT BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY WITH AIDS?

Yes, yes to everything!

 

[CpT_x_Killsteal]

Oh god I love this already
Could the French make England Gay?

Oh god am I gonna have fun with this.

 

[Xdeser2]

COULD LESBIANS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF BRITAIN'S SWANS?

ARE MUSLIMS GIVING HOUSE PRICES DIABETES?

COULD LESBIANS TAX THE MIDDLE CLASS?

HAVE PAEDOPHILES BURGLED YOUR PETS?

HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM GIVEN PENSIONERS SWINE FLU?

COULD GYPSIES MOLEST YOUR HOUSE?

COULD FERAL CHILDREN MAKE THE MEMORY OF DIANA OBESE?

WILL PAEDOPHILES HAVE SEX WITH BRITISH JUSTICE?

Son of a *****...

This is the best thing ever invented in the history of mankind xD

 

[Agayek]

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

Just use this and it generates a potential headline from the daily mail. Post your favorites, mine was WILL THE INTERNET INFECT YOUR PENSION WITH AIDS?

ARE GYPSIES HAVE SEX WITH THE COUNTRYSIDE?

That was my first one, and I can honestly say it's not going to get any better.

 

[WoW Killer]

WILL CHAVS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

HAVE FOXES TAXED MIDDLE BRITAIN?

COULD YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL KILL CLIFF RICHARD?

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM CHEATING YOUR PENSION?

HAS THE BBC KILLED THE QUEEN?

Can't... stop... clicking...

 

[Berithil]

ARE ASYLUM SEEKERS BURGLING PROPERTY PRICES?

COULD FACEBOOK GIVE HOUSE PRICES SWINE FLU?

COULD TEENAGE SEX GIVE PENSIONERS CANCER?
Now, I don't know a whole lot about the Daily Mail, but these are hilarious.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

COULD THE NANNY STATE MAKE HARD-WORKING FAMILIES IMPOTENT?

WILL HEALTH & SAFETY KILL THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

COULD HEALTH & SAFETY INFECT ENGLAND WITH AIDS?

WILL PAEDOPHILES HAVE SEX WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS?

COULD THE NANNY STATE DESTROY BRITAIN'S FARMERS?

ARE FOXES MOLESTING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

COULD LESBIANS BURGLE COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?

Some of these sound like actual headlines.
Others are pure hilarity.

My favorite: Is rip-off Britain taxing taxpayers?

 

[dumbseizure]

Oh shit.

HAVE ASYLUM SEEKERS HAD SEX WITH THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

WILL THE GERMANS TURN YOUR CHILDREN GAY?

WILL TEENAGE SEX GIVE YOUR PETS CANCER?

I lost all of my shit.

 

[A Username Not In Use]

COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM TAX TAXPAYERS' MONEY?

You cannot tell me the Daily Mail hasn't done that one before

 

[BlackFlyme]

My God, this is the greatest generator I've ever come across!

Spoiler: some gems I found

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM STEALING THE IDENTITY OF COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?

ARE THE GERMANS STEALING THE IDENTITY OF HOMEOWNERS?

COULD THE LABOUR PARTY DESTROY ENGLAND?

COULD WORKING MOTHERS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF ENGLAND?

IS THE EURO DEVALUING THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?

COULD FILTH ON TELEVISION GIVE BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY DIABETES?

HAVE THE FRENCH TAXED YOUR DAUGHTERS?

ARE THE FRENCH GIVING CLIFF RICHARD SWINE FLU?

HAVE MUSLIMS STOLEN THE IDENTITY OF THE QUEEN?

WE HAVE THESE CONSPIRACY THEORIES "STORIES" AND MORE!

edit: found some more good ones:
HAVE CHAVS RUINED COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
WILL LESBIANS INFECT YOU WITH AIDS?
COULD CANCER MOLEST BRITISH JUSTICE?
WILL GAYS HAVE SEX WITH BRITAIN'S FARMERS?

The header's kind of funny too:

"It's that simple - this gives you a new Daily Mail headline every time you click the button. Scientists say it can prevent cancer. Or cause it. They're not sure."

Also, best headline is best: HAS THE BBC DESTROYED YOUR CHILDREN?