Daily Mail-o-matic

Varrdy

New member
Feb 25, 2010
875
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COULD PAEDOPHILES HAVE SEX WITH THE COUNTRYSIDE?

Hopefully...I'd sooner a tree get fucked than a child, personally!
 

Sassafrass

This is a placeholder
Legacy
Aug 24, 2009
51,250
1
3
Country
United Kingdom
AC10 said:
Also, just because it's really funny
"WILL TWITTER HAVE SEX WITH CLIFF RICHARD?"
I totally would if I was Twitter.

OT:

"COULD FEMINISM TURN THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?"
"HAS THE LABOUR PARTY GIVEN YOU CANCER?"
"COULD LESBIANS CHEAT THE QUEEN?"

So...I'm gonna start a newspaper with this, be right back.
 

Colonel Mustard

New member
Jun 2, 2010
120
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HAVE TEACHERS GIVEN THE BRITISH PEOPLE DIABETES?

COULD THE BBC HAVE SEX WITH HOMEOWNERS?

WILL TEACHERS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

HAS THE MMR JAB MOLESTED THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

I...I just can't stop clicking on the button...
 

Longstreet

New member
Jun 16, 2012
705
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This one i got while just pressing the link;
WILL GYPSIES CHEAT THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

But ofcourse i had to press the refresh button, and this was the result;
HAS FEMINISM RIPPED OFF YOUR PENSION?

And since i didnt want this to end with on a feminist note, here's a third;
HAS HEALTH & SAFETY BURGLED YOUR HOUSE?
 

Skeleon

New member
Nov 2, 2007
5,410
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WILL FERAL CHILDREN GIVE THE MEMORY OF DIANA SWINE FLU?

Depends on whether they were raised by boars, I guess...?
 

Calibanbutcher

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2009
1,702
8
43
HAS THE LABOUR PARTY HAD SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY

COULD LESBIANS HAVE SEX WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY?

HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN BRITIS JUSTICE AIDS?

WILL TWITTER TURN BRITISH PEOPLE GAY?


Tune in for these fantastic stories and more, only on DMTV1-news at eleven.
 

Sethzard

Megalomaniac
Dec 22, 2007
1,820
0
0
Country
United Kingdom
HAVE CYCLISTS HAD SEX WITH TAXPAYERS?
COULD THE E.U. TURN THE CHURCH GAY?
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PENSION?
WILL SINGLE MOTHERS TAX THE MEMORY OF DIANA?

These are all headlines that I wouldn't be surprised to see in the daily malicious. I'm surprised I haven't seen many slagging off doctors though.

Also, I think
ARE GAYS HAVING SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
was really printed by them at one point.
 

Andy Shandy

Fucked if I know
Jun 7, 2010
4,797
0
0
Oh man, I'm in love with this thing already.

HAS FACEBOOK RUINED PENSIONERS?

HAVE WORKING MOTHERS KILLED BRITAIN'S FARMERS?

COULD PAEDOPHILES KILL HOMEOWNERS?

COULD CYCLISTS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?

IS BINGE DRINKING MOLESTING THE QUEEN?

HAS TEENAGE SEX MADE DRIVERS OBESE?

Some of these are just fantastic.
 

kailus13

Soon
Mar 3, 2013
4,568
0
0
HAVE MUSLIMS SCROUNGED OFF TAXPAYERS?
HAVE THE FRENCH GIVEN YOUR PENSION SWINE FLU?
WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT HURT PROPERTY PRICES?
HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM DEFRAUDED ENGLAND?

and my personal favourite: WILL LESBIANS RIP OFF PENSIONERS?

I think the muslims one will actually be used at some point.

Has anyone posted the ""read it in the daily mail" video yet?
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
Legacy
Oct 29, 2010
18,157
2
3
Country
UK
The first headline loaded when I clikced the link made me lol-
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS GIVE CLIFF RICHARD SWINE FLU?

And is what I got when I refresh the page-
COULD FERAL CHILDREN STEAL THE IDENTITY OF BRITISH JUSTICE?
 

Nouw

New member
Mar 18, 2009
15,615
0
0
IS THE BBC MAKING BRITAIN'S SWANS OBESE?

I really want to know now...
 

grey_space

Magnetic Mutant
Apr 16, 2012
455
0
0
Man this is a gift and a half...


IS THE INTERNET MOLESTING BRITAIN'S SWANS?

When will the trolls stop?

HAVE FOXES DEFRAUDED THE COUNTRYSIDE?
Well, it is kinda in their nature, sneaky foxes...


ARE IMMIGRANTS GIVING YOUR CHILDREN DIABETES?
They come in here, take our jobs, earn our money, buy our children sweets...

ARE FEMINISTS GIVING TAXPAYERS DIABETES?
Because those damn feminists, so damn sweet!
 

Soviet Steve

New member
May 23, 2009
1,511
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0
WILL THE E.U. INFECT THE ROYAL FAMILY WITH AIDS?
Sounds like a conspiracy theory they would run with.

HAVE IMMIGRANTS KILLED THE QUEEN?
Try asking her.

IS YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL HAVING SEX WITH THE QUEEN?
Why are all of mine about the EU, queen or royal family? >_>

WILL THE P.C. BRIGADE MOLEST THE ROYAL FAMILY?
The royal family certainly gets around.

IS THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH MAKING PROPERTY PRICES OBESE?
This headline must have more dimensions to it than I can comprehend.

HAS THE E.U. GIVEN BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
Would be cheaper to just shoot them I think.

COULD FILTH ON TELEVISION GIVE THE CHURCH SWINE FLU?
Most likely.

Joyous generator, bookmarked it!
 

Skeleon

New member
Nov 2, 2007
5,410
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0
While this isn't about the Daily Mail, it's another random phrase generator, so it should be pertinent to this thread: The Deepak Chopra Quote Generator - for your dose of pseudo-intellectual, random, yet somehow enlightened-sounding nonsense.

http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/

"Experiential truth grows through intricate balance"

"The unpredictable belongs to new mortality"

"The web of life relies on spontaneous possibilities"

"Everything arises and subsides in reckless potentiality"

"Good health transcends the doorway to timelessness"

It sounds deep and you get to interpret it yourself to mean whatever you want! Because just like its role model, its phrases are ultimately meaningless.
 

Gearhead mk2

New member
Aug 1, 2011
19,999
0
0
COULD HEALTH & SAFETY MAKE DRIVERS IMPOTENT?
Oh dear god what.
MrTwo said:
I would also suggest the David Blunkett Policy Maker.
http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/blunkett/
I actually live in the UK and I don't know who he is either, but this is great too.
"Arrest teenagers, and then detain them indefinitely under the Terrorism Act. And charge them for it."
 

Blunderboy

New member
Apr 26, 2011
2,224
0
0
Ah man I loved this thing back in the day.

HAS THE INTERNET GIVEN YOUR PENSION CANCER?

Wait, would that not mean I'd get more pension? Thanks internet. :D

COULD BINGE DRINKING STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR HOUSE?
Damn you binge drinking!
 

Geo Da Sponge

New member
May 14, 2008
2,611
0
0
I got quite a few funny, ridiculous ones, but I'd like to take a moment to pick out the creepily accurate ones.

WILL THE LABOUR PARTY GIVE YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?

ARE SINGLE MOTHERS SCROUNGING OFF THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

ARE WORKING MOTHERS STEALING FROM TAXPAYERS?

IS FEMINISM TURNING MIDDLE BRITAIN GAY?

IS THE INTERNET HURTING THE QUEEN?

COULD BRUSSELS STEAL FROM THE CHURCH?

IS THE METRIC SYSTEM HURTING DRIVERS?


And so on, and so on...
 

rob_simple

Elite Member
Aug 8, 2010
1,864
0
41
COULD THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH KILL YOUR PETS?

Good grief, not my cats!

I wonder how many of these headlines so far actually match up to things the Daily Mail have literally said; I don't think there's a single thing they've not tried to blame on Muslims, yet.
 

sb666

Fake Best
Apr 5, 2010
1,976
0
41
Country
Australia
This is by far the best one I got: 'HAVE THE FRENCH MOLESTED THE BRITISH PEOPLE?'