I totally would if I was Twitter.AC10 said:
OT:
"COULD FEMINISM TURN THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?"
"HAS THE LABOUR PARTY GIVEN YOU CANCER?"
"COULD LESBIANS CHEAT THE QUEEN?"
So...I'm gonna start a newspaper with this, be right back.
Daily Mail-o-matic
- Thread starter Professor James
- Start date
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OT:
"COULD FEMINISM TURN THE MEMORY OF DIANA GAY?"
"HAS THE LABOUR PARTY GIVEN YOU CANCER?"
"COULD LESBIANS CHEAT THE QUEEN?"
So...I'm gonna start a newspaper with this, be right back.
HAVE TEACHERS GIVEN THE BRITISH PEOPLE DIABETES?
COULD THE BBC HAVE SEX WITH HOMEOWNERS?
WILL TEACHERS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE MEMORY OF DIANA?
HAS THE MMR JAB MOLESTED THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
I...I just can't stop clicking on the button...
COULD THE BBC HAVE SEX WITH HOMEOWNERS?
WILL TEACHERS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE MEMORY OF DIANA?
HAS THE MMR JAB MOLESTED THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
I...I just can't stop clicking on the button...
This one i got while just pressing the link;
WILL GYPSIES CHEAT THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
But ofcourse i had to press the refresh button, and this was the result;
HAS FEMINISM RIPPED OFF YOUR PENSION?
And since i didnt want this to end with on a feminist note, here's a third;
HAS HEALTH & SAFETY BURGLED YOUR HOUSE?
WILL GYPSIES CHEAT THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
But ofcourse i had to press the refresh button, and this was the result;
HAS FEMINISM RIPPED OFF YOUR PENSION?
And since i didnt want this to end with on a feminist note, here's a third;
HAS HEALTH & SAFETY BURGLED YOUR HOUSE?
HAS THE LABOUR PARTY HAD SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY
COULD LESBIANS HAVE SEX WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY?
HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN BRITIS JUSTICE AIDS?
WILL TWITTER TURN BRITISH PEOPLE GAY?
Tune in for these fantastic stories and more, only on DMTV1-news at eleven.
COULD LESBIANS HAVE SEX WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY?
HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN BRITIS JUSTICE AIDS?
WILL TWITTER TURN BRITISH PEOPLE GAY?
Tune in for these fantastic stories and more, only on DMTV1-news at eleven.
HAVE CYCLISTS HAD SEX WITH TAXPAYERS?
COULD THE E.U. TURN THE CHURCH GAY?
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PENSION?
WILL SINGLE MOTHERS TAX THE MEMORY OF DIANA?
These are all headlines that I wouldn't be surprised to see in the daily malicious. I'm surprised I haven't seen many slagging off doctors though.
Also, I think
ARE GAYS HAVING SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
was really printed by them at one point.
COULD THE E.U. TURN THE CHURCH GAY?
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR PENSION?
WILL SINGLE MOTHERS TAX THE MEMORY OF DIANA?
These are all headlines that I wouldn't be surprised to see in the daily malicious. I'm surprised I haven't seen many slagging off doctors though.
Also, I think
ARE GAYS HAVING SEX WITH COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
was really printed by them at one point.
Oh man, I'm in love with this thing already.
HAS FACEBOOK RUINED PENSIONERS?
HAVE WORKING MOTHERS KILLED BRITAIN'S FARMERS?
COULD PAEDOPHILES KILL HOMEOWNERS?
COULD CYCLISTS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?
IS BINGE DRINKING MOLESTING THE QUEEN?
HAS TEENAGE SEX MADE DRIVERS OBESE?
Some of these are just fantastic.
HAS FACEBOOK RUINED PENSIONERS?
HAVE WORKING MOTHERS KILLED BRITAIN'S FARMERS?
COULD PAEDOPHILES KILL HOMEOWNERS?
COULD CYCLISTS STEAL THE IDENTITY OF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?
IS BINGE DRINKING MOLESTING THE QUEEN?
HAS TEENAGE SEX MADE DRIVERS OBESE?
Some of these are just fantastic.
HAVE MUSLIMS SCROUNGED OFF TAXPAYERS?
HAVE THE FRENCH GIVEN YOUR PENSION SWINE FLU?
WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT HURT PROPERTY PRICES?
HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM DEFRAUDED ENGLAND?
and my personal favourite: WILL LESBIANS RIP OFF PENSIONERS?
I think the muslims one will actually be used at some point.
Has anyone posted the ""read it in the daily mail" video yet?
HAVE THE FRENCH GIVEN YOUR PENSION SWINE FLU?
WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT HURT PROPERTY PRICES?
HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM DEFRAUDED ENGLAND?
and my personal favourite: WILL LESBIANS RIP OFF PENSIONERS?
I think the muslims one will actually be used at some point.
Has anyone posted the ""read it in the daily mail" video yet?
The first headline loaded when I clikced the link made me lol-
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS GIVE CLIFF RICHARD SWINE FLU?
And is what I got when I refresh the page-
COULD FERAL CHILDREN STEAL THE IDENTITY OF BRITISH JUSTICE?
COULD BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS GIVE CLIFF RICHARD SWINE FLU?
And is what I got when I refresh the page-
COULD FERAL CHILDREN STEAL THE IDENTITY OF BRITISH JUSTICE?
Man this is a gift and a half...
IS THE INTERNET MOLESTING BRITAIN'S SWANS?
When will the trolls stop?
HAVE FOXES DEFRAUDED THE COUNTRYSIDE?
Well, it is kinda in their nature, sneaky foxes...
ARE IMMIGRANTS GIVING YOUR CHILDREN DIABETES?
They come in here, take our jobs, earn our money, buy our children sweets...
ARE FEMINISTS GIVING TAXPAYERS DIABETES?
Because those damn feminists, so damn sweet!
IS THE INTERNET MOLESTING BRITAIN'S SWANS?
When will the trolls stop?
HAVE FOXES DEFRAUDED THE COUNTRYSIDE?
Well, it is kinda in their nature, sneaky foxes...
ARE IMMIGRANTS GIVING YOUR CHILDREN DIABETES?
They come in here, take our jobs, earn our money, buy our children sweets...
ARE FEMINISTS GIVING TAXPAYERS DIABETES?
Because those damn feminists, so damn sweet!
WILL THE E.U. INFECT THE ROYAL FAMILY WITH AIDS?
Sounds like a conspiracy theory they would run with.
HAVE IMMIGRANTS KILLED THE QUEEN?
Try asking her.
IS YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL HAVING SEX WITH THE QUEEN?
Why are all of mine about the EU, queen or royal family? >_>
WILL THE P.C. BRIGADE MOLEST THE ROYAL FAMILY?
The royal family certainly gets around.
IS THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH MAKING PROPERTY PRICES OBESE?
This headline must have more dimensions to it than I can comprehend.
HAS THE E.U. GIVEN BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
Would be cheaper to just shoot them I think.
COULD FILTH ON TELEVISION GIVE THE CHURCH SWINE FLU?
Most likely.
Joyous generator, bookmarked it!
Sounds like a conspiracy theory they would run with.
HAVE IMMIGRANTS KILLED THE QUEEN?
Try asking her.
IS YOUR LOCAL COUNCIL HAVING SEX WITH THE QUEEN?
Why are all of mine about the EU, queen or royal family? >_>
WILL THE P.C. BRIGADE MOLEST THE ROYAL FAMILY?
The royal family certainly gets around.
IS THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH MAKING PROPERTY PRICES OBESE?
This headline must have more dimensions to it than I can comprehend.
HAS THE E.U. GIVEN BRITAIN'S SWANS CANCER?
Would be cheaper to just shoot them I think.
COULD FILTH ON TELEVISION GIVE THE CHURCH SWINE FLU?
Most likely.
Joyous generator, bookmarked it!
While this isn't about the Daily Mail, it's another random phrase generator, so it should be pertinent to this thread: The Deepak Chopra Quote Generator - for your dose of pseudo-intellectual, random, yet somehow enlightened-sounding nonsense.
http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/
"Experiential truth grows through intricate balance"
"The unpredictable belongs to new mortality"
"The web of life relies on spontaneous possibilities"
"Everything arises and subsides in reckless potentiality"
"Good health transcends the doorway to timelessness"
It sounds deep and you get to interpret it yourself to mean whatever you want! Because just like its role model, its phrases are ultimately meaningless.
http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/
"Experiential truth grows through intricate balance"
"The unpredictable belongs to new mortality"
"The web of life relies on spontaneous possibilities"
"Everything arises and subsides in reckless potentiality"
"Good health transcends the doorway to timelessness"
It sounds deep and you get to interpret it yourself to mean whatever you want! Because just like its role model, its phrases are ultimately meaningless.
COULD HEALTH & SAFETY MAKE DRIVERS IMPOTENT?
Oh dear god what.
"Arrest teenagers, and then detain them indefinitely under the Terrorism Act. And charge them for it."
Oh dear god what.
I actually live in the UK and I don't know who he is either, but this is great too.MrTwo said:
"Arrest teenagers, and then detain them indefinitely under the Terrorism Act. And charge them for it."
Ah man I loved this thing back in the day.
HAS THE INTERNET GIVEN YOUR PENSION CANCER?
Wait, would that not mean I'd get more pension? Thanks internet.
COULD BINGE DRINKING STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR HOUSE?
Damn you binge drinking!
HAS THE INTERNET GIVEN YOUR PENSION CANCER?
Wait, would that not mean I'd get more pension? Thanks internet.
COULD BINGE DRINKING STEAL THE IDENTITY OF YOUR HOUSE?
Damn you binge drinking!
I got quite a few funny, ridiculous ones, but I'd like to take a moment to pick out the creepily accurate ones.
WILL THE LABOUR PARTY GIVE YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?
ARE SINGLE MOTHERS SCROUNGING OFF THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
ARE WORKING MOTHERS STEALING FROM TAXPAYERS?
IS FEMINISM TURNING MIDDLE BRITAIN GAY?
IS THE INTERNET HURTING THE QUEEN?
COULD BRUSSELS STEAL FROM THE CHURCH?
IS THE METRIC SYSTEM HURTING DRIVERS?
And so on, and so on...
WILL THE LABOUR PARTY GIVE YOUR CHILDREN CANCER?
ARE SINGLE MOTHERS SCROUNGING OFF THE BRITISH PEOPLE?
ARE WORKING MOTHERS STEALING FROM TAXPAYERS?
IS FEMINISM TURNING MIDDLE BRITAIN GAY?
IS THE INTERNET HURTING THE QUEEN?
COULD BRUSSELS STEAL FROM THE CHURCH?
IS THE METRIC SYSTEM HURTING DRIVERS?
And so on, and so on...
COULD THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH KILL YOUR PETS?
Good grief, not my cats!
I wonder how many of these headlines so far actually match up to things the Daily Mail have literally said; I don't think there's a single thing they've not tried to blame on Muslims, yet.
Good grief, not my cats!
I wonder how many of these headlines so far actually match up to things the Daily Mail have literally said; I don't think there's a single thing they've not tried to blame on Muslims, yet.
HAVE ASYLUM SEEKERS SCROUNGED OFF YOUR PETS?
I have noticed a suspicious decrease in cat biccie levels lately! *disregards fat tom cat*
ARE THE UNEMPLOYED DEFRAUDING BRITAIN'S SWANS?
probably...I mean you could probably only buy tesco's own bread...
I have noticed a suspicious decrease in cat biccie levels lately! *disregards fat tom cat*
ARE THE UNEMPLOYED DEFRAUDING BRITAIN'S SWANS?
probably...I mean you could probably only buy tesco's own bread...