Dead bodies in the closet...?

[IamLEAM1983]

If you woke up one morning and found a week-old dead body (your choice on whether its intact or mutilated) hanging in your closet, what would your reaction be?

"So, this is the part where Ma Fratelli pushes me in there and leaves me with the dead body, right?"

 

[game-lover]

Pretty much screaming hysterically, likely with lots of crying and maybe nausea. If it's been in there for a week, it might be rank and I could lose my lunch.

I wanna say I'd run out of my room for my fam but I'm not sure. I'd probably just stand there screeching until someone came in and heard me.

 

[emissary666]

I'd call the police; after taking a picture and putting on the internet.

 

[Random berk]

Well, I didn't kill it, so I'd curse loudly, probably get sick considering the state a corpse would be in after a week, wonder how in the hell I didn't notice it for a week, then call the police. Of course, in my house, a body would not go undetected for any length of time.

 

[Loud Hawk]

Sexy time for me

Nah, I would probably just dispose of it, I have seen enough bodies for it not to really phase me. Telling anyone would just draw unwanted attention to me and my plan for world domination.

 

[Black Arrow Officer]

Assassin's Creed Guard reaction, of course.

"My god, who did this?"

*Walk away calmly*

 

[Gidiel167]

id call a friend over to verify i wasnt hallucinating.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

well apart from screaming and all that fun stuff the second thing to come to my head was

"damn now im going to have to clean all my stuff"

 

[F-I-D-O]

Damn it. My henchman did it again. Jeeves! I need the shovel. Charles did it again.
OR
I didn't even have to dig it up! My Frankenstein is coming along quite nicely.

Realistically?
First: What's that smell?
Second:

Pretty much this. Then I'd cry.

Spoiler: Edit: Actually, more like this.

Third: Call the police (at least they'd remove it)
Fourth: Wonder how the hell I didn't notice that for a week, or how someone put it in my house without setting off the alarm, and only put something in, as opposed to taking something.

 

[F-I-D-O]

Sexy time for me

Nah, I would probably just dispose of it, I have seen enough bodies for it not to really phase me. Telling anyone would just draw unwanted attention to me and my plan for world domination.

Yeah, don't you hate it when people move the nuke markers on the map?
... <.<
... >.>
ME NEITHER

 

[WaywardHaymaker]

Holy shit, when did I get a closet?

 

[stygN]

Well, lots of people have already said it, but I guess I'll say it again.

Close the closet, call the police, get drunk, call my mother (she's both a mother AND a psychologist/therapist AND we drink together, so I'd get help there..!).

And well, probably take it as a sign that someone wants to hurt me which will lead to me becoming an isolated psycho that carries loaded weapons and knifes, move to the middle of a forest and set traps.. You know, those random crazy guys that live in the forest and fucks up people that comes close, like the ones you see in movies..

 

[Lightning Delight]

Considering how well I normally function right after waking up, I probably wouldn't notice it. I'd grab a shirt from my closet, go downstairs and make some coffee, drink said coffee, go to get a jacket from my closet, and notice the dead body. Then I would probably sit there staring at it for a minute before panicking and calling the cops while screaming unintelligible gibberish.

 

[Astoria]

I'd probably just stare at it for several minutes then close the door and try to forget it. Eventually I'd call the police about it and then spend a long time drinking and trying to forget what I saw.

 

[Riddle78]

"HOLY SHITFUCK!"

I'll then call the police. Then get a lawyer handy.

 

[TehCookie]

I'm still dreaming, time to go back to sleep. Go back to bed wake up and it's still there. Huh I'm not dreaming, shouldn't I call 911 at a time like this?

 

[deserteagleeye]

I'd close the door with a blank expression on my face, wait 5 seconds and open it again. If it's still there then.........fuck.

 

[silverpimp]

8 day old bodies go in the attic, any longer than a week and they go in the fridge.

I'd put it next to the week old dead bodies in my garage.

Are they the bodies that happen to have been there for a week? Or do you have some weird cycle that means you permanently have bodies that are a week old in there, along with the 6 day old bodies in the cellar and the 8 day old bodies in the fridge?

8 day old bodies go in the attic. Anything longer than ten days goes in the fridge.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Puke.
Really, the smell would be absolutely horrendous.
Followed by wonder who the hell it is and call a cop who wouldn't be a dickwad about it.