Dead bodies in the closet...?

[Therumancer]

If you woke up one morning and found a week-old dead body (your choice on whether its intact or mutilated) hanging in your closet, what would your reaction be?

Exclaim "oh damn, yeah, I knew I was forgetting to do something..."

Then go get my Draino or other industrial-caustic heavy solution, dissolve the body in my bathtub and "awwway go troubles, down the drain" (like the old commercial jingle).

I mean it's just a dead body, chances are if it's in my closet I put it there.

Of course then again if I ever DO decide to kill anyone I'm going to start with plans to dispose of the body because that's the hard part and what determines if your going to get away with it or not usually. The actual killing isn't all that hard.

I've honestly never had to dispose of a body, but I've been taught to, and the draino thing is the easiest method even if it's not the quickest. Truthfully I hope to never have to put that knowlege to the test and find out in person how well it works.

 

[dspike]

I would put them in a garbage bag and drag it to the closest river but on the way I would whisper things like "They made me do it" then I would promptly dump it.

 

[PhantomEcho]

My response would go something along these lines:

"Holy shit!"

(wait a few seconds)

"Hmm... we should probably get you down from there, eh?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"Hey, honey... can you run to the store and pick up some plastic wrap? And some air freshener?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"Thanks, love. Oh! Do you remember where we stuck the gardening shovel?"

(wait a few more seconds)

"I hate when the house starts to smell like corpse."

 

[Jubbert]

"My God, that thread on the Escapist totally fucking predicted this."

 

[Shifty]

Just ring the guards sorry the cops (Im irish)

 

[CleverCover]

Well, seeing as there's a small closet I haven't been in for weeks since it has all my "super special occasion" clothes, it's plausible.

OMGJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTWHATTHEBLEEDINGFUCKISTHISDOINGINMYOMGHOWTHEHELLDIDTHISGETINMYHOUSEWHATTHEHELL...

'has a fit almost collapses on the floor, cries a bit, calls friend and then calls police'

 

[ajemas]

I think that I would just call the police. If it was in my closet, then there would be a strong possibility that I did it and had no recollection of it. If evidence points towards the fact that it was me, then I would happily go to jail or a mental institution. I could not live with the possibility that I might harm somebody else.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Mad-Eye Moody, all they found of him was his eye on an office door. So Harry and the gang stole it and buried it somewhere.

GIMME GIMME GIMME

Not actually the reference I was thinking of (the BBQ one was the vagueness...)

Still, I am a generous man:

Spoiler: Careful... he bites!

 

[Jovip]

In 100% complete honesty my reactions would be, in this order.

1. I want coffee.
2. Shit theres a dead body
3. hope it didn't bleed on any of the cords i have laying around in there
4. getting a garbage bag.
5. Throwing limb by limb into the garbage and casually chuck it in the bin outside my house
6. Clean up blood
7. get a coffee


I'm a seriously desensitized person and have seen, in real life an intense barrage of fucked up things. This would honestly be one of the least alarming things.

 

[Robby Foxfur]

Wow i'm extremely unobservant since my closet is always open ... then i'd have to do some night diggin

 

[davidmc1158_v1legacy]

Ah Hell. DAMMIT JEN! YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO CLEAN UP AFTER THE DAMN PARTY!!!!!

*grumblegrumblegrumble*

No, I am NOT going to help you bury this one! You said the last one was it, remember?!?!?

 

[Dfskelleton]

Oh boy! Snacktime!
OT: I'd probably calmly shut the closet door, leave the room, stick my head in a bucket of freezing water, then go back and see if it was still there.
If it was:

Then, I'd chop it up, bury it under the floorboards, and sell the house. I'd love to see the reaction of the next owners of the house.

 

[Cecilthedarkknight_234]

being the mystery person that I am, I would try to figure who killed the person, how the body got in my room and why I am being set up for his murder...

 

[Jingle Fett]

I'd be like "Eeeewwww what the hell, how'd that get there?"

 

[natster43]

Probably among the lines of: "HOLYSHITOHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKHOWDIDTHISHAPPEN!?!?!?!?!"
Or "Huh. How the hell did that get in here?" And then call the police either way.

 

[Xenos Eriadin]

Why has it been a week since I last changed my clothes?

 

[MegaR]

aw crap not again!

 

[Sion_Barzahd]

I'd be curious as to why my housemate thinks he can put his stuff in my closet...

 

[razer17]

"Oh for God's sake, not again"

 

[PinkiePyro]

scream puke then call the cops