My avatar is Spider Jerusalem, the futuristic analogue to the great Hunter S. Thompson from the Transmetropolitan graphic novels.
Thompson's worldview and philosophy closely match mine. And I consider him to be one of the greatest Zen masters of all time.
You see, Thompson once knew a pretentious fake Buddhist who constantly belittled people, incessantly calling everyone dumb and stupid.
"I may be dumb and stupid," Thompson replied. "But I know one thing you don't. For I have the answer to your most unanswerable question. I have solved the Zen koan, 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?'."
"Nonsense," said the fake Buddhist. "How could you know such a thing? I insist you tell me at once!"
So Thompson slapped him in the ear.
The fake Buddhist was enlightened.