Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[gristledemon]

... Oh no! People are kissing, ew! Get a room! You, stop breastfeeding your baby! Stop it! If it were up to me people could walk around nude in the streets, it isn't hurting anyone. But I guess I'm a "radical" or something.

um raised on a commune..... i hate stuff like that.
a kiss is one thing. making out is another all together. public kissing is fine jsut like hugs. but making out is NOT fine. if you feel the need to be that open... or feel the need to watch people doing it... then to me... you have a problem.
as to that walking around naked.... yeah thats about the only way to make me into a nazis.... let everyone walk aroudn naked. do you know how horrible that would be... people are vile! even the 0.1% that are not i dont wanna see. call me a prude but this only sounds cool to people who did not grow up with it. overly open sexuallity is gross... wrong... and it messes up children for LIFE!
this is just a fantasy.

sorry for the reaction but yeah I have way to many friends who think like this and it bothers me to no end. its like someone who didnt grow up with an alchy/druggy telling you how cool it would be if their parents drank/partied. its just a fantasy

 

[unoleian]

That was just rude behavior on their part. I'll be honest, I'm not totally comfortable with two guys kissing in front of me. Actually, I'm not terribly comfortable with anyone laying some serious PDA or having some tongue-play in front of me, regardless of sexual orientation. A little kiss and a cuddle, whatever. But some things are best done in private.

No, whoever got spat on certainly didn't deserve it. It's ridiculous that one would have to put up with that. And, btw, isn't spitting on someone, for all practical purposes, considered assault?

I think so...

 

[Cazza]

You should have just moved a few rows or whatever in front of them. Many people go to the movies to makeout. It was rude of them to not do it up the back like everyone else does to not get in peoples views. But I wasn't.

 

[jaketheripper]

once again, the media spins something completely around, i get your friend, and i think with you getting disgusted about guys kissing is how you were raised, same with me, ive grown up around the straight community, and its out of you comfort zone, so dont worry about your feelings.

 

[jaketheripper]

That was just rude behavior on their part. I'll be honest, I'm not totally comfortable with two guys kissing in front of me. Actually, I'm not terribly comfortable with anyone laying some serious PDA or having some tongue-play in front of me, regardless of sexual orientation. A little kiss and a cuddle, whatever. But some things are best done in private.

No, whoever got spat on certainly didn't deserve it. It's ridiculous that one would have to put up with that. And, btw, isn't spitting on someone, for all practical purposes, considered assault?

I think so...

i think it used to be, but idk, its still disrespect, there was no reason to have disrespect for the friend, ecspecially since the friend was being relatively polite about it

 

[Blatherscythe]

It's ridiculous how we've reached a point in society where a white, heterosexual, Christian or Atheist male is always in the wrong.

I'm twice as screwed, I'm what you said above and I'm blonde haired, blue eyed and of German Descent. As for the OP, either your friend is lying about what he said or that gay man is a prick. Why the hell is this a hate crime though? He asked the dude to stop making out because it was distracting him from the movie and the person turns around and spits on him? That's an overreaction from an asshole, not a hate crime.

 

[Sporky111]

Yeah, you aren't in the wrong. Most people don't like seeing anyone kissing in public, so it's not something that's just aimed at guys. A peck is fine, but making out is better in private.

Also, I'm with you on the homophobia issue. I don't use the word homophobic because there is really no such thing. A -phobia is a fear that you can't control, not something you hate. Homophobia is just a cover for hating gays.

Someone who hates spiders isn't arachnophobic, someone who screams in fear at the sight of one is. Likewise, someone who hates gays isn't homophobic.

 

[Therumancer]

I wrote the title in first person so it'd be more immediate and attention-grabbing, but this actually happened to a friend of mine (yeah right, I'm sure you're thinking). Though it could hypothetically happen to me.

My friend and I have discussed how we feel about homosexuality, and we generally agreed that we accept it as long as it's not annoying or obnoxious, just like everything else. We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!" just as we dislike emos going "look at me, I'm all deep and dark!" or political extremists or whatever. We're both friends with a gay guy, and we treat him the same as anyone else (I mean, we "tease" him about it, but he doesn't mind, and he slags us right back. Everyone's got something to rip on).

But one thing was that it always creeped me out to see guys kiss. I don't think I'm really alone on this. It's like the equivalent of watching someone pick their nose. It's just... eew. It's not something I have any control over, it just disturbs me on a fundamental level. People have been throwing slogans around like "homosexuality isn't a choice, but homophobia is", and I'd have to say that if being a bit disgusted by men kissing is homophobic, then it really isn't a choice. If I had a choice, I wouldn't choose to be disgusted by anything. (On a side note, I always hated the word "homophobe". 'Homos' means 'one and the same', so 'homophobia' would technically mean 'a pathological fear of things staying the same')

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do), and everyone was ejected from the cinema. The local newspaper even caught wind of it, spinning the whole thing to sound like some sort of hate crime riot.


So, what do you think? Was my friend being intolerant, and deserved what he got? Were the homosexual couple being rude, and should've stopped when asked? Did they overreact? Do you think gays in general seem to be more intolerant of people expressing their feelings about homosexuality than heterosexuals are? Or do you think the homosexual community should take a zero tolerance policy to any form of discrimination?

I'm not really sure what to believe.

Part of living in a free country is that you don't have to like everything and everyone, nor do you have to remain silent about it.

Above and beyond anything else, what your friend did was not unreasonable. Even if your not anti-gay, that kind of thing can be very disruptive, and that includes heterosexual couples as well. While a privately owned building your dealing with a public venue. Depending on where you are (town/state) there might even be laws against "excessive public displays of affection", while seemingly something out of a book like "1984" it functions more like an extension of "Disturbing the peace" and exists for similar reasons. I've never heard of it being more of a misdemeanor though.

The bottom line is that in a public theater hand holding and such is fine, but if two people are making out that can disrupt other people's enjoyment of the show. Ditto for people making out on a park bench or on public transportation or whatever.

At any rate, the incident really doesn't surprise me. While I'm sure many here are going to loudly and vocally disagree, homosexuals are increasingly becoming more offensive, feeling that as a "protected" minority they can pretty much flaunt the rules and behave badly because they can always play the "gay card" to deal with trouble. Pretty much human nature in such cases. The situation you describe is more common than you think with any kind of "protected" minority and you rarely if ever hear about it in terms that are unflattering to the representitives of the minority in question. A "hate crime" is sensational and gets attention, and what's more someone who covers it in the mainstream media and doesn't take a politically corrct stance risks themselves becoming the subject of other people sensationalizing their coverage and claiming they are hate mongers or whatever. It's like that in general, and pretty much what bumper stickers like "I wasn't a racist until Affirmitive Action made me one" are all about if you ever see them.

I'm from the US though, I don't know how things tend to work in Ireland.

... and no flames please, this is simply my opinion/experiences/observations.

 

[Zing]

No he doesn't, I probably would have beat the living shit out of that guy too.

 

[samonix]

I'm calling BS on this story.

1. Inception is never 'empty'
2. No-one gets bored halfway through it
3. Gays don't fight
4. Ireland has no gays


Seriously though, two antisocial, spitting, violent gays probably have AIDS so your friend should probably get checked out.

But on an actual serious note, I disagree with any forms of public affection - straight or not - it's completely unnecessary and always awkward for people watching.

 

[blankedboy]

That's an overreaction, but he doesn't deserver to be spat on.

 

[JohnnySex]

It's annoying when people make out during a movie, straight or gay. Also... During Inception?!? What the hell that movie was awesome.

 

[sageoftruth]

I do not like to see men kissing women in public either. Although strangely enough two women kissing I do not mind. <.<
So no, he was not being intolerant. He was getting distracted by a repulsive display so asked them to stop. If they wanted somewhere to kiss they should go home.
Anyway these types of homosexuals are the types I hate. The ones that scream homophobe or bigot just because you want them to stop being so goddamn obnoxious. As if their "gay rights" come before common fucking decency!

Nothing strange about that my friend. If you're heretosexual man, then you like women. If I got perverse and spotted a couple making out, I'd rather it was two women. Otherwise I'd have to filter out the naked/half-naked man in the scene. I think a guy on the escapist really nailed it when he said he couldn't grasp how women find men attractive.

 

[sageoftruth]

I agree with most of us here, that your friend didn't deserve that. Still, I can't say I'm surprised by the reaction. As uncalled for as their behavior was, I bet they were pissed when your friend ruined their moment.

 

[Nouw]

That's the most polite way to say 'stop'. Spitting on someone is one of the most degrading things you can do to someone. I have nothing against gays but man, just because he says stop doesn't mean you spit at them. Pricks.

They must think just because they're gay means they're all high and mighty.

 

[RatRace123]

In that circumstance, I can't find fault with your friend's actions. That's just being rude, what they were doing whether gay or straight.

 

[dietpeachsnapple]

Simple test,

If he had asked a male and a female to stop doing it, would it have been any more appropriate or inappropriate?

In this case, I would say no.

I would also like to think that something MORE occurred in this situation. It all sounds so unstable and volatile.

 

[TheLaofKazi]

... Oh no! People are kissing, ew! Get a room! You, stop breastfeeding your baby! Stop it! If it were up to me people could walk around nude in the streets, it isn't hurting anyone. But I guess I'm a "radical" or something.

um raised on a commune..... i hate stuff like that.
a kiss is one thing. making out is another all together. public kissing is fine jsut like hugs. but making out is NOT fine. if you feel the need to be that open... or feel the need to watch people doing it... then to me... you have a problem.

Explain why it's a problem.

as to that walking around naked.... yeah thats about the only way to make me into a nazis.... let everyone walk aroudn naked. do you know how horrible that would be... people are vile!

Oh the suffering! Ugly people! I would get used to it, just like people had to get used to seeing interracial couples hold hands back in the good ol' days.

call me a prude but this only sounds cool to people who did not grow up with it. overly open sexuallity is gross... wrong... and it messes up children for LIFE!
this is just a fantasy.

Tons of societies around the world have no problem with nudity, and their children grow up just fine.

sorry for the reaction but yeah I have way to many friends who think like this and it bothers me to no end. its like someone who didnt grow up with an alchy/druggy telling you how cool it would be if their parents drank/partied. its just a fantasy

Sure, but the difference there is it generally isn't a good idea for parents to drink and party (but it really depends on what you mean by that), because in most cases doing drugs and partying excessively negatively impacts your ability to raise your children.

 

[asam92]

If it was a same sex couple it is rude to do the same thing regardless of sexual orientation 'Keep in your pants' so to speak
It was a really bad response to what your friend said.

Would he of said the same thing if it was a guy and a girl?

 

[Diablo27]

Your friend was justified in asking them to stop but from my point of view it would've been better to ask the snogging couple to move. The guy was extremely rude to spit in your friends face and should have gotten in trouble for that instead of getting praise because he's gay.

As to homophobia, one of my friends is bisexual but has a boyfriend, and even when he was just coming out and showed me a picture of him and his boyfriend kissing I didn't think differently of him, he was still the same friend I had had for like five years, there is nothing wrong with being gay, bisexual or lesbian and it doesn't matter whether it's a choice or not, they should be treated just the same as people who prefer the opposite sex.