Do I deserve to be spat on for saying this to a gay person?

[solidstatemind]

Anyway, here's the thing. Recently my friend and his friend went to see Inception (I think), and the cinema was fairly empty, except for these two other guys in front of them. And halfway through the film these two other guys got bored, for whatever reason, and started making out. And my friend was distracted, and grossed out, and couldn't enjoy the film properly. So, never being one to suffer in silence, he gently (according to him) said something alone the lines of "here lads, would you give it a rest? We're trying to watch a movie". And then, one of the guys turned and spat directly into my friend's face.

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do), and everyone was ejected from the cinema. The local newspaper even caught wind of it, spinning the whole thing to sound like some sort of hate crime riot.


So, what do you think? Was my friend being intolerant, and deserved what he got? Were the homosexual couple being rude, and should've stopped when asked? Did they overreact? Do you think gays in general seem to be more intolerant of people expressing their feelings about homosexuality than heterosexuals are? Or do you think the homosexual community should take a zero tolerance policy to any form of discrimination?

I'm not really sure what to believe.

PDA is PDA, regardless of the gender of the two participants. It's generally frowned upon. Given that even teenagers on their first dates know that they should hang out in the back of the theater if they're going to make out, I am inclined to believe that the two guys were actually spoiling for a fight, particularly since spitting is an incredible overreaction to being politely asked to stop.

http://itsatrap.ytmnd.com/

 

[Flack]

Would he have done the same if it was two hot chicks making out?

 

[the monopoly guy]

I would have said it no matter who it was in front of me. It's goddamn Inception, pay attention or stop breathing! I don't think that he was crossing any lines, he didn't use and hateful speech or anything. If anything the other guy over-reacted when he spat. I mean, its goddamn Inception, stop kick boxing with your tongues and pay attention!

 

[Godavari]

Jeez, don't people in Ireland know that the back of the theatre is the best place to make out?

I think the gay couple overreacted in this case. If there was a guy and girl in front of me sucking face, distracting me from watching the greatest movie of the year, then I would tell them to get it on somewhere else as well. I find it stupid that, just because you said it to a gay couple, that it makes it a hate crime.

On the other hand, you have to look at this and feel sorry for the ostracized gay community. I mean, think about it: they've been discriminated against on so many levels that he felt the need to spit in your mate's face because of an innocuos comment that was misinterpreted. That's saying something about how they've been recieved in the past.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

It doesn't matter if the two were men, women, gay, straight, bi, or anything. If I'm going to a movie theater, the only making out I should be seeing should be on the screen, especially with the ridiculous movie theater prices these days. If the friend was civil and asked them to give it a break in a polite manner, he did not deserve to be spit upon by anyone. Also, why didn't any ushers ask them to stop distracting people before it got out of hand enough to cause a brawl? If I were your friend, though, I would not have instigated the brawl, if that was what happened. If someone spat in my face in a similar instance, I would have simply gotten up and gone to an usher or other movie person and demand that the two be ejected from the theater and demand for either my money back or a free ticket that I could use at some other time. If that didn't work, I would call the police to have the guy arrested for assault, since spitting on someone technically falls under that.

By the way, Inception was awesome and I am sorry that your friend missed any part of it to a couple of idiots. If they were bored with the movie (and, with Inception, I don't see how they could be, unless they were too stupid to follow the story through the levels, and even then, there's plenty of action to keep you busy), they could simply leave instead of ruining someone else's good time.

 

[HolyMoogle]

i have kind of a similar story that did actually happen to me...

me and you seem to have the exact same opinion on gay people they are cool make good friends and are generally sound guys but i cant stand the ones that try and make a big deal aboutit...

anways storytime.

it was my girlfriends (at the time) birthday and since it was her night i said to her we could go anywhere she wanted it was just us some of her girl friends and her gay friend so she chose the gay club "for some grope free dancing and so her friend can pull" i said sure (although woulda been much happier if she chose the union or something, anyways when we get there we danced to some hefty choons and were having a great drunkin time, when someone grabbed me on the ass, i knew it wasnt my gfs, but thought it was her gay mate you know taking the piss having a laugh inding me up like he does, so i turn round and it was some pervy old man me drunk and not feeling happy about the whole thing (naturaly) i turned round and punched him in the face being dundee this esculated into quite a big fight, we managed to get out, i did feel really bad since it was my gfs birthday so i apologised for being a dick and overreacting like i did but then she started gettin angry because i am such a homophobe i pointed out that and her gay friend is like one of the soundest guys i kno and that see if that was a guy that groped her ass (that wasnt me) she wouldnt turn round and slap him? but apparently thats not the same thing =/

anyways yeah your mate had every right to tell them to stop making out i have been told numerous times in cinemas to stop making out with the girl im with... they fight for equal rights but then when they start gettin treated equally they complain about its bein homophobic? thats what annoys me most its the same with racism sexism etc etc its getting a bit rediculous especially in the UK

I'm sorry, but you really could not have been more wrong here. You were in a gay club, yes? Then you had no right to punch. Upset, sure, but no right at all to get violent. You deserved to have your girlfriend pissed at you, it is an incredibly homophobic thing to do.

Think of it like this: If you were in a "straight" club, would you punch a girl if she groped your ass? I'm hoping you'd say no to that, so by the same token it is completely wrong to punch a guy for groping your ass in a gay bar. You can obviously be upset and tell him to go away, but you have no right at all to get violent.

 

[no one really]

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do)

Are you sure the drunk leperchaun weren't the one who started the fight?

 

[HolyMoogle]

Part of living in a free country is that you don't have to like everything and everyone, nor do you have to remain silent about it.

Above and beyond anything else, what your friend did was not unreasonable. Even if your not anti-gay, that kind of thing can be very disruptive, and that includes heterosexual couples as well. While a privately owned building your dealing with a public venue. Depending on where you are (town/state) there might even be laws against "excessive public displays of affection", while seemingly something out of a book like "1984" it functions more like an extension of "Disturbing the peace" and exists for similar reasons. I've never heard of it being more of a misdemeanor though.

The bottom line is that in a public theater hand holding and such is fine, but if two people are making out that can disrupt other people's enjoyment of the show. Ditto for people making out on a park bench or on public transportation or whatever.

At any rate, the incident really doesn't surprise me. While I'm sure many here are going to loudly and vocally disagree, homosexuals are increasingly becoming more offensive, feeling that as a "protected" minority they can pretty much flaunt the rules and behave badly because they can always play the "gay card" to deal with trouble. Pretty much human nature in such cases. The situation you describe is more common than you think with any kind of "protected" minority and you rarely if ever hear about it in terms that are unflattering to the representitives of the minority in question. A "hate crime" is sensational and gets attention, and what's more someone who covers it in the mainstream media and doesn't take a politically corrct stance risks themselves becoming the subject of other people sensationalizing their coverage and claiming they are hate mongers or whatever. It's like that in general, and pretty much what bumper stickers like "I wasn't a racist until Affirmitive Action made me one" are all about if you ever see them.

I'm from the US though, I don't know how things tend to work in Ireland.

... and no flames please, this is simply my opinion/experiences/observations.

Not flaming you, but shot in the dark here... do you actually know many (or any) gay people or are you just listening to what US cable news channels are telling you about those evil militant homosexuals with their secret homosexual agenda to corrupt the young'uns?

 

[WolfThomas]

I think anyone overtly making out in public is rude, boy-girl, boy-boy or even girl-girl. Likewise in a cinema.

 

[Adzma]

Depends whether or not he would've said the same thing to a man and woman making out. Your posts makes it sound like he wouldn't have, therefore he would be in the wrong. That said, spitting on someone is never justified.

 

[Legend of J]

(as the English say it) snog.

Sorry but ive heard no one from england say that and i have lived here for 20 years and in different parts of the country. The term is could be classed as "Make out" "Neck on" "Mouth shag" "Giving each other tounge suckies"

anyway back on topic

So, what do you think?

Well funny enough same thing happend over here in england But replace cinema with pub. Now tuesday is normally classed as gay night over in the main part of the town but this is more on the local outskirts. I was meeting a couple of mates of mine for a drink as usual we were sat in for about an hour and 2 lads came in holding hands (soon as they walked through the door i knew it would be trouble). Well eventually they got the attention of the entire pub and was met with disgusted looks on realising this they went up to the bar and started makin out from this they were told "Would you stop that everyones tryin to enjoy there pint in piece". As response to that one of them said "Oh your just realouse cause you carn't join in your all a bunch of spinless dicks" Which was met to a bottles, stools and other sharp objects being hurled...as well as insults.
So all and all you can ask the question who was in the wrong?.

So really in short IF your friend was being polite about it. They could of easily of moved away if it was empty or he could of moved away?. However the fact someone spit on him he should of had the right to defend himself and the fact that the media overhypes everythink into stupid proprtions is just wrong.

 

[Miles Tormani]

Wow. What a prick. I hate it when people try to pass off something as a hate crime, when that's not the issue at hand at all. Whether it be sexuality, race, gender, religion, etc.

It's just a get out clause for people who know they're in the wrong, but refuse to accept it, so bring up an issue that's taboo to argue against. It's really pathetic.

It's ridiculous how we've reached a point in society where a white, heterosexual, Christian or Atheist male is always in the wrong.

Which, wouldn't you know it, is racism, sexism, and discrimination on the basis of religious belief. Something that everyone taking sides against them seems to conveniently ignore. I remember an exchange where someone was called racist, to which the response was that he couldn't be racist on account of being Mexican. Makes sense when you ignore that whole "logic" thing.

Anyway, soapbox aside, in the interest of not reading through 10 pages of posts at 2 AM, I'm going to answer the OP directly as opposed to look for something else to respond to. Speaking as a gay person, I don't care whether your friend was being completely polite or saying something more along the lines of "Hey, faggots, keep it in your bedroom." If I was there, and I saw that guy spit on your friend, I'd be damned if I wasn't the first one to throw a punch at him.

Way to promote tolerance, guys. Give people more reasons to hate gays. *sigh* I hate fanatics.

TL;DR version: Your friend did not deserve to get spat on.

 

[lukenhiumur]

if the theater was mostly empty he could've moved to a different seat.

 

[Legend of J]

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do)

Are you sure the drunk leperchaun weren't the one who started the fight?

Not everyone in ireland is a drunk. Thats just a bad sterotype anyway. Ill just report and move on.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Damn news papers blowing everything out of proportion. I think your friend was justified in telling them to stop.

The media blows everything out of proportion... Unless it is a good event, then it gets marginalized.

OT: You're friend had every right to ask them to take it elsewhere. If they wanted to makeout, they could have left and drove away to a more private location. I'd feel the same way if I was in the same situation. It doesn't matter whether it is a homosexual partnership or a heterosexual partnership; there is a time and place for everything.

Too bad it erupted into a brawl. If it were me, I would have gone to the ticket office or some theater employee and explained the situation. That is after wiping the spit off my face.

 

[3lva]

I suppose, if something really bothers you and there is the option of moving, it can be better to just avoid the confrontation. Then again, I know that it takes an annoying amount of effort to move from one seat to another when there is both popcorn, bag, jacket and drink to move along with you. The best solution is probably to have some emotional feelers out and adjust the reaction accordingly.

I don't think that any community should have to go through discrimination, but this situation wasn't even close. This applies more to social conduct. There's no need to flaunt your activities, and that goes for everyone, no matter their sexuality. Especially when you're in an area where people have paid to see something else.

All in all, overreactions from both sides.

 

[Lem0nade Inlay]

Your friend was in the right! It wouldn't matter if the people were heterosexual, they were just being irritating.

AND WHY WERE THEY BORED DURING INCEPTION!?

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

Over reactions by both parties really. He could have just politely asked them to stop if they weren't going to watch the film. They could have done something other than spit in his face. Like a rational human being.

To be honest... And on a completely unrelated note, when I went to see Inception there were a group of 14 year olds in front of us that spent the entire film chatting and giggling. Everyone got pissed off at them. A couple of people shouted at them. Eventually they were kicked out. Is it just me or do you think some people don't understand/can't follow Inception so they do something else?

 

[Elburzito]

How can we possibly get past homophobia if gays(excuse me if this is offensive) and the media keep 'reminding' people of now nearly non-existent discrimination in increasingly annoying ways, only to just make people hate them more?

Just to pick up on this, specifically the "nearly non-existent" point. Now I dunno where you're from, but it's not gone. Not anything like gone. I rarely go a day without hearing someone discriminate or use a sexuality as an insult or otherwise degrade the worth of homosexuals.

On topic: I'm in agreement with the Girl With One Eye (at least I think that's your screenname) here, I highly doubt that all your friend said was "here lads etc", though whatever he said the reaction was unjustified, but if he did say more than that or use a tone that was aggressive, I can understand why the guy was angry, because it does build up after a while, because often you have no opportunity to fight back, so when the chance comes, it's hard to resist. Oh, and yeah as for the media, fools will be fools. And haters gonna hate.

Spoiler

[img=http://www.hatersgoingtohate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/haters-gonna-hate-eagle.jpg]

"We don't like gays going all "look at me, I'm so gay!"
THIS, this is why homophobia still exists. If they would just shut up and act like normal civilized people, homophobia probably would be gone now. But NO, they must tell every single soul that they are something special if they're gay. People who act like that shame homosexuals in general.

 

[Elburzito]

This apparently resulted in a big brawl (as all things in Ireland inevitably do)

Are you sure the drunk leperchaun weren't the one who started the fight?

That's rude...Say sorry to the OP.