Do nice guys really finish last?
- Thread starter novixz
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Societies interpretations of the blueprint have had some slight variations over the course of human history, but we've never outright changed it like were trying to do now. Disgusting and perverse is the only way to describe it.
And good luck landing a woman with your nice guy(TM) antics.OmniscientOstrich said:
Nice guys fucking suck.
Now, I'm not interested in guys, but this is regardless of gender - if you are a doormat, bowing down to and worshipping your woman/man then you come across as a weak, annoying leech.
People who know what they're doing get the biggest slice of the cake, because they don't kiss ass to get it, they take what they want and they know how to get it. You don't have to be a complete dick to do so either, just stand up for yourself, be straight up and don't hestitate so much. Take a chance, just go for it.
Equality and communication is key. I don't want a slave or a boss, I want a girlfriend that I like being with, that work for me.
It's not hard.
Just stop being their *****.
Now, I'm not interested in guys, but this is regardless of gender - if you are a doormat, bowing down to and worshipping your woman/man then you come across as a weak, annoying leech.
People who know what they're doing get the biggest slice of the cake, because they don't kiss ass to get it, they take what they want and they know how to get it. You don't have to be a complete dick to do so either, just stand up for yourself, be straight up and don't hestitate so much. Take a chance, just go for it.
Equality and communication is key. I don't want a slave or a boss, I want a girlfriend that I like being with, that work for me.
It's not hard.
Just stop being their *****.
Great, this thread again.
Short answer? No.
Long answer? "Nice guys" don't exist. The "nice guy" is a concept invented by selfish, manipulative adolescents to try and explain why girls don't like them without having to come to terms with the fact that they are the problem.
Being nice is great. But thinking that being her friend means you automatically get to date her isn't nice. Whining about it and resenting her behind her back isn't nice. And being spineless and clingy? That's not nice, it's just kind of pathetic, and not attractive.
Don't be a "nice guy"; be a good man.
Short answer? No.
Long answer? "Nice guys" don't exist. The "nice guy" is a concept invented by selfish, manipulative adolescents to try and explain why girls don't like them without having to come to terms with the fact that they are the problem.
Being nice is great. But thinking that being her friend means you automatically get to date her isn't nice. Whining about it and resenting her behind her back isn't nice. And being spineless and clingy? That's not nice, it's just kind of pathetic, and not attractive.
Don't be a "nice guy"; be a good man.
Men who are not dominant seem just very fake to me; maybe it's from living in the south for so long. But I remember when I was with younger guys who tried to hard to be nice it always came off as just being clingy, and clingy in a bad way. No one want's to be smothered by anyone even their own parents; much less some random guy they just met.Daddy Go Bot said:
Really best advice just be yourself; a relationship is like a friendship your going to bicker,tease, and at times annoy each other but it just makes you better. No one wants a friend who calls every hour, and noone wants a boyfriend like that either.
i think he's just trying too hard. i would hate getting called beautiful 24/7... it seems really fucking needy.
also, i'm a massive asshole and have no romantic luck, so there's got to be some middle ground...
also, i'm a massive asshole and have no romantic luck, so there's got to be some middle ground...
got any proof there? and what about lesbians or bisexual women, or dominatrices or any dominant woman?Daddy Go Bot said:
Alot of the time, but in the end, like most things, it all ocmes down to experience, the more time you spend with girls, the better you'll be at projecting yourself to them.
Generally being the best person is the best approach however. From experience I know that being a bit of a jerk and playing fast and loose with women is fine, but it'll all catch up with you and you'll end up being a very lonely person.
to summarise, nice guys don;t finish last, as long as you know how to be the kind of nice guy that people like, the one that's not "too much" to be around. Be all around nice and not just single out a couple of qualities that make you a nice guy and promote them like their going out of business.
Flattering a girl is a great, nice thing to do, but you can;t just rely on that to make you a nice guy. A wise man once said, 2Actions speak louder than words" and I think that applies hear. Don't act like a nice guy and finish last, BE a nice guy and it'll all work out.
Personally its important not to label yourself one or the other or your mind will simply subscribe to that and your girlfriend(s) will never know who you truly are. women don't want some one perfect, they want someone human, someone who makes mistakes. If your perfect, or at least appear perfect, it can be a major blow to their self esteem, and so what seems nice, becomes bitter. Women would rather you treat them well, but make mistakes. Nice guys don;t finish last, people who try to hard do. People who hide behind their niceties, (or any other aspect of their personality) in hope that it will hide their flaws, those are the people who end up alone.
That's all I have to say about that.
Generally being the best person is the best approach however. From experience I know that being a bit of a jerk and playing fast and loose with women is fine, but it'll all catch up with you and you'll end up being a very lonely person.
to summarise, nice guys don;t finish last, as long as you know how to be the kind of nice guy that people like, the one that's not "too much" to be around. Be all around nice and not just single out a couple of qualities that make you a nice guy and promote them like their going out of business.
Flattering a girl is a great, nice thing to do, but you can;t just rely on that to make you a nice guy. A wise man once said, 2Actions speak louder than words" and I think that applies hear. Don't act like a nice guy and finish last, BE a nice guy and it'll all work out.
Personally its important not to label yourself one or the other or your mind will simply subscribe to that and your girlfriend(s) will never know who you truly are. women don't want some one perfect, they want someone human, someone who makes mistakes. If your perfect, or at least appear perfect, it can be a major blow to their self esteem, and so what seems nice, becomes bitter. Women would rather you treat them well, but make mistakes. Nice guys don;t finish last, people who try to hard do. People who hide behind their niceties, (or any other aspect of their personality) in hope that it will hide their flaws, those are the people who end up alone.
That's all I have to say about that.
Who says I'm necessarily looking for a woman? Or that I ever claimed to be a 'nice guy'? But nevermind, clearly someone who so desperately clings to their obsolescent doctrine to legitmately believe that women were better off 50 years ago is clearly beyond salvage. Now if you don't mind, the rest of society is going to continue living in the present day.Daddy Go Bot said:
Edit: Oh shit, he got suspended! That's just hilarious! XD
A friend of mine really worded it in the most absolute truth I've ever heard. Nice guys finish last, but they finish best. In my experience, this holds soooooo true.
Damn, people already made the innuendo.
Note: I'm going to be using the universal 'you' for advice to everyone who ever brings this up.
Well, here's the thing. During high school years there is pretty much a clear split between 'assholes' and 'nice guys'. The reason assholes are attractive is because they are confident, and they've gained that confidence from belittling the 'nice guys', and whilst 'nice guys' at this stage are generally good people, they have lost confidence and probably idolized females, because they become the acid test for social status in males.
Everyone involved is just going through the insecurity of adolescence. The confident 'assholes' are just arrogant, the 'nice guys' are desperate, and the slightly thoughtless women made a kinda logical step in which one is more attractive. Although, if I was a woman I'd go for neither, or try to teach the 'nice guys' that women are just other people. There's probably tons of girls who think guys are all assholes, and they can't find the good ones either. Not everyone likes confidence. They may find it all arrogance. And maybe lots of girls identify arrogance instead of confidence and avoid it.
If you feel like making her feel special, make her feel special. Don't be glad to be with a woman, be glad to be with her. And if it's the type of woman who doesn't like that, or whatever you like doing, then they aren't for you. Simple. It's not that all women suck. Although I can understand why it seems that way.
If at this point you are truly a good guy, looking to idolize one particular woman because you like her for who she is, and not all of them for what they are, and you haven't found the right woman or indeed any woman, then you simply haven't been lucky.
I, am not lucky.
And if women appear to leave you for an ass, then thank God you're no longer with that woman, because she either hasn't grown up, or is probably an ass too. What guys usually don't realise at this point is, a lot of women are 'assholes' too. Both genders have to look hard to find the nice guys.
I often think people handle this which too much harshness that breaks spirits. It's not always that you simply aren't attractive. Everyone can be mean, and there's always probably about 100 people for you, it's just hard to find them.
And don't think you have to be some exciting guy or otherwise you'll only be useful when women want to settle down, and thus you miss all the fun of a relationship. That isn't true. You're probably exciting in some way. If women like your other qualities they'll probably find you exciting. Everyone is different. Remember that, and don't let anyone tell you differently. They is no secret cure to this, and remember most high school relationships mean nothing.
I think it's ok to feel free to ignore whether or not it could be you that's wrong, because after all, you is all you want to be, and that's all you want them to like.
And this is the part of the post where I thank all those who bothered with this wall of text on the third page of this thread, and they hopefully wonder "Why is this awesome guy single?".
So be happy. Here's a kitten:
Note: I'm going to be using the universal 'you' for advice to everyone who ever brings this up.
Well, here's the thing. During high school years there is pretty much a clear split between 'assholes' and 'nice guys'. The reason assholes are attractive is because they are confident, and they've gained that confidence from belittling the 'nice guys', and whilst 'nice guys' at this stage are generally good people, they have lost confidence and probably idolized females, because they become the acid test for social status in males.
Everyone involved is just going through the insecurity of adolescence. The confident 'assholes' are just arrogant, the 'nice guys' are desperate, and the slightly thoughtless women made a kinda logical step in which one is more attractive. Although, if I was a woman I'd go for neither, or try to teach the 'nice guys' that women are just other people. There's probably tons of girls who think guys are all assholes, and they can't find the good ones either. Not everyone likes confidence. They may find it all arrogance. And maybe lots of girls identify arrogance instead of confidence and avoid it.
If you feel like making her feel special, make her feel special. Don't be glad to be with a woman, be glad to be with her. And if it's the type of woman who doesn't like that, or whatever you like doing, then they aren't for you. Simple. It's not that all women suck. Although I can understand why it seems that way.
If at this point you are truly a good guy, looking to idolize one particular woman because you like her for who she is, and not all of them for what they are, and you haven't found the right woman or indeed any woman, then you simply haven't been lucky.
I, am not lucky.
And if women appear to leave you for an ass, then thank God you're no longer with that woman, because she either hasn't grown up, or is probably an ass too. What guys usually don't realise at this point is, a lot of women are 'assholes' too. Both genders have to look hard to find the nice guys.
I often think people handle this which too much harshness that breaks spirits. It's not always that you simply aren't attractive. Everyone can be mean, and there's always probably about 100 people for you, it's just hard to find them.
And don't think you have to be some exciting guy or otherwise you'll only be useful when women want to settle down, and thus you miss all the fun of a relationship. That isn't true. You're probably exciting in some way. If women like your other qualities they'll probably find you exciting. Everyone is different. Remember that, and don't let anyone tell you differently. They is no secret cure to this, and remember most high school relationships mean nothing.
I think it's ok to feel free to ignore whether or not it could be you that's wrong, because after all, you is all you want to be, and that's all you want them to like.
And this is the part of the post where I thank all those who bothered with this wall of text on the third page of this thread, and they hopefully wonder "Why is this awesome guy single?".
So be happy. Here's a kitten:
I don't want a guy who's just going to treat me like a princess and not get to know me. To an extent yes I do want to be treated like a princess but I'd rather be with a guy who gets to know me. that i can be myself around. that likes me for me. not for my looks. and I do want him to be what I consider a nice guy. My definition of nice guy: doesn't cheat, abuse me(mentally/physically/sexually/emotionally)...actually i think those are my only two at the moment.but you get the point. but yes they do. guys who don't care for getting to know their girlfriends seem to be more common however.
Depends.
There's a difference between a Nice Guy and a Guy who Acts nice.
It takes a special kind of person to pull off a Nice Guy with machismo. Simply because by default, the guy is simultaneously decent and masculine. But there are guys who act nice because they believe it'll help their chances. What actually happens is the guy deflates himself into a spineless doormat by moulding themselves into their interests ideals.
For someone like myself, I would label myself as a nice guy, ideally as the first type. The bottom line is, I don't worry about impressing women and by default, they want my attention. Maybe it's from a confidence I've earned in myself, maybe its because I am independent and direct, maybe it's because I look half decent, I don't know. All I can attest to is, I have never had to play the douchebag role to get what I want.
The reason why girls leave your friend, and why many other 'nice guys' fail is because they are changing themselves to appeal to their partner. Should they somehow get any kind of success, their partner will eventually realize that they were lied to or that the guy is trying way to hard to be what they want, as opposed to just being what they want. So, girls will lose interest and leave.
I have seen friends try to be nice to girls. They aren't themselves, and most girls notice this right off the bat. It's a sign of a lack of confidence and there is no greater girl repellant than that.
There's a difference between a Nice Guy and a Guy who Acts nice.
It takes a special kind of person to pull off a Nice Guy with machismo. Simply because by default, the guy is simultaneously decent and masculine. But there are guys who act nice because they believe it'll help their chances. What actually happens is the guy deflates himself into a spineless doormat by moulding themselves into their interests ideals.
For someone like myself, I would label myself as a nice guy, ideally as the first type. The bottom line is, I don't worry about impressing women and by default, they want my attention. Maybe it's from a confidence I've earned in myself, maybe its because I am independent and direct, maybe it's because I look half decent, I don't know. All I can attest to is, I have never had to play the douchebag role to get what I want.
The reason why girls leave your friend, and why many other 'nice guys' fail is because they are changing themselves to appeal to their partner. Should they somehow get any kind of success, their partner will eventually realize that they were lied to or that the guy is trying way to hard to be what they want, as opposed to just being what they want. So, girls will lose interest and leave.
I have seen friends try to be nice to girls. They aren't themselves, and most girls notice this right off the bat. It's a sign of a lack of confidence and there is no greater girl repellant than that.
Nice guys don't finish last, it just might take a little more time but you will prevail.
I never got anywhere with girls. The last one I got rejected by ended in humiliation as she was more popular than I was, and her friends started teasing her about how I liked her. That made me feel like shit.
Year after that, managed to get with someone. Didn't work out - she ended it, but afterwards I realised that we didn't have as much in common as we first thought.
8 months of loneliness later, and I started talking to a girl who I'd known for about 3 years. Found we had a lot in common, so I asked her out. We've been dating for 8 months now, and I am very, very happy.
It might take a while, but anyone can find someone. Besides, the douchebags can't hold down a relationship and have a worse reputation than good guys who don't have as many ex-girlfriends.
I never got anywhere with girls. The last one I got rejected by ended in humiliation as she was more popular than I was, and her friends started teasing her about how I liked her. That made me feel like shit.
Year after that, managed to get with someone. Didn't work out - she ended it, but afterwards I realised that we didn't have as much in common as we first thought.
8 months of loneliness later, and I started talking to a girl who I'd known for about 3 years. Found we had a lot in common, so I asked her out. We've been dating for 8 months now, and I am very, very happy.
It might take a while, but anyone can find someone. Besides, the douchebags can't hold down a relationship and have a worse reputation than good guys who don't have as many ex-girlfriends.