Do nice guys really finish last?

[gazumped]

Has it occurred to anyone that "Nice girls finish last" might apply also? If the women he is dating cheat on him and leave him when any other guy comes along, they probably aren't the nicest people in the world or the best dates. What I mean by that is that of course women will go for mean men who look nice if men go for mean women who look nice. It works both ways. If you want a good relationship as a nice guy date a nice girl.

Indeed. The problem is that nice people let themselves get walked over, and mean people often go for people with those weaknesses because they like to be able to push their partners around. And that goes both ways, there are control freak girlfriends who get a kick out of stamping on your self esteem and there are control freak boyfriends who get a kick out of stamping on your self esteem.

EDIT: Oh yeah. To the OP, yes, praising one's girlfriend all the time isn't going to help much, creepy old men on the bus can call me a beautiful princess as many times as they like, I'm not getting with them. You really need to be equal in a relationship for it to be healthy and that means not putting your partner on a pedestal and worshipping them. Telling them they look good when you first see them would make it much more believable and mean a lot more, plus you could then spend the rest of the time having actual conversations and having fun together instead of worshipping them.

 

[WeAreStevo]

Nice guys don't necessarily finish last. It depends on if you're actually a nice guy or not. Some "nice guys" are just your run of the mill neurotics who have romantic tendency. Being clingy, they feel that they're nice but are in fact driving away people.

I'm a nice guy and that was my issue for years. Finally, I had to reassess my clingyness and then I found my fiance, so for me it worked.

Take it for what you will, but there's many other factors to consider before coming to this conclusion

 

[Andothul]

From my experience (as a nice guy) nice guys finish first if they know how to not be played and taken advantage of.

In school and my job being nice, polite, and respectful has gotten me very far and one of the best ways to go places in life is by having everyone like you.
I've found that if you are nice and respectful to people they will be the same back even in big cities like New York and Chicago which surprised me.

However with women its alot more complicated.

Honestly I've found that being distant and acting like you don't care is a better way to attract a girl than going up to her and telling her shes beautiful which is sad lol.

So in life always be a good guy, with women you gotta play it by ear and adapt.

 

[iphonerose]

Oh look, it's this again.

To take a quote from Extra Credits: "This is just a cursory and poor interpretation of the data before us."

I am honestly baffled here. Guys honestly think that girls love assholes or that they hate nice guys. That's not true.

Here's the truth: Girls love confidence. The unfortunate reality though is that assholes tend to be a lot more confident than nice guys are. And a lot of nice guys are only nice because they can't get away with being an asshole like other assholes do.

At least that's how it is in high school. Dating becomes a lot different after that.

This guy has said everything I was going to. He's spot on

 

[Crazy]

You must be assertive. You must show dominance. You must be prepared. Or you'll be walked all over.

 

[halfeclipse]

I can answer that question (And the implied one of are nice guys better then jerks, etc) with three words. Heck they're even words we already have: Nice Guys Finish.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Wacky Races has taught me that it is in fact the dastardly that finish last. They never get the pigeon either.

 

[Indeterminacy]

People have been too quick to dismiss the point that Daddy Go Bot has been trying to make about gender roles (though perhaps he has been overly dismissive of people in general). We live in a world divided into masculine and feminine. This division is not easy to understand for most of us, and rarely splits the world up the way we would like it to be split, but the divide is there, and tends to place dominant, entrepeneurial and aggressive tasks on one side and co-operative, psychological and compassionate tasks on the other.

The theory that he seems to be saying is that the feminine gender seeks the masculine gender as a complementation. And this seems right to me, in as much as a good balance of character traits in a partnership is a positive thing both socially and individually. So the reason nice guys "finish last", as it were, is that they're really calling upon feminine social traits in their self-definition.

To back this up, he also pre-empts the suggestion that this isn't or needn't be the way the world is. The existence of Feminism would seem to support his theory that this is how things currently are (because it's still very much thought of as "women's rights", and it's still thought that this is a goal that hasn't yet been reached), but resist his suggestion that changing this state of affairs is impossible.

The other primary challenge to DGB's position is one of emasculation by technology. That is, the roles that men have traditionally played in society are being usurped by machines and communication channels reducing the need for manual labour, rigid corporate hierarchies and strict protection of individual property rights. We nowadays see the most egrarious examples of the last throws of man in the world of Politics and Economy, both of whom are being gradually revealed in the onslaught of free information as the hiding places of men who simply haven't a clue what the heck they were supposed to be doing.

I think he's right that the feminine gender seeks a certain amount of external stability in men qua masculinity, and that this goes a long way towards explaining the "nice guys finish last" phenomenon, but that he's very wrong to think that this is a rock-solid aspect of the world we live in. The times, they are a-changin'.

 

[Broady Brio]

I haven't even finished this race, which everyone talks about. Where do I start?

 

[Delsana]

Nice guys are taken advantage of even in just friendships with other guys... they'll be ied to insulted, harassed, and destroyed and in the end? It doesn't really matter to the people who hurt them, as they'll believe they did nothing wrong and just insult the person if they show any resistance or reluctance. It doesn't matter what religion or mentality they are... it always happens bar none.

I get so tired of seeing it in either my life or the lives of others and it's all because people who are truly "nice guys" not the opinionated definition of them, are just too different and mentally abstract than the norm of society.

It's the people who will lay their lives down for another that seem to get the worst of it.

---

As for relationships? I honestly don't care much about those rather than friendship's, but to be honest, men who can't really express themselves in a strong means are usually drained of everything they've got.

 

[Mischa87]

Stop messing with my view of the world lest ye find my nailed club resting between your feted buttocks!

..... That honestly wasn't sexual!

That's not what I'm hearing *grin*

To be fair, it's actually called "Piper's pub" It's not an English pub, but a Scottish one, we're pretty big on Scottish stuff in Nova Scotia... I wonder why.... (Nova Scotia means New-Scotland by the way, was being sarcastic)

 

[Delsana]

I'm a 21 year old virgin who's never had any form of romantic relationship with either sex. You have no right to complain.

TO THE PUB WITH YOU YOUNG SIR!

When I read that I instantly thought, this guy is British!

I checked you profile.

I love being right.

Well who else is gonna say pub? I don't even think anywhere else but the UK has pubs anymore.

You're all modern with your trendy wine bars and cluuuuubs. Pffffft. Your clubs don't even have nails in them. How are you supposed to successfully vanquish your enemies with nailless clubs.

Barbarity, barbarity at it's purest.

Nope, give me a good old English pub, or better yet. A straw dusted tavern with casks of ye'ole short mead.... and my trusty nailed club for the ladies. Bitches love nailed clubs.

Sorry, but I really need my dessert wines and cigar bars....

 

[Orinon]

nah, they just finish in the shower.

 

[Madara XIII]

I called my girl princess all the time, then she started telling another guy she loved him and tried to get a gang of kids to jump me.
Nice guys finish last.

...I feel the need to cry with you man. *Grabs box of tissues*

 

[Madara XIII]

Wacky Races has taught me that it is in fact the dastardly that finish last. They never get the pigeon either.

*Snickers like Muttly*

XD

Oh so true

 

[PatrickXD]

If you can't talk to her, you're not really having a relationship.

Spoiler: I have an anecdote that would suit this particular thread

There is a girl. She and I have been very good friends for about two years, and there has always been an unspoken notion that we would inevitably end up dating. Neither of us wanted this, however, because we were either interested in some fleeting crush or doing some hardcore schoolwork to try and get some good grades.
Recently, we both found gaps in these problems and grew closer together, we were planning on going out on a date and I was gonna ask her out. Unfortunately my plans were spoiled by some family issues.
In my absence, she invited a couple of friends over to her house, and all of them eventually left as the evening drew to a close. All but one, who decided to make a move on her.
Now, she had never had a boyfriend up to this previous week, and so had never kissed anyone. This guy who she didn't really know, who was more of a tag along character in our group, is very forward and sexually active. I don't know of anyone elses experiences on this site, but a kiss can mean a whole lot to an emotional teenager, and she fell for him.
He isn't a nice guy, he's over the top, selfish, controlling and most of all very demanding in terms of sexual activity.
She isn't so comfortable with this, and is only now realising exactly what's going on, having taken a few days for the first kiss effect to 'wear off'. She wants nothing more than to break up with him now, and has recently been desperate to get closer to me.
So this is how it's gonna work out, from my perspective: She's going to dump this horny teen, and ask me out. I'm gonna say yes, we're gonna have some good times.
EDIT: I guess I should make it a bit clearer: I don't exactly fir your description of a 'nice guy', ie; I don't sit there and call a girl beautiful and wonderful 24/7, but I am a total rock in terms of reliability and trustworthiness. I have a strong moral compass and would never go out of my way to harm another.

And the moral of the story is: Nice guys finish last, but that's exactly where you want to be!

 

[Folksoul]

Green Day wrote a song about it. That makes it true.

 

[damselgaming]

We do love the 'tools'! Though I'll be brutally honest, when I lust over a man it's because he's hot and a bit, rough around the edges shall we say. When I love a man he is usually the opposite, still hot but not quite the dream guy!

 

[Substitute Troll]

Eh. If a girl asks for my opinion I will give it. If I think she's made a mistake I'll point it out, but there's no need to be a jerk about it or try to bring down her self confidence. I don't see what the problem is, you just need to find a good balance between nice and laid back.

 

[lRookiel]

Im not a "Nice guy" im just a person who is nice to others, but I lack confidence in myself, which is why I finish last to the confident party animals or muscle bound douchebags that get all the girls....

So yes, We nicer and shyer guys finish last.

Also the fact I like Ponies wont be helping my chances either.....