Do nice guys really finish last?

[Crazycat690]

I actually read somewhere sometime that it's a scientific fact that women prefer bad boys.

So when a nice guy asks himself how to get girls, the answer is treat them like crap. Although I hope it isn't true because then I will die alone.

I've also noticed women can be alot meaner than guys, I mean guys can do pretty bad stuff but when girls go bad, they go REALLY bad. One girl I had a relationship with really shattered view of girls in general, I noticed a guy was talking very flirty with her on facebook, then I asked him if we was aware that she was in a relationship with me, I was totally unprepared for his answer... He said that the girl had said that we weren't actually together, that I paid her to be my girlfriend on facebook because I was some sort of creep. I tried to convince him otherwise but he believed her no matter what, I broke up with her and sure enough they are a couple soon after, although they also broke up soon after for a third guy and then I laughed and laghed at him for doubting me^^ Revenge seldom taste sweet, but when it do it's worth more then all the riches in the world...

 

[bushwhacker2k]

People are saying that people change as they age, but IMO probably just the wrong girls if they dump him to get treated like crap.

I don't know where this 'nice guys finish last' came from (it's pretty old) but I haven't really found that the level of kindness you exude determines the inherent speed at which you finish things.

I actually read somewhere sometime that it's a scientific fact that women prefer bad boys.

Oookay. Just gonna say right now without any scientific facts backing this up you may as well say "I've read somewhere that all people living on Earth now originated from the Egyptians, and they were all originally aliens and humans were actually wiped off the face of the Earth."

I'm not saying that it might not be the case in some situations, but statements like that that inherently rely on evidence and fact presented with none of the above don't really contribute anything.

 

[F7A537]

nice guys finish last, mostly.
i'm a good guy, as in I compliment my girlfriend but not all the time-that just makes you look kinda needy, treat your girlfriend well obviously and give her attention but make sure to try and be confident too and show that you aren't needy. tell her you love her and be nice but my mate did this too much and she left him for a total dick for what appeared to be just self confidence. try the confidence, it will work...done correctly, don't be too arrogant while being confident.

 

[DesiPrinceX09]

Obviously not, because I am nice guy among nice guys and I got a good girl
And she doesn't chase after bad boys while leaving good guys in the friend zone, she is smart enough to see past all that and went for me which is awesome.

 

[bushwhacker2k]

To elaborate: I seem to be seeing a lot of assumptions that one factor, kindness, drives women away.

It seems much more likely that it's a number of factors that may or may be not even be related to kindness, including the woman in question.

 

[Porygon-2000]

I'm a 21 year old virgin who's never had any form of romantic relationship with either sex. You have no right to complain.

TO THE PUB WITH YOU YOUNG SIR!

When I read that I instantly thought, this guy is British!

I checked you profile.

I love being right.

Well who else is gonna say pub? I don't even think anywhere else but the UK has pubs anymore.

You're all modern with your trendy wine bars and cluuuuubs. Pffffft. Your clubs don't even have nails in them. How are you supposed to successfully vanquish your enemies with nailless clubs.

Barbarity, barbarity at it's purest.

Nope, give me a good old English pub, or better yet. A straw dusted tavern with casks of ye'ole short mead.... and my trusty nailed club for the ladies. Bitches love nailed clubs.

...I was so tempted to just go full cliche'd outback on you right there, but that would be off topic slightly, mate.

Personally, I reckon they should just hang in there. Maybe hold back on the lovie-dovey slightly, but by all means keep trying. Eventually, your lucky numbers will come around and you'll find someone you truly belong with.

 

[ZeroMachine]

Well, kinda. In my experience, at least. I'm a nice guy, and she always finished firs....

Oh, wait, we're talking about something else here, aren't we?

 

[Belaam]

Guys who whine about being nice guys who finish last will ALWAYS lose out.

Confidence.

A balance between being nice and not objectifying her. (If I started calling my wife "Princess", she'd only think I was insulting her - the stereotypical princess image is of a pampered idiot who is constantly the victim)

Did I mention confidence? Because that comes from having some sort of skill set - it's hard to be confident if you don't have any skills to be confident in. Know that you bring A, B & C to the relationship and that she brings X, Y, and Z.

That said, a vote against all the people saying don't be friends. A girlfriend and eventually wife should be a great friend with whom you can trade orgasms.

 

[H1shAsh1]

Being nice or not isn't really the issue imo. Women just want a confident guy who isn't co-dependent or clingy.
Guy's who are douchebags tend to be confident and not give a fuck about the girl. So girls chase with the hope that they can change him and he'll be nice.

If you are super nice but don't smother her; don't wait on her hand and foot, don't try to talk to her multiple times a day (or even every day); you will avoid the friend zone.

Also, don't reek of desperation. Just be cool and give 'em space. Girls want boyfriends just like boys want girlfriends. But no one wants a needy shadow.

 

[Garret866]

Women who don't want nice guys are idiots, and being a nice guy you wouldn't want to be with these bitches

 

[cahtush]

Socially awkward, insecure guys finish last.

Sucks for me :/
OT: The less the older we get i think.

 

[Athinira]

Trying to change natural human behavior and gender as a whole has certainly not borne fruit and I doubt it ever will.

Did you know women are more miserable now than they were 50 years ago?

Change is what makes us who we are today. And not just a bunch of apes. Or microscopic organisms. We grow, evolve and adapt. And in the end, we were better for it.

There is a difference between cultural and genetic change/adaption.

What he is talking about is the fact that in the last few decades, cultural change has happened at an increasingly rapid rate, to the point where our genetics can't keep up and adapt properly.

It's true that culturally the roles of men and women have changed a lot in the last many years. But genetically, we haven't, and that's what's causing the "miserable" problem he is talking about. We, as human beings, aren't 100% genetically ready for the change of path our culture has taken in the last many years, and (like it or not), our genetics is what determines our drives and desires. At the genetic level, the man is still the provider, the leader and the protector, and the woman is still the mother and housekeeper. This is not misogynistic, this is pure fact. Strip us of our culture for a minute, and we are no different than animals, which functions the way i just described in almost every case.

The thing is, he is actually right about most of what he is saying. Women are generally still hardwired on a genetic level to feel attraction for guys who shows that he still posses the so called "male" instinct, you know the instinct that was meant to help us survive and protect the family back when that was still necessary. And yes, it's also true that most women don't know what they want, because what they want is drives that are layered on a subconscious level. Women are naturally attracted to several things and personality traits, including wealth, good looks etc. (physical attributes), and on the personality side they are attracted to mystique, excitement and confidence. And confidence DOES typically mean a man who takes control, someone who can bring her excitement and stability at the same time, which is a very unusual combination in this day and age (a few centuries ago, 'stability' would also imply the ability to protect her from dangers, which is hardly relevant nowadays).

It's important to note that just because a man have the qualities you seek if you want to fulfill your dream of a 50/50 relationship, that doesn't mean he is going to attract you, now is it? You are yourself in control of your dreams and hopes for how your life should be, but you are not in control of what ATTRACTS you. Attraction isn't a choice. It's a trait that is primarily controlled by genetics. Hell, if all you truly wanted was a 50/50 relationship to each others mutual benefit, you could marry me. I just doubt it's what you want )

Edit: It should be noted, of course, that exceptions still exist and always WILL exist. If you happen to be one of the exceptions, then all the more power to you, but what i just said apply to most of the worlds population. I can't give you any specific numbers, but I'd say that 95%+ isn't too far off.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Hey, I'm a nice guy and it takes me ages to finish. *giggles*

I don't really think it's true. I think the bigger problem is that 'nice guys' have less confidence and so they never get anywhere in starting relationships.

 

[Calvar Draveir]

That depends entirely on what you define as a "Nice Guy", I think.

 

[socialmenace42]

Next time, say a lot of mean things to her and she will tell another guy she doesn't love him, and she will get a gang of kids to jump herself. Is that how it works? Only one way to find out!

I like this guy.

OT: simple rule: two people who are actually invested in a relationship, care about each other and try to make things work (this involves BOTH partners looking past each others shortcomings and focussing on what makes them like spending time with each other)and most importantly are honest with each other have the best chance of having a lengthly fulfilling relationship.

Alright, this is the 21st century and I realise that not everyone is interested in that. No problem, if you are completely convinced of that that's absolutely fine. It's possible to be a decent person and have short relationships which aren't based on strong emotions. Basically what I'm saying is being a 'nice guy' doesn't mean you're a weedy sensitive guy who writes poetry and practices it in front of the mirror, being a nice guy means nothing more than exactly that: a nice guy. If you're honest with you intentions from the start, know exactly what you want and remain adamant in your respect for the boundaries and limitations on what other people see as a 'relationship' then you seriously are a nice person(I'm including women in this definition btw)

If however, you misuse any of the criteria above, say pretending you are interested in more than just sex or, use your gifts of persuasion to get someone into something they don't want or even if you simply refuse to accept someones definition of a healthy relationship and pervert that to your own ends

you are a tool
and you loose.

 

[OManoghue]

If your a nice guy you should try to finish after your lady, yeah.

 

[Captain_Fantastic]

as my group of friends say im a nice, amazing, talented, funny guy.
i try my best to treat women fairly i don't "worship" girls im attracted to
im nearly 19 and i had my first kiss last week. by a girl who isn't even interested in me
my only ever girlfriend moved away and forgot about me
every other girl ive ever liked in this shithole i live in has turned to hate me. or thinks im just another piece of shit.

im not usually this blunt but im just cynical today
so yeah to follow up nice guys may not allways finish last but you get farther ahead if you just use girls

 

[tobyornottoby]

There is a difference between cultural and genetic change/adaption.

What he is talking about is the fact that in the last few decades, cultural change has happened at an increasingly rapid rate, to the point where our genetics can't keep up and adapt properly.

It's true that culturally the roles of men and women have changed a lot in the last many years. But genetically, we haven't, and that's what's causing the "miserable" problem he is talking about. We, as human beings, aren't 100% genetically ready for the change of path our culture has taken in the last many years, and (like it or not), our genetics is what determines our drives and desires. At the genetic level, the man is still the provider, the leader and the protector, and the woman is still the mother and housekeeper. This is not misogynistic, this is pure fact. Strip us of our culture for a minute, and we are no different than animals, which functions the way i just described in almost every case.

The thing is, he is actually right about most of what he is saying. Women are generally still hardwired on a genetic level to feel attraction for guys who shows that he still posses the so called "male" instinct, you know the instinct that was meant to help us survive and protect the family back when that was still necessary. And yes, it's also true that most women don't know what they want, because what they want is drives that are layered on a subconscious level. Women are naturally attracted to several things and personality traits, including wealth, good looks etc. (physical attributes), and on the personality side they are attracted to mystique, excitement and confidence. And confidence DOES typically mean a man who takes control, someone who can bring her excitement and stability at the same time, which is a very unusual combination in this day and age (a few centuries ago, 'stability' would also imply the ability to protect her from dangers, which is hardly relevant nowadays).

It's important to note that just because a man have the qualities you seek if you want to fulfill your dream of a 50/50 relationship, that doesn't mean he is going to attract you, now is it? You are yourself in control of your dreams and hopes for how your life should be, but you are not in control of what ATTRACTS you. Attraction isn't a choice. It's a trait that is primarily controlled by genetics. Hell, if all you truly wanted was a 50/50 relationship to each others mutual benefit, you could marry me. I just doubt it's what you want )

Edit: It should be noted, of course, that exceptions still exist and always WILL exist. If you happen to be one of the exceptions, then all the more power to you, but what i just said apply to most of the worlds population. I can't give you any specific numbers, but I'd say that 95%+ isn't too far off.

I'd say it is, although I don't have the numbers at hand either.

It's also not black-and-white. While highly feminine men and highly masculine women are indeed rare exceptions, so are ubermasculine men and uberfeminine women. Most men have some degree of fimininity, and vice versa.

The change has indeed given all the more power to the exceptions, so saying it hasn't borne any fruit is just wrong.

 

[somonels]

Yes. Because they were holding the door open for everyone else.

A big <3-cone to all the support players out there.

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

I was once a "nice guy" I spent 8 years without pussy because of it, I figured out what I was doing wrong, changed my outlook, and now when I want a woman, I get one.

Thing is, buying stuff for a woman all the time, paying for everything, comes off as you trying to buy her affection, spending should be a 50/50 split if possible.
Also attraction is different for women than it is for men, realizing this and keeping it in mind is essencial.
Men are generally very visually attracted, it's natural for us to find certain things attractive, we don't all like the same things, but we are usually attracted by sight first, then other things.
Women obviously don't have anything against good looks, in fact they can help, but generally there are many many other things going on before they matter, your attitude, your posture and your scent, are far more important than your looks, if you have a confident positive attitude, and stay in control of yourself and your general situation, that goes a loooong way, if you have a decent flexible sense of humour, also helps a lot(same with in any kind of relationship, people like people who know how to be funny or make things funny), if you stand tall and lean back(not towards her) when sitting together, that helps a lot too, and seriously if you smell like ass that is gonna hurt your chances of getting within arms distance of any woman without turning her so far off that it kills 100% of your chances instantly.

Now on the topic of scent, you don't HAVE to wear cologn, in fact most guys wear too much if they wear any so it's a nose violating air impurity rather than a nice smell.
Usually I've found a good cologn helps, but you realy just hafta smell clean, so shower and wash the sweaty bits on your body TWICE, maybe use a good body wash, I've found the old spice odour blocking body wash to have a nice lingering fresh smell, the blue stuff is the best stuff(can't remember the name), also axe body sprays though they are usually totally horrible smelling, essence is a good one if you can find it, it has a relatively mild odour, but it smells nice, and isn't too fruity or weird smelling.
If you do wear cologn, for the love of all things holy unholy or living, please use only a dab, generally dabbing it on your inner wrist then rubbing your wrists together then rubbing those wrists on the sides of your neck is the best way to apply it, after all, that gives you good coverage where a woman is likely to smell you in close, without violating her sense of smell.

Just a few guidelines there, but even following those guidelines, I've gone from wussy bastard with no clue to getting dates/phone numbers with ease, I'm only ever alone by choice, or by freak circumstance, like all the best drinking establishments are closed and all the women i have numbers for are out of town or dead or something... I have yet to experience this, but I will not deny the possibility, because I know as soon as I deny it, it'll happen at the worst time.

Oh, and dental hygene is important beyond mention(which might be why i almost forgot to mention it), taking care of yourself first is a sign of independance and strength, this is importance, women generally don't like a wussy mama's boy or a man child who can't take care of himself.

also important fassion tip, if you wear a belt and are wearing leather shoes, same colour guys, a brown belt with black shoes(ore vise versa) is tacky and uncoordinated looking, women sometimes(hell depending where you live and the female demographic you are looking at, often if not always) notice this kinda thing, so it's a good thing to keep in mind.