Do nice guys really finish last?
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calling your girlfriend beautiful 24/7 is NOT being a nice guy, that's being vaguely creepy. vaguely creepy guys absolutely finish last. girls don't want flowers and gifts and cheesy words every day, they want to date someone who likes them. you don't prove that you like someone by calling her beautiful, you do it by remembering her favorite candy or sending her a gif of a cat falling off a table when she's in a bad mood or not wearing that shirt she hates when you two have a date.
bottom line: if you want to stop finishing last, stop assuming that being a good boyfriend means being a creepy, clingy mess. real life is not twilight.
bottom line: if you want to stop finishing last, stop assuming that being a good boyfriend means being a creepy, clingy mess. real life is not twilight.
It seems to me that girls like the ones this thread is discussing confuse arrogance for confidence, which is why they are attracted to assholes, because they are nothing if not arrogant.
And despite popular belief, you can be confident without being a jerk, and nice without being a wuss. they are not mutually exclusive. not every nice guy is a wuss, not every confident guy is a jerk.
I've had my girlfriend for 3 years and I consider myself a nice guy, I call her princess and all that jazz, but I don't let people walk over me. If someone starts pushing me around at a party, I'll fight back, but that doesn't mean I have to go and start being the tool that starts the pushing.
"Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong."
And despite popular belief, you can be confident without being a jerk, and nice without being a wuss. they are not mutually exclusive. not every nice guy is a wuss, not every confident guy is a jerk.
I've had my girlfriend for 3 years and I consider myself a nice guy, I call her princess and all that jazz, but I don't let people walk over me. If someone starts pushing me around at a party, I'll fight back, but that doesn't mean I have to go and start being the tool that starts the pushing.
"Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong."
I don?t claim to be some master of relationships or a self-help guru. I?m just a guy logging his penny?s worth. You can get the fashion tips and pick up lines anywhere; I?m just giving you my account on matters.
I would say that the most likely people to actually attempt to ask a girl out are those who project the necessary suave and confidence and are usually the more outgoing ones. Allot of the time the more confident types are also the more likely to take advantage of their dates or come and go as they please.
However the more shy, what you might consider ?The nice guys?, guys usually don?t even attempt to ask girls out out and therefore the women usually end up dating the kind of people who are more likely to take advantage than the shy guys who may treat them better.
My advice on meeting someone would be as simple as talk to her. The majority of times guys are so petrified of rejection they miss every opportunity that presents itself. Simply approaching someone and saying hello is a big step that very few guys ever dare to take. If you?re the kind of person who doesn?t go to bars chances are you won?t find the kind of person you would want to be with there. Go to parks, coffee shops etc. If you try to change yourself or model yourself after someone else people will smell it a mile off.
My advice on keeping someone you care about is simply hearing. Probably the worst thing you could do (Outside of cheating, abuse etc) is ignore what they?re saying or ignore them. That doesn?t mean call them 24/7, give expensive gifts or remain tied at the hip for all eternity, it just means make sure that you have time together and that you actually hear what they say, there?s a difference between listening and hearing.
After reading allot of the comments here I can say that I spent allot of time like that. I used to think of myself as a Lone Wolf type, never understood relationships, and never thought I would have one. Personally I was lucky to find my girlfriend, mostly because she asked me out on a completely unrelated topic and I was completely clueless to her advances at first. But it happened to me, I remember it as the happiest time of my life and it showed- my work improved, my friends saw the change in me and I had a revelation that has stayed with me. Never think it can?t happen for you or you?re too far gone, the only obstacle you have to overcome is your own fear.
I would like to challenge anyone currently single in search of some kind of relationship to go out this weekend and talk to someone you see you think you might like. I guarantee whatever the outcome you will find it a richly rewarding experience. I hope to have a few replies to this to accompany the torrent of hate mail, death threats and court injunctions one has to from expect posting things on the internet these days.
I would say that the most likely people to actually attempt to ask a girl out are those who project the necessary suave and confidence and are usually the more outgoing ones. Allot of the time the more confident types are also the more likely to take advantage of their dates or come and go as they please.
However the more shy, what you might consider ?The nice guys?, guys usually don?t even attempt to ask girls out out and therefore the women usually end up dating the kind of people who are more likely to take advantage than the shy guys who may treat them better.
My advice on meeting someone would be as simple as talk to her. The majority of times guys are so petrified of rejection they miss every opportunity that presents itself. Simply approaching someone and saying hello is a big step that very few guys ever dare to take. If you?re the kind of person who doesn?t go to bars chances are you won?t find the kind of person you would want to be with there. Go to parks, coffee shops etc. If you try to change yourself or model yourself after someone else people will smell it a mile off.
My advice on keeping someone you care about is simply hearing. Probably the worst thing you could do (Outside of cheating, abuse etc) is ignore what they?re saying or ignore them. That doesn?t mean call them 24/7, give expensive gifts or remain tied at the hip for all eternity, it just means make sure that you have time together and that you actually hear what they say, there?s a difference between listening and hearing.
After reading allot of the comments here I can say that I spent allot of time like that. I used to think of myself as a Lone Wolf type, never understood relationships, and never thought I would have one. Personally I was lucky to find my girlfriend, mostly because she asked me out on a completely unrelated topic and I was completely clueless to her advances at first. But it happened to me, I remember it as the happiest time of my life and it showed- my work improved, my friends saw the change in me and I had a revelation that has stayed with me. Never think it can?t happen for you or you?re too far gone, the only obstacle you have to overcome is your own fear.
I would like to challenge anyone currently single in search of some kind of relationship to go out this weekend and talk to someone you see you think you might like. I guarantee whatever the outcome you will find it a richly rewarding experience. I hope to have a few replies to this to accompany the torrent of hate mail, death threats and court injunctions one has to from expect posting things on the internet these days.
wait wait wait, you broke up with a girl because you didn't think you two weren't a good match, and then you hooked up with some other girl?
you FUCKING ASSHOLE, THAT'S WHAT MY EX DID TO ME. she must of felt terrible
but to answer your question, yes, nice guys finish last. as you can see, i am now a dick, and it helps. something bothers you? be a dick to it, it goes away. but for women, be nice, but don't show too much affection, they don't like that for some reason.
you FUCKING ASSHOLE, THAT'S WHAT MY EX DID TO ME. she must of felt terrible
but to answer your question, yes, nice guys finish last. as you can see, i am now a dick, and it helps. something bothers you? be a dick to it, it goes away. but for women, be nice, but don't show too much affection, they don't like that for some reason.
Only if your definition of "nice guy" is someone with no self-esteem and zero self-confidence. There is nothing sexier than a man who likes what he likes, knows what he wants, and won't compromise his principles - yet is still respectful to others. Don't be an asshole, or a doormat.
If it is, though - in that case "nice girls" finish last too.
If it is, though - in that case "nice girls" finish last too.
Generally I've found that men who whine about girls not liking them because they're 'too nice' tend to be passive, unsure and distinctly similar to door mats. It's really not attractive. At all. Then again, being an asshole isn't attractive either. It's all about balance.
A girl can tell if you're sucking up to her, for whatever reason. It can be flattering for a short while, but tends to become annoying and almost a little creepy the longer it progresses. And judging by him having 5 girlfriends in a year, it seems that he's more infatuated with the thought of being in a relationship rather than the actual relationship, which isn't exactly what makes a girl feel special.
I don't want any man I'm dating to constantly treat me like a princess - I'm a person. I drink milk straight from the carton and my hair looks funny in the morning. Treating me like I never go to the bathroom and fart butterflies would make me feel self-conscious and stressed out.
A girl can tell if you're sucking up to her, for whatever reason. It can be flattering for a short while, but tends to become annoying and almost a little creepy the longer it progresses. And judging by him having 5 girlfriends in a year, it seems that he's more infatuated with the thought of being in a relationship rather than the actual relationship, which isn't exactly what makes a girl feel special.
I don't want any man I'm dating to constantly treat me like a princess - I'm a person. I drink milk straight from the carton and my hair looks funny in the morning. Treating me like I never go to the bathroom and fart butterflies would make me feel self-conscious and stressed out.
Nice guys don't finish last; introverted ones do. Typically, people associate "nice guys" with shy guys which are not one and the same. If you never tell the girl you like her or ask her out, of course she's going to move on. Most girls want a nice guy. (Mind you, I totally disregard high school dating. For the vast majority of cases, it's kind of a joke compared to adult relationships, though it is beneficial as it helps a person to learn what they want.) However, most girls also want a guy who is willing to make the first move, at least some of the time.
If you're too nice, prepare to be friend zoned.
Find a middle ground if you don't feel like being an asshole.
But, I have a friend who is a massive asshole and he gets chick after chick after chick.
Find a middle ground if you don't feel like being an asshole.
But, I have a friend who is a massive asshole and he gets chick after chick after chick.
i got told by a lot of my female friends that women go through a phase of dating complete idiots and morons for some strange reason (they included) and then tend to grow out of it when they hit about 25 and wise up a touch 
Im in a working problem like that right now, i was talking to this chick that she seamed cool we got along fine and all. This last week her car broke down so hell whats $39 in gas to help out a friend.
well cars fixed
no more answering texts
says no more than 5 words to me right now
we will see how it works out in 3 - 7 days from now if it doesn't get better, yea i lost $39 and should of learned a lesson
that lesson being listen to the people that tell you the chick only dates black guys and save your self the trouble
btw im 21 shes 23 or 24?
well cars fixed
no more answering texts
says no more than 5 words to me right now
we will see how it works out in 3 - 7 days from now if it doesn't get better, yea i lost $39 and should of learned a lesson
that lesson being listen to the people that tell you the chick only dates black guys and save your self the trouble
btw im 21 shes 23 or 24?
We're not all like that, just thought i'd put that out there and we aren't all the same as Mr. 1950's above. Not denying guys like that don't exist, but i like to think the we aren't all like that and not all of us are 'controlling dickheads'.EverythingIncredible said:
That said, I'm sort of like you in that i don't really have a great interest in relationships as of right now.
Nice guys finish last because women don't want 'nice guys' they want 'sweet guys' and 'gentle guys' and 'protective guys'. 'Nice guys' generally get confused and act insincere, or nonassertive, or any manner of red flags that women grow up and realise actually mark the jerks.
Moreover, it's not about how nice you are, or even how sweet, or gentle. It's about emotional connection, and if you can't actually connect emotionally, your niceness isn't going to make things happen for you.
Lastly, never, EVER, play the nice card for pity, or be cloying with it. These are not being nice, these are being emotionally abusive or intrusive. Know the difference.
Moreover, it's not about how nice you are, or even how sweet, or gentle. It's about emotional connection, and if you can't actually connect emotionally, your niceness isn't going to make things happen for you.
Lastly, never, EVER, play the nice card for pity, or be cloying with it. These are not being nice, these are being emotionally abusive or intrusive. Know the difference.
In my experience they do, also one of my friends who is a typical 'nice guy' has had a few girlfriends
Passive aggressive shy guys finish last.
Asshole guys get the early lead, but fall flat on their ass halfway through the race.
Nice guys tend to be the ones who keep the steady pace and finish first.
Asshole guys get the early lead, but fall flat on their ass halfway through the race.
Nice guys tend to be the ones who keep the steady pace and finish first.
