Do you believe in love?

[Falcon123]

I'll put it like this: Fourteen months into my relationship with my girlfriend, I knew I was feeling something so powerful and wonderful that even describing it as love in a society that's downplayed its meaning seemed irreverent. I care about her for who she is as much as I care for my own well-being, and can see her as independent while also maintaining the "us" that makes relationships a relationship.

No matter what happens between us, I will always care for this woman, even if what's best for her is far from what's best for me. Being able to put another's wants and desires above your own and mean it is true love. And the joy it brings is one I only hope that those of you who do not yet believe in it will experience. There's nothing better.

 

[Falcon123]

"If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two ;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run ;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun."
John Donne.

my answer is yes. it doesn't preoccupy the majority of human expression because its trivial.

Your John Donne reference makes me happy

 

[boosh-boosh]

Of course you are entitled to your opinion, and I hope I wasn't giving off the impression you weren't. I just wanted to make sure that you were saying those things based on a broad range of experience and perspective. So many "love cynics" on forums like these are just jaded teenagers who have decided that the world is a black, loveless pit filled with only despair and broken hearts just because that cute girl in Jr. High spurned them for the star quarterback.

So I'm not saying people shouldn't be entitled to their opinions. I'm just saying that unless the romantic thing truly isn't your thing, and you know that as a fact about yourself, you shouldn't be so quick to close yourself off from love. Personality traits are one thing, but avoiding something you actually do need out of the fear of rejection is another thing entirely.

Ah, frightfully sorry for the misunderstanding... and well done on your quest to rid forums of angsting teens

 

[Azuaron]

snip

I'm a psychologist, so yes, I know all that. But love isn't that simple, or you'd spontaneously fall in love with half the wo/men in your gym. Similarly, if love were that simple, you'd fall in love with everyone you have sex with (endorphin release in the brain nearly identical--or stronger--to release when couples reunite after a long time apart). Further, people with incompatible immune systems would never fall in love (they do), and women coming off birth control would never be able to stay with their SOs after finding out they can't stand the smell.

But the fact of the matter is, love is more than that. Love is shared memories, and sacrifice, and sharing the load, and mutual empathy, and a million other little things that have nothing directly related to biology other than "my brain is on".

 

[Zorak the Mantis]

I think love is like god, I will believe it when I find it.

 

[Yopaz]

snip

I'm a psychologist, so yes, I know all that. But love isn't that simple, or you'd spontaneously fall in love with half the wo/men in your gym. Similarly, if love were that simple, you'd fall in love with everyone you have sex with (endorphin release in the brain nearly identical--or stronger--to release when couples reunite after a long time apart). Further, people with incompatible immune systems would never fall in love (they do), and women coming off birth control would never be able to stay with their SOs after finding out they can't stand the smell.

But the fact of the matter is, love is more than that. Love is shared memories, and sacrifice, and sharing the load, and mutual empathy, and a million other little things that have nothing directly related to biology other than "my brain is on".

If you bothered to read my whole post and you had actually quote it rather than just reply to it you would see that I did state that I don't know how everything about love works. I said I can't understand all the reasons. Of course there are factors we aren't aware of, but there is a fact that we do produce chemicals when we are in love. There is a fact that producing those ARE triggered by secondary messengers. Or do you state that this is only in our head? (Pun intended)
I also said that these substances that make us fall in love isn't a smell in the common sense as we do not smell it. It's a substance that's almost fucking unique for every fucking individual. You don't fall in love with everyone because everyone got a different EZ configuration for ever atom in a large molecule. I didn't say we fall in love with the smell of sweat. Almost unique substances secreted through sweat, not sweat.

I also said in my post that there's a difference between love and affection. If you are going to actually debate, don't put your own meanings in my post just so you can be right by your definition.

 

[smithy_2045]

I believe in love. It's one of the few exceptions to my general cynicism. Thing is, though, a lot of people start throwing around the word without really meaning it (such as a relationship that doesn't last because of insincere feelings, or whatever... hell, even I'm guilty, as I told someone I loved him when he found me root beer). But love does exist, regardless.

You have expressed what I wanted to say way better than I would've been able to.

 

[Erja_Perttu]

Love is a disgusting, malefic cankersore on the human species. It is among the most foul and horrific things imaginable, a punishment which gives one the mere illusion of happiness, when really, all that exists within the emotion is pain. I believe in it the same way I believe in war, chaos and death.

Aren't you a little ray of sunshine! Shall I get you your teddy bear to cheer you up?

I definitely believe love exists, but it's not automatically a good thing that it does.

I've seen people do exceptional things for love, and I've seen the lives of my friends grow and flourish as they've found people they want to share the rest of their lives with.

I've seen some people hurt to the point of needing therapy, I've heard people sobbing because the person they love has hit them again, or cheated. These people will then refuse to leave their partner because they love them.

Love can be the most beautiful thing in the world, or the most painful, and it can make or break a person. I consider myself very lucky to be in a healthy, happy, loving relationship.

 

[Zarkov]

If you don't believe in love, you have never been in love.

You're forgetting one small detail: Some of the non-believers come from the fact that they had been in love but their other person had been a dick and decided to leave them. (Or something along those lines.) So they had been in love, but still don't believe in love.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

If you don't believe in love, you have never been in love.

Basically that. People say 'Herp derp, luv r just chemiculs!' are being silly, because if you're going to say that about it, why aren't you saying that about everything? I'm guessing it's what lonely people say to make themselves feel better.

 

[uzo]

To all the cynics:

Well ... there's these things called 'mitochlorians', and they exist in your blood. And they help you to understand the nature of the Love. Some people are born with a high concentration of 'mitochlorians', and gives them a greater degree of control of the Love. It's even possible for some to have been conceived by the Love, and they may be the chosen one to bring balance to the Love.



See how meaningless it is to scientifically explain a base human emotion? Sure, it helps to understand the causes, but it doesn't alleviate the symptoms nor make you immune. Look, I'm as cynical and embittered as anyone, but you just look like an inexperienced kid when you say shit like 'love is a chemical imbalance!'.

Looked up mitochlorians, and all that came up was "jedi blood." Are you sure you spelled it correctly? Because I can tell you right now you shouldn't use a fictional story about magic and laser swords for biology lessons.

lol nicely delivered. 0.o At least I hope that was intentional!

 

[SpaceArcader]

Being in love is when you sacrifice a bit just to see them.

I walked 2 miles in THICK SNOW with temperatures reaching just 2 degrees, just to go to see a girl.

 

[game-lover]

I do, yes.

Now I've never been in love and I've never had a boyfriend. So maybe this is a mixture of naivete and hope or whatever.

But I'd really like to know what it's like to really kiss someone and make love with someone and feel all those huge and intense feelings that go with it.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Being in love is when you sacrifice a bit just to see them.

I walked 2 miles in THICK SNOW with temperatures reaching just 2 degrees, just to go to see a girl.

Two things... I knew I forgot something when I posted, but definitely agree on the sacrifice bit. Though perhaps not necessarily 'just to see them'. Sacrifice something for their happiness safe in the knowledge that they've done the same in return... maybe closer to it. *shrug*

And... damn, that's commitment. For one reason or another, I just see it being done wearing only a kagool and flip-flops...

But I'd really like to know what it's like to really kiss someone and make love with someone and feel all those huge and intense feelings that go with it.

Even though I've felt what you wish to... none of it can compare to that one embrace in despair that I gave at the lowest point in her life, so much so that even three years on, the memory makes me cry without fail. You'll find that with the right 'one', something so seemingly small as a hug can make you feel all of what you want to.

 

[silent_noir_67]

I personally think that it is real. I think that people are usually afraid to admit it because then it brings up commitment and that seems to frighten people...

honestly my friend used to make fun of me for talking about it but now he's with his girlfriend and can't stop saying it so I find it amusing and give him a difficult time for it...

Personally I think that for some people they need to experience it before they truly believe in it.