Don't drop the soap

[Something Amyss]

An 8'5" prisoner?

I'd just pray he couldn't get low enough to do anything.

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

Admitting to having AIDS might do it.

 

[sabbat]

Erm... this thread is not particularly cheerful, is it?

So, I'll cheer it up.

In case of that, I'll... attempt suicide.

Wait, no, that's not cheerful.

You get a cookie for effort, though.

 

[WanderingFool]

Open up with a intellegent remark, pointing out the other guy that just stepped into the shower. Than began a slow and fruitfull, and hopefully non-sexual, friendship with the guy.

 

[crunchieman]

I would become the rape king. Because well I don't want to get raped thats sick. What....

 

[SovietSecrets]

Sigh and say "Well it looks like I can't ignore your girth."

 

[TiredGiant]

If I were ever incarcerated, I would never wipe my ass again. In the shower I'd squeeze my butt-cheeks together so that the water doesn't wash away the shit. I'd rather be known as the guy who smells like shit than the guy who gets raped. So unless the guy has a 2girls1cup fetish, I think I would be pretty safe.

 

[TriggerUnhappy]

Fight like hell. If that doesn't work, offer fellatio, then bite down. If that doesn't stop him, nothing will.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Spoiler: Good heavens, just look at the time!

Given the situation, the only way to win is to rape him before he can rape me. Assuming, of course, that he isn't willing. Otherwise, it wouldn't be rape. It'd just be creepy. Wait.

 

[Fraught]

(will call him Bubba for male prison...

Heh, someone's been reading too much Encyclopedia Dramatica, eh?

Also, what does the content of your post have to do with soap, mentioned in the title?

 

[Gudrests]

I wish I could tell you that I would fight the good fight and everyone would let me be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy-tale world.

this made me smile...thank you..

AND KEEP KICKING IN THE NUTS...JUST KEEP KICKING AND KICKING AND KICKING.....i think after a while...it would be useless show how badass you are the first day and convert your religion the 2nd..NO ONE will mess with you

 

[DSEZ]

kick to the nuts i dont care how much martial arts i or anyone knows that always works

 

[EvilMaggot]

im wondering... im a dude... but how can a woman rape another woman? please do explain...

 

[Therumancer]

So apparently there's some unwritten rule that if you're in prison you're either raping somebody or being raped by somebody (At least through the eyes of most comedians, Tv shows, and movies). So picture your first day in jail, and you step into the dreaded shower room. Eventually your faced by somone who is at least two feet taller than you. If you know martial arts you hear that he/she has twice your rank in whatever discipline you study, as a matter of fact, you just saw him/her display their skill on another inmates skull that same morning.
This person (will call him Bubba for male prison, Barda for the ladies) makes his intentions very clear, and there's no help in sight.

What would you do?

Well, chances are I'd be in the infirmary or dead shortly thereafter.

Of course then again I'd also hope I had at least gotten an acknowlegement from one of the prison gangs like the Aryan brotherhood or whatever (being white). Hoping of course that this guy wasn't coming to "initiate me", and "collect dues", lol!

See, few people are going to be the king bad arses of the pen, which is why prison gangs form, mostly along ethnic grounds. While it would mean hanging out with a lot of unpleasant fellows, getting in with the right ethnic gang pretty much means you have people to watch your back, in exchange for you watching theirs.

So basically unless there is some kind of gang fight going down, "Bubba" isn't likely to get too cheeky when I drop the soap by accident because while he might be able to take me, as a result he might wind up getting shanked in the laundary room tomorrow.

Such things are always a craps shoot of course, but I figure that anyone who is doing time and doesn't want to experience constant violation (and by this I don't just mean sexually) is going to want to try and get in with whatever group of racists favors their group even if they aren't otherwise racist.

That said, I know enough about prison to know I probably wouldn't do especially well there.

 

[DazBurger]

I would not be in America?

Its an American Phenomenon.


Here in Denmark, it even goes so far in the opposite that inmates punishes sexual offenders.

Rapists and child molesters sometimes finds their faces covered in boiling water and sometimes even a mix of of boiling water and sugar, which is rather nasty... As it sticks to the skin.


Its one of the public services that Hells Angels do for Denmark.

 

[fulano]

Change my name to Sandy.

 

[Dags90]

im wondering... im a dude... but how can a woman rape another woman? please do explain...

Objects, fingers, all sorts of other horrible things. If you really want more details I suggest you visit the darker areas of the internet and a shrink.

 

[The_Echo]

If I were in prison and dropped the soap, I wouldn't lean over. That's the dumb thing to do.

Kneeling all the way.

 

[Big-T]

Shank that *****.

 

[Anarchemitis]

The annoying this is that all four of those answers are within 2 kilometers difference of each other, except Fjarðabyggð. It's the farthest.
Reykjavic is the closest obviously.