Duke Nukem Forever (full game). Duration: 8 hours.

[Urh]

I'm with you on the last bit, but I honestly don't care about the other two. Have you tried to play Quake 4 recently? Sure it's not difficult, but it's annoying as hell to get through a firefight with only 10 health left and no armor and then have to reload from your last save because you went into another room and instantly got killed because you literally had no way of getting any health back (either by backtracking or trying to find a health terminal further ahead).

Yeah, regenerating health is unrealistic, but if anyone could heal bullet wounds by channeling the masculinity of their neck muscles, I'd expect it to be Duke Nukem.

And carrying only two weapons? Okay, admittedly, such a muscle-bound freak should probably be able to carry a small armory but again, it's not something that would break a game for me.

I haven't played Quake 4 in a while, but I did play a bit of DN3D just a couple of hours ago. What you call "annoying" I call "challenging" and I can tell you now that there's at least one level in DN3D that would simply be impossible to recreate in a game with regenerating health (episode 1, level 3 - Death Row). I absolutely relished the situation the game threw me in - you start the level in an electric chair taking damage (with zero prior warning) and you have nothing but Duke's Might Foot(tm) to extricate you from your situation. I can guarantee you that there won't be anything in DNF as remotely heart-pounding as that.

EDIT: What's even more infuriating is that it appears that several key design choices were made without being clearly thought-through or even properly implemented. The two-weapon system is probably the best example. In gameplay footage it is painfully obvious that the game frequently puts you in situations where you need a greater quality (variety) of firepower than you can carry at any given time. This is not good design, people!

 

[Alphakirby]

Regardless, I still want to pick it up. I have a feeling I will enjoy it. I have no other expectations than going into a game that features Duke Nukem as the main character.

This his how I feel. Look on the bright side though people, at least it finally came out.

[sub]Now we just need to wait for Max Payne 3...[/sub]

So Yahtzee was right. Damn.

I think it would have been better if it didn't come out. If it comes out but sucks then there is very little chance for it to be done again the right way.



As far as I am concerned, The Duke was, and still is dead. Only now, I can't see him resting peacefully.

Yahtzee should review it

He already has.

Yeah,but that version was from an alternate universe where magic and dreams come true,as well as games 12 years in the making being good...I wanna live there but I can't afford the ticket.

OT:2 Weapon Limit,Cover based combat,No Boot,and crappy driving stages...oh no,and here I was thinking Duke Nukem would try to mix up the formula.

 

[Chrono180]

I feel sorry for people I know who were looking so forward to it. Take that Bobby Drake, I'll stick to my Serious Sam HD and upcoming Serious Sam 3 thanks, but you have fun with your Call of Duty-ified alien shooter.

Wait, you seriously know somebody with the same name as Iceman of the X-Men? I mean, it just sounds like such an obviously fake name. Why would someone call their child that? Or are they huge X-Men fans?

It just comes down to not knowing about the X-Men. Hell I always just call him Iceman and they never bat an eyelid. They're "older" parents and know nothing of comics whatsoever beyond 'Superman uses phone boxes to change' so it's an innocent mistake. Albeit an awesome once.

Sometimes I wish I had a shared name with a superhero but to my knowledge no superhero's real name is "Angel".

You'd be wrong on that last count. Bit iffy on the hero part as she changed sides a few times, but here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angel_Salvadore. Sure, not the best example (eats food like a fly and had a relationship with Beak... eww), but that's the only one I know of. My knowledge of comics does have gaps, however.

Ew, it had to be a woman. And one who shagged an abomination of nature... wonderful. Fuck my parents, seriously. They couldn't even give me a cool name

Look, at least you share code name with Warren Worthington III. Don't see why it matters if it's 'real' (we are talking about fictional characters, after all) name or not. Besides, it works better with Iceman since they were both members of the original X-men. [comics fanboy mode] And don't complain about Warren being lame if you haven't read the current X-Force series. [/comics fanboy mode]

Oh yeah, I forgot about Warren... to be honest, I don't have much exposure to the comics. My main knowledge of the X-Men comes from the film series really, which either is acceptable or a crime against human knowledge, depending on how much of a comic fanboy you are.

Still, at least I can now sound like a raging comic nerd when I start calling me and Bobby "Angel and Iceman". Hoorah for being nerdy!

How about Firestar? Actual name is Angelica "Angel" Jones.

OT: Honestly, I am disappointed but I cant say I'm surprised. Most projects that take this long are built up to such high expectations that the only way they could get good reviews would be if they (as yahtzee put it) "put every other work of art to shame and cure at least one form of cancer." Besides, trying to make a game about a misogynistic asstard like Duke just doesn't work in this day in age as most gamers want actual character development. Or at least someone who has a personality deeper than a teaspoon.

 

[Nightvalien]

when the devs said it was dumbed down to consoles i saw this coming.

 

[Foxbat Flyer]

I have semi followed the games (seeing alothugh the last game came out when i was 8...) played my first Duke game was a side scroller when i was about 6, This game is kind of Nostalgic for me

 

[SlasherX]

Did anyone really expect ANYTHING else. Seriously. It's Duke Nukem a game so surrounded by failure and delays that it became one of the biggest and long running jokes of the video game industry. Their is no way in flying hell that it would be even decent.

 

[Nfritzappa]

Did anyone really expect ANYTHING else. Seriously. It's Duke Nukem a game so surrounded by failure and delays that it became one of the biggest and long running jokes of the video game industry. Their is no way in flying hell that it would be even decent.

I liked Time To Kill for the Playstation...

 

[Chibz]

Thanks for the warning. Preorder as good as canceled.

 

[AyreonMaiden]

I can't say I care at all.

To me it's as if the late Richard Dunn from Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! were running a marathon. No one expects a funny looking old fuck to WIN or DO WELL or even FINISH IN A TIMELY FASHION, but he'll make it to the finish line in the end and that in itself is kinda endearing enough to want to see.

I wouldn't care if they'd gone for a tactical squad-shooter or a turn-based card battler for DNF. I'd still get it on the grounds that I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GAME IS DONE AT ALL, I MUST GET THIS GAME.

 

[Tinneh]

You can't ruin my fun, Aussie.

I'm going to buy this and enjoy it, you cannot steal my fun.

The only way you're getting my fun is if you rip it from my dead, cold, pale, Irish hands.

There there, your powers of denial will wane eventually and the reality will kick in.

And oh good, you don't like Duke Nukem Forever, remember kids, according to the CEO of Gearbox, Randy Pitchford you are not a real gamer [http://www.gamefront.com/gearboxs-randy-pitchford-reviewers-who-dont-like-duke-nukem-forever-will-be-held-accountable/], I myself have come to enjoy being a fake gamer with standards.

I like how only a few people in the comments box and myself realized that Pitchford was marketing this as Duke would - as the greatest game of all time, and if you don't like it, go fuck yourself - like that.

Exactly. And to be honest, if you're expecting a game to be held up completely by graphics and gameplay in this day and age, go back to the corner and play with your toy train-set. So DNF apparently takes gameplay elements from most other FPS', so what? How is it that people still think there is innovation to be had in the gameplay of an FPS? Everything has been done before. The appeal of this game is supposed to be in the attitude, not the fact that the Duke can only carry two weapons and doesn't zoom around at the speed of a Maserati MC12.

EDIT: And if it had kept the classical gameplay elements that Duke Nukem had (back in 1996), it would still have been lambasted by critics. To quote a certain charismatic stallion (From his Mortal Kombat review), it would have been struggling for relevance in this day and age. And most reviewers would probably see it as a Serious Sam rip-off with more tits.

Exactly.

Part (or most of) what made the Duke games so great was Duke as a character. The games weren't fantastic, fun, yes, but Duke is why so many people adored the franchise. And it's why I'll likely buy this someday, just for Duke.

 

[tsb247]

That's a shame. Oh well, I guess I will have to wait until it's at bargain price before I pick up my copy. I'm kind of upset really. There was so much potential. If only Gearbox had abandoned modern shooter game mechanice and stuck with the older stuff that Duke was famous for.

 

[PlasmaFrog]

I really, really, really did see this come from across the universe. Today, standards and design for first person shooters are not quite like they were several generations ago, and shame on you if you thought so.

Series such as Halo or Call of Duty have already defined what the standard FPS should consist of in a modern sense. So our precious Nukem was obviously no exception. I'm just disappointed with the fact that several years of development have turned one of my favorite classic shooters into a Halo game. Two weapons, vehicles, turret segments, what is this shit? The only thing that has been left intact from the original game is the satiric humor. Sure, we have nude women and crude humor, but we're left with a shallow FPS that absolutely has no ground to call itself a Duke Nukem game. At best, this is just fan service.

 

[Jeffrey Rodriguez]

Sounds like a fun game. I think I'll pick it up.

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Well, I never played any Duke games before, so I can honestly say that I don't care.

By the way, you guys know what game has a health bar AND lets you carry as many guns as you damn well please? Resistance 3! Yeah. People don't seem to know this.

 

[zeldagirl]

I would try to feign surprise, but, eh, why bother?

 

[FalloutJack]

No way. My time is NEVER better-spent doing chores. The OP is delusional...

(Just kidding, man. Sorry you didn't like the Duke. I'll try to enjoy it on your behalf.)

 

[Worgen]

Im gonna blame consoles for this since they didnt have as many buttons to work with as they wanted, consoles and poor choices of control options

Then why didn't Gearbox just use an inventory wheel, in which you pick two weapons to assigns to buttons?

I'm sorry, but your being blind. Its Gearbox fault. Borderlands was a shitty singleplayer FPS experience, and so is DNF. Borderlands might be fun multi, but if you play single you'll realise just how crap Gearbox is at designing games.

they arnt that good at doing a multi game either, the pc version of borderlands took months before you could play it multi without going tho a 3rd party program since they fucked up on its port forwarding, hell the pc version used gamespy, you only use gamespy if you dont expect people to play it multi

 

[Digitaldreamer7]

thank you for a spot on and well written review

I agree, I played the demo and it's shite.

Duke Nukem isn't his former lovable bad ass self. He's a huge sodding wanker who smells like a vagina.

The game play was shite, the controls were shite, and most importantly... the jokes were shite.

 

[dmase]

Well at least gearbox made us all chuckle with there entertaining videos and background info. I'm curious to see who's feet this disaster gets laid at. The devs will be pointing there fingers at each other while using the other hand to point at the publisher. So the next few weeks after its release there will be a persistent blame game.

 

[Vibhor]

Seriously, people are expecting way too much out of this game. Of course it won't live up to the 14 year hype. Anyone hyping it really needs to calm down and realize there is no possible way that it's going to match up to anything these days. It needs to live up to Duke standards and from what I've seen of the game, it does.

No it doesn't. In duke nukem forever, Duke is a sissy boy that cannot take more than five bullets to the chest and needs to run from cover to cover. That alone makes the game suck. It just doesn't feel awesome to run from cover to cover, hiding from pigs.