Duke Nukem Forever Review

Russ Pitts

The Boss of You
May 1, 2006
3,240
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Duke Nukem Forever Review

Duke is the bastard son of a thousand game developers - and it shows.

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SovietSecrets

iDrink, iSmoke, iPill
Nov 16, 2008
3,975
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Somehow I knew this was going to get a terrible review. After a game has been in development hell this long, I barely see a chance of it being good.

Still not going to deter me from picking it up tomorrow, though I am sad that this isn't the Duke that I grew up with.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
17,032
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I'll fish it out of the bargain bin when it goes below $20.

This doesn't like it'll take very long to drop in price, really.
 

vxicepickxv

Slayer of Bothan Spies
Sep 28, 2008
3,126
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So, is it going to be 10 dollars on Steam by Friday bad, or is it going to take until July?

I could see Gearbox earning hate by dumping a ton of these on Desert Bus.
 

CM156_v1legacy

Revelation 9:6
Mar 23, 2011
3,997
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0
If I had the slightest interest in the game, it just died.

If I wanted to see naked women, I could just look on the internet. I don't need a game to do that for me. And throwing poop? Really Duke?

Good review though.

EDIT: Fail to the King, baby!
 

MiracleOfSound

Fight like a Krogan
Jan 3, 2009
17,776
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Well, there's always Bulletstorm.

If you're disappointed with DNF, get it instead. Captures the 90s run and gun fun much better.
 

Russ Pitts

The Boss of You
May 1, 2006
3,240
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Aren't we a gwown-up, aren't we?
So he drank beer, went to strip-clubs and was slapping wall-tits when he was 12 is what I got out of this and now he's so manly and has outgrown all those things :p

This would actually make me want to buy the game even more if I didn't know that it was a console-port with 2 weapons at any given time lacking "fun gameplay".
 

xyrafhoan

New member
Jan 11, 2010
472
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They could have had something good, if they hadn't taken ideas from every other shooter out there to make their game more brown and gritty while simultaneously having no sense of quality humour. If you're going to make a ridiculous game, make the gameplay equally ridiculous. No one wants Duke Cover-Shooterem.
 

Crimson_Dragoon

Biologist Supreme
Jul 29, 2009
795
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Well this is just disappointing. I was holding out some hope for this, having been a big Duke fan back in the day.
 

Woodsey

New member
Aug 9, 2009
14,553
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"Recommendation: If you are stuck on a deserted island with only this game to play, go fishing instead. Worth playing so that you may be able to say that you did, but otherwise imminently forgettable and not worth your time."

I'm not one to beef about scores too much, but what would a game have to do get a 1-star rating, I mean Jesus Christ xD
 

Petwins

New member
Jun 8, 2011
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I think this will go on my long list of games I objectively acknowledge as terrible, but enjoy playing none the less
 

bombadilillo

New member
Jan 25, 2011
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EcksTeaSea said:
Somehow I knew this was going to get a terrible review. After a game has been in development hell this long, I barely see a chance of it being good.

Still not going to deter me from picking it up tomorrow, though I am sad that this isn't the Duke that I grew up with.
I will never understand why so many people are buying this knowing full well its a modernized turd. Sends the wrong message to the developers to put out crap like this.

Im sure they thought...Well lets just put out whatever we have because people will buy this crap just because its been so long.

And you are proving them right. Go buy 3-6 indie games instead that are worthy.
 

Ioan Constantin

New member
Oct 31, 2010
4
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It is like having someone on life support for 12 years, and one day, he just gets up and walks, and makes a good game, too. You know, just for the shizz and giggles...
 

Russ Pitts

The Boss of You
May 1, 2006
3,240
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I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.
 

bombadilillo

New member
Jan 25, 2011
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Abandon4093 said:
I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.

The rest of it looks pretty much how I imagined though.
Theres an idea. You could still have had "healthpacks" as well, like autograph books or dvds of Duke around to collect. Salvagable system. Grunting and flying backwards when hit by a shrunken enemy like its a freightrain is just broken.
 

Taynas

New member
May 20, 2010
81
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Abandon4093 said:
I still think they missed a trick with the ego health system.

He could have had to do something cool to get his ego back. Like shooting a dude in the dick or something.

The more zaney stuff you do, the bigger your ego bar gets. And when it's low. You have to do something like benchpress an enemy carcase to boost it back up.
This was exactly what I was thinking! It could have encouraged you to fight on more awesome as you got wounded instead of hide. Shame they didn't do something like that because it sounds like it would be fun and in character.
 

Saleck

New member
Jun 26, 2008
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Hate to burst the bubble but 1997 + 14 = 2011. 14 Years not 12 but I didn't expect Duke to be able to count that high anyway. :p
 

D Moness

Left the building
Sep 16, 2010
1,146
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I bought it on day 1 (well technically a day before the release date) but I did not expect anything mind blowing or great even. I expected some silly and fun to play (at least fun for me). Like some other people before me said the game isn't utterly bad, neither is it a good game. I love blowing up stuff with heavy weapons.

The nice parts, indeed the monster truck level are great and feels very fun to play(the truck reacts nicely(at least it doesn't react/turn like a ton of bricks like in Alone in the dark)). The part before you reach the truck was very fun as well blasting aliens with the choppergun. Lot of interactivity in the game world

Less good bits, close to pixel perfect jumping (failing will result in death). That got really annoying in the Duke Burger Kitchen bit. I hated jumping on small objects when they did it with the very first Turok game ages ago. It still is annoying to jump onto something small in 1st person view.

It is indeed a shame that you can only have 2 weapons at one time(and do not blame consoles for that if perfect dark and goldeneye on the n64 can handle multiple weapons a game on this current generation should really be able to do it(plus it was possible with duke nukem 3d xla version)). Only being able to carry 1 item means you have to really plan using them, dunno if that is a good or bad choice. The fact that when you execute a monster will refill your ego meter does make sense(makes more sense then hiding and getting it refilled that way.