Duke Nukem Forever

[KreacherOfbloodandRank]

It dosent matter how horrible or awesome this game is, its going to sell like jesus' memoirs.

So when are you Reviewing Starcraft 2?

 

[romxxii]

Spoiler: - snip -

Although this text review is certainly a great return to form following the unfunny Kane and Lynch video, one thing he doesn't point out is that the Gearbox dev team tasked with finishing DNF are the same people from 3DRealms who monkeyed around with it for 12 long years. Will this mean more vaporware fumes, or will the change in management mean a completed game that is at least a third of the greatness of the preceding game? Only time will tell.

Randy will Mainstream their asses if they fall behind.

I agree, pseudo-realistic military shooters are a horse that's been beaten to death in the past five or six years. What made them good was that there were other options in FPS games if you didn't want to play the old call of duty games. Even games that had fantastic settings seemed slower paced just by virtue of "realistic" mechanics. I think we need more variance in the genre (and less FPS games in general, but that's another rant).

I like that, telling them to meet the effin' development milestones or face getting reassigned to another cover-based shooter set in either 1940's Normandy or Unspecifiedistan. Or post-apocalyptic Australia populated by Jason Vorhees clones.

 

[blushmoe]

I know no one really liked it, but singularity has to be the best FPS single player since the orange box for me. (Its just fun) The story sucks ballz and its too short but i liked how there was a variety of weapons, gadgets and enemys (Most games just have solders, look at crysis)It felt like i was playing the first half life again at times, i think it was what we should be doing for FPS rather then all these crappy realistic ones...

But any game with missiles that stick to enemys, been able to blow someones lims off, slowing time, ridiculous weapons, it felt like the 90's and i really, REALLY liked that.

 

[maximara]

Apparently one of the reasons it was delayed is that Broussard wanted to keep adding more and more things, which makes me think the game will have so much stuff you won't have a chance in hell of enjoying it. Every few minutes you'll be whisked off to another landscape with new weapons. I don't think Gearbox has had nearly enough time to correct for the mistakes 3D Realms made.

IMHO the problem was a 'must put in THIS game' mentality rather than a 'ok now that looks like it would be good to put in the *next* game' combined with no clear direction as to where the game was going to go. The problem is that there will be hype and there is no way that whatever we get can live up to the hype engine that will be running simply due to game thought to gone down for the count may be released.

 

[rddj623]

I think we'd all like the game to make us eat our words and thoughts. However I don't hold out much hope for that. We'll see. A good way to look at it, if it's awesome then I'll apologize and have myself a grand 'ol time! If it's not good, I'll refer them to your fake review as an example of how it could have been awesome.

 

[blankedboy]

I'm looking forward to DNF. I'm sure it won't be nearly as good as it should have been, but, y'know. It's always good to have another mindless intense-fest game. Sauerbraten proved that.

 

[PyroZombie]

I cannot see the hype in this. How does 13 years translate into good game, let alone great game? If this game doesn't translate into best game ever made the first week in, then let Duke die in pain.

 

[AceMcBadass]

is it bad the every time i saw "DNF" i read it as "Did Not Finish" instead of "Duke Nukem Forever"?

 

[DRSH1989]

I don't know about you guys, but I hope future games will be in the Mass Effect 2 style. Not just regarding gameplay, but story, depth, choice, style. Fallout 3 had something nice going for it as well. I like the whole RPG elements being implemented in FPS, TPS and who knows what else. I enjoyed Serious Sam type games in the past, but I'm over that. I don't want games to go back to their roots. I want games to remember their roots and combine them with new technology to create something new. More of the same isn't better, it's just more. We don't want more of the same, we wan't bigger and better.

 

[Alphakirby]

Now we can stop the "Will it/wont it" argument and I'll give this game chance. It's gonna be a break from all the Brown and Grey "Look at us we're being realistic" shooting games currently on the market.

Especially seeing as you get to do Part-Time Monster trucking

 

[Caradinist]

Half-Life killed 'fun FPS' because after THAT intro, everything had to have a serious story. The genre needs to de-evolve into being mindless again. DNF won't be the game to end all games but maybe it will tell designers what a FPS is suppose to be all about.

More hordes of enemies, more OTT weaponry and less caring.

I'd have to disagree with you there. While Half-Life somehow tried to set that standard that everything needed to have a better story for future FPSes...That's not the only thing that it offered, unlike games like Kane And Lynch.

 

[Super Toast]

If Yahtzee reviews this, it'll be entertaining, to say the least.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

I would say Gearbox has a secret girl-crush on Valve and isn't sure whether she wants to do her or be her?. But I would expect this from a lot of development teams, since Valve does good work. I think that Borderlands is an excellent first truly original opus, but then again, I found the same kind of joy in Opposing Force in the living rocket-launcher one feeds and pets when it growfs at you that Mr. Croshaw found in the gun that shoots shuriken and lightning [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/57-Painkiller].

...which easily tangents into a rant (diatribe) about really cool bits in games and how a mediocre game can be rendered quite playable and enjoyable if it has but a few of these.

But were I on the Gearbox designer team, I'd certainly look into paying Yahtzee's current review a proper nod, perhaps by including some of the elements he mentioned. My faves:

~ A false idenity named Vladimir Lestrade
~ The task of making ravioli for aliens, whilst on the moonbase level.
~ Dolphin Races.;
~ A gun that shoots dogs

I particularly look forward to implementation of the last one.

? And yes, I'm intentionally invoking hot girl-on-girl dev-team action, here.

 

[MrNelg]

"(and, personally, I'm disappointed Wolfenstein didn't make it out the starting gates)."

Looking back at it, the Wolfenstein review was very informative and very clever, but it wasn't very funny.

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

Regarding Mr. Croshaw's review of Wolfenstein, I certainly believe it deserves special mention as he put a lot of work into it, but this is one of the laments of any artist (and I certainly would credit Yahtzee's reviews as artistic, ergo, art), that effort and quality of product seldom equate to audience popularity.

But I also would agree with Mr. Croshaw that Duke Nukem was a Blaskowitz [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ValuesDissonance] evolved (somewhat), I expect that Gearbox will expand on Nukem's character, heck maybe even attempting in-game development from walking muscle-bound penis (an acceptable male identity in '80s and '90 US) to something more appropiate to the post-Bush era.

Here in the US, the 9/11 attacks and the rapid, cancerlike mutation of values in the US (for good and ill) that followed has changed our perception of media, from the Freedom Fighters [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ticking_time_bomb_scenario] (now that we not only have networks devoted to propaganda, but also shows that juxtapose facts to spin in news coverage - we know what it looks like).

So, as a culture, the US has become more skeptical in the contemporary eras. We can't take for granted that a quite the opposite [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCape].

 

[Ocelano]

Wipe the slate clean? Yahtzee, are you taking away all expectation of this game besides it should be a return to fun or else? Well... I only wish that other people will follow suit.

Oh and thank you for clairfying that you WILL review Duke Nukem Forever compared to the idiots who THINK they know you and say "no he wont review it becuz he fookin hates evryfing evar and thinks no different of..."

You get the point. They don't know you, only you (And your friends and family) know you.

Calumon: But I don't like dice!

Actually he announced his review method quite clearly when he was on the overindulgence podcast and had just announced his intention of reviewing ffxiii, he stated then that he goes into every game expecting it to be shite, and as such he treats every game equally.
btw it wont screw up my record keeping I just type the release number at the start of the title 158 and counting not including early youtube and extra punctuation

 

[GothmogII]

Regarding Mr. Croshaw's review of Wolfenstein, I certainly believe it deserves special mention as he put a lot of work into it, but this is one of the laments of any artist (and I certainly would credit Yahtzee's reviews as artistic, ergo, art), that effort and quality of product seldom equate to audience popularity.

But I also would agree with Mr. Croshaw that Duke Nukem was a Blaskowitz [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ValuesDissonance] evolved (somewhat), I expect that Gearbox will expand on Nukem's character, heck maybe even attempting in-game development from walking muscle-bound penis (an acceptable male identity in '80s and '90 US) to something more appropiate to the post-Bush era.

Here in the US, the 9/11 attacks and the rapid, cancerlike mutation of values in the US (for good and ill) that followed has changed our perception of media, from the Freedom Fighters [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ticking_time_bomb_scenario] (now that we not only have networks devoted to propaganda, but also shows that juxtapose facts to spin in news coverage - we know what it looks like).

So, as a culture, the US has become more skeptical in the contemporary eras. We can't take for granted that a quite the opposite [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheCape].

I have to take issue with the notion that 'Blaskowitz evolved', not that he didn't. After, going from a mute portrait at the bottom of the screen, to a mute unseen FPS camera, to a talking FPS camera with some cutscene privileges.

Evolution yes, but when that results in this:

Spoiler

Can you really hold him up as a -good- example? There's about as much depth in the new BJ as an ankle deep pond of muckwater. And I hope at least, that Duke won't even try to pretend he is otherwise. I'd rather an honest anachronism than a phony who tries to pretend there's more to him than there really is.

 

[beema]

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