Escape to the Movies: G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra

[Disthron]

I have to say, I'm not sure how you can like this and then not like Transformers. I mean it seems to me that every chritasisum you layed on Transformers could be layed on this one just as much. I thought GI Joe and Transformers RotF were both pretty average. I don't know, maybe I should go and check this out agen and try to be a bit more open. My friend really liked the movie, but then agen.....He also really loved BOTH of the Transformers movies.

 

[SAVEpointGL1TCH]

I am a die hard Transformers and GI Joe fan, but even I have to admit that when I go back and watch the cartoons I am confronted by the fact that they are very cheezy. That being said I still love the cartoons and watch them awesome. I think the film did a great job of capturing the essence of the cartoon perfectly. Unfortunately I expect most fans of the original wanted it to be an ultra realistic adult version of the cartoon which Rise of Cobra is not. After exiting the theater there were a bunch of kids going nuts about how cool Snake Eyes is, and anytime I see youth praising something other than Yugi-oh, bakugan, or power rangers I see it has a pop culture vindication and nerd culture victory.

I dreaded going to see the movie but I figured as long as Snake Eyes has a couple of cool sequences, I can deal with the rest. He did and then the rest of the movie pleasantly surprised me.

All my praise aside, Channing Tatum can't act.

PS While I thought Devastators robot genitals were a little much, I blame the movie Step Brothers...and Will Ferrel in general.

 

[sin keon]

I watched the movie in a theater with litle too no knowledge of G.I. Joe and thinking that it might be a bit shitty.
But I was suprised that I enjoyed it (Spoiler:ending with the fake president was quite good).
Altough I had to wait half an hour before the echos of the many many many explosions had left me.

 

[teh.arkhon]

Zzzz probably the worst movie ive ever seen

 

[AtomicGette]

Starting from the point that the original source was nothing but cheesey lines, explosions, and weak plots (G-1 transformers, Megatron wanted screw with the moon to change the course of one river in the amazon, Cobra hosted a telethon to raise five billion dollars with Destro did stand up comedy) I had to be literally dragged to this movie, and it was FUN. turns out there is a plot, small and not really important but still more solid then the original series. Plus a healthy list of cameos made it a truely enjoyable time.

 

[Kingsman]

There is one thing I can't forgive GI Joe for, and it can be summed up in two words.

ICE. FLOATS.

 

[Badger01]

bad film, and please, better than the last 12 james bond films??
i think not

 

[Badger01]

I have to say, I'm not sure how you can like this and then not like Transformers. I mean it seems to me that every chritasisum you layed on Transformers could be layed on this one just as much. I thought GI Joe and Transformers RotF were both pretty average. I don't know, maybe I should go and check this out agen and try to be a bit more open. My friend really liked the movie, but then agen.....He also really loved BOTH of the Transformers movies.

also that's actualy a very good point, how can he be so against transformers and yet love GI Joe, the are both esentialy the same, full of action, bad acting/plot, except one has giant robots, and the other has ninjas in armoured power suits
so tell me, what is it that really makes GI Joe so much more different than transformers, and a much better film???

btw, i didn't like ether film, but at a push i will probably take transformers, even if it is made by twat bag michael bay

 

[SandroTheMaster]

...

@SandroTheMaster

Really? You just had to just shove your political BS into this, which only relates to the aforementioned topic of discussion by a few strands? How does the healthcare system relate to G.I. Joe?

Also...

Bush saw everything and everyone as enemies of the "American way", while Barack is not blind to what is completely fucked up about their own american policies (the world always considered the American "healthcare" system to be some sort of sick joke a Nazi would come up with... and the legal system too, but in this case it is the sick joke... well, an american would come with).

I invoke Godwin's Law [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law]. For the Lulz.

Urk... I know YOU will get this reply, late as it is to the run. I rarely log in. But I'm really pushing myself and I must say: Why is it ok to ask "Why wasn't it Americans killing fucktons of Muslin, immigrant, french and stuff! Why does it have to be a stupid international stuff, why do I have to put up with non-American stuff" and it is political BS to respond: "Uh... because there's a whole world outside the USA? Because the USA has less than 5% of the population of said world? Because the internet is a WORLD WIDE web? Or, you know, because tolerance will, at the very least, make other people less likely to want to kill you?" So go ahead and eat your freedom-fries, if it makes you feel better.

I still stand by my saying that social engineering should have been forgot after the Nazis, btw. And commenting on healthcare was part of the whole message. But I guess it is a crime to say anything on the internet without backing it up with an argument and examples.

 

[Disthron]

You know, I went and looked up Michael Bay's movies and I have to say, of the ones I've seen I don't think I'd put any of them in the really bad category. I mean most of them were not that grate ether. It seems, at least to me anyway, that he's a very average director. I don't know if he's an a-hole or whatever, I don't watch stuff like entertainment tonight.

I thought Transformers 2 was ok, not grate, not horrible. But I thought this movie was poor. I'm sorry Bob but ice floats and emotions CAN be quantified.

 

[Umberphoenix]

My only two big problems with the film were one: How the hell did France being mad that the Joe's caused massive amounts of property damage to Paris and in the end not actually getting the "bad guys" cause the entire organization to be disbanded? And I mean, that didn't even play a role in the rest of the movie. All it did was serve as a kind of "oh, no!" moment that was immediately forgotten once they got to the next part of the film I had a problem with: the part where it became Star Wars underwater. There was so much Star Wars-esque crap in there I was surprised that MovieBob didn't call it out in his review. Not to say that the movie wasn't good in the sense that it's fun to watch: it really is a neat film. But honestly, putting in something totally nonsensical into the movie that is ignored anyways so it didn't even matter(already piled onto the rather terrible story line) and then either ripping off Star Wars or trying to give the "late 20-somethings who remember they were 7 years old once" "nudge-nudge wink-wink" moments made the movie, for me, not as enjoyable as a movie but rather something to laugh and make fun of while watching stuff explode.

And also, Disthron, more than 3/4s of an ice burg is underwater. Just thought you should know that.

 

[maximara]

I saw it, I lol'd at the puns in regards to the original action figures I played with as a kid, I enjoyed it as the brain at the door eplode-a-bad guy movie that it was, well crafted for that niche.

Also FYI "GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra" earned around $100 million These kind of numbers are apparently good enough for Paramount to start thinking of expanding the franchise. The studio's vice chairman, Rob Moore, confirmed that a sequel will soon go into development."

(Ty Worstpreviews.com)

Nice review Bob

The only thing that bothers me about a sequel is that they could totally mess it up as was the case with "GI Joe: the movie" which technically was the FOURTH movie the previous three being done as five parters and later edited into movies: "The Mass Device", "The Weather Dominator" and "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!"

GI Joe IMHO worked best when it made characters you cared about as in Season 1; because that made you overlook the silly plots, so so voice acting, and the rest.

Who can forget the chilling scene in "Worlds Without End" were three Joes sent to a parallel world see their own skeletal remains? or Shipwreck's comment at the end of "There's No Place Like Springfield" where he tells Lady Jaye that the only thing inside the house he is watching burn was a dream?

Season 2 stumbled a bit with the whole Serpentor thing but at least tried to make him interesting and DIC found the "GI Joe: the movie" so goofy that the only plot they carried over was Cobra Commander being turned into a snake but focused on the characters and made a very silly plot enjoyable.

I just hope that if there is a sequel they don't go X-men 3 or Wolverine on us.

 

[NeoShinGundam]

Hey, I had that EXACT same sandbox as a kid! And I even played with my G.I. Joe figures in it!! That is, until sand got in all of their joints and they locked up and my Mom threw them away. But yeah, fun times.

 

[Dr.Horrible13]

No I did not think it was good!
WHHYYYY MOVIEBOB Why you have your own opinion thats fine but EGHHH!

 

[satansmurf]

This was the first movie I have ever returned to a rental place. Ever. We got about 1/2 way through. I think Spartacus (current absolutely bad Starz series) has more acting chops.

I made my family suffer 10k BC and other horrible wastes of time. We love to beat out way to the end.

However, this insipid shit storm took the cake.

Bravo on wrecking my childhood. Did CGI and effects somehow get mistaken for story or even characters I would rather see live than die to a slow death of sandpaper?

I still have my monster GI Joe action figures from way on back.

This movie makes me want to burn it, lobotomize myself and hope nobody ever knows I was into GI Joe.

 

[Lamppenkeyboard]

I thought it was the worst movie made this past year.

I have way to many shreds of disgust for this movie that I can only describe it as follows:

Good: Christopher Eccleston.

Bad:

Spoiler

The scene where the cobra strike force drills their way into the GI Joe underground base and kill several GI Joes before anyone even notices them.

Worst: The American special ops main character still has a douche baggy goatee even though he is in the service, and that

Spoiler

Snake Eyes' origin story reveals that he had been a blond white American boy homeless on the streets of, alright all I can say is "an asian slum" since I haven't seen the movie recently.

Was it worth its sum of potential cancer research money? I my honest opinion, not at all.

 

[mchoueiri]

watching this review again and thinking about it. No I would disagree this movie is not as good as any recent james bond film.

 

[darkman80723]

I think Bob's brain got backward on this one...this movie sucked so hardcore I wanted to cry afterward

 

[Frontastic]

This movie didn't annoy me quite as much as Transformers 2 but it was a close race.

And what is it with people who grew up on the Roger Moore era Bond's hating them when they stop being camp and terrible. It's like people who grew up on the Adam West Batman claiming The Dark Knight was 'too serious'. NO! Bond and Batman should always be more than just campy, one-liner driven, villain of the week stories.

Why does this always happen, I think I've found a movie critic who shares my views on almost everything (or at least if I don't agree with them, they make a good case for themselves, like Bob's review of The Road) but then I find them giving a great review to something that should be torn to hell like the other awful movies they review.