Escape to the Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Kids Deserved Better Than This

[JimB]

So it's only okay to complain about race when a non-white character is turned white, but not the other way around?

Gotcha.

When a cinematic equivalent of Mickey Rooney's role in Breakfast at Tiffany's or the entire run of Amos n Andy puts a person of color in the role of a white person just for the sake of enforcing racial segregation in Hollywood, then you can claim all acts of racial inversion are equivalent. Until then, the context just isn't there.

 

[LaughingAtlas]

"R.I.P.: Being Nice To Micheal Bay, 2014-2014"

No one can say you didn't try, Bob. I had hoped that with the Shredder looking kindof like he did post-ooze mutation at the end of TMNT 2, he might at least be a fun, intimidating villain, but this sounds more like just another mook with fancier pants. And more blades than would be remotely practical to wield.

 

[KisaiTenshi]

Sadly I think everyone saw this coming. Unfortunately the "it's a kids movie so it's okay if it's crap" mentality has been way too prevalent in Hollywood for way too long. The nostalgia based franchises like Transformers and TMNT should be the best of films because they know they can appeal to kids and their parents and make a tonne of money from family viewing. Instead you have rubbish like this where the kid will walk out of the cinema and turn to his or her parents and ask, "You really liked this when you were my age?"

"It's a Kids Movie, it's okay to be crap" mentality is because we treat kids like they are idiots. Given a lot of "dumb" kids are easily entertained by TV shows like "SpongeBob Squarepants", it's no surprise that films that promise a nostalgia trip end up being horrible, because we only saw the older version through those "dumb" glasses.

The problem I find is that since "all kids are dumb" is what studios go into when they produce films and tv shows, we end up with this slippery slope of bad films that are closer to something produced by the Asylum.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turtles_Forever , here's what a nostalgia trip gone wrong looks like. I watched this and went "wait, were the 80's turtles always this dumb?"

So when you think about it, it's fine to reboot a series, but it's not fine to make the characters worse than the last version [that made money.]

 

[The Great JT]

Yeah, who saw this coming except everyone? And yet somehow they're going to make a sequel.

Maybe someday Bebop and Rocksteady will show up to put things right. They are the heroes we deserve, and the heroes we need.

 

[otakon17]

God.FUCKING.dammit.BAY YOU RAT BASTARD! I know he didn't direct but Goddammit everything he touches that he didn't make himself seems to turn to shit. Also, what the FUCK turning Michelangelo into a horndog? Please, give the R34 artists more bait like April's ludicrous bust from the 80's show wasn't enough(you know what I'm talking about dammit, you just didn't realize until puberty hit!). I was thinking of catching this along with Guardians of the Galaxy but I think I'll just catch GotG now and stay far away from this mess of a movie.

 

[lord canti]

I walked out of the movie. I've never walked out of a movie before, but this was the time to do it. It was so bad.

I fully figured Bob would trash this after I walked out after the first half. He did, and rightfully so. But Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, I am so fucking sick of hearing about how much Bob hates the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Sick to death. If he doesn't like it then whatever, but the fact he keeps having to validate it over and over again and then belittle people who notice his insecurity is just pathetic.

We get it, you don't like the movie! MOVE ON, because this schtick is what is causing people to level the bias accusations at you repeatedly. The desire for the movie to fail and calling people stupid who find this manic foaming at the mouth you've been doing for the past three months (nay, the past two years) bizarre is harming your image.

God, I miss Roger Ebert.

You should check out Doug Walkers reviews. Not only is he a better critic in my opinion, he also tears movies apart with out insulting the people who enjoy it.

I watch Doug on occasion, yeah. Problem is he doesn't review recent releases and his taste in movies is a bit skewed from mine.

In the past my two reviewers were Roger Ebert and Bob Chipman because the two of them were fairly close to my personal tastes in movies. I could rely on both of them on whether or not I should see a movie that weekend. If one of them was way off, I could usually rely on the other to inject a sense of sanity into the proceedings. Examples being when Roger completely lost his shit over Kick Ass (gave it one star and called it reprehensible) Bob tended to be a bit more sane in reaction. Meanwhile when Bob lost the plot with Amazing Spider-Man 1, Roger gave it 3.5/4 stars. There's no way in hell Bob could possibly be sane on the movie when Roger Ebert, a self professed Spider-Man fan, was giving the movie 3.5/4 stars.

Unfortunately Roger Ebert passed away, so I'm left with Bob Chipman. Also unfortunately Bob has turned into a juvenile and petty little troll who's chosen to veil his own insecurity and childish behavior behind a mask of intellectual superiority. At least with Ebert if a movie was bad he acted like a disappointed father rather than a petulant teenager and then moved on from it. I truly miss Ebert, who never submitted to cynicism and had a genuine love of his medium. Bob's just turned into a snide prick over the past few years.

He does do reviews with his brother on their show Sibling Rivalry, but like you said their taste in movie might not align with yours. That being said, Bob always has had a sort of prickish side to him, but it hasn't been until recently that it has become unbearable. I understand not liking a movie, but he acts like someone just spit in his mothers face when a movie is bad.

 

[Sanunes]

He does do reviews with his brother on their show Sibling Rivalry, but like you said their taste in movie might not align with yours. That being said, Bob always has had a sort of prickish side to him, but it hasn't been until recently that it has become unbearable. I understand not liking a movie, but he acts like someone just spit in his mothers face when a movie is bad.

I think it changed when people started to call him biased when he would voice concerns, for I started to notice a change to "I don't care what you say" when people started with the biased comments with Amazing Spider-Man 2 when he was saying he was concerned with the direction of the film and the comments started with "biased already" or "you hated the first one, so its natural you hate this already, you're biased".

 

[C.S.Strowbridge]

So it's only okay to complain about race when a non-white character is turned white, but not the other way around?


Gotcha.

One increases diversity and the other decreases diversity. Of course you should treat the two instances differently.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

*Clicks play on video; footage from Amazing Spider-man*

"I'm not bias... and everyone who disagrees is a fanboy."

*Immediately stops video; shakes head vigorously*

.....

*Resigned sigh; clicks on comment section*

*doesn't acctully comment in a meaningful way*

Truly, t'would be far more meaningful for me to affect Mr. Chipman's attitude of fervently continuing his vice grip upon the made-up reality where this obsession he spouts regularly could not possibly be considered bias or unreasonable.

 

[darthdenim]

Doug Walker has problems of his own.

Like how he likes to detract points from a movie if ANYTHING he considers "unoriginal" happens in it.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

Oh wow, even worse that I expected. It's a good thing that, unlike Bob, I wasn't holding out hope that this film might be good or else I might be disappointed. Instead I just roll my eyes and sigh.

 

[faefrost]

Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.

 

[V4Viewtiful]

Dear God... Bob... you actually thought this movie made Next Mutation look good? My god. Didn't think that was possible...

The Next Mutation was good before Venus and the Shredder was cool too.

 

[faefrost]

I walked out of the movie. I've never walked out of a movie before, but this was the time to do it. It was so bad.

I fully figured Bob would trash this after I walked out after the first half. He did, and rightfully so. But Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, I am so fucking sick of hearing about how much Bob hates the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Sick to death. If he doesn't like it then whatever, but the fact he keeps having to validate it over and over again and then belittle people who notice his insecurity is just pathetic.

We get it, you don't like the movie! MOVE ON, because this schtick is what is causing people to level the bias accusations at you repeatedly. The desire for the movie to fail and calling people stupid who find this manic foaming at the mouth you've been doing for the past three months (nay, the past two years) bizarre is harming your image.

God, I miss Roger Ebert.

You should check out Doug Walkers reviews. Not only is he a better critic in my opinion, he also tears movies apart with out insulting the people who enjoy it.

I watch Doug on occasion, yeah. Problem is he doesn't review recent releases and his taste in movies is a bit skewed from mine.

In the past my two reviewers were Roger Ebert and Bob Chipman because the two of them were fairly close to my personal tastes in movies. I could rely on both of them on whether or not I should see a movie that weekend. If one of them was way off, I could usually rely on the other to inject a sense of sanity into the proceedings. Examples being when Roger completely lost his shit over Kick Ass (gave it one star and called it reprehensible) Bob tended to be a bit more sane in reaction. Meanwhile when Bob lost the plot with Amazing Spider-Man 1, Roger gave it 3.5/4 stars. There's no way in hell Bob could possibly be sane on the movie when Roger Ebert, a self professed Spider-Man fan, was giving the movie 3.5/4 stars.

Unfortunately Roger Ebert passed away, so I'm left with Bob Chipman. Also unfortunately Bob has turned into a juvenile and petty little troll who's chosen to veil his own insecurity and childish behavior behind a mask of intellectual superiority. At least with Ebert if a movie was bad he acted like a disappointed father rather than a petulant teenager and then moved on from it. I truly miss Ebert, who never submitted to cynicism and had a genuine love of his medium. Bob's just turned into a snide prick over the past few years.

I like Bob and Doug. I would also suggest Jeremy Jahn's who's opinions seem to match up pretty well with what we aging nerdlings seem to enjoy. I find the aggregate opinion among them is normally pretty close to how I will find a movie.

 

[faefrost]

Yeah, not really surprised this didn't turn out well. Michael Bay's name was essentially a death sentence.

Speaking of which, what's the general consensus here on the current TMNT cartoon?

The current cartoon is pure unadulterated nerd porn. It gets pretty much everything right. Snappily written. Witty yet dark and a bit disturbing at times. A complete and total reboot, with massive changes, that works.

 

[UberGott]

The Cannibal Holocaust gag had me in stitches. Wonder how many people here got the joke?

Shame to hear the movie sucks as hard as it does, though... April's past mixed into the origins of everything? A rehash of MoS/ASM's DNA fetish? An abandoned New York being not-terrorized by generic para-military putties instead of bug-eyed ninjas? Why bother at that point? TMNT's had a number of interpretations, but this one sounds bland and convoluted at the same time.

I may not always agree with Bob, but I'm gonna' trust him on this one. Guess I'll spend the cash that would have gone to a ticket on more of the "deluxe" Eastman/Laird comic reprints.

 

[KazeAizen]

Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.

Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?

 

[Buizel91]

I hope people realise Bay is the producer, and not the Director like he was in Transformers...

TMNT Producers:

Michael Bay
Andrew Form
Bradley Fuller
Galen Walker
Scott Mednick
Ian Bryce

Transformers Producers:

Don Murphy
Tom DeSanto
Lorenzo di Bonaventura
Ian Bryce

Transformers (apart from ROTF) isn't even that bad. People are just blinded by nostalgia. And because of that they see Michael Bay has an Involvement and all of a sudden everything bad with the film is put on him. NO. Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick and Ian Bryce are as much to blame as Bay this time around.

But the real blame should go to Jonathan Liebesman, Who directed TMNT. Just as Bay does with Transformers.


So by all means hate on Bay, just don't forget the others that managed to screw it up. I'll still be seeing this regardless. Many of the reviews Bob does and hates the film, i tend to get some sort of enjoyment from.

 

[Ghadente]

i'm not surprised at all.
easy to tell this movie would be horrible just from the trailers... or even before that when the M. Bay announced he was involved.
Movie Bob is 100% correct, the kids deserve better... hell the world deserves better than this garbage.

sigh... is there some way to give TMNT over to Marvel?

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Well thanks for the warning. I'll pass on it.

...well maybe I'll watch it on Netflix, just to see for myself how horrible it is, but I won't contribute to it's box office gross.