Escape to the Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Kids Deserved Better Than This

faefrost

New member
Jun 2, 2010
1,280
0
0
Master Taffer said:
lord canti said:
Master Taffer said:
I walked out of the movie. I've never walked out of a movie before, but this was the time to do it. It was so bad.

I fully figured Bob would trash this after I walked out after the first half. He did, and rightfully so. But Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, I am so fucking sick of hearing about how much Bob hates the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Sick to death. If he doesn't like it then whatever, but the fact he keeps having to validate it over and over again and then belittle people who notice his insecurity is just pathetic.

We get it, you don't like the movie! MOVE ON, because this schtick is what is causing people to level the bias accusations at you repeatedly. The desire for the movie to fail and calling people stupid who find this manic foaming at the mouth you've been doing for the past three months (nay, the past two years) bizarre is harming your image.

God, I miss Roger Ebert.
You should check out Doug Walkers reviews. Not only is he a better critic in my opinion, he also tears movies apart with out insulting the people who enjoy it.
I watch Doug on occasion, yeah. Problem is he doesn't review recent releases and his taste in movies is a bit skewed from mine.

In the past my two reviewers were Roger Ebert and Bob Chipman because the two of them were fairly close to my personal tastes in movies. I could rely on both of them on whether or not I should see a movie that weekend. If one of them was way off, I could usually rely on the other to inject a sense of sanity into the proceedings. Examples being when Roger completely lost his shit over Kick Ass (gave it one star and called it reprehensible) Bob tended to be a bit more sane in reaction. Meanwhile when Bob lost the plot with Amazing Spider-Man 1, Roger gave it 3.5/4 stars. There's no way in hell Bob could possibly be sane on the movie when Roger Ebert, a self professed Spider-Man fan, was giving the movie 3.5/4 stars.

Unfortunately Roger Ebert passed away, so I'm left with Bob Chipman. Also unfortunately Bob has turned into a juvenile and petty little troll who's chosen to veil his own insecurity and childish behavior behind a mask of intellectual superiority. At least with Ebert if a movie was bad he acted like a disappointed father rather than a petulant teenager and then moved on from it. I truly miss Ebert, who never submitted to cynicism and had a genuine love of his medium. Bob's just turned into a snide prick over the past few years.
I like Bob and Doug. I would also suggest Jeremy Jahn's who's opinions seem to match up pretty well with what we aging nerdlings seem to enjoy. I find the aggregate opinion among them is normally pretty close to how I will find a movie.
 

faefrost

New member
Jun 2, 2010
1,280
0
0
scorptatious said:
Yeah, not really surprised this didn't turn out well. Michael Bay's name was essentially a death sentence.

Speaking of which, what's the general consensus here on the current TMNT cartoon?

The current cartoon is pure unadulterated nerd porn. It gets pretty much everything right. Snappily written. Witty yet dark and a bit disturbing at times. A complete and total reboot, with massive changes, that works.
 

UberGott

New member
Feb 20, 2014
69
0
0
The Cannibal Holocaust gag had me in stitches. Wonder how many people here got the joke?

Shame to hear the movie sucks as hard as it does, though... April's past mixed into the origins of everything? A rehash of MoS/ASM's DNA fetish? An abandoned New York being not-terrorized by generic para-military putties instead of bug-eyed ninjas? Why bother at that point? TMNT's had a number of interpretations, but this one sounds bland and convoluted at the same time.

I may not always agree with Bob, but I'm gonna' trust him on this one. Guess I'll spend the cash that would have gone to a ticket on more of the "deluxe" Eastman/Laird comic reprints.
 

KazeAizen

New member
Jul 17, 2013
1,129
0
0
faefrost said:
Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.
Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?
 

Buizel91

Autobot
Aug 25, 2008
5,265
0
0
I hope people realise Bay is the producer, and not the Director like he was in Transformers...

TMNT Producers:

Michael Bay
Andrew Form
Bradley Fuller
Galen Walker
Scott Mednick
Ian Bryce

Transformers Producers:

Don Murphy
Tom DeSanto
Lorenzo di Bonaventura
Ian Bryce

Transformers (apart from ROTF) isn't even that bad. People are just blinded by nostalgia. And because of that they see Michael Bay has an Involvement and all of a sudden everything bad with the film is put on him. NO. Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, Galen Walker, Scott Mednick and Ian Bryce are as much to blame as Bay this time around.

But the real blame should go to Jonathan Liebesman, Who directed TMNT. Just as Bay does with Transformers.


So by all means hate on Bay, just don't forget the others that managed to screw it up. I'll still be seeing this regardless. Many of the reviews Bob does and hates the film, i tend to get some sort of enjoyment from.
 

Ghadente

White Rabbit
Mar 21, 2009
537
0
0
i'm not surprised at all.
easy to tell this movie would be horrible just from the trailers... or even before that when the M. Bay announced he was involved.
Movie Bob is 100% correct, the kids deserve better... hell the world deserves better than this garbage.

sigh... is there some way to give TMNT over to Marvel?
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
14,334
0
0
Well thanks for the warning. I'll pass on it.

...well maybe I'll watch it on Netflix, just to see for myself how horrible it is, but I won't contribute to it's box office gross.
 

Screamarie

New member
Mar 16, 2008
1,055
0
0
I've heard, though never seen an original source, that Michael Bay once said that he made movies for 13 year old boys, so sue me....or something to the effect....and I wish I could Michael. I really wish I could sue you. Don't get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with making movies for 13 year old boys. Big action scenes, awesome fights, badass heroes, explosions, even toilet humor, GREAT! Awesome, go do that Michael!...but why does that also mean there has to be racist fuckers in your movies? And bland, useless women? And what the FUCK is with making Mikey a horny asshole?

The thing that I adored about TMNT, between the movies and the cartoon (never got to read any of the comics), was how NICE these guys were. I wanted to hang out with the turtles! What made them so interesting was that it was so unfair that they had to live in the sewer because they were cool dudes, who gives a shit that they were reptiles? Yeah, Raphael was a dick at times, Leo was a bit up his own ass, so and so on, but these were GOOD people and Splinter made that so. Yeah this was a rat raising four turtles into ninjas, but he was also a dad raising his sons to be good pe....err...turtles. Splinter taught them, guided them, lectured, and even punished if necessary.

I grant that I haven't seen the movie yet, so what the hell do I know?, and I am working off a big dose of nostalgia here, but at least by what Bob says, these would not be the turtles that Splinter would raise. Splinter, in previous iterations, raised the boys to be smart and respectful....not horndog bros.

I don't mind seeing changes...rework it, make it awesome, it doesn't HAVE to stay true to the original. Hell Splinter doesn't even have to be a part of it, if you don't want! I wanted to go see this, I wanted it to be good!...but I don't HAVE to want to go see it, it doesn't have to cater to me, because this was made for kids and kids will see it. Boys and girls both and just like when I was a child, they're going to want to hang with the turtles....except now parents wouldn't want the turtles around their kids, and that's just sad.
 

faefrost

New member
Jun 2, 2010
1,280
0
0
KazeAizen said:
faefrost said:
Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.
Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?
The animation and art style takes few minutes to get used to. After that you don't notice it. The closest approximation is The Clone Wars show. The writing and humor is surprisingly subversive. With a darker and wittier edge than you will be expecting. Yeah there is some stupid, it is a kids show, but it doesn't dumb anything down. And has some real dark elements. (Pay attention to what happens to every human character that come in contact with the turtles.) it's one of those rare shows that you can enjoy with your kids. The voice acting is top notch. The main characters are perfectly presented and the overall chemistry in the cast is great.
 

Swarmcrow

New member
Dec 11, 2008
40
0
0
hahahah aahh poor naive bob...you thought and hope this film could be anying else other than a headache .... and now you are mad at Michel bay for being Michel bay.. and doing the stuff Michel bay does ... what you are saying right now, i've been claiming it from day one after the first transformer film .... but the truth is ..we deserve Michel bay ...we deserve because even thought we know his films are big pile of degenerated horse sh17.. we go and pay see them

say all you want but..... by this point Michel bay has prove his point .... the masses have no taste or dignity about the crap they watch.. they are either too ignorant... too uncaring ... or they are simply hypocrites

it wont surprise me if this new tmnt becomes the next transformer franchise and we get to see 6 more of this things

buy hey... maybe if we teach or kid the difference between superficial art and deep cultural art ..we wont have to live in a future where this is still a thing
 

KazeAizen

New member
Jul 17, 2013
1,129
0
0
faefrost said:
KazeAizen said:
faefrost said:
Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.
Apparently the best way this franchise that was derived from a comic book works is in serialized form. Gee who would've ever guessed that? In all seriousness though I have been curious about the new show. While I watched the old Turtles in the early 90s because I was born in 91 the ones I connected with and enjoyed the most were the 2k3 turtles. When I saw images for this new cartoon I didn't think the 3D looked all that impressive and was kind of disappointed that it looked the like the humor skewed way low. Should I give it a shot?
The animation and art style takes few minutes to get used to. After that you don't notice it. The closest approximation is The Clone Wars show. The writing and humor is surprisingly subversive. With a darker and wittier edge than you will be expecting. Yeah there is some stupid, it is a kids show, but it doesn't dumb anything down. And has some real dark elements. (Pay attention to what happens to every human character that come in contact with the turtles.) it's one of those rare shows that you can enjoy with your kids. The voice acting is top notch. The main characters are perfectly presented and the overall chemistry in the cast is great.
Good to hear that. I'll add it to my back log. The 2k3 Turtles had, to me, the perfect balance of mature meets kid friendly. While this new series seemed to skew way younger. I hear Beast Boy's voice actor so I know they got at least one quality voice. I'll check it out.
 

Logience

New member
Jun 25, 2014
100
0
0
Jeez, Bob sounded really reserved in this review. I'm guessing it's because of the "If I have emotions, then everyone will call me biased" train of thought.
 

Westonbirt

New member
Nov 7, 2013
35
0
0
To hell with those who say "BIAAAAAS".

This rag has 20% on RT.

Guardians has 90%.

He's not an outliar, he's in line with everyone else.
 

Westonbirt

New member
Nov 7, 2013
35
0
0
Logience said:
Jeez, Bob sounded really reserved in this review. I'm guessing it's because of the "If I have emotions, then everyone will call me biased" train of thought.
They call him biased already.
 

Dandres

New member
Apr 7, 2013
118
0
0
I can only hate a little bit on people who made these movies only because you can tell that they have no idea what they are doing/what the movie is about or care about how the movie will turn out.

I hate on all the people that pay to see these movies in theater. Using the excuse ?I just wanted to see how bad the movie is going to be.? is no excuse to see it in the theater. Your money is just going for the justification of a sequel of crap. But this is the world we live in and I now believe cartoons should not be made in to live action movies.

On side note for those who have not seen ?Turtles Forever? go see it now. That is my favorite from the franchise.

Also the in the trailers the new turtles looks like they are going to die any minute, crushed by the weight of their shells.
 

Not G. Ivingname

New member
Nov 18, 2009
6,368
0
0
We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?
 

MCerberus

New member
Jun 26, 2013
1,168
0
0
I like that this round, Marvel studios has provided me the simplest response to Bay defenders. Everything made in the movie's defense can be refuted by saying "Guardians."

Hopefully this extends to countering the "they make a lot of money so someone likes them" play.
 

Not G. Ivingname

New member
Nov 18, 2009
6,368
0
0
faefrost said:
Honestly, if you are feeling Nostalgic, and want to experience a GOOD reboot and new take on the TMNT, take the price of 2 tickets to this movie in grab the DVD's from the first 2 seasons of Nikolodeon's current TMNT instead. Solid good funny writing that doesn't talk down to you. Logical connections between characters. An engrossing overarching story. Actual character growth and development, especially April. Bob says today's kids deserve better... But they have better... They have a better take on the Turtles than we ever could have imagined... It's just that it is on TV, not this Michael Bay licensed crapstorm. Here's hoping that this CGI shift fest doesn't damage or cancel the good television show.
Let's really consider this all for a moment.



HOW DID THEY SCREW UP THIS BADLY?
 

MCerberus

New member
Jun 26, 2013
1,168
0
0
Not G. Ivingname said:
We didn't even need this reboot. From all the reports I have heard, the new cartoon is FUN, it is filled with interesting characters and funny gags, and embodies everything good about the series.

Why did we need this? WHY?
This happens the same reason every bad reboot happens.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
Legacy
Feb 9, 2012
18,466
3,005
118
walsfeo said:
Johnny Novgorod said:
Charcharo said:
But... you are biased... Bob...
That is normal though.
What's not normal is calling people who point this out "blithering idiots". I suppose Bob felt somehow threatened by that.

Every month or so I decide to give Bob another shot at movie reviewing. Am I being incredibly unlucky or is he really is this biased/intolerant?
Actually this is a great review. It explains not only that the movie is a big bottle of suck-o-la cola, but why.

Seriously, the world needs more reviews like this.
Juvenile retorts like that notwithstanding?