Escape to the Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Kids Deserved Better Than This

Gordon_4_v1legacy

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Batou667 said:
Uriel_Hayabusa said:
I want to make one small remark regarding the racebending Shredder would have had if Fichtner had played him.

Is it really that big of a deal?

I mean, when there's similar outcry regarding movies like Argo I can understand it since it involved an existing person; but from what I remember being Japanese has never been a big part of Shredder's character.
I'm in the same boat. At best this raises a "meh" from me - Shredder never struck me as really being any distinct enthnicity back when I watched the cartoons, all you can see are his not-particulary-Oriental eyes and a bit of not-particularly-tanned skin.

The only really "Japanese" character in the cartoon I remember was Master Splinter, and that was in the most clichéd, "Ah so, Daniel-san" vein of stereotyping a martial arts master. Hardly a deep and accurate minority character worthy of "celebration"...

So yeah, I'm not surprised that Bob yet again noted this "whitewashing", but I'd have to ask - does it really matter every time? Especially when other characters in various movie/comic franchises are getting race-swapped and gender-swapped with some regularity now?
They do a bit more with it in the 1990 movie, sure he does the martial arts master thing but his philosophical leanings are more about encouraging the bonds between the turtles as brothers, as family. A tact he also takes with a wannabe Foot ninja who used his connection to April to get Splinter abducted and held hostage by the Shredder by reminding him that (ideally) all fathers care for their sons. And somehow, the idea that he mimics Hamato Yoshi is on the surface less stupid that the book of Ninjitsu.

As for Shredder having to be Japanese, in the Turtles universe it seems that the Foot Clan exist in place of the Yakuza and since we're using Nnjas as set dressing, it's a courtesy we should extend. Also, since Yoshi didn't bail because of a moral objection or a sudden attack of conscience: he left because the act of beating Oroku Nagi to death, regardless that he found him beating his wife (possibly after raping her), was an act like unto the unauthorised killing of a Made Man in La Cosa Nostra - he was happy to be an assassin/gangster until he ran afoul of the rules himself.

The idea that a line of indiscretions and fuck ups made by members of the Foot Clan over what is essentially high school bullshit led to the creation of the greatest force of good to fight against them is also very funny.
 

jobu59749

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I always think it's funny when people point out the Bob is "biased" with a review because of the fact that he exerts his 'personal' opinion. I don't know if you're aware of this, but every review written about anything from anyone is an opinion. To read something or write something from a purely objective viewpoint is just kind of dumb. To sit there and only critique the filming techniques used, the directorial image, and the fact that a boom operator didn't fuck up...is dumb. The majority of people don't actually care about these things.

Also, the fact that so many times it's the same people coming back to ***** about the same things...it means you're still watching his reviews and on some sort of level you actually like them. Maybe for reasons not associated to agree with them, but you may like them if only to have something to complain about. No such thing as bad publicity, even if it means people are talking smack about your articles...means their talking about it and that's the important part.

Sorry for the OT...I enjoy your review immensely Bob as you confirmed many of the fears I had about this reboot. It's the formula of a Bay reboot. I always looked to the TMNT as pillars with which to see a morality. Leonardo showed the virtue's of leadership, Donatello showed the paragons of having a curious mind, Michaelangelo instilled the sense to have a little fun once in a while, and Ralph proved that rushing into things usually doesn't end well. The fact that this has been taken away and what they primarily stand for is to promote stereotypes is pathetic, but not surprising for a FOX movie.

I always feel like the operators at FOX are a bunch of fraternity dudes that sit around deciding the fate of great television and movies by playing beer pong while wearing diapers on their heads. It's truly saddening. I'll still probably watch the movie when it comes out on DVD...if only for a rental, because I won't give them all the money they want for branded garbage.

Thanks Bob
 

wooty

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Aug 1, 2009
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The Turtles should of been left in the 90's, where it seemed to fit a lot more than today. The same way that Transformers just felt "80's" when watching and reading about it.

I dread where this is leading if modern cartoons are dug up in 20+ years time to do a realistic reboot.
A Tomb Raider style gritty Dora the Explorer movie, iCarly becoming some Truman show hybrid, My Little Pony becoming some sort of pseudo religi.........OH GOD, CALL THE PENTAGON!!
 

KazeAizen

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wooty said:
The Turtles should of been left in the 90's, where it seemed to fit a lot more than today. The same way that Transformers just felt "80's" when watching and reading about it.

I dread where this is leading if modern cartoons are dug up in 20+ years time to do a realistic reboot.
A Tomb Raider style gritty Dora the Explorer movie, iCarly becoming some Truman show hybrid, My Little Pony becoming some sort of pseudo religi.........OH GOD, CALL THE PENTAGON!!
Hell the only 90s nostalgia kids property I think would work with the gritty reboot thing would be the fucking SWAT Kats. Even then you couldn't go whole hog gritty reboot because they still had comedic undertones. Seriously though since 90s Nostalgia Properties are getting movies now (Power Rangers, Captain Planet, and The Rescue Rangers) I wouldn't mind seeing a good SWAT Kats movie get made.
 

Shjade

Chaos in Jeans
Feb 2, 2010
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erttheking said:
....Michelangelo...horny?....BAY! You had one job! ONE FUCKING JOB! It's like something said, the turtles don't exactly have complicated personalities, SO HOW DID YOU FUCK IT UP!? He's a harmless goofball! Not a horndog!
Honestly, as goofy as he was, I think even making him more of a horndog could've still worked as long as he was a goofy horndog (as opposed to an abrasive one). Nothing inherently wrong with that, just a matter of how you handle it.

Clearly it wasn't handled well here.
 

GloatingSwine

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Coruptin said:
you know, the movie might suck but i actually like the new designs
Then you need to get your sense of style checked.

The new designs are amazingly visually busy, there's shit all over the place that does not add any value to the designs at all, there are no strong outlines or contrasts, just indistinct fiddly shit covered in more indistinct fiddly shit.

Exactly the same problem as the bayformers designs.
 

TerranV

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The movie sucked and sucked hard. I was considering leaving the theater I was so pissed off. To me it seems like no one involved knew what they were supposed to even be making. The movie constantly fluctuates between "gritty" and cartoonishly goofy. Its a PG-13 movie but it has the sensibilities of a kids toon (a bad one). I feel bad for the kids and parents who came to see this. The kids were probably wondering why the movie was so serious all the time and parents were probably worried about exposing their kids to the more "adult" elements.

And what was up with Raph's magic disappearing toothick?
 

MondoMousse

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I've watched these videos for a while now (in addition to Zero Punctuation and Jimquisition), and this is my first time commenting. All I can say is, I saw it coming just from the names involved that this was going to be awful (not just Bay's name on it, but the director of Battle: Los Angeles as well).

Still, what really bother's me is how lazy they were with the material itself. I agree with what you said about it being made for younger audiences, but they could have gone a route that was making fun of what is big in comic book movies currently similar to how the original comic was making fun of what was big in comics at the time (I never read the comics, so if anyone wants to correct me, let me know). I could have seen a sort of fun poke at stuff like origin stories or movies like 'The Dark Knight's' tone as they have been pretty popular. Of course, that would require better writing and not treating audiences like idiots from the filmmakers.
 

[Kira Must Die]

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Sep 30, 2009
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"This is the worst thing to happen to turtles in a movie since Cannibal Holocaust."

That's... a bold statement. You're basically saying that a bad movie about turtle ninjas is worst than an actual turtle being butchered onscreen.

Everything I heard about this movie is that it's not as bad as you'll think it'll be, but not good, either.
 

Machine Man 1992

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KazeAizen said:
wooty said:
The Turtles should of been left in the 90's, where it seemed to fit a lot more than today. The same way that Transformers just felt "80's" when watching and reading about it.

I dread where this is leading if modern cartoons are dug up in 20+ years time to do a realistic reboot.
A Tomb Raider style gritty Dora the Explorer movie, iCarly becoming some Truman show hybrid, My Little Pony becoming some sort of pseudo religi.........OH GOD, CALL THE PENTAGON!!
Hell the only 90s nostalgia kids property I think would work with the gritty reboot thing would be the fucking SWAT Kats. Even then you couldn't go whole hog gritty reboot because they still had comedic undertones. Seriously though since 90s Nostalgia Properties are getting movies now (Power Rangers, Captain Planet, and The Rescue Rangers) I wouldn't mind seeing a good SWAT Kats movie get made.
I would pay ten thousand dollars to see a SWAT Kats reboot.

That show was so awesome, it's a crime against cartoons it only lasted two seasons.
 

Elijah Newton

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Sep 17, 2008
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Wow.

Based purely on the backstory related herein I'm going to back gingerly away from my cautious optimism ( http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.857360-Watch-the-Beginning-of-the-New-TMNTs-Final-Fight-With-Shredder?page=2#21247682 ). If I hadn't been completely simpatico with MovieBob on the Lego movie I might try playing Devil's Advocate but I think if I saw this flick I'd wind up being on the same page and so will try, as graciously as possible, to avoid a rage-generating event and thank MB for his troubles.

Also, I'd like to be the umpty-million-th person to applaud the real theme of this review, not trashing this interpretation of TMNT but the insistance that Kids Deserve Better than This.

That's a great focus to have.
 

Amir Kondori

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Apr 11, 2013
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Aiddon said:
judging by the critical slaughter that's happening to the movie, you're not alone in ripping it to shreds. Seriously, there is no point in trying to be nice to this movie. Shit is shit. I just hope this film bombs if for no other reason than to have Fox's smug, petulant tantrum thrown back in her face. Furthermore, I'm left wondering if this is a worse role for Fichtner than his turn in The Lone Ranger.

Also, with The Expendables III next week I think we may be in for more Angry Bob. Which admittedly are some of his more amusing reviews because he can just tear into them guilt-free.
Unfortunately this movie was number 1 this weekend.
 

Amir Kondori

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jobu59749 said:
I always think it's funny when people point out the Bob is "biased" with a review because of the fact that he exerts his 'personal' opinion. I don't know if you're aware of this, but every review written about anything from anyone is an opinion. To read something or write something from a purely objective viewpoint is just kind of dumb. To sit there and only critique the filming techniques used, the directorial image, and the fact that a boom operator didn't fuck up...is dumb. The majority of people don't actually care about these things.

Also, the fact that so many times it's the same people coming back to ***** about the same things...it means you're still watching his reviews and on some sort of level you actually like them. Maybe for reasons not associated to agree with them, but you may like them if only to have something to complain about. No such thing as bad publicity, even if it means people are talking smack about your articles...means their talking about it and that's the important part.

Sorry for the OT...I enjoy your review immensely Bob as you confirmed many of the fears I had about this reboot. It's the formula of a Bay reboot. I always looked to the TMNT as pillars with which to see a morality. Leonardo showed the virtue's of leadership, Donatello showed the paragons of having a curious mind, Michaelangelo instilled the sense to have a little fun once in a while, and Ralph proved that rushing into things usually doesn't end well. The fact that this has been taken away and what they primarily stand for is to promote stereotypes is pathetic, but not surprising for a FOX movie.

I always feel like the operators at FOX are a bunch of fraternity dudes that sit around deciding the fate of great television and movies by playing beer pong while wearing diapers on their heads. It's truly saddening. I'll still probably watch the movie when it comes out on DVD...if only for a rental, because I won't give them all the money they want for branded garbage.

Thanks Bob
People are totally aware that reviews of movies, and games for that matter, come down to personal taste and opinion. They just conveniently forget that fact when the reviewer trashes something they like. Grown up, mature people don't do this, in fact I like readying well written reviews that cover negative aspects of media I like, but immature and insecure people feel like a negative review of a product they like is an indictment of their own taste and intelligence. So they lash out with accusations of "bias" and "clickbait" and anything else they can think of to try and discredit the reviewer. It is really pathetic to see.
 

Lizmichi

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Jul 2, 2009
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jobu59749 said:
Thank you, someone else sees that reviews are in fact personal opinion based on how the thing being reviewed makes the reviewer feel; in other words, take it as you will when it comes to forming your own feelings, and opinions on the matter.

To the main point, I was 99% sure that this movie was going to be terrible, but sadly Megan Fox still gets to stand by her bitchy statement. If she is a fan of TMNT as she clams to be this project should piss her off, or make her have some doubts about how good it will be. Frankly I don't trust anything she says, and I find her lack of acting talent tiring. I thought the world was done with her anyway. Oh well, last time she opened her mouth like this she was fired from Transformers 3.
 

KazeAizen

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Machine Man 1992 said:
KazeAizen said:
wooty said:
The Turtles should of been left in the 90's, where it seemed to fit a lot more than today. The same way that Transformers just felt "80's" when watching and reading about it.

I dread where this is leading if modern cartoons are dug up in 20+ years time to do a realistic reboot.
A Tomb Raider style gritty Dora the Explorer movie, iCarly becoming some Truman show hybrid, My Little Pony becoming some sort of pseudo religi.........OH GOD, CALL THE PENTAGON!!
Hell the only 90s nostalgia kids property I think would work with the gritty reboot thing would be the fucking SWAT Kats. Even then you couldn't go whole hog gritty reboot because they still had comedic undertones. Seriously though since 90s Nostalgia Properties are getting movies now (Power Rangers, Captain Planet, and The Rescue Rangers) I wouldn't mind seeing a good SWAT Kats movie get made.
I would pay ten thousand dollars to see a SWAT Kats reboot.

That show was so awesome, it's a crime against cartoons it only lasted two seasons.
Be mad at the parents groups that went after shows like that. Why do you think something like Captain Planet got 6 seasons and stuff like SWAT Kats got shut down after 2? Thank God they didn't get Power Rangers as well. Who knows where my life would be without the greatest kids superhero team to ever live.
 

ace_of_something

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Sep 19, 2008
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[Kira Must Die said:
]"This is the worst thing to happen to turtles in a movie since Cannibal Holocaust."

That's... a bold statement. You're basically saying that a bad movie about turtle ninjas is worst than an actual turtle being butchered onscreen.

Everything I heard about this movie is that it's not as bad as you'll think it'll be, but not good, either.
Lemme help ya here: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hyperbole

My oldest son is 12. I think that is the only age for which this movie works. Old enough to get a lot of it. Young enough to enjoy the groan inducing parts. Young enough to not know better.
 

[Kira Must Die]

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Sep 30, 2009
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ace_of_something said:
[Kira Must Die said:
]"This is the worst thing to happen to turtles in a movie since Cannibal Holocaust."

That's... a bold statement. You're basically saying that a bad movie about turtle ninjas is worst than an actual turtle being butchered onscreen.

Everything I heard about this movie is that it's not as bad as you'll think it'll be, but not good, either.
Lemme help ya here: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hyperbole

My oldest son is 12. I think that is the only age for which this movie works. Old enough to get a lot of it. Young enough to enjoy the groan inducing parts. Young enough to not know better.
I know it's an exaggerated reaction, but still, comparing a bad movie to actual animal butchering kinda bothers me.
 

Dragonlayer

Aka Corporal Yakob
Dec 5, 2013
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Not interested in the slightest in this movie, but I'm really digging the 300's Persian-Immortals-meets-modern-day Western-terrorist look those Foot clan paramilitaries are sporting.