Escape to the Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Kids Deserved Better Than This

[BayouStalker]

I have to say, that after watching Bob's review, and hearing all of the critical demolishing of this movie, I must thank all of the critics who panned the movie. The bar was set so low that it seemed like this movie was the antichrist, so after going to watch the movie with the lowest expectations possible, it turned out to not be nearly as bad as many stated it was. Was it great? No. Was Megan Fox her normal, horribly acted self? Yes, which makes me wonder what sort of deal her and Bay have going on. Was it terrible? Nope. Donatello was still a nerd as always, Michelangelo was still the hyper youngster, Rafael was still the Noble Prick Bruiser, and Leonardo was just as wooden as ever (Bland Cyclops Syndrome).

The focus of April O'Neil having a father who helped create the ooze was forced and completely unnecessary, but they did try to make it like an old turtles show. Which meant it was horribly cheesy. The biggest thing I have noticed, and the biggest complaint has been, it's not the first movie. It wasn't going to be the first movie. If you want more of exactly the same but new, just watch the first movie with a different language option to spice it up a bit.

That said, I can see why rose colored glasses mar the movie greatly, and I can see why people may not like the movie at all. It's Michael Bay so it's bad (Not speaking to you, Bob, on that note), Megan Fox had no right to be in the movie (This one I agree with). But it was a kiddy sort of doofy movie that to me capture the cartoon series fairly well. Stupid? Yes, but it was a cute, fun movie.

 

[Citizen Graves]

NOOOOO! Shut up, you fat silly man in your fat silly chair talking your fat silly talk on the internet!
This new TMNT movie is great!!!! And I haven't even seen it yet but I am going to.
I'll even watch it 10 times on opening night. Because I'm a really real fan, unlike you and everyone else who hates on this mastarpeace of the cinematic.
I've watched all the cartoons and all the movies, I've read every piece of paper that has a turtle on it (and some of them were definitely NOT ninjas) but I don't care. I've been collecting the toys for years (well, I play with them in my basement where my dead parents let me live with them) and I will be so for ever until I die and beyond and anyway what was I talking about....????

Gotta' go buy moar TMNT toys and cereals and movies and comics and underwear and posters and more toys and this movie is great and some heroin.


Captcha: trickle down

 

[Coruptin]

you know, the movie might suck but i actually like the new designs

Then you need to get your sense of style checked.

The new designs are amazingly visually busy, there's shit all over the place that does not add any value to the designs at all, there are no strong outlines or contrasts, just indistinct fiddly shit covered in more indistinct fiddly shit.

Exactly the same problem as the bayformers designs.

eh, if it means i don't have to be a grump every time a childhood franchise gets rebooted or updated i'm kind of cool with it.

 

[tweedpol]

Oh, Bob...
We tried to tell you you were right the first time about Michael Bay...

 

[spoonybard.hahs]

Oh, Bob...
We tried to tell you you were right the first time about Michael Bay...

He's still right about how the audience makes it possible for Bay to continue to have a career. It's effectively an ouroboros of shit.

 

[fieryhotaru]

I wanna know what Bob thinks of the 2012 Nick show, cuz in my opinion, it has a better plot than the original and the characters are fantastic.

 

[GamerFromJump]

It's true, the current generation deserves a good Ninja Turtles. Unfortunately, the good Ninja Turtles is being delayed to god knows when because this is in theaters.

Yes, I'm saying the Nick TMNT is pretty good.

 

[SandroTheMaster]

I

I like Bob and Doug. I would also suggest Jeremy Jahn's who's opinions seem to match up pretty well with what we aging nerdlings seem to enjoy. I find the aggregate opinion among them is normally pretty close to how I will find a movie.

I'll give him a look, thanks.

I know how you hated the TMNT one, but basically, this was Jeremy Jahn's review of it:

Megan Fox was functional, but that's it.
Shredder seemed tacked on.
The plot was sketchy.
But the turtles were spot on.
The action scenes were as good as shaky cam can be.
So, all in all, a good movie to watch drunk (basically a watchable with some good scenes to carry the rest in his rating scale)

Which is, without a single shadow of doubt, a much more even handed review than MovieBobs.

Also, so far I've never seem Jeremy Jahn cling to any particular movie. And never has he just opened the floodgates to a sea of bile and let it flow, dumping on anyone who disagrees with him. So far the most negative review I've watched was Transformers 4, and he was nowhere near the hatemonger Bob can become, mostly just taking the movie at face value and recognizing it for the happy meal it was. Ok to like, but not nutritious enough to subsist on.

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

And on the whole Shredder got pushed aside to make way for William Fincher as the bad guy and got no screen time...you wanna know why that happened? Because people complained that the Asian character was being played by a white guy. If you had an asian guy play the role, those same people would have complained "STOP ENFORCING STEREOTYPES!" at them.

No, people complained that Oroku Saki had seemingly been turned into a white guy for no discernible reason. And since the Foot Clan and Oroku Saki are exclusively a criminal element (basically in the TNMT canon, replacing the Yakuza) from Japan it wouldn't have been the same thing because at that point it's about as controversial as hiring Italians for a movie about the Cosa Nostra. I haven't seen Lucy so I'm not sure if that comparison holds up, so fair play there if you're right.


Now, if William Fitcher had been Baxter Stockman, then I feel a lot of hand-wringing and wanking could have been saved and from what I read of the plot, probably would have made more sense.

 

[GeeksUtopia]

Finally decided to sit down and watch the movie. There were few, not many...or rememberable, action or comedy bits that made little to no impact. Megan Fox's overall acting just was filled with a gasp here and there mixed with poses that looks like she is posing for a magazine cover. The turtle cgi, looks good...from a distance. Majority of the screen shots from transition of scene to scene overly polluted with lens flares. The grand plan for the foot clan seemed lacking. Step 1: disperse toxin. Step 2: ask government for blank check to research for cure. Step 3: gain marvelous riches on cure that we already are in possesion of. Step 4:...how do we gain hold. Going on a pizza and tmnt marathon to scrub this from my memory. Not a pizza hut pizza mind you, a local pizzaria, something that didn't make a huge slap in the face product placement in the movie.

 

[GeeksUtopia]

But the turtles were spot on.

Minus the fact that Michaelangelo wasn't the laid back kawabunga guy and shouldn't be horning in on April. Raphael, excessively aggressive and kind of pushing it with the toothpick thing. Donatello, too stereotypical of being a textbook nerd. And leonardo, not as much of a leader as he is supposed to be

 

[SandroTheMaster]

But the turtles were spot on.

Minus the fact that Michaelangelo wasn't the laid back kawabunga guy and shouldn't be horning in on April. Raphael, excessively aggressive and kind of pushing it with the toothpick thing. Donatello, too stereotypical of being a textbook nerd. And leonardo, not as much of a leader as he is supposed to be

People are too attached to the 1980s show. The turtles weren't the pinnacle of characterization in that one. They were two dimensional in their roles and the writing overall was awful. I remember hating, HATING April even when I was a Kid because of how utterly useless she was, and how all she brought to the equation was two even more useless characters (something I wasn't sure on how it was even possible) and her sex-appeal. Other than that, she was the dumbass-in-distress in every freaking single episode, looking for ever more obvious ways to get kidnapped.

In a movie aimed more at adults, I understand how each of the turtles were adapted. I really don't see how the "date-rapist Michelangelo" everyone's talking about, the guy was clearly harmless (one blind missile gag non-withstanding) and he was precisely the cornball goof I expected. Raphael was a more veritable loner/badass for an adult audience, than the neutered "I disagree with Leonardo every once a full moon" he was in the 1980s show. This version of Donatello showed very well how his intelligence made him resourceful as well as a techie. Leonardo did intervene in every single scene with the turtles to remind his brothers to hold back and not unleash on a civilian.

To each his own, but I agree their characterization was one of the few saving graces of the movie, too bad the turtles only got something like 20% of screen time.