Escape to the Movies: The Expendables

[nightwolf667]

eight more reasons for existing

How about eight less? I'm fine with something like "eight more reasons for a red-blooded male with no film taste to go see it", but you're actually implying that boobsploitation improves movies. Just like how you said Tomb Raider was actually good (as opposed to Uncharted) because of Lara's boobs, hence boobsploitation improves games.

Ugh.

I've followed your videos for a long, long time, Bob. I've been watching GOT pretty much since the beginning, and as soon as I made the connection that these videos were by you too, I started watching. By and large, I've agreed with your points and found myself liking exactly the same films as you. But man, I'm starting to realise that while you're quite clever, you still act (in your Moviebob persona, at least) like you're the average heavy-breathing, creepy basement-dweller that never quite got past the "omgboobies" stage of development. Most of the Escapist community acts more maturely than that. Why don't you?

I'm being serious. I'm starting to get creeped out. I'm really not sure I want to watch your videos any more.

Sincerely,
Female nerd #1034575

Another female nerd chiming in.

Now, MovieBob, I'm not as big a fan of yours as female nerd Meemaimoh, but I too have noticed (and been creeped out by) the heavy amount of boobsploitation that's been going on in your videos. Namely the whacking off to Angelina Jolie in the majority of your Salt review. The same way your voice goes high when you mention *gasp Scarlett Johansson (Who makes a terrible, terrible Black Widow by the way. All she does is make those boobs look good in a cat suit... OH WAIT!) I'm starting to believe that the thing you hated most about the Expendables Bob, was that there was no jiggle factor. Especially as Meemaimoh pointed out above that Dead or Alive has eight reasons to watch post shot of four girls.

The problem I have with you Bob isn't just that you've lost your professionalism or the fact that your Salt review made me want a very, very, very long shower just to get the ugly, creepy, greasy feeling of disgust off. It's the hypocrisy. You rail against douchebags and douchebag comedy while using sex, sex symbols, and sex jokes about women in the exact same way as those movies that you rail against. That's hypocrisy and it makes your rantings about the sheeple and the steroid pumping douchebag monkeys mean less than dirt because you know what? You're right up there with them. You only ever seem to have a problem with a movie (like I don't know Revenge of the Fallen and the two giant wrecking balls) when the focus of the humor is male sexuality. As long as it exploits women on screen it's fine, in fact it makes it a good movie, a better movie, the best movie! I mean, for god's sake man, you said the best thing about Pirahana 3D was "gratuitous nudity". The girls' gratuitous nudity I'm guessing. Boobies and blood! Yay!

It's creepy, it's disgusting, and it tells me that you've lost all perspective and any shred of professionalism you had. When boobs become the focus of why a movie is or is not good, and when you make honest jokes about that while at the same time railing against that same kind of comedy? Well, it's time to hang up the critics hat and go home.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

Bob is all for treating women fairly. His Salt review was just him joking around because he KNEW it was going to get a chuckle out of people (though admittedly Ms. Jolie is quite the specimen, and I don't even have a sex drive). He hates mouth breathers and perverts just as much as anyone does, but he's not so uptight to the point where he can't appreciate the female form.

 

[Lieju]

I keep hearing two things about this movie; that it's absolute garbage, or that it's a lot of fun.

I don't really care either way. Even if it would be good, it's not the kind of movie that would interest me.

 

[Clankenbeard]

Most commented Escape to the Movies ever!

I'm not gonna see this movie due to personal/momentary lack of interest. I find it hard to believe that a $65 million (so far) movie can really suck as hard or as loudly as Bob said. Scott Pilgrim dropped to #10 this week while The Expendables careened along in the #1 spot for week 2. A sign of the times. Vampires Suck was #2.

I'll be back here every week listening to what Bob has to say. You keep doing your thing Bobo! I'll be here. I breathe through my nose AND mouth. Now get to work, you have a lot of posts to read.

 

[nightwolf667]

Bob is all for treating women fairly. His Salt review was just him joking around because he KNEW it was going to get a chuckle out of people (though admittedly Ms. Jolie is quite the specimen, and I don't even have a sex drive). He hates mouth breathers and perverts just as much as anyone does, but he's not so uptight to the point where he can't appreciate the female form.

That's exactly my point though. His Salt review was in the exact same vein of fratboy comedy that Michael Bay uses and then he turns around and rails against Michael Bay (and anyone else) for using that type of comedy. This is called hypocrisy.

Bob may be for treating women fairly, but that's not what comes across in his reviews. From a female's perspective, he sounds like those whiny, creepy mouth breathers who never escaped their mother's basements and don't know how to have a conversation with dee womenz. Now, Bob wants to be taken seriously as a professional movie critic. Well, professional movie critics don't spend several minutes out of their review moaning and groaning or sounding like they are masturbating to pictures of said actress on the screen. It's not about chuckles or comedy and it has no place in a professional film review, especially not for several minutes at a time. Like several people on this forum have already pointed out, he insinuates that Dead or Alive is a better movie not because it has female action stars but because it has boobs. "At least DOA had eight reasons to watch." Cue shot of four girls standing holding katanas. Now, I'm not sure about you but I can do the visual math. I get that it's supposed to be taken as a joke, but there's an underlying subtext to what he's saying that can end up being highly offensive to both female and male viewers. And it's especially not a smart idea to make those jokes when one takes such a strong stance against filmmakers using that kind of exploitation for comedy. Bob has proved himself to be a member of the "douchebag demographic" that he hates so much.

Or is it only not okay when filmmakers do that with the male form, Bob? Is it because those two large, glistening, heavy wrecking balls on Devastator make you uncomfortable?

It's hypocritical, lacking in professionalism, I'm getting tired of it, and it's clear from this thread that I'm not the only one.

 

[Aiddon_v1legacy]

just because it's a professional review doesn't mean he can't have fun and also entertain his viewers (hell, Peter Travers is kinda the same way; when he hates a movie he REAAAAALLY has fun with it) and quite frankly it's impossible for you to try and take the piss out of Bob when he's already taken the piss out of himself so much. So, NO, YOU ARE WRONG. He is NOT part of that douchebag demographic you so WANT him to be a part of just so your beloved opinion is somehow validated.

 

[MBE]

Geez, MovieBob, tell us what you REALLY think?

As for why Jean-Claude Van Damme didn't do the movie, maybe he couldn't get time off from his job at Subway to do a cameo like Schwarzenegger and Willis?

 

[DannibalG36]

I've disagreed with every single one of your reviews since Book of Eli. I watch the movie, watch your review, and see how much I disagree with you.

But now I'm just going to stop watching. I know nobody cares, but I'm sick of this. MovieBob is the biggest elitist nerd prick I have ever seen in my life. Just because you've seen every single movie ever made in all your spare time doesn't mean you're allowed to call everyone a fucking idiot sheep for liking their own movies.

Excuse the general public for being "Obedient Sheep" because we thought that a throwback action flick would be fun to watch, instead of yet another film where Michael Cera acts like a socially awkward teenage.

I usually don't care about shit like this, but seriously Moviebob, stop being such an elitist dick and realize that not everyone hates action movies and that only beautiful arty flicks with underlying messages can be "good".

THANK YOU.

 

[UnSeEn60]

Agree. Agree agree agree AGREE.

You've never let me down yet, Bob, and you sure as hell aren't starting now. You just said exactly what I've been trying to convince people of: don't see this overrated 'star'-studded piece of garbage. Sure, people are going to hate you for it - heaven forbid you insult their favourite muscle-bound morons, but fuck it, I'm glad we're on the same page.

Two thumbs all the way up. Go see Scott Pilgrim and don't waste another cent on this trash.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

Moviebob, I have finally had it with your pretentious nerd-rage. You think the average moviegoer is a mindless sheep for enjoying a mindless explosionfest while your beloved Scott Pilgrim took fifth on opening weekend. You seem utterly convinced that you're in the right and anyone who disagrees with you is a horrible, ignorant excuse of a person who can go screw themselves.

Grow up, jackass. This is the last review of yours I'm watching.

I saw Scott Pilgrim. And it sucked.

Dude, f*ck you. He can say he's right on his own video. Usually people watch a movie critic if they agree with their opinions, or have similar tastes. Obviously you don't agree with him, so stop b*tching about it you wart on the @ss of society.

If you think Scott Pilgrim sucked, you evidently have no idea what makes a movie good.

Or he has an opinion. Besides, he didn't even say that he disagreed with Bob's Expendables review, he said he didn't appreciate being insulted and treated as if his opinion didn't matter.

I also didn't say anything about him disagreeing with Bob's Expendables Review. I know he has an opinion, but according to his post, it isn't anything like Bob's when it comes to movies. So why does he need to fly off the handle at Bob? Bob didn't make "Undead Dragon King" watch his reviews.

Because, as I mentioned in my previous post, Bob directly insulted people who went to see The Expendables. I (and I imagine him too) don't have a problem with somebody disagreeing with my opinion, I ]do[/i] have a problem with being told that because of my opinion I am, "the worst kind of person."

Go lay down.

And reported. You could at least try to make it less obvious that all you're doing is insulting people.

Nice bro. You're just like me, you pussy. You're just a troll, looking for someone to disagree with. You're no better than anyone else on the Internet.

No, I'm not like you. I'm actually discussing the video, rather than throwing mindless insults.

But thanks for admitting you're a troll.

I must say, without malice or bad thoughts at all, how incredibly hilarious this all is. I watch Yahtzee insult Nintendo, Microsoft, Sony, every viewer, the players of certain games, and any other person on the earth that he feels like (or atleast speaks incredibly harshly of them) because that's his gimmick, it's all it is.

Movie Bob is the same. He's an extremist for the most part. He lavishes up the good and insuts the bad to the worst extent. Don't forget that he's in the film industry as more than a critic, so he might see pointless nonsense as an insult to good movies. THat being said, it's hilarious how people will take this shit from yahtzee but not from movie bob... Not saying anyone is right or wrong.

I'll admit, calling people "The worst kinda person" was a big harsh, but isn't that what you do when you nerd rage? You say the most ridiculous shit. Read his journal, it's actually a much better review

 

[nightwolf667]

just because it's a professional review doesn't mean he can't have fun and also entertain his viewers (hell, Peter Travers is kinda the same way; when he hates a movie he REAAAAALLY has fun with it)

Did you decide to miss the point of my last post because, I'm pretty sure I made my position clear that what I hate wasn't comedy, it was the said reviewer whining and railing against frat boys and frat boy comedy while using said comedy to get laughs in his reviews.

For the record though, this wasn't a review. This was a ranting whinefest that doesn't even reach the level of the usual "comedy" I expect from Bob. It wasn't a review, a review actually discusses the movie. Bob spent far more time making ad hominem attacks on it and anyone who even thought the idea of the movie would be fun, much less went to see it. Oh yes, and there was more griping about Scott Pilgrim. You can see his bias clearly in the review.

Hypocrisy, I'm talking about hypocrisy. You're angry that anyone dared suggest that Bob is a fan of boobsploitation.

and quite frankly it's impossible for you to try and take the piss out of Bob

I don't recall ever assuming that Bob would even read my comments when this thread alone has around 900 posts and his inbox is probably chock full of even more hate mail.

when he's already taken the piss out of himself so much.

Self-deprecating humor every now and then does not stop someone from falling into the douchebag demographic. Especially not when they enjoy masturbating to a live audience over pictures of Angelina Jolie.

So, NO, YOU ARE WRONG.

NO, YOU ARE WRONG! (sarcasm is implied), does dropping this to the level of a third grader screaming match make you feel better?

Anyway, the sum I'm wrong of your logic is that because Bob likes to take the piss out of himself every now and then with self-deprecating humor, I'm wrong about him? How does that make any sense? The world isn't that black and white and you can't prove someone wrong by just screaming into the void.

You need concrete reasons. Try again.

He is NOT part of that douchebag demographic

Yes, he is.

you so WANT him to be a part of just so your beloved opinion is somehow validated.

You've already validated my opinion by responding to it.

But since you're logic has devolved to a third grade level, I will end this with the same level of witty repartee.

"Aww, gee Aiddon, if you love him so much, why don't ya just marry him?"

 

[Et3rnalLegend64]

At this rate, Bob is gonna have the 1,000 comment badge in no time, all because he flames a movie and its viewers so much in a single review. For the record, I watched the movie before I watched the review. I enjoyed the movie. I want to see Scott Pilgrim as well, but I'm broke at the moment.

I'm quite surprised that MovieBob hated it so much and if it's really because he's angry that Scott Pilgrim didn't do as well (as everyone else is saying). I don't watch every Escape To The Movies, but the ones I've seen come off as incredibly optimistic most of the time (see: The Last Airbender review). I know this movie has mixed reviews, and expected Bob to be somewhere in the middle. Instead, he's going off on an angry rant.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

At this rate, Bob is gonna have the 1,000 comment badge in no time, all because he flames a movie and its viewers so much in a single review. For the record, I watched the movie before I watched the review. I enjoyed the movie. I want to see Scott Pilgrim as well, but I'm broke at the moment.

I'm quite surprised that MovieBob hated it so much and if it's really because he's angry that Scott Pilgrim didn't do as well (as everyone else is saying). I don't watch every Escape To The Movies, but the ones I've seen come off as incredibly optimistic most of the time (see: The Last Airbender review). I know this movie has mixed reviews, and expected Bob to be somewhere in the middle. Instead, he's going off on an angry rant.

Movie Bob doesn't really do the "In the middle" thing. If he's got a good thought of the movie, he says it. If it pisses him off so much that he wonders who watches these things, then you get something like this review.

I read his journal, so I knew what to expect, and it still came off as harsh, but whatever... Ebert (Yes, the one that says VGs are not art, whatever) says in the beginning of a book "This person says you're a bad actor, because you've won nothing. You told him he's won nothing as well, we guess what? I've won (lists a ton of awards) so I'm qualified to tell you that you suck, so you suck" Not the exact words, but close enough. For someone that won the pulitzer, he's insulting the actor, not the work, and being a dick

You get it everywhere

 

[Bombader]

I saw this and Scott and loved them both. Expendables was everything I expected with a few thoughtful bits thrown in.

Besides, I'm not sure if Stallone is going to be doing stunts in the next movie he does, he almost lost a spine. >.>

 

[DanHibiki]

You know, for a minute I thought bob would not revert to his chin beard blockbuster employee roots, but this is the last straw.

You got nothing to offer and this is the last time I will click on one of your shitty reviews.

 

[snow]

-snip

+1 to everything he said.

Probably the best analysis of this whole situation.

MB, less temper and emotions, more facts and analysis please.

Here I was expecting some one from the "Bob can do no wrong" crowd to chew me out, haha thanks!

Also, welcome to the escapist!

 

[JacobPlackett]

You know, for a minute I thought bob would not revert to his chin beard blockbuster employee roots, but this is the last straw.

You got nothing to offer and this is the last time I will click on one of your shitty reviews.

This. Dan is NEVER WRONG.

 

[filmguy450]

Data East Arcade Collection.AWESOME
It's funny he's Talking about Gore in Rambo when spoiler Rambo doesn't actually kill anyone in that film.

EDIT: OOOOH THAT RAMBO! Bet he wishes the Expendables crashed as hard as that film did.

Um, dude, yes, Rambo kills a ton of people in the latest Rambo flick, titled simply enough, "Rambo". Maybe you got confused and thought he was referring to the original, which is actually called "First Blood". Way to not pay proper attention!

 

[filmguy450]

You know, for a minute I thought bob would not revert to his chin beard blockbuster employee roots, but this is the last straw.

You got nothing to offer and this is the last time I will click on one of your shitty reviews.

I thought he was right on the money. This film is boring as sin, stupid, makes little sense, is terribly lit, has awful cinematography, mostly bad acting (Li, Lundgren, Statham are excluded), nonsensical everythings ("Aaahh, your daughter paints. This is how it begins!"), truly one of the worst of the year, and maybe one of the worst action films ever.