Escape to the Movies: Transformers Revenge

[MovieBob]

Another point I want to make that calling the Twins characters racist is bullshit. Look these are giant alien robots, if they were all given the same personalities it would be boring. And the nagging question in my mind is that you actually took the time to take these characters, apply them to your preconceived notion of what is stereotypical African-American behavior, then take those thoughts to the internet and spew your opinion on what is and is not racist. Seriously, if someone hadn't said that they're portrayals were racist I wouldn't have even thought of that, honestly, it never crossed my mind.

Okay, yeah. Let's get into this one.

The problem with Mudflap and Skids isn't in my or anyone else's perceptions or preconcieved notions of African-Americans. This isn't like Jar-Jar Binks, where a wholly-original creation seems to incidentally embody certain old stereotypes. The defining physical features of the twins - the googly-eyes, big floppy lips, simian ears, attention-focusing teeth and shuffling gait are cast-in-car-parts recreations of a very specific brand of cartoon-caricature common at the turn of the century and well into the late-1940s generally called a "Sambo" (or sometimes "Golliwog" if you're from Europe, though there's some nuance to that one) or a "Pickaninny" if the character is meant to be young. When coupled with the Twin's personality characterization, i.e. ignorant, illiterate, bickering and overly self-amused, this places them in a secondary type refered to as "Minstrelsy," as in reminiscient-of-a-minstrel-show. You can go ahead and google any of those terms.

Sambos and Minstrel Shows ARE racist caricatures, the Twins ARE Sambos, therefore they ARE racist caricatures. Whether or not the person(s) who signed off on their design are aware of that is irrelevant - if I draw a Nazi swastika, it's still a Nazi swastika whether I know what it stands for or not. At BEST, their presence is a demonstration that more than one person on the creative staff of this film is STUNNINGLY ignorant of entertainment history.

Devastator. Well I'll agree that they could have and should have done more with him, I will say that in that particular plot it would have been a bit difficult to slot him in otherwise, because there's only so much they can have him do in the damn desert.

If they didn't have anything to do with him, he shouldn't have been there.

The problem with Devastator's appearance is the problem with the whole movie: Stuff happens for random reasons without much sense. It's now coming out (allegations, I stress) that Bay etc. apparently "got around" the writer's strike by planning out and locking-down action scenes without any context to be "linked together" after the fact whenenver the writers were able to get back to work. Sadly, looking at the film, I believe it.

That's likely how you end up with this kind of disjointed mess: Devastator gets this HUGE, ominous, "ship-coming-out-of-the-clouds-in-ID4" introduction because... well, because they promise everyone Devastator would show up, so here he is. But since it's a movie, you need something for him to do: Open the pyramid. Why are the random "fresh" Decepticons doing the hand-to-hand fighting while the nigh-unstoppable robot-eating god-monster is doing something that it looks like ANY of them could do? Because he's just there to be there, no plan, no reason. Hence the deus-ex-machina of having John Turturo make a phonecall to a Navy character we've had almost no introduction to, who reveals his boat is carrying an anti-Devastator super-gun that we've NEVER heard of in the film before. That is the EPITOME of bad storytelling, plain and simple.

See also: In the 2nd act, we randomly encounter a Decepticon who can transform into a human. First off, this makes no sense. If the robots can turn into people, why do they have to hide-out as CARS? Wouldn't hiding be EASIER as people? Secondly, even if she's one-of-a-kind, WHY is her job to grab Shia; something that EVERY Decepticon has proved wholly capable of doing in the past. Why isn't she infiltrating the Pentagon or something? This seems like kind of a valuable asset to waste on a snatch-and-grab assignment. BUT, there she is: Because we've decided we want a "human transformer" scene and we're just gonna put it wherever it kinda lines up. Again, bad, disjointed storytelling.

(Post-script on that last point: Y'know what the worst part is? There's a way that could've been better AND earned this film at least one-star for a glimmer of brains: Make Megan Fox the Decepticon - i.e. maybe she got killed at some point in #1 and they swapped her out with a sleeper. THAT would've been a nifty twist, and it's even got a built-in joke: "Aw man, I KNEW she was too damn hot!")

Oh and it's incredibly idiotic to make a huge deal out of something that got all of 3 seconds of screen time, and was obviously meant as a joke.

I'm making a big deal of Devastator's balls because the MOVIE makes a big deal of Devastator's balls. If it WAS just a background joke, fine, it wouldn't rate a mention. The problem is, the film THEN drops in a human character to point to them and loudly exclaim: "ENEMY SCROTUM!!!!," like they're so proud of this gag they had to make sure we "got it."

 

[Tdc2182]

OK, this review has finally convinced me that Moviebob has little to no idea what he is talking about when it comes to film. Before I start, let me say that I didn't think that Transformers 2 was very good. At all. Every joke was frankly terrible and it was far too long and bloated, much more so than it needed to be. Did we really need to see Sam at college? What did his roommate bring to the film at all? Robot balls? And as for John Turturro's sagging arse... eurgh.

But really, to dismiss the notion that this was merely a dumb film based on a TOY LINE, and to dismiss anyone who subscribes to that notion as an idiot is asshattery of the highest order. Are you really so pretentious to think that a film about giant robots fighting is going to produce something other than a mindless boomfest? A FILM WILL ALWAYS BE LIMITED BY WHATEVER IT WAS INSPIRED BY, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. You want to stray from the source material, by extension straying from what the fans want? Go ahead. But in the entertainment industry, you don't fuck with the fans. An example of my point? Ang Lee's Hulk. Nothing technically wrong with it, but it was a film about the HULK, for God's sake! It veered off into totally irrelevant territory, alienating the fans and as such it was badly received. Michael Bay, with this film, was simply giving the fans what they wanted, making it bigger, brasher and louder than Transformers 1 in all areas. Unfortunately, this applied to the crap bits of that film too, but to all the people who are saying it's the worst film EVAR just because Spoony and co said so, you need to grow up a little.

Though half this statement you just agreed with moviebob. I mean to say you said he doesnt know anything about movies and you basically quoted him through your entire rant. There was one or two parts where you made your own statement but that waas it. Just read it over and youll see.

 

[MikeHax]

RE: The Human Decepticon. I think she's supposed to be a Pretender [http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Pretender].

 

[TheCube]

Transformers = avoid. gotcha.

also, is it just me or is Moviebob becomming more and more like Yahtzee with a red background? oh wells, it isn't a bad thing

i dont think that makes him like zp for using backgrounds. he has simple images and he decided to use a colour instead of a dull black. unless he made it into characters similar to zp's as well he really isnt copying him.

 

[TheCube]

you think they could afford above d- writers that leave tons of plot holes lying around for a 200 million dollar movie.

 

[Loop Stricken]

RE: The Human Decepticon. I think she's supposed to be a Pretender [http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Pretender].

Of course it's not. Because it's not a robot inside a huge plastic shell meant to resemble some sort of super-deformed humanoid or ungodly hunk of Nightmare Fuel.

Haven't you been paying attention?

Why, these aren't Transformers at all1 they're just Shapeshifters! Mechanoids Playing Pretend!

 

[Nerf Ninja]

And your point breaks down to not liking it because you think its a cheap knock off...I think its a comparable knock off worthy of viewing like some of the big lots beast wars/Robotech/Macross figures are worth collecting..... so don't like it....don't consume it so you don't have to whine about it...least that is what everyone tells me what to do with modern gaming .

Actually I really enjoyed it. I don't know where you got the impression that I didn't from.

 

[hcig]

Seemed less like a review, and more like some guy who has a personal hate of bay ranting with flashing images, pretending to be yahtzee.

i knew not to trust him when he said it was worse than anything uwe boll ever made, Im gonna go see it tommorow morning, just on this review's reccomendation not to.

 

[Elminsters Hat]

Cheers MovieBob, great as ever.

 

[GuerrillaClock]

OK, this review has finally convinced me that Moviebob has little to no idea what he is talking about when it comes to film. Before I start, let me say that I didn't think that Transformers 2 was very good. At all. Every joke was frankly terrible and it was far too long and bloated, much more so than it needed to be. Did we really need to see Sam at college? What did his roommate bring to the film at all? Robot balls? And as for John Turturro's sagging arse... eurgh.

But really, to dismiss the notion that this was merely a dumb film based on a TOY LINE, and to dismiss anyone who subscribes to that notion as an idiot is asshattery of the highest order. Are you really so pretentious to think that a film about giant robots fighting is going to produce something other than a mindless boomfest? A FILM WILL ALWAYS BE LIMITED BY WHATEVER IT WAS INSPIRED BY, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. You want to stray from the source material, by extension straying from what the fans want? Go ahead. But in the entertainment industry, you don't fuck with the fans. An example of my point? Ang Lee's Hulk. Nothing technically wrong with it, but it was a film about the HULK, for God's sake! It veered off into totally irrelevant territory, alienating the fans and as such it was badly received. Michael Bay, with this film, was simply giving the fans what they wanted, making it bigger, brasher and louder than Transformers 1 in all areas. Unfortunately, this applied to the crap bits of that film too, but to all the people who are saying it's the worst film EVAR just because Spoony and co said so, you need to grow up a little.

Though half this statement you just agreed with moviebob. I mean to say you said he doesnt know anything about movies and you basically quoted him through your entire rant. There was one or two parts where you made your own statement but that waas it. Just read it over and youll see.

I wasn't criticising him for what his opinion was, as that's known as flaming and is generally Not A Good Thing. I was criticising him for his asshat justification of that opinion, and generally weak and stupid arguments used throughout the review. As such, that makes it a POOR REVIEW, even if I did agree (to some extent, I didn't think it was that bad) with the end verdict.

 

[Thesreyn]

Transformers 2 is serious business.

Every movie must be a piece of art, because simply having enjoyable film isn't good enough.

Michael Bay is some sort of anti-christ to some subgroup of humanity.

Geez people, Serenity wasn't a great movie by any standard's, but it's still awesome to watch! If you're this bent out of shape over a movie, I suggest you just kill yourselves so you can stop yourself from being potentially disappointed again [Eyeroll]

Here's an idea.

Instead of going OMFG IT'S SO SHIT, have a think about what was good about it? Giant robots, awesome battle scenes, quite a few genuinely funny (although some were cringe-worthy) moments and gratuitous amounts of sexual implications.

Eh, who am I kidding, most of you decrying this movie are going to be either trolls or moviebob fans, and if it's the last case, please take a look at yourself and consider having an opinion of your own for once, instead of listening to the next yahtzee ripoff

 

[Stewie Plisken]

Eh, who am I kidding, most of you decrying this movie are going to be either trolls or moviebob fans, and if it's the last case, please take a look at yourself and consider having an opinion of your own for once, instead of listening to the next yahtzee ripoff

Hello, hypocracy! You can't make a point about people getting their own opinion, when you outright discredit one you don't like! Please, go away.

And, yes, the first film sucked, I have no reason to believe this one fairs any better, especially since EVERY EFFIN' REVIEW makes the same point: ROTF is the first film, pumped with steroids.

The review was indeed hilarious.

 

[Thesreyn]

Once again: It's longer than 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you don't see a problem with that, in a genre which should all be about the ninety-minute mark, I'm going to have to drag you by your ears to film school.

[Laughs] So anything that goes over an hour and a half is shit then?

haha-ohwow.jpg

 

[Thesreyn]

Hello, hypocracy! You can't make a point about people getting their own opinion, when you outright discredit one you don't like! Please, go away.

And, yes, the first film sucked, I have no reason to believe this one fairs any better, especially since EVERY EFFIN' REVIEW makes the same point: ROTF is the first film, pumped with steroids.

The review was indeed hilarious.

First, it's hypocrisy. Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

And please. Sayign the word douchebag every 5 seconds does not make you "hilarious"

 

[Lightbunny]

Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

You're absolutely right. Text-over-a-slideshow is a completely original Copyright Ben Croshaw method of delivery. Bob, get to work on that whole "induced hallucination via contamination of the water supply" medium we were discussing, post haste.

Also, I hear Yahtzee's lawsuit against the patent holders for Powerpoint and overhead projectors is going splendidly. Good luck, you magnificent bastard.

Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

Here's another idea. Maybe it's not an issue of "brainwashed critic fanboys having to form their own opinions". Maybe a critic's job is to keep people from giving their money to these horrible movies. I went and saw the movie, and it was fuckawful. I feel as though I threw away $11.

Also, douchebag is a hilarious word.

 

[Necrith]

So, i just seen this movie with a friend of mine, looking back at it...

right when i got into the movie a bit with jetfire taking em to Egypt, they Suck you back out by doing (get ready for this!)
A police Car cache in Egypt!

so Manny stuff that made me think "wtf?"
Right at the start:
"Bumblebee go away"
when he said that, i tough:
Why would one want A normal live over driving a car that can turn into a giant fucking robot.

AND WHY THE FUCK CAN'T BUMBLEBEE TALK?
they Fixed it into episode one
"o look hes cute now"
no.. just annoying
As for the fighting.
PLEASE please please give all of them there own type of bright color next movie!

Example: open paint, take a random color, go draw lines with that
Select the same color, and start to randomly draw lines trough that other color.
Conclusion: You loose track of what line is going wear.
Solution: select a different color.

 

[Stewie Plisken]

Second, I didn't discredit his opinion. I discredit the way in which he goes about it and the fact that he is attempting to influence people by using the medium that someone else has already though of and uses -far- more effectively first.

I wasn't talking about your opinion of MovieBob. I quoted a specific part of your response.

Here's an idea. Perhaps you should go and see the film. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't. But until you decide to start making your own opinions on the basis of what you've seen, you deserve all the comments of "reviewer-arse-kissing" that someone lumps at you.

Perhabs you should ask around about what a review is supposed to do. It's not supposed to indulge my taste after I've seen a movie, it's supposed to help me decide whether or not I should go see it in the first place.