Escapism update: We have Gerald

[jim_doki]

(stolen from http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.73737#807120)

Jim hits a button on his watch. the Ultratech biosheild suit activates, as he dives out the airlock. while floating in space, one of the Klingons sees something out of the corner of his eye. It is Massive, tires from monster trucks and the chassis of an M1 Abrams. Thats right you grease sucking basement troll, its a freaking Motorbike-Tank. Its Huge Turret has been augmented by the addition of a minigun and a triple barreled Bushmaster cannon. Along its sides are missiles and lazers. Thats right, lazers.

tats right ladies, Jim controls Rolling Rightiousness

"now, I hae to outrun that hammer"

He guns it

Y

 

[Graustein]

My men have defeated all enemy forces in the immediate vicinity.
Awaiting further commands.

 

[rottenbutter]

Ready missiles!


Xitel, don't you dare eat that crab.

Don't worry, I wont let him.

 

[dekkarax]

I too, am standing by for orders.

 

[SargentToughie]

Ready missiles!


Xitel, don't you dare eat that crab.

The valliance turned back around

"Private! ready 35 of the particle beams!"

 

[Blind0bserver]

Upon seeing Doki departing his ship with little regard to either his or stromtrooper girl's safety, Van sighs. In a brief moment he teleports himself off of the ship and onto the bridge of Meatloaf's. He's done all he can for now.

"I should have kneecapped him when I had the chance..."

 

[Galletea]

50n right!
Proton missiles, open fire!
Aim for the cannons!

*The pulsing shots hurtle through the sky towards the weapon array*

 

[rottenbutter]

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

Aye, aye, Sir Groovy Pants

*grabs crab*

Come on you.

*hops off of the mound of corpses, and walks off*

 

[SargentToughie]

Toughie pauses
"They're aiming for our weapons..."

He nodds to himself
"Bring the Valliance 100ng up"

"Up... sir?"

"Yes, up"

The Valliance raises above the torpedos, they hammer into the Hullm rather than the cannons

Shields: 53%

"Now! Fire!"

35 small, light blue beams rocket out of the valliance's cannons, flying towards the enemy ship's port side

 

[xitel]

Ready missiles!


Xitel, don't you dare eat that crab.

I'm not gonna eat it. I will hug him and pet him and call him Gerald. Besides, I've got Ice Cream, and there's no real reason for me to hurt it. If someone paid me, maybe, but you'd have to pay me a lot.

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

Orders are as follow: Sit here and watch the hillarity ensue.

 

[Siuss]

(stolen from http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.73737#807120) Along its sides are missiles and lazers. Thats right, lazers.

tats right ladies, Jim controls Rolling Rightiousness

GASP! Incorrectly spelled weapons, my mind it has been thrown off, I lose two turns.

 

[rottenbutter]

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

Orders are as follow: Sit here and watch the hillarity ensue.

Yes, my lord.

*sits and watches hillarity ensue*

 

[xitel]

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

Richard, do not initiate conflict until further notice. I repeat, do not fire unless fired upon.

 

[Graustein]

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

In comes Graustein astride the Robodog, the glowing spikes of his Beam-Morningstar sizzling from the matted blood and gore attached to its gleaming metallic head.
He is followed by his battered comrades. Blanky is the worst off, tattered and bloodstained, slung over Robosoldier's shoulder. He calls for a tailor, to whom he hands Blanky.

We await your orders.

 

[Graustein]

...'Clear this up for me, why did we made you the leader again?'

I don't remember who made him leader. I thought Lady Galletea left you in charge.

 

[xitel]

Ready missiles!


Xitel, don't you dare eat that crab.

I'm not gonna eat it. I will hug him and pet him and call him Gerald. Besides, I've got Ice Cream, and there's no real reason for me to hurt it. If someone paid me, maybe, but you'd have to pay me a lot.

rottenbutter reassemble, our job is done here.

Standby by for orders.

Orders are as follow: Sit here and watch the hillarity ensue.

...'Clear this up for me, why did we made you the leader again?'

Because I formed the Council in the first place, and the Council leads the Organization.

 

[Galletea]

Drop left side, brace your selves!
*The open weapons bay drops down and the beams crash into the top of the ship*

Shield 50%
Hmmm.
Begin Hyper Cannon charge.
Redistribute power from the Ion cannon to the left and right engines. Circle around toward the port side of the Valliance.

 

[meatloaf231]

"Damage report!"
"We've lost three of our engines and the ship's listing steadily to port. If we don't land this thing soon, there won't be anything left to land."
"Alright, call the repair crews and get her on the ground. I'm going after Doki."

Meatloaf rushes down to the launch bays and climbs into his Argosy. Blazing out of the hangar, he radios the command deck.

"Fire the Triphammers again."
"But.. won't you be in the path of th-"
"Yes. Just do it."
"Confirmed. Firing Triphammers."

Meatloaf proceeds to ride the energy trail of this latest blast, headed directly towards Doki.

"Alright Doki. I'm coming for you."

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

After 18 pages intergalactic space battles, were a single one of Doki's demands met?

 

[rottenbutter]

After 18 pages intergalactic space battles, were a single one of Doki's demands met?

According to SHK, demand "d" was.