Escapism update: We have Gerald

[rottenbutter]

Can't we organise one of your minions to be my meatshield?

All of my...associates must be able to fight alone. You never know what will happen in a battle situation.

Yeah but only stupid white mages use defensive spells!

Well, there happens to be a "certain white mage" on the council. Perhaps you could be her personal lackey.

 

[Neosage]

Can't we organise one of your minions to be my meatshield?

All of my...associates must be able to fight alone. You never know what will happen in a battle situation.

Yeah but only stupid white mages use defensive spells!

Well, there happens to be a "certain white mage" on the council. Perhaps you could be her personal lackey.

Would she heal me?

 

[rottenbutter]

Would she heal me?

That's for her to decide.

 

[Neosage]

Would she heal me?

That's for her to decide.

As long as I can do really EVIL stuff and she wouldn't mind I would not care what my assignment is.

 

[Neosage]

Yeah but only stupid white mages use defensive spells!

Which is why I'd have you learn to fight. As a warrior, without your spells. Build up your reflexes and no one will be able to better you. You may even surpass me.

But my spells have the power to destroy cities!

Pff spells are so archaic, a simple Silence fixes that right up.

Isn't that a spell?

 

[rottenbutter]

Alright, enough of this "who is more powerful" nonsense. We have a mission to complete (well, start technically).

 

[Neosage]

What are the orders Lady Galletea and Erana?

 

[AlphaWolf13]

And what makes you so sure the crab you have isn't but one of the many doubles that Gerald undoubtedly has wandering through Australia?

I don't care, it's a cute lil' crab, like one I was trying to kidnap, and they are being truly despicable.
Surely there must be someone who lives not on the other side of the world, who could come up with a rescue plan?

The Escapist does NOT negotiate with terrorists. We will, on the other hand, do what we can to free the crab... I would recommend contacting the A-Team though. My battle fleet is more designed for planetary assault and defense than hostage rescue...

I have a great plan... All I need you to do is have your fleet bombard their location in 0200 hours... Don't worry, I'll get the crap out *walks off into the darkness*

 

[Neosage]

Oh about the closecombat...I guess I could use a masumane...

 

[xitel]

I do believe I've been missing something here.

 

[Galletea]

Oh about the closecombat...I guess I could use a masumane Masamune...

You're going to hell for misspelling the name of the most awesome katana ever. See you there.

Come now, misspellings of ludicrous weapons are not reason to go to hell. I would give you a Murasame at best. The Masamune is too unwieldy.
Ah Xitel...it's a long story.

 

[rottenbutter]

I do believe I've been missing something here.

*bows*

Ah, Lord Xitel, we were just discussing how best to "rescue" Gerald.

 

[xitel]

I do believe I've been missing something here.

*bows*

Ah, Lord Xitel, we were just discussing how best to "rescue" Gerald.

Crabcakes? Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm really freaking hungry.

 

[rottenbutter]

I do believe I've been missing something here.

*bows*

Ah, Lord Xitel, we were just discussing how best to "rescue" Gerald.

Crabcakes? Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm really freaking hungry.

Lady Galletea believes, it would be in our best interests to "rescue" the crab.

 

[xitel]

I do believe I've been missing something here.

*bows*

Ah, Lord Xitel, we were just discussing how best to "rescue" Gerald.

Crabcakes? Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm really freaking hungry.

Lady Galletea believes, it would be in our best interests to "rescue" the crab.

Right. Rescue it so we can make crabcakes! I'm from Baltimore, I've got plenty of great crabcake recipes!

 

[Neosage]

Oh about the closecombat...I guess I could use a masumane Masamune...

You're going to hell for misspelling the name of the most awesome katana ever. See you there.

Come now, misspellings of ludicrous weapons are not reason to go to hell. I would give you a Murasame at best. The Masamune is too unwieldy.
Ah Xitel...it's a long story.

Murasame as in the rain summoning katana?

 

[Sennz0r]

Damn this is so full of inside jokes I would have less difficulty exploring my own bowel tract...

...crab puffs done yet?

 

[xitel]

Oh about the closecombat...I guess I could use a masumane Masamune...

You're going to hell for misspelling the name of the most awesome katana ever. See you there.

Come now, misspellings of ludicrous weapons are not reason to go to hell. I would give you a Murasame at best. The Masamune is too unwieldy.
Ah Xitel...it's a long story.

Murasame as in the rain summoning katana?

Don't care what it is, it won't beat Dyrnwyn.

 

[Neosage]

Oh about the closecombat...I guess I could use a masumane Masamune...

You're going to hell for misspelling the name of the most awesome katana ever. See you there.

Come now, misspellings of ludicrous weapons are not reason to go to hell. I would give you a Murasame at best. The Masamune is too unwieldy.
Ah Xitel...it's a long story.

Murasame as in the rain summoning katana?

Don't care what it is, it won't beat Dyrnwyn.

YOU PLAN ON FIGHTING ME?? Galletea...I swore my allegience...And you send this man after me!

 

[Galletea]

Right. Rescue it so we can make crabcakes! I'm from Baltimore, I've got plenty of great crabcake recipes!

We are not making crabcakes.