Explain Why You are the Sexiest User!

[Leemaster777]

Everyone knows I am the sexiest ***** in the known universe:

Spoiler

Don't lie, you wish you were that water bottle, don't you?

...that water bottle won't stop calling me and leaving obsessive messages.

Captcha: gadzooks

See? Even the Captcha is smitten with me.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

I'm pretty sure I got everyone beat except for a couple of the girls and maybe the black guy. Wei Shen right up there clocks in pretty high, too. lol

And my dad's a handsome old man, too.

Dear maker of this thread, I have a question that will drop deep into your shut tight soul, and open it to a new understanding of things:

Do I need to?

It is a simple fact of nature I am inherently sexier than anyone on this forum.

I'm so confused right now. I really have no words. You guys are joking, right? You must be joking... "I'm definitely the most handsome one here because you can imagine that I look like Brad Pitt."

...you guys are joking, right?

 

[Zack84]

I never mentioned Brad Pitt. Not sure what else you're referring to.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

I never mentioned Brad Pitt. Not sure what else you're referring to.

Man... jokes lose all their muster when you have to explain them. The joke was that since you didn't post a picture, while saying you're better looking than everyone, you're pretty much forcing people to use their imagination; I.E. picture you as some hot celebrity--Brad Pitt. You get it?

It's not hilarious, but it's all I got. And I wasn't specifically referring to you; the other guy I quoted did the exact same thing, after all.

Also: there's a quote button, for future reference. Top right of the post you wanna quote.

PPS: when you post a picture, you better look like some sort of golden god. I'm talkin' REAL sexy. When I see you, I expect something like this to happen to anyone who gazes upon you:

Spoiler: LIKE THIS.

 

[ShipofFools]

Yeah I can never be as sexy as you guys, damn you guys are all hot!

 

[game-lover]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Much to everyone's disappointment, there isn't really that much of a difference between the two.

[HEADING=1]STILL THE SEXIEST![/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]SEXY AND ALSO DISAPPOINTING![/HEADING]

You look more attractive to me in the unshaven picture. So I think there's some type of difference there anyway...

OT: I'm way too modest to think go around expressing how sexy I am.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I am the Sexiest user. Why you ask? Three simple traits:

Long, luxurious hair
Deep, dazzlingly blue eyes
8 inch penis
I'm Awesome

I've posted pictures on various other threads so here's another one from a little while back

Spoiler: On the left with other members of the Elite Beat Agency

Spoiler: Because Guilty Gear

The top one is actually kind of recent (August 2013)

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'm sexy because I come in 2 forms.

Spoiler: Unshaven

Spoiler: Shaven

Much to everyone's disappointment, there isn't really that much of a difference between the two.

[HEADING=1]STILL THE SEXIEST![/HEADING]

[HEADING=1]SEXY AND ALSO DISAPPOINTING![/HEADING]

You look more attractive to me in the unshaven picture. So I think there's some type of difference there anyway...

OT: I'm way too modest to think go around expressing how sexy I am.

[HEADING=1]Awwwwww yeah![/HEADING]

So what? Do we get married soon, or later?

 

[SovietSecrets]

Because I make everyone else feel sexy.

 

[Jacob Fenton]

Because I share my name with a character from Timesplitters 2!

If that is ever going to score me sexiness points anywhere I imagine it would be here.

Also I am from Yorkshire, which by law of nature also makes me sexier than those from elsewhere.

On a serious note (or at least as serious as I ever really get...) I was told recently by a real life actual woman that I am "beautiful" and it wasn't my Mum or anything.

I don't know how to post a picture here though because I post so rarely, so you shall have to take my word for it. Apologies.

Jake Fenton away!

 

[2HF]

The beard, the bulk, the dark skin, I'm a fuckin teddy bear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ed_XLQhlLE

Captcha just got meta, asking me to type "in a box" in the little white box while the phrase was displayed in another box.

 

[BarbaricGoose]

I am the Sexiest user. Why you ask? Three simple traits:

Long, luxurious hair
Deep, dazzlingly blue eyes
8 inch penis
I'm Awesome

I've posted pictures on various other threads so here's another one from a little while back

Spoiler: On the left with other members of the Elite Beat Agency

Spoiler: Because Guilty Gear

The top one is actually kind of recent (August 2013)

Making me miss my long hair a bit, brother. Although mine wasn't straight, so I looked less like some Finnish metal singer and more like Maeby Funke.

I think I probably look better now. But still--I enjoyed it.

 

[MrBrightside919]

I'm the sexiest because i'm not sexy at all...

Your move, internet...

Spoiler

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I sometimes have a moustache. (As pictured in my Avatar).
I have a traditional British aristocratic accent.
I wear brightly coloured trousers (my mustard chords and my raspberry moleskins are to die for.)
I wear tweed.
I smoke a pipe.
I wear a cravat when the occassion is "Smart Casual", as a tie is too formal and a man shouldn't leave his neck on show when in the company of others.
I am an Officer, and have many uniforms that, according to movies, people swoon over.

 

[Setrus]

Spoiler

Ladies, look at me, now look at your man...*snorts*...sorry, I can't go on. :-D

 

[Cozmo1]

Is this enough evidence?

Spoiler

 

[Robert Marrs]

Oh wow. I've gotten so used to the massive amount of social justice warriors on this website I instantly read this as "Explain why you are a sexist user!". I am obviously the sexiest user because I have this totally badass scar on my elbow.

 

[Vault Citizen]

Well you see it all started when....... And thats why I'm the sexiest user on the Escapist

 

[generals3]

Oh wow. I've gotten so used to the massive amount of social justice warriors on this website I instantly read this as "Explain why you are a sexist user!". I am obviously the sexiest user because I have this totally badass scar on my elbow.

The same happened to me :| I was like "That's a weird question" and than i realized I misread and was like: ooooooh.

Anyway, why am i the sexiest? Because I have awesome suits. And I look awesome in them. For the sake of other men I rarely wear them.

 

[LittleWings]

Because I make everyone else feel sexy.

I think you may have just broken my heart...

EDIT: Anyway I think it's kinda weird if I find myself sexy... like... Ew, I don't want sex with me... Ew...