Favorite Yahtzee Line on Zero Punctuation

[scar-x-]

"Maybe if the world were a little less prejudice and a little more accepting then people might see that we all have the potential to be so much more and then we could all work together to build a better world for everyone. Not that they would know anything about work the lazy nig-"
-50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

 

[SantoUno]

This changes a lot for me but so far all I can keep thinking of is:

"No More Heroes is a japanese game based around jedi lightsaber fighting, as starring as the main character; a hopeless pop-culture obsessed social reject who spends most of his time whining, getting strung along by women and being a generally unlikable fuckbed, so at least he can't fault for understanding his audience, predictable joke."

LOL in a way I kidna relate to this, I wish I was strung along by women.

And also I just love it every time he shows an animal with tears going "why?"

 

[Yumi_and_Erea]

From his Burnout Paradise review:

"I kept having to pause the game in the middle of high-speed chases in order to bring up the map which like a menstruating woman falling of a tall building breaks flow."

 

[brutus3933]

The bit in "Wet" about Pillock and his boss.

 

[Emilin_Rose]

"Bull, Fucking, SHIT! We didn't lost contact, I was looking at them! They were etc..."

That sequence had me on the floor laughing.

"Now, obviously there have been many games with zombies in, but in most cases they're just standard challenge obstacles to litter the corridors, interchangeable with terrorists, or aliens, or mean-spirited traffic barriers. The trick is to recreate the tension and emotion of the zombie apocalypse, where you and the last three sane people on Earth huddle in a basement together somewhere, while the entire population of the landmass stands outside, meaningfully rubbing their bellies and waving ice cream scoops."

- Left 4 Dead review

"To me the Silent Hill series is over. And if Silent Hill V convinces me otherwise then I will remove three of my own vertebrae, curl my spine back and eat my own ass."

"...which like a menstruating woman falling off a tall building, BREAKS FLOW."

These, and "This feels a bit like reaching for the lowhanging fruit(and batman is nothing if not a lowhanging fruit),"

and of course "...But the reward's pretty lame, all the streets look the same, and the bads keep respawning, the cunts"

EDIT: oh! "everyone under the c2 demographic has suddenly gone what is medically known as batshit bonkers"

 

[OhJayEee]

"What would you get if you ground up the corpse of J.R.R. Tolkien and snorted it? Well, first you'd get a nose full of dead writer, then the police would want to talk to you, and you'd definitely make an enemy of Mrs. Tolkien."

"At one point as Alex Mercer is driving a tank down a sidewalk full of people he says "Gorsh! I sure hope this is the right thing to do." It's like if Mr. Bean was a mass murderer!"

And my all time favorite...
"I was almost accepting the realism of the game until Johan von Gas-mask showed up. Then I wouldn't have been surprised to se Hitler riding up on a giant robotic spider."

 

[Emilin_Rose]

While Valkyria Chronicles is about girls gossiping about boys while defending 100 acre woods from mean old farmer Hitler-Velvet Assassins

between this and Valkyria Chronicles what's with all the world war II games being created by the Axis forces?? What is this community service-Velvet Assassin

While we're on that note:

"...crouch walking around sewer levels failing to make friends" and "They have assault rifles, you have a pistol, they have several friends, you have a bad haircut"

 

[Chrislt]

"Oh Christ! This shit is bananas!" MGS4 review

 

[Christemo]

i still favour the "We lost contact" thing.

 

[Arkhangelsk]

"It's all right, you can swear on the Internet, you're mum's probably not gonna read it. I know, cause she's too busy being fucked, by me."

Oh, and: "...Yeah, it's pretty good. *end credits begin*...All right, all right.

Let me hold yor head under the bubbely waters of knowlage.

He actually says "putrescent", not "bubbly".

 

[Disaster Button]

While Valkyria Chronicles is about girls gossiping about boys while defending 100 acre woods from mean old farmer Hitler-Velvet Assassins

between this and Valkyria Chronicles what's with all the world war II games being created by the Axis forces?? What is this community service-Velvet Assassin

While we're on that note:

"...crouch walking around sewer levels failing to make friends" and "They have assault rifles, you have a pistol, they have several friends, you have a bad haircut"

Continuing that note:

"Velvet Assassin is about an emotionally dead young woman slitting the throats of Nazi's because they just peeled of a Jewish Baby's face and jerked off with it."

That HAS to be the best.

 

[Yudas]

Muddy Menudriven micromanage motherfuckery.

I would have broken my face saying that.

 

[Stryc9]

"A plot as twisted and impenetrable as a granite octopus." I think that was from Metal Gear Solid 4.

 

[Vuljatar]

My favorites are all from the GH3 one.

"The day I pay $60 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razor wire, pull the other end out of my ass, and floss myself to death."

"First, what happened to Clive Winston? And second, what the fuck happened to Clive Winston, you pricks? He was my favorite character! Now we've got some giggly J-Pop creature, and you can't play classic rock with that... thing, it's like cock-slapping the Mona Lisa!"

"All in all, it's just not as good as tonguing another man's balls. I mean, as it used to be.
.......
......
.....
....
I'm not gay."

Oh, wait, there's one from the RE5 review too.
"And the hero is old hand Chris Redfield, whose tiny dorky head on absurdly muscled body looks like someone left a chia pet on top of a fridge.

 

[Indiscrimi]

" I'm not a fanbo- Yes you are!

If you put your dick in a phail of chocolate pudding, even as you continue to tell people it still perfectly good pudding NOBODY IS GOING TO EAT IT BECAUSE YOU PUT YOUR DICK IN IT!!!!!

I believe the line went: "It just goes to show: Never stick your dick in a pudding. It may still be good pudding and you can spend all day explaining that to people, but no one's going to eat it because you STUCK YOUR DICK IN IT!" And I agree; I think that's one of his best lines. I was laughing for several minutes.

 

[redbum13]

"Let me hold your face under the bubbling putrescent waters of knowledge"

What review is this quote from?

 

[kannibus]

It's a bit of a toss up.

From the MGS 4 Review: "He lives with his support character and "best friend" Otacon and the two of them have adopted a child together. That oozing sound you just heard was made by all the world's homo-erotic fanfiction writers simultaneously simultaneously emitting torrents of hot lady-spunk. Anyway Solid Snake is tasked with the assassination of his evil cloned brother who is dead but lives on through his possessed arms which was grafted onto the body of OH CHRIST I CAN'T GO ON THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!"

And of course, the sum up of all the pain felt by the Aussies...

""Oh yeah," says Harmonix wiping chicken grease from his face as dusky maidens fan his corpulence. "Still dunno when we're releasing it but we do know that we're going to sell the instruments separately and charge you three times as much as Americans paid, NOW CAPER FOR MY AMUSEMENT YOU DIRTY AUSTRALIAN MONKEY MAN!"

 

[The Hairminator]

"it could only be more awesome if it had TITS and was on fire!"