Films that you regret watching
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A fairly recent one, Haywire. Dull, predictable, with a main character that seems unable to show any more emotion than an oven glove that someone's using to entertain a child. One of the main selling points was that the lead actress was a martial arts fighter and did all her own stunts. Unfortunately, this came at the expense of her very definitely NOT being an actress. The fight scenes weren't even that good. Realistic does not necessarily make more good viewing.
Oh and Eragon. Just because.
Oh and Eragon. Just because.
Gerry - [link]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302674/[/link]
"A friendship between two twenty-something men is tested to its very limits
when they go on a hike in a desert and forget to bring any water or food with them."
My dad found it on Netflix one night...whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH IT!
"A friendship between two twenty-something men is tested to its very limits
when they go on a hike in a desert and forget to bring any water or food with them."
My dad found it on Netflix one night...whatever you do, DO NOT WATCH IT!
Best of the Best 2
House of Flying Daggers
Hero (Jet Li)
The Lady in Black
The Minus Man (Owen Wilson)
Traitor (Don Cheadle)
The Resident Evil sequels (I actually liked the first one well enough)
American Gangster
Cellular
Avalon
The Contract (Morgan Freeman and John Cusack)
Most of the films on this list put me to sleep (good example is The Minus Man), but some, like Cellular, actually made me angry at how bad they were.
House of Flying Daggers
Hero (Jet Li)
The Lady in Black
The Minus Man (Owen Wilson)
Traitor (Don Cheadle)
The Resident Evil sequels (I actually liked the first one well enough)
American Gangster
Cellular
Avalon
The Contract (Morgan Freeman and John Cusack)
Most of the films on this list put me to sleep (good example is The Minus Man), but some, like Cellular, actually made me angry at how bad they were.
Napoleon Dynamite. Holy hell, this movie was so dull. Its lead actor was even worse.
30 Minutes or Less. BORING!
The Matrix. I just want to slap everyone who told me how good this shitfest was.
Grandma's Boy. Adam Sandler's sidekicks should never be allowed near a movie set again.
30 Minutes or Less. BORING!
The Matrix. I just want to slap everyone who told me how good this shitfest was.
Grandma's Boy. Adam Sandler's sidekicks should never be allowed near a movie set again.
It was called Submerged http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0218641/
It was the only dvd there (and by there I mean in a place where nothing but satellite can get through) and it was raining.
Its a movie about a plane crashing into the ocean and slowly sinking. It had a terrorist, a "hero", an fbi agent, a pregnant woman, a doctor, and an old war hero. Absolutely, completely cliche.
Picture Snakes on a Plane with no snakes and no Samuel Jackson.
I believe that movie came from the depths of hell itself. It sucked out my soul and I died. All of you are just my brain dying. Random sputters of consciousness trying to remember a life that once was.
It was the only dvd there (and by there I mean in a place where nothing but satellite can get through) and it was raining.
Its a movie about a plane crashing into the ocean and slowly sinking. It had a terrorist, a "hero", an fbi agent, a pregnant woman, a doctor, and an old war hero. Absolutely, completely cliche.
Picture Snakes on a Plane with no snakes and no Samuel Jackson.
I believe that movie came from the depths of hell itself. It sucked out my soul and I died. All of you are just my brain dying. Random sputters of consciousness trying to remember a life that once was.
I would say, Black Devil Doll. I feel dirty by just thinking about it. It's that kind of movie that you try to hive from your parents, and I'm a 22 years old man. It's not about the sex, though there are plenty of of those escenes, nor the violence or the cast, it's ALL the bloody movie. I hide it, because if my parents find out that I watched this film, they'll think that they wasted 22 years of their live by raisin and suppourting a "thing" that enjoys this kind of stuff.
It's a film 90 min too long featuring a darker version of childs play(darker as in black, and black as in... you know, the "N" word), with the twist that It end up raping and killing every one that happens to have more than 3 min of camera.
If this review seems a tad lacking, believe me, you aren't missing anithing that hasn't been done in other B movies, and better.
It's a film 90 min too long featuring a darker version of childs play(darker as in black, and black as in... you know, the "N" word), with the twist that It end up raping and killing every one that happens to have more than 3 min of camera.
If this review seems a tad lacking, believe me, you aren't missing anithing that hasn't been done in other B movies, and better.
I don't usually regret movies that I've seen since I'm very picky about the movies that I watch and, these days, I hardly watch any movies at all. Most of the movies that I could regret I haven't seen all of, so I'm not sure if they count. If I had to throw in any movie though, it would have to be:
Skyline
I watched it when my mom got the movie and I only managed to catch it from the middle to the end. The movie frustrated me because they never seem to answer any of the questions that the movie raises. Also, for me, this movie has one of the worse endings to date. Screw cliffhangers. This thing ends on an action scene. To give you an idea of what I mean, imagine if in the movie Jurassic Park, the credits started rolling while the people were in the facility trying to evade the raptors. Or like in Star Wars, if the credits rolled while the space fight was going on just before Luke took the shot to take out the death star. Now take those two examples and imagine that while the credits were rolling, the rest of the scenario played out like stylized snapshots in the background. Even THEN it doesn't truely end. There's no resolution, no questions were answered, and you're just left there wondering what the heck you just sat through.
The ending ruined the movie for me (what parts I did see) because it felt like everything before that was just a waste of time. My mom, who did see the whole movie, was as baffled as I was, so I assume that I didn't miss any parts where a mystery was solved.
Skyline
I watched it when my mom got the movie and I only managed to catch it from the middle to the end. The movie frustrated me because they never seem to answer any of the questions that the movie raises. Also, for me, this movie has one of the worse endings to date. Screw cliffhangers. This thing ends on an action scene. To give you an idea of what I mean, imagine if in the movie Jurassic Park, the credits started rolling while the people were in the facility trying to evade the raptors. Or like in Star Wars, if the credits rolled while the space fight was going on just before Luke took the shot to take out the death star. Now take those two examples and imagine that while the credits were rolling, the rest of the scenario played out like stylized snapshots in the background. Even THEN it doesn't truely end. There's no resolution, no questions were answered, and you're just left there wondering what the heck you just sat through.
The ending ruined the movie for me (what parts I did see) because it felt like everything before that was just a waste of time. My mom, who did see the whole movie, was as baffled as I was, so I assume that I didn't miss any parts where a mystery was solved.
The Hunger Games- Terrible acting(main protagonist's emotions range from bland to crying over the death of a friend you barely know) and little to no info if you haven't read the books. Overall very confusing on how the system works and why certain things are done.
Example: why did the area rue came from riot? This has been happening for 74 years and they revolt now? Was rue somehow important to her area. Why was she so liked. How did the the male tribute from Rue's area know that Katniss buried her. How did he know Katniss treated Rue with respect?
Example: why did the area rue came from riot? This has been happening for 74 years and they revolt now? Was rue somehow important to her area. Why was she so liked. How did the the male tribute from Rue's area know that Katniss buried her. How did he know Katniss treated Rue with respect?
Once again the Escapist crowd has proven to be a silly bunch of complainers.
Napolean Dyanmite- Love this movie, and it's also great for sussing out those who lack a sense of humor and or a tad of life experience
Tideland- To whomever called Tideland an indy piece of trash try wikipediaing Terry Gilliam
Funny People- If all you saw was a bad comedy you weren't watching the movie, it's a look at comedians and where they draw their humour from.
Troll 2- It's called the worst movie ever made for a reason, check out some history behind it for more LOLs
Indie, Low Budget, B-Movie, etc... - Grow up people, if you only want to see films with Hollywood production values you're cutting yourself off from 99% of the interesting, thoughtful and thought provoking movies out there.
Napolean Dyanmite- Love this movie, and it's also great for sussing out those who lack a sense of humor and or a tad of life experience
Tideland- To whomever called Tideland an indy piece of trash try wikipediaing Terry Gilliam
Funny People- If all you saw was a bad comedy you weren't watching the movie, it's a look at comedians and where they draw their humour from.
Troll 2- It's called the worst movie ever made for a reason, check out some history behind it for more LOLs
Indie, Low Budget, B-Movie, etc... - Grow up people, if you only want to see films with Hollywood production values you're cutting yourself off from 99% of the interesting, thoughtful and thought provoking movies out there.
The Human Centipede - First Sequence. Film critics called it trashy shit with no purpose other than to shock its audience. I watched it on a dare, and more or less felt compelled to brush my teeth (and my tongue) four times in a row to try and wash away the filth.
This is literally Tom Six (fitting name for a director) going "A-hyuck! I've always wanted to make a film with disturbing imagery in it and I've got that part covered... But I can't think of a convincing plot or reason as to why that disturbing imagery would actually take place!
Oh well, back to Tired Horror Movie Clichés 101 for this one, then! The only thing that matters is my masturbatory level of attention on degrading concepts nobody, not even Wes Craven or Robert Kurtzman, would want to touch!
LOOK, MA! I WENT THROUGH FILM SCHOOL AND NOW I MAED A MOVIE!"
This is literally Tom Six (fitting name for a director) going "A-hyuck! I've always wanted to make a film with disturbing imagery in it and I've got that part covered... But I can't think of a convincing plot or reason as to why that disturbing imagery would actually take place!
Oh well, back to Tired Horror Movie Clichés 101 for this one, then! The only thing that matters is my masturbatory level of attention on degrading concepts nobody, not even Wes Craven or Robert Kurtzman, would want to touch!
LOOK, MA! I WENT THROUGH FILM SCHOOL AND NOW I MAED A MOVIE!"
Hostel.
I love horror flicks, scary movies, etc. and I'm not particularly bothered by blood or gore ... but a movie that's all about watching people get tortured to death just isn't a fun time for me.
The later SAW movies get close to that territory, too. First one was good, Jigsaw was an interestingly twisted character, his traps were more about screwing with people and less about "lets watch someone's body get horrible mangled," and the twist ending took me completely by surprise. Correction: twist endings, plural. The whole last 20 minutes was mind-fuck after perfectly choreographed mind fuck.
For the record, I thoroughly enjoy the occasional "bad" movies that venture into "so bad it's good" territory. The Expendables, Will Smith's Wild Wild West, Street Fighter movie (fucking Raul Julia cracks me up) Manos, Plan 9 from Outer Space, etc etc etc .. all terrible terrible movies, but fun to watch and make fun of with friends.
The whole torture porn genre is just gross, not creative, not fun, nothing that movies should be, and it needs to go away, imo ... or be limited to direct-to-DVD snuff lite for people who are into that sort of thing.
I love horror flicks, scary movies, etc. and I'm not particularly bothered by blood or gore ... but a movie that's all about watching people get tortured to death just isn't a fun time for me.
The later SAW movies get close to that territory, too. First one was good, Jigsaw was an interestingly twisted character, his traps were more about screwing with people and less about "lets watch someone's body get horrible mangled," and the twist ending took me completely by surprise. Correction: twist endings, plural. The whole last 20 minutes was mind-fuck after perfectly choreographed mind fuck.
For the record, I thoroughly enjoy the occasional "bad" movies that venture into "so bad it's good" territory. The Expendables, Will Smith's Wild Wild West, Street Fighter movie (fucking Raul Julia cracks me up) Manos, Plan 9 from Outer Space, etc etc etc .. all terrible terrible movies, but fun to watch and make fun of with friends.
The whole torture porn genre is just gross, not creative, not fun, nothing that movies should be, and it needs to go away, imo ... or be limited to direct-to-DVD snuff lite for people who are into that sort of thing.