"First, where's the nearest bathroom I can use? While I'm in there, could anyone please bring me a newspaper, or tell me the date of today if there aren't newspapers anymore?" - would be my coherent, logical questions after I woke up.
Something random, like: "Send me back! I have to warn the revolution members that if the turtles eat broccoli they'll become the Hulk and make everybody dance Smooth Criminal!"; or finish a sentence, like: "... have the balls to pull the trigger, you wimp!" or "See? It's completely safe to walk amongst rampaging elephants." - If I wanted to make fun of my situation.