French Sex Toy Site Offers Free Vibrators to Diablo III Widows

[Formica Archonis]

As someone with no interest in Diablo 3, I offer my services free to any attractive Diablo 3 widows in the local area. And widowers. But widowers gotta pay, and I'm not talking dinner-and-a-movie crap, I mean money (most credit cards accepted).

...

What?

 

[Xan Krieger]

Well the people who bought Diablo 3 got fucked anyway on launch day, now it's time for their families to get in on it.

As someone with no interest in Diablo 3, I offer my services free to any attractive Diablo 3 widows in the local area. And widowers. But widowers gotta pay, and I'm not talking dinner-and-a-movie crap, I mean money (most credit cards accepted).

...

What?

I am also available and I'll be with you for free.

 

[The Last Melon]

For another - how is Absoloo going to make any money off of this? It's fantastic publicity, but it's also going to be giving away hundreds if not thousands of dollars of merchandise, since it's not exactly difficult to take a picture with the game (or a screenshot for the digital version), even if it's not yours. I guess it could always be shooting for the "repeat customer" market, though.

Pretty easily, actually. When gaming websites start picking up the story, such as now, the blog starts getting thousands of hits. Even if just 10 percent of readers clicked through to see the rest of the site, that's about 100 hits to browse the catalogue who wouldn't have considered the products before hand. On top of that, this is what I assume to be the smallest and cheapest vibrator they have, but anybody who gets it will have a certain amount of loyalty to the company and may decide to buy more toys. You never know.

 

[MC K-Mac]

Wait, so, these hypothetical women can't get their Diablo 3-addicted men to stop playing long enough to have sex with them? WTF? I thought sex was something women withheld from you unless you paid attention to them, not something they gave you when you felt like taking a break from gaming.

I realize this is just a light-hearted, humourous marketing idea, but the premise just weirds me out.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

OK, I have been known to game for several hours at a time, but do they really think that people currently playing Diablo 3 won't even take 20 minutes or so out of the experience if their girlfriend is literally gagging for it that much.

I mean come on, gaming is great and all but, sex is sex man.

 

[Draconalis]

So... that guy above probably got a warning for a small post... but I like to think it was because he spoke french.

 

[thomaskattus]

I am curious as to how many of the "widows" that posted photographs were actually posing with their own copies so as to get a free vibrator?

 

[The Hungry Samurai]

Pre order bonuses are getting weird.

 

[Waaghpowa]

My girlfriend plays Diablo with me, so everything works out.

 

[NightHawk21]

Gentleman fear not, as a man who does not have Diablo 3 yet, I will sacrifice myself and take on the burden of seeing to your women, so that you may game in peace.

 

[Charli]

Free vibrator...diablo 3... Free Vibrator... diablo 3...

Have my picture publicly shown on a sleezy facebook page... enjoy kicking virtual monster ass...

WELP decision made, that was easy.

I am curious as to how many of the "widows" that posted photographs were actually posing with their own copies so as to get a free vibrator?

Not gonna lie, it crossed my mind.

 

[renegade7]

Must...resist...urge to combine love of free stuff with love of making perverted jokes...

 

[triggrhappy94]

I guess small vibrators are cheap enough to make this viable.

 

[tofulove]

Hmmm.. my girlfriend is interested in Diablo 3 to the point where she`s upgrading her computer just to she can play it. I, however, have little interest in the game right now and may not end up playing it at all. I feel left out.

get your self a free vibrator! so you can play with your self while she plays the game, duh.

 

[Gir1yG4m3r]

I find this super funny, but sort of cool in a way. Just going to add my 2 cents...

First, I have found that most girls who complain about men on video games are not doing it because their sex lives are being tampered with. Usually, the guy just isn't paying attention to them, cuddling enough or going out. What kind of man would seriously play D3 instead over having sex? I mean, I'm sure sometimes sex is tiring, but really! French boys must take their girlfriends for granted. Or French girls want lots of sex. Maybe both.

Second, there are a ton of girls out there playing video games themselves. My boyfriend and I don't plan on buying D3, but we have already pre-ordered Torchlight 2 to play together. He has trouble with me being addicted to RPG games that I will literally play for over 10 hours in the day. Should they be giving toys to bored boyfriends, too? I would hope so! Tell boyfriends to hold up any of the Bioware games for the camera, or maybe Skyrim.


I would think an MMO addiction would be much, much worse. Or even a shooter like COD. Or DoTA 2. That's my boyfriend's addiction of choice.

So far, the people we know that have bought it are quite bored with it.

 

[JEBWrench]

Unfortunately, the vibrators need to be online to function properly.

And I know what you're thinking - "This is a single-player experience, why should I have to be online?"
Clearly, sex is meant to be multiplayer, and that's the experience that they're aiming for.

 

[thisbymaster]

If I had that choice, it would still be sex. But I don't so D3 it is.

 

[6SteW6]

Even when I was (and still am) enraptured in Skyrim I would not pass up sex. I'm like a dog with food, I never pass up the chance cause I don't know if I will wind up abandoned at the side of the road tomorrow. Can't tell if it makes me less of a geek or more?

 

[Risingblade]

oh wow...just wow I can't even think of something clever to say...wow