It's less about outside behavior and more about feelings. Like, sure, a constant diet of "no sex before marriage" and other such things will influence end behavior, but that doesn't necessarily equate to "don't find people sexually attractive before marriage". You wouldn't need chastity vows and promise rings and such, and stuff like soaking and jump-humping developing in response. (Nobody gets freaky like the repressed, I swear)
I think, to some extent, cultural notions of romantic and love and chastity do influence the experience of sexual attraction. For example, I think
because the expression of agentive sexuality or proto-sexuality is much less tolerated in girls, many girls learn in response to sublimate sexual desire into romantic desire. The desire for pleasure becomes the desire for love, and love becomes a kind of substitute or compensation for a self-imposed denial of sexual gratification. I think this is
less true now than it was previously, but I do think it's still a very real part of a lot of women's sexuality.
I rag on heterosexuality a lot and I understand it must be quite boring, but part of why I do it is because I
do think there is something quite fundamentally wrong with the kinds of heterosexual dynamics which are presented to each sex as the ideal they need to aspire to, because they fundamentally set each sex up to fail to meet the other's expectations. There's a scene in the film
The Love Witch which I think expresses this incredibly well, because the film is kind of about that search for an idealized form of complementarity between men and women. In the scene, two characters have a mock wedding, and during the wedding their thoughts are narrated in voice over. The woman is thinking about how loving a man means learning to love their flaws, to the point where the more you learn about a man the more you love him. The man, meanwhile, is thinking about how as you learn more about a woman, it takes away the fantasy and the mystique that she once had, until no matter how much she tries to love you just end up feeling smothered.
Of course, not all men and women think that way, in fact I would say that very few people do all the time, that's why I'm talking about it as an ideal. But I think a lot of straight relationships do fail because men and women are on some level pursuing fundamentally incompatible ideals. Women are taught to sublimate their desires into this idealized, unconditional form of love that exists only for its own sake and entails no real emotional closeness, while men are taught to endlessly chase an idealized, fantasy image of a woman and to project mystery and beauty and sexuality onto her only to discover that in the end it can't last, and all they're left with in the end is a person whom they have little in common with and get bored of. Neither sex is really able to relate to the other, because each of them has spent their lives absorbing that is is supremely important to be different from the other, and thus has repressed the parts of themselves that would enable them to coexist.
It's weird to me that older straight people, even those who are ostensibly in happy relationships and/or have been married for years, so often fall into this weird heteropessimism of constantly emphasizing the failures of their own relationship as a means of bonding or relating to other straight people. Like, that's a strange thing to do right?
Ugh, anyway. This is ADHD rambling. What I really meant to say is that I don't think human sexuality is completely outside of societal influence, I think it is merely outside of conscious influence or engineering. So, while I don't think teaching your kids that sex before marriage is evil is necessarily going to stop their uncontrollable rampant horniness from manifesting, human sexuality is at least partly formed from our experiences. A lot of women, and a lot of men who for whatever reason find themselves alienated from the aggressive, hypersexual fantasies of masculinity that our culture tends to emphasize as ideal, will end up redirecting their sexual impulses into a desire for emotional intimacy or towards the sense of worth and value that comes with being in a relationship, and their desires might become less about pleasure and physical gratification and more about the emotional gratification derived from some form of relationship dynamic. In that sense, I think having an emotional component to your sexuality is actually very normal, and most of us do to some extent or another.