New trailer for Duke Nukem forever has just been relis......oh...thats right.....im going to miss that joke.
Game Headlines from the Year 2050
- Thread starter Fuselage
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"Gamers petition politicians to stop full immersion simulations, the new craze amongst youngsters. 'Unlike in video games, people using these dreaded contraptions cannot tell truth from reality. It turns them into murderers and rapists. Won't anyone think of the children?' says representative coolxboxdude666."
"Madden NFL 2051 announced with new 'Be a Pompous Jackass' online mode"
"EA and Activison buy out the countries of Uzbekistan and Kazahkstan respectively based on revenues from popular shooter franchises, threaten to settle differnces with actual war"
"Suspected serial killer Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw arrested today after being found writing the words 'Press X to Not Die" on walls with a families' blood"
"EA and Activison buy out the countries of Uzbekistan and Kazahkstan respectively based on revenues from popular shooter franchises, threaten to settle differnces with actual war"
"Suspected serial killer Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw arrested today after being found writing the words 'Press X to Not Die" on walls with a families' blood"
" Microsoft sued in death of player as Xbox 2700 RRODs during mind upload"
" Atari Jaguar to be re released as first console with 4D capability"
" Gran Turismo 9 released including over 5000 cars, received with mixed reviews for clunky physic interface, but praised for realism as most cars are modeled to the atomic level while its current rival Forza 7 only at the molecular scale"
" Atari Jaguar to be re released as first console with 4D capability"
" Gran Turismo 9 released including over 5000 cars, received with mixed reviews for clunky physic interface, but praised for realism as most cars are modeled to the atomic level while its current rival Forza 7 only at the molecular scale"
[HEADING=3]HUMANITY IS NOT DOOMED![/HEADING]
Yesterday, the activation of the Skynet world security network almost led to disaster as the super computer attempted to access all WMDs in the world to destroy humanity. Fortunately, the core software written by Microsoft had an unusual bug that blue-screened the entire system in under half a minute. Bill Gates responded to the possibility that his computers harbor pure evil by saying, "Well, it was certainly unexpected. I hope the Mother Brain project we sent into space with the colonists turns out better than this.".
[HEADING=3]Jack Thompson Explodes, Killing 87,000.[/HEADING]
No explanation has been determined for this, the greatest tragedy faced in recent times. For whatever reason, the ex-attorney was in Los Angelas when he suddenly exploded with enough force to form a crater visible from orbit. Reconstructions of the scene via satellite recording indicate that he was being held up by a man in a Mario costume holding a machine gun. Why this would cause him to explode is still a mystery.
[HEADING=3]Megaman 85 Hits The Shelves.[/HEADING]
Capcom released the 85th iteration of the Megaman franchise, featuring Dr. Wily as the villain once more from the comfort of his retirement home facility for the clinically insane. Robot Masters seem to to be made from whatever his surroundings were at the time, thus we have...
Medicman
Senileman
TVman
Wheelchairman
Toiletman
Bedpanman
ReallyOldMan
and Deadman.
Also featured in an extra DLC, Mario cameos in the game as 'Plungerman'.
[HEADING=3]Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw Does It Again.[/HEADING]
The infamous reviewer/writer/developer ended his week-long 'Flipping You The Bird' session with curious reporters to announce that he's finally gotten his new game, "Tfarcraw Fo Dlrow", off the ground and should be completed by the end of the week. He apologizes for any delays, but "Unlike some bastards in the gaming industry, I want to put out something that isn't half-finished and full of fucking bugs". The controversal 'backwards leveling game' he envisioned back in 2011 is said to be the greatest game ever since Blizzard's WTF, the sequel to the high-grossing game that they'll charge us $23,000 just to mention anymore.
Yesterday, the activation of the Skynet world security network almost led to disaster as the super computer attempted to access all WMDs in the world to destroy humanity. Fortunately, the core software written by Microsoft had an unusual bug that blue-screened the entire system in under half a minute. Bill Gates responded to the possibility that his computers harbor pure evil by saying, "Well, it was certainly unexpected. I hope the Mother Brain project we sent into space with the colonists turns out better than this.".
[HEADING=3]Jack Thompson Explodes, Killing 87,000.[/HEADING]
No explanation has been determined for this, the greatest tragedy faced in recent times. For whatever reason, the ex-attorney was in Los Angelas when he suddenly exploded with enough force to form a crater visible from orbit. Reconstructions of the scene via satellite recording indicate that he was being held up by a man in a Mario costume holding a machine gun. Why this would cause him to explode is still a mystery.
[HEADING=3]Megaman 85 Hits The Shelves.[/HEADING]
Capcom released the 85th iteration of the Megaman franchise, featuring Dr. Wily as the villain once more from the comfort of his retirement home facility for the clinically insane. Robot Masters seem to to be made from whatever his surroundings were at the time, thus we have...
Medicman
Senileman
TVman
Wheelchairman
Toiletman
Bedpanman
ReallyOldMan
and Deadman.
Also featured in an extra DLC, Mario cameos in the game as 'Plungerman'.
[HEADING=3]Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw Does It Again.[/HEADING]
The infamous reviewer/writer/developer ended his week-long 'Flipping You The Bird' session with curious reporters to announce that he's finally gotten his new game, "Tfarcraw Fo Dlrow", off the ground and should be completed by the end of the week. He apologizes for any delays, but "Unlike some bastards in the gaming industry, I want to put out something that isn't half-finished and full of fucking bugs". The controversal 'backwards leveling game' he envisioned back in 2011 is said to be the greatest game ever since Blizzard's WTF, the sequel to the high-grossing game that they'll charge us $23,000 just to mention anymore.
Since it appears people think that we will just multiply 360 by 2 (the "Xbox 720" is the term random journalists use to describe a theoretical future XBox), and if we further assume that there will be an average of 10 years between consoles it would be the Xbox 5760. Also the headline would be:GreatTeacherCAW said:
"Xbox 5760 sets people on fire if they cease 'fun time mining activity #7' before the end of their designated enjoyment period".
Some of the Headlines where pretty predictable...
Well, let me add some more predictable things:
"SquareenixDisneygoogle announces remake of final fantasy 7!"
"Microsonyntendo announces the 'Xstation ii' console"
"'Fox news' to get honored with the 'best journalism' Award"
"Catastrophic flood of what looks like Semen wreaks Havoc in Seoul after 'Starcraft 4' Announcement"
"Steve Jobbs' Head in a Jar announces 'iUnholy Abomination'".
"Man executed in Kansas for being possessed by the devil"
"Activision employee was fired for not being possessed by the devil"
"Valve confirms rumors that the 'G-Man' is to be a Protagonist in new 'Sex and the City' iteration"
Well, let me add some more predictable things:
"SquareenixDisneygoogle announces remake of final fantasy 7!"
"Microsonyntendo announces the 'Xstation ii' console"
"'Fox news' to get honored with the 'best journalism' Award"
"Catastrophic flood of what looks like Semen wreaks Havoc in Seoul after 'Starcraft 4' Announcement"
"Steve Jobbs' Head in a Jar announces 'iUnholy Abomination'".
"Man executed in Kansas for being possessed by the devil"
"Activision employee was fired for not being possessed by the devil"
"Valve confirms rumors that the 'G-Man' is to be a Protagonist in new 'Sex and the City' iteration"
"Robot Overlord Zalgo blames video games for lack of violence."
"Minecraft now worlds most graphically intensive game."
"Genetic engineering scientists create worlds first Creeper."
"Explosion at genetic engineering laboratory kills 4 scientists."
"Minecraft now worlds most graphically intensive game."
"Genetic engineering scientists create worlds first Creeper."
"Explosion at genetic engineering laboratory kills 4 scientists."
Over a span of months...
"Zynga and Nintendo in talks of Farmville console release." - January 5th 2050
"'Farmville 2: The Reaping slated for Fall 2050." - February 23rd 050
"'Farmville 2: The Reaping' Facebook connectivity announced." - April 20th 2050
"Farmville earns 'most pre-ordered title of all time'." - August 1st 2050
"Farmville shatters Call of Duty: Intergalactic Warfare sales." - September 10th 2050
"Zynga surpises world in puchase of partner, Nintendo. " - November 3rd 2050
"Zynga buys Valve in their second major purchase." - November 16th 2050
"Zynga swallows publishers and developers at an alarming rate." - November 28th 2050
"Sony and Microsoft unite to combat the Zynga empire." - December 1st 2050
"The last of the rebels fall. Zynga dominates. All hail Zynga." - December 31st 2050
"Zynga and Nintendo in talks of Farmville console release." - January 5th 2050
"'Farmville 2: The Reaping slated for Fall 2050." - February 23rd 050
"'Farmville 2: The Reaping' Facebook connectivity announced." - April 20th 2050
"Farmville earns 'most pre-ordered title of all time'." - August 1st 2050
"Farmville shatters Call of Duty: Intergalactic Warfare sales." - September 10th 2050
"Zynga surpises world in puchase of partner, Nintendo. " - November 3rd 2050
"Zynga buys Valve in their second major purchase." - November 16th 2050
"Zynga swallows publishers and developers at an alarming rate." - November 28th 2050
"Sony and Microsoft unite to combat the Zynga empire." - December 1st 2050
"The last of the rebels fall. Zynga dominates. All hail Zynga." - December 31st 2050